Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by Pinet, Emile |
Categories: 10th grade, 11th grade, 9th grade, bird, city, humorous, imagery,

Pigeons


Pigeons


Pompous city dwellers,
pretentious rock doves now
parade around like some 
popinjay or fancy
peacock, and yet, they're not
persnickety eaters, 
pooping on everything.


(Pleiades)


4/11/2021


Pleiades P Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Kim Merryman


Poem Details | by McHattie, David |
Categories: funny, humor, humorous,

A Simple Thought

The color of my house 
    does not define me.
The color of my car 
    does not define me.
The color of my skin 
    does not define me.
The color of my eyes 
    does not define me.
The color of my hair 
    does not define me.
Well... unless it was red.
    That would be just creepy.

         The End

Poem Details | by Salmonson, Jessica Amanda |
Categories: animal, cat, child abuse, childhood, cry, grandmother, humor,

What Grandma Said

"Don't you cuss at your ol' gramma!  C'mere! 
I'm gonna wash your mouth out with catsh*t!"

Poem Details | by POETRY, ALKAS |
Categories: allusion, analogy, creation, extended metaphor, humorous, poetry,

SURVIVING IN THE SEMI ARID




    Unbearable heat
    hinterland  the midday sun,
    seems war forced training  ...


Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

The Power of Leaven

Do you suppose I’ll ever see heaven
said his wife. Well, dear, it all depends
	if the Lord finds you fit to rise
	but, frankly, given your size
I’d give up bread and start eating leaven.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

The Seat of Wisdom


Legs crossed, eyes shut blind, rear on grass
she seeks enlightenment and needs it fast.
	But do you suppose
	this truth she knows –
the seat of wisdom sits in her head not her a--.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

The Lady from Bologna


There was an old lady from Bologna
who would say: “I lik-a to live-a alogna;
 	since mia husband he die,
	I say to me-self-a, why
leave-a this house-a where I belogna?”

Poem Details | by Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories: humorous,

What Was Special About This One

Sam knew as soon as he saw her
that he might never find another woman
more like his mom. 

He asked his sister to turn this stranger right side up
and find her shoe, and maybe put her dress down. 
Because she was hanging out of her driver's door
upside down, with her legs askew and a missing shoe 

His sister rolled her eyes.
He usually looked under rocks for his women. 
What was so special about this one?

Then she saw how disheveled she was
and immediately thought of their alcoholic mother
who had looked for love in all the wrong places
namely bars all of her life

Poem Details | by POETRY, ALKAS |
Categories: allusion, creation, extended metaphor, fantasy, humorous, irony, poetry,

KISS EFFECT



       With your kiss,
       after prince.
       I will become king ...
       Without your kiss,
       I became a frog without
        kingdom ... what else
        I will be ...! ?

Poem Details | by Grenness , Julie |
Categories: angst, appreciation, giggle, humor, money,

Great Idea

This is a great idea, tee hee,
Good suggestions are so me,
Nuisance caller was asking me,
Money for her fundraising committee,
"Right," said little old chirpy me,
"You can send cheques to me,
We need funds here desperately!"
I must say, sensitively,
Great ideas are so me,
Nuisance caller hung up on me!

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

For Jans Limericks

Parrots are known to mimick the speech
of their owners, and when upset to screech.
    Fred’s language is full of expletives,
    the filthiest being adjectives,
and it’s likely the parrot mastered each.

Poem Details | by Faulkner, Michelle |
Categories: allegory, humor, math,

Nevermind Number Nine

Rounded up
Forgotten pup
No hourglass shape
Like sister eight
Denied the pluck
Of seven's luck
No flashy tricks
For clever six
Lacking the vibe
Of cool kid five
Awkward score
No balanced four
Craves symmetry
Family of three
Alone and blue
Unlike cute two
While ten and one
Have all the fun
Eleven stays
Aloofly away
Twelve is far
Too popular
And all the teens
Have their own scenes
So, find time for nine
In your counting rhymes!

4/10/21

Anacreontic Verse contest
Sponsor: Silent One

Poem Details | by Smith, Gary |
Categories: humorous, nursery rhyme,

Little Bear Nursery Rhyme



Little bear, little bear, searching through the trees

Little bear, little bear, looked for honey bees,

Honey was his favourite, how he loved it so

So little bear, little bear, a-hunting he would go.

When he found a bees nest he'd try to scare them off

And if the bees then fled, their honey he would scoff

But if instead they stung him he'd make a swift retreat,

But little bear would try again... for honey tastes so sweet.

 






Entry for
Nursery Rhyme 4 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Eve Roper.
10/04/2021

Poem Details | by Ball, Judy |
Categories: funny,

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD AND FANTASTIC

God made a tree and He said it was good.
Man made a refrigerator and he said FANTASTIC!
God made a rabbit and He said it was good.
Man made a car and he said FANTASTIC!

Well the refrigerator got old, stopped working, and was taken to the dump.
The car ran out of gas, the tires went flat, the wheels fell off and was taken to the dump.
The tree is still standing and the rabbit is still running and that's the difference between good and FANTASTIC.

The moral to this story is that nothing Man made ever lasts for long.

Poem Details | by Afridhi, Eman |
Categories: 12th grade, april, deep, feelings, humor, irony, joy,

Rhyme is necessary

Once upon a time,
There was a lady,
Having every candy,
Some sour but tasty,
Some sweet but nasty,
Everytime I feel thirsty,
I went for a pastry,
That's how every poetry,
Will look like a messy pantry,
Having rhyme but not fluency.

By:EK ~Eman Afridhi
10/04/2021

Poem Details | by Flaherty, Christopher |
Categories: hilarious,

Goodbye Mrs Ozzy

With nothing but joyful exuberance
was i left with

When witnessing Kevin saying
unto my mother

Being lead by the dog he was
taking on a walk

Because Kevin you see was the
one who gave me my nickname
that has stuck and i took to heart

Because Kevin obviously thought
hearing my accent i was Australian

Rather than South African where
i was actually from

But the name stuck and till this
day i love it and makes me laugh

And the only thing better than
me being called Chris Ozzy

Is the memory of the day seeing
my mother being waved goodbye
to

By Kevin being led away by the
dog he was supposedly walking

Waving goodbye to my mum
saying

Goodbye Mrs Ozzy

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

***** Behavior


There was a worrisome filly who craved
a foal to ensure that her line be saved.
	She noted, however, 
	no stud had the hots for her
and more so how ***** he behaved.

Poem Details | by Kruize, Scott |
Categories: funny, humorous, inspiration, planet, space, success, technology,

Martian AIRcraft but no AIR

Perseverance, ingenuity: hallmarks of great mind...
Examples which we Earthlings are expecting more to find.
As NASA's news now streams from Mars, where there is little air
And yet they're setting up the helicopter dispatched there.
With AIR as so essential for the flight of an AIRcraft
We'll see if JPL designers are clever - or just daft!

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Professional Framer

To his lawyer, he said nervously:
My wife is a framer professionally.
	I’m sure she’s out to get me.
	Pray the jury finds me guilty.
I’ll take the chair. Otherwise she’ll hang me.”

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Heirless Lady

A lady with no heirs apparent
had her will drawn up transparent.
	Said she humorously:
	What I leave posthumously,
I leave to those like me not a parent.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

A Lady from Brooklyn

A lady from Brooklyn with a large goiter
complained to the doctor it annoyed her.
	I feel so self-conscious
	with a neck so humongous –
all those stares and laughs are pure moider.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Hot Peppers


A lady was warned not to eat
hot peppers because of the heat.
	At once she felt the sting
	but it was as nothing
compared to her rear on the seat.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

The Guru

There was a gray bearded old guru
who lived in the mountains of Zudu.
	For dispensing his wisdom
	he charged no small sum –
and now he lives better than me or yudu.

Poem Details | by Pathak, Aniruddha |
Categories: humor,

Economist

Meet a man that fudges from the fence,
Little he says ever makes great sense. 
His views, all but humdrum,
That he deems great wisdom,
And he’s been hedging O for long hence.
_____________________________________ 
Tongue-in-cheek |09.01.2021|
Topic: economist, humour

Poem Details | by Barkley, Cal |
Categories: animal, humor, humorous, journey,

Riding On A Llama

Once there was a farmer
Who rode to the pub on a llama
He said "In Peru 
It's the thing to do
Isn't she a charmer?"


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