Home »
Poems »
Funny Poems About Grandparents
Humorous and funny Grandparents poems and/or funny poems about Grandparents. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Grandparents funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Grandparents Poems.
Poem Details | by
Line Gauthier |
Categories:
funny, grandparents, longing, lust, night, nostalgia, silly,
On her nightdress candlelight flickers
While underneath she wears blue knickers
Grandpa recalls Kentucky
The last time he got lucky
Grandma just rolls her eyes and snickers
May 19, 2019
9-9-7-7-9
for Tania Kitchin's Bawdy Limericks Contest
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
baby, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous, relationship,
She was born with cat ears.
So cute! Everyone lied.
Some of us felt them.
They were striped, and furry.
Odd for a human head.
Gray, pink in the middle.
“Adorable!” some of us said.
“Can they be removed?” the new grandmother asked.
Making her daughter-in-law her enemy for life.
Poem Details | by
Smail Poems |
Categories:
age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,
Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!
Poem Details | by
Janice Canerdy |
Categories:
age, grandparents, humor,
There was an old geezer from Pippin
who wanted to go skinny dippin'.
He gave his wife whisky;
they got bare and and frisky.
Then into the pond both went slippin'.
April 9, 2018, entered in Viv Wigley's Traditional Limerick Contest
Poem Details | by
Michael Campbell |
Categories:
children, dad, grandparents, growing up, humorous, love, simple,
Running
Leaping
Spinning
Crashing
Running, leaping, wild,
Like a blur, my spinning, crashing, child.
Poem Details | by
Patricia Lawton |
Categories:
grandparents, growing up, humor, nostalgia,
Grandparents.
Many, many years ago
when grannies were little girls.
They had very long hair with polka-dot ribbons
entwined around their curls.
And granddads played with catapults and different
wooden toys.
They were full of mischief and curious little boys.
They learn to climb the tallest trees
and tease the little girls.
And pull their polka-dot ribbons out
and mess up all their curls.
Then they grew up and fell in-love
that's when their lives began to change.
They'd act daft with lovey stuff
which some girls found very strange.
Lives tapestry exchanges their struggles
to survive.
The best memories are those of my grandparents
and the changes in their lives.
Poem Details | by
Pat Adams |
Categories:
grandparents, humorous, sexy,
After sex she asked,"Should we try a threesome"
He answered, "It's not that the idea is bad,"
"But, I weigh two eighty, you one ninety"
"So I think a threesome is what we just had!"
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
funny, grandchild, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, grandson, love hurts,
I lost the remote in the living room.
On Saturday.
My husband and I ran around looking and looking.
At first it was just the couch pillows, we were looking through.
An hour into it we had made what looks like a bon fire,
Tipping over couches, recliners, and such.
We broke a couple of tables.
Hey, wait, my husband reminded me.
Merlin was here today.
I called Merlin’s mommy, our daughter.
She said, "Oh, darn. We just found it. We thought it
was the one we lost a couple of weeks ago."
Merlin is our two year old grandson
Whom we apparently did not watch
As well as we should have the
5 hours he was here.
He is going to have to
Leave his hoodie and
His diapers at home.
Poem Details | by
John Lawless |
Categories:
age, grandparents, humorous, life,
They’re out there
in their walkers
timeless stalkers
shuffling along
uncharted seas,
smiling at the
commonplace,
frowning
at the wind.
Grey clouds
of drifting age
content to meet
old shadows
holding court
on park bench seat,
practicing
the principles of peace.
gazing at a future
now in reach.
Do a little
shuffle dance,
kick a stone,
blow a kiss
to memory
and walk alone,
know the joy
of aging’s antics
because
it’s either
this
or
ceramics.
John G. Lawless
11/17/2015
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
feelings, grandchild, granddaughter, grandmother, grandparents, humorous, kid,
One time after an especially fun Grandma Cousin Camp Week
Where Grandpa was in hiding for 7 days, and 8 grandchildren and I did whatever
we please,
There was a bit of pouting
That it had to come to an end.
My oldest granddaughter, whom I will refer to as EM,
the wisest of the wise, because she is 4 years older
and terribly smart said,
"You know how you guys like to have a friend over?"
There was lots of nodding and yesing because we all love Em.
"Well, Grandma is having a friend over," she explained.
"It's GRANDMA!"
They all got in the car
and waved good-bye,
Fully understanding
now.
Poem Details | by
Terry Flood |
Categories:
car, funny, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, humorous,
Strange things happened that last time my Grandpa drove to town
He scrapped a nine eleven and mowed a phone booth down
Folkies in the future will very likely sing
The man trashed a McDonald’s but spared a Burger King
It barely made the papers, just local news in some
Someone should have told them that there was worse to come
Spielberg’s gonna make a movie, if the rumour’s sound
Of the total devastation when Grandma drove to town
19 December 2018
For Succinct contest
Sponsor Michelle Faulkner
Poem Details | by
Howard Kerr |
Categories:
crazy, family, fun, funny, giving, grandparents, smart,
Our big happy
family, since
granny left will!
NB Wills can be divisive in a wry humorous way.
Date created and submitted : 30 November 2020
Poem Details | by
Gerald Dillenbeck |
Categories:
age, birthday, grandparents, health, humor, senses, sexy,
I remember, do you,
age appropriate for two
grandparents like you,
when sixty-nine
was a thing that you do
when you're hot twenty-and-a-few
too many.
I remember, do you,
grandmother's party at the zoo,
Happy SixtyNine on her cake
smelled and spelled like "Mistake",
Happy BodyDay to you two,
each doing who,
sweet memories
too.
Poem Details | by
Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories:
drink, funny, grandparents, humorous, silly,
We recently lost my Grandpa
It took a toll on my Grandma
she took to the bottle
an unstable waddle
tripped on him hiding – such chutzpah!
Poem Details | by
Judy Valko |
Categories:
grandparents, humor, kid,
Grandpa’s Nose
Grandpa’s nose is rather big
it’s shaped just like a horn
It doesn’t bother Grandpa,
he says that’s how he was born
I’m glad it’s not a ‘pick’ a lo
or a snooty flute
but when people hear him ‘toot’ his nose
they stand up and salute
Poem Details | by
Pat Adams |
Categories:
funny, grandparents,
Old men in the home got Viagra
An experiment is what was said
They stated it was about safety
To keep them from rolling out of bed!
Since it takes a while to wear off
Breakfast can get a little loud
Turning around and knocking off plates
But at least they all look really proud!
It also cheers up the old ladies
They smile when they look up and down
Wanting to try an start a spark
Is easier with wood all around!
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
fun, funny, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous,
So I had to tell her to BLEEP off, Grandma.
She is fourteen, as of forty-six hours ago.
I am shocked.
I wisely decide to give her some Grandmotherly advice.
Me: Were there witnesses?
Molly: No.
Me: Did anyone have their I-phone out?
Molly: One, but I chased her down and smacked it out of her hand and hit delete.
I reported this conversation to my husband who rolled his eyes
And asked, “How is your Mini-Me?"
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
fun, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, hilarious, humor, humorous,
My four-year-old grandson
ran to the house to tell grandpa
to make me stop building a fire.
His older siblings laughed.
Toasted marshmallows.
“I am calling 911
and the Fire Department!” he
yelled from the porch.
“Come back and we can toast smores,” I said.
He stuck out his tongue.
“He came running in demanding my phone,”
my husband told me later, “so he could call
911 and the fire department.”
“And he wanted you to tell me to stop, right?”
I asked him.
We both laughed.
Four does not understand yet who
the boss is.
Poem Details | by
Indiana Shaw |
Categories:
grandparents, humorous, metaphor,
DISGUSTING GRANDPARENTS
"pensioners are revolting, they refuse to pay their TV licence"
Indiana Shaw . . . : /
Poem Details | by
Julie Grenness |
Categories:
appreciation, giggle, grandparents, growth,
Seenager is our new stage,
The years of our golden age,
Grey is our new blonde,
Sixty is now young, rock on!
Poem Details | by
Ellen Gwaltney Bales |
Categories:
age, grandmother, grandparents, hair, humor, nursery rhyme, parody,
Rockabye grandma
In the condo
When the wind blows
Her wig starts to go
When the hair flies
Grandma does too
Our gal was last spotted
Hovering over the zoo
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
grandchild, granddaughter, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, grandson, humor,
they swarm into our home like bees
seeking daisies, lilies, roses, and such
we throw sugary treats at them
allow them to commandeer the TVs
and the computers
Their parents roll their eyes
For we were never this way with “them”
We did not have to be
We were not their grandparents
The grandchildren want to live with us
They want to move in
They think we are better than their parents
Because we can spoil them completely for a few hours
Some want to spend the night
We have to say “not this time”
Because when they leave
we are exhausted and have to take a long nap
because our energy is completely gone
which is why God gives babies to young people