Humorous and funny Abuse poems and/or funny poems about Abuse. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Abuse funny poems!
Written by
Skat A
Categories:
abuse, funny, husband, me,
Black and Blue
BLACK and BLUE
Today I wonder,
Wonder why?
You hit me in the eye,
you made me cry.
My eyes are brown,
Now they're black and blue.
Is that what I get for loving you?
My lips are pink, now they're bloody red.
Is that what I get!!!
Do you wish I were dead?
My teeth are white,
I just lost three,
Is that what I get over a little fight?
I see a smile underneath,
I see you leaving with the police.
I finally got rid of you.
I can't believe I waited,
UNTIL I WAS BLACK AND BLUE.
SK
NOTE: True story, I finally did the right thing and called the cops
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
abuse, anti bullying, flower, funny, garden, hurt, summer,
sting bee
i knew a bee that could sing
it worked for a queen and king
but they preferred honey
and paid it no money
now it sings backup for sting.
Written by
Samuel Lee
Categories:
abuse, addiction, allegory, death, funny, metaphor, water,
To You, Crocodile
The river dragon of crimson streams
Swiftly swimming to bring my end
As I’m standing alone at the silent shore
The beast from this murk suddenly ascends.
Gripping my face in her flawless jaws
The teeth latched efficiently into flesh
Pulling me quickly into the depths
Dragging me into the shallow grave.
Surrounded in filth, drowning in the banks
The apex predator’s grip never relenting
All I can do is break, bleed and decompose
Hoping for some relief in the pending death.
I find some comfort in this prolonged pain,
Because I haven’t felt a thing in ages.
Written by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories:
abuse, addiction, art, funny,
Walk Softly
I love the way you walk in your stilettos
The clickety click sound of your heels
The seductive sway of your hips
And the luring gaze that appeals
But when you walk softy
That is what I love the best
As your stilettos cover new territories
Across my bony chest
Oh the view my Soupies the view
Of man’s weakness I do stare
But never trust a woman in stilettos
As your bit lay unattended and bare.
Uhhhhhhhh!
I am the Mad Poet. For Debbie Guzzi. (I never enter contests to win.)
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
abuse, bullying, conflict, humorous,
Bully Me Sure
If you want to bully me, you'd better stand in line
And I'll warn you right up front, it's gonna to take some time
It's really not my fault, cause it's nothing that I do
The way that I attract every loser just like you
Heeee---yaaaaaaa!!!!
Written by
Tom Cunningham
Categories:
abuse, humor,
Panagiotas Poor Footsies
Pangie was struggling in the heat
Said this heat wave sure has me beat
This old hot sun
Is no damn fun
Its swelling my poor little feet.
Written on 18th August 2020.
Dedicated to Panagiota who is struggling in the Californian heat wave.
On a serious note I hope things cool down for her.
She gave kind permission to post it.
Written by
Skat A
Categories:
abuse, animal, bullying, death, funny, humor, imagination, water,
Bunny
-Bunny Hole- by:SKAT
hidden muddy home
dirty paws, good boy' good boy!
yummy with carrots :)
----------------------------
-Unwanted Fluffiness- by:PD
Big Brown Burlap Bag
drop Bunnies down By the Bay
Better off -Blue grave
~SKAT & PD~
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
abuse, bullying, funny, giggle, high school, humor, humorous,
replacement teacher
there was a teacher from crete
whose foot size was quite petite
well students did plot
and to school they brought
some shoes for oversized feet.
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
abuse, bird, dream, horse, humorous,
To Tame a Shrew
TO TAME A SHREW
Tunke Tunke Tunke
I dragged her along and into the trunk
Clunk clunk clunk,
I hear some screaming from the Tunke
I drove away, in my brand new Lex
Avoiding both grammar and spelling checks
Safely away, I saved the day
Off I am to the road by the bay
Tunke Tunke Tunke
Her crass verse I too stuffed in the trunk
Drunk drunk drunk
How else does one explain a skunk in the trunk?
So by the bay, I opened me trunk
Someone is gonna be going for a dunk
I unloaded the cargo chapter and verse
At the bottom of the lake let’s see her converse
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
abuse, anti bullying, farm, giggle, humor, humorous, silly,
shorter farmer
a hungover farmer went one day
to a blacksmith shop to buy some hay
please dont think this funny
for he had no money
and so went home less vertebrae.
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,
nerd dad
once a child with a rattle
enjoyed crawling around cattle
till its mother found out
and to her ex did shout
you lost your custody battle.
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
abuse, computer, funny, health, love, social, technology,
On the Fancy Package It Came In
on the fancy package
it came in
it did not say
that smoking this
might be bad for your health --
So
in a dark corner of the room
I lit up my iPhone
smoked it
and felt
satisfied.
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
abuse, bullying, culture, humor,
A Question of Value
They do dirty jobs without fuss
And bring to our culture a plus
We claim they're unfit
And upon them some spit
Yet illegals are better than us
Author's note: It's ironic that the people who promote family values would deport the parents of US citizens (children born in the US to alien parents).
Written by
Jack Clark
Categories:
abuse, corruption, environment, humor, humorous, political,
Fracked
The “Bad Witch of Oz” lost her throne
They weren’t gonna’ leave her alone
… the water was Fracked
… it’s how she got whacked
But … how many others aren’t known!
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
abuse, funny, hilarious, humor, silly,
flaxseed oil
flax oil tastes royal says jim
he will drink quite a lot no whim
fda deems fit
his liver wont quit
alas friends we buried him.
Written by
Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
absence, abuse, confusion, corruption, funny,
Paranormal Activity
it's too late to read this poem!
The poem was removed, due to alien activity.
Area 51
By: PD
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
abuse, anti bullying, bullying, england, humor, humorous, political,
what a guy
imagine a wanker joke
parliament gone up in smoke
brings in a rocket
hid deep in pocket
well guy fawkes you silly bloke.
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
animals, funny, giggle,
Abuse of Soul Power
Look at those humans staring below
They laugh at us, but what do they know
The “intellectual” beast
On greed and judgment will feast
They gaze at us and think WE are slow
We stare back and know they are the fools
We follow a better set of rules
As we hang from nature’s vines
We just giggle at their whines
They fail to use their soul-power tools
*Written in honor of John Freeman and his "Limericks Hilarious" contest.
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
abuse, humorous, night, people, sleep, sound,
It's a Snap
It's also a snap
to break someone's nap.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Verlena S. Walker
Categories:
abuse, addiction, conflict, confusion, crazy, for her, funny love,
Frowns
Must I be strong when you are weak?
If I am not, does this justify your beatings?
It would seem that the clouds would recede.
A smile upon my face all would see.
Volatile I deny.
The antagonistic world is outside.
In a world of iniquity, you are fighting self; therefore, no anti-emotions I let possess.
I just have to take good care of self and I shall receive the victory.
Note my mind is.
Notice my body is not.
Not you nor me can love any harder.
No, I want space.
Know I want you out of my face.
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
abuse, anti bullying, bullying, giggle, holiday, humor, silly,
tour guide
an australian tour guides slang
when confronted by a gang
better not be bold
and get home when told
or mate you get boomerang.
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
abuse, conflict, family, humorous, husband, sports, wife,
A Punchbag
Against a wife, a punchbag's just a dream!
While being punched it almost does not scream.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Rex Mccoy
Categories:
abuse, addiction, humor,
On Frozen Pond
~~~
So icy blue and windy too, the pub looms across the lake
One step forward three steps back, this nettlesome path forsake
~
So...Climbing upon the greenhouse roof, my drunken shortcut making
The glass beneath me shattering proof, of every step I'm taking
~
I cut my knees, I scrape my shins, my pants a ragged mess
A few more steps, I'll be across this frozen pond, I guess
~
A mighty crash, without a splash, the ice gives way too soon
My belt hangs up upon a nail, I dangle above the room
~
I wave my arms, I kick my legs
Hey!
There's people under water!
and I'm not even soaking wet, except I relieved my bladder
~~~
Written by
Erik Spector
Categories:
abuse, humor,
Stated In English Parliament - From E a Poe
"Much I marveled this ungainly Foul to hear discourse so plainly
Though its answer little meaning;
Bereft of all that I adore."
Further sitting there in English parliament I wondered
What this monstrous Panting "mother"
Meant.
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
abuse, environment, funny, growth, life,
Castles In My Sink
I like Arthur
stack my dishes
high in mounds of glass and steel
like castles in the sink they rise
until the very top
when wet they slip
to their and my demise