Funny Poems About Abuse or Abuse Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Abuse poems and/or funny poems about Abuse. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Abuse funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Abuse Poems.

Poem Details | by Skat A |
Categories: abuse, funny, husband, me,

Black and Blue


Today I wonder, 
Wonder why?
You hit me in the eye, 
you made me cry.

My eyes are brown,
Now they're black and blue.
Is that what I get for loving you?

My lips are pink, now they're bloody red.
Is that what I get!!!
Do you wish I were dead?

My teeth are white, 
I just lost three, 
Is that what I get over a little fight? 
I see a smile underneath,
I see you leaving with the police.
I finally got rid of you.
I can't believe I waited, 

NOTE: True story, I finally did the right thing and called the cops

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, anti bullying, flower, funny, garden, hurt, summer,

Sting Bee

i knew a bee that could sing

it worked for a queen and king

but they preferred honey

and paid it no money

now it sings backup for sting.

Poem Details | by Samuel Lee |
Categories: abuse, addiction, allegory, death, funny, metaphor, water,

To You, Crocodile

The river dragon of crimson streams
Swiftly swimming to bring my end
As I’m standing alone at the silent shore
The beast from this murk suddenly ascends.
Gripping my face in her flawless jaws
The teeth latched efficiently into flesh
Pulling me quickly into the depths
Dragging me into the shallow grave.
Surrounded in filth, drowning in the banks
The apex predator’s grip never relenting
All I can do is break, bleed and decompose
Hoping for some relief in the pending death.
I find some comfort in this prolonged pain,
Because I haven’t felt a thing in ages.

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: abuse, bullying, conflict, humorous,

Bully Me Sure

If you want to bully me, you'd better stand in line
And I'll warn you right up front, it's gonna to take some time
It's really not my fault, cause it's nothing that I do
The way that I attract every loser just like you


Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: abuse, addiction, art, funny,

Walk Softly

I love the way you walk in your stilettos
The clickety click sound of your heels 
The seductive sway of your hips 
And the luring gaze that appeals

But when you walk softy
That is what I love the best
As your stilettos cover new territories 
Across my bony chest

Oh the view my Soupies the view
Of man’s weakness I do stare
But never trust a woman in stilettos
As your bit lay unattended and bare.


 I am the Mad Poet. For Debbie Guzzi.  (I never enter contests to win.)

Poem Details | by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: abuse, humor,

Panagiotas Poor Footsies

Pangie was struggling in the heat
Said this heat wave sure has me beat
This old hot sun
Is no damn fun
Its swelling my poor little feet.

Written on 18th August 2020. 

Dedicated to Panagiota who is struggling in the Californian heat wave. 
On a serious note I hope things cool down for her. 
She gave kind permission to post it.

Poem Details | by Skat A |
Categories: abuse, animal, bullying, death, funny, humor, imagination, water,


-Bunny Hole- by:SKAT

hidden muddy home
dirty paws, good boy' good boy!
yummy with carrots :)


  -Unwanted Fluffiness- by:PD

Big Brown Burlap Bag
drop Bunnies down By the Bay
Better off -Blue grave


Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, bullying, funny, giggle, high school, humor, humorous,

Replacement Teacher

there was a teacher from crete

whose foot size was quite petite

well students did plot

and to school they brought

some shoes for oversized feet.

Poem Details | by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: abuse, bird, dream, horse, humorous,

To Tame a Shrew


Tunke Tunke Tunke
I dragged her along and into the trunk
Clunk clunk clunk, 
I hear some screaming from the Tunke

I drove away, in my brand new Lex
Avoiding both grammar and spelling checks
Safely away, I saved the day
Off I am to the road by the bay

Tunke Tunke Tunke
Her crass verse I too stuffed in the trunk
Drunk drunk drunk
How else does one explain a skunk in the trunk?

So by the bay, I opened me trunk
Someone is gonna be going for a dunk
I unloaded the cargo chapter and verse
At the bottom of the lake let’s see her converse

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, anti bullying, farm, giggle, humor, humorous, silly,

Shorter Farmer

a hungover farmer went one day

to a blacksmith shop to buy some hay

please dont think this funny

for he had no money

and so went home less vertebrae.

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,

Nerd Dad

once a child with a rattle

enjoyed crawling around cattle

till its mother found out

and to her ex did shout

you lost your custody battle.

Poem Details | by Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories: abuse, computer, funny, health, love, social, technology,

On the Fancy Package It Came In

on the fancy package 
it came in
it did not say
that smoking this 
might  be bad for your health --

in a dark corner of the room
I lit up my iPhone
smoked it 
and felt

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: abuse, bullying, culture, humor,

A Question of Value

They do dirty jobs without fuss
And bring to our culture a plus
We claim they're unfit
And upon them some spit
Yet illegals are better than us

Author's note: It's ironic that the people who promote family values would deport the parents of US citizens (children born in the US to alien parents).

Poem Details | by Jack Clark |
Categories: abuse, corruption, environment, humor, humorous, political,


The “Bad Witch of Oz” lost her throne
They weren’t gonna’ leave her alone
… the water was Fracked
… it’s how she got whacked
But … how many others aren’t known!

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, funny, hilarious, humor, silly,

Flaxseed Oil

flax oil tastes royal said jim

I can drink quite a lot no whim

as fda deems fit

and this liver dont quit

alas dear friends we buried him.

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: absence, abuse, confusion, corruption, funny,

Paranormal Activity

it's too late to read this poem!

The poem was removed, due to alien activity.

Area 51

By: PD

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: animals, funny, giggle,

Abuse of Soul Power

Look at those humans staring below
They laugh at us, but what do they know
     The “intellectual” beast
     On greed and judgment will feast
They gaze at us and think WE are slow

We stare back and know they are the fools
We follow a better set of rules
     As we hang from nature’s vines
     We just giggle at their whines
They fail to use their soul-power tools

*Written in honor of John Freeman and his "Limericks Hilarious" contest.

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: abuse, humorous, night, people, sleep, sound,

It's a Snap

It's also a snap
to break someone's nap.

Volodymyr Knyr 

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, anti bullying, bullying, england, humor, humorous, political,

What a Guy

imagine a wanker joke

parliament gone up in smoke

bringing a rocket

to work in pocket

well guy fawkes you silly bloke.

Poem Details | by Verlena S. Walker |
Categories: abuse, addiction, conflict, confusion, crazy, for her, funny love,


Must I be strong when you are weak? If I am not, does this justify your beatings? It would seem that the clouds would recede. A smile upon my face all would see. Volatile I deny. The antagonistic world is outside. In a world of iniquity, you are fighting self; therefore, no anti-emotions I let possess. I just have to take good care of self and I shall receive the victory. Note my mind is. Notice my body is not. Not you nor me can love any harder. No, I want space. Know I want you out of my face.

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: abuse, conflict, family, humorous, husband, sports, wife,

A Punchbag

Against a wife, a punchbag's just a dream!
While being punched it almost does not scream.

Volodymyr Knyr

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, anti bullying, bullying, giggle, holiday, humor, silly,

Tour Guide

an australian tour guide slang

when confronted by a gang

you better not be bold

and get you home when told

or mate you get boomerang.

Poem Details | by Rex Mccoy |
Categories: abuse, addiction, humor,

On Frozen Pond

So icy blue and windy too, the pub looms across the lake
One step forward three steps back, this nettlesome path forsake
So...Climbing upon the greenhouse roof, my drunken shortcut making
The glass beneath me shattering proof, of every step I'm taking
I cut my knees, I scrape my shins, my pants a ragged mess
A few more steps, I'll be across this frozen pond, I guess
A mighty crash, without a splash, the ice gives way too soon
My belt hangs up upon a nail, I dangle above the room
I wave my arms, I kick my legs
There's people under water!
and I'm not even soaking wet, except I relieved my bladder

Poem Details | by Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories: abuse, environment, funny, growth, life,

Castles In My Sink

I like Arthur 
stack my dishes 
high in mounds of glass and steel 
like castles in the sink they rise
until the very top 
when wet they slip  
to their and my demise

Poem Details | by Erik Spector |
Categories: abuse, humor,

Stated In English Parliament - From E a Poe

"Much I marveled this ungainly Foul to hear discourse so plainly
Though its answer little meaning;
Bereft of all that I adore."
Further sitting there in English parliament I wondered
What this monstrous Panting "mother"