These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.
Poem Details | by
Ellison, Jack |
Categories:
giggle,
Hap hap happy day everybody
It's that annoying Jester once again
Sending giggles and great big guffaws
To each and everyone times ten
Too much happy? Then click delete
Coz it's actually going to get even happier
Don't blame me, it's why I'm here
I'm paid to make you guys jollier
It's not a lot of dough but I get by
Money is secondary in my life
Most important is making you guys laugh
Helping get rid of your strife
I'm still a bargain at twice the price
Zero times zero equals zero
So come on back my poetry friends
I'm Jack the Jester, Super Hero!!!
Poem Details | by
Mo, Marugu |
Categories:
6th grade, fun, humorous, light,
I knew a mime who was ever silent
One of the many who were licensed
Hit his toe doing his act
Felt so much pain that he quacked
The city took away his mime license
Yes! knew this mime who was ever silent
He boarded a plane that had no toilet
Sat on seat, squirmed very pressed
Passed out gas was quite distressed!
Airline took away his season ticket
Then Bob wanted to be an astronaut
Wanted so bad that NASA he sought
He was a part time mime
Mimed the astronaut climb
To the panel his effort was for naught
Poem Details | by
Challender, Martin |
Categories:
funny,
London's expensive new bread,
Hokkaido Milk Loaf they said,
for Ready Sliced,
a tenth the price,
try Blackpool Milk Roll instead!
Poem Details | by
Wolf, Gershon |
Categories:
games, humor, time,
Playing solitaire to while the time away
I found that I was sleeping later, every single day
I tried to think of a new pastime
to challenge myself some more
So, first I became a sex fiend
until in the act I began to snore
Next I took up bungie-jumping
but I found it rather a bore
One last attempt – a crossword puzzle
‘til for ‘very sick,’ I wrote wuz’ll...
So back I went to solitaire, my old reliable friend
and that is how challenging myself ~
brought this poem and me to an end
Poem Details | by
Wolf, Gershon |
Categories:
animal, drink, humor, me,
A squirrel jumped onto my windowsill
It was not afraid of me
I winked at it, proffered a cup
Mouthed, ‘Would you like some tea?’
It hopped on in and dipped its head
right into the scalding hot tea
And that was the first and last time
that varmint took an invite from me
Poem Details | by
Goodling, Ina |
Categories:
hilarious, humor, humorous, march,
I.
I strolled through a field of clovers
Looking each one of them over
When I found that fourth leaf
All my joy turned to grief
When my prize was snatched by a gopher.
II.
Last night as I left the bar
A leprechaun stood by my car
He offered to drive
So I’d get home alive
And now I don’t know where we are.
Poem Details | by
Vionet, Anais |
Categories:
boyfriend, humor, parents, paris, sad love, travel, vacation,
Peter had to fly,
was that just last night?
I have attachment issues.
I hate saying goodbye
- it always makes me cry
an embarrassing tear or two.
Holidays go so fast
relativity’s been proven at last!
Fourteen days of leisure
of sordid intertwined pleasures
on days free of study pressures.
This morning i was in despair
splayed out on an uncomfortable chair
with tangled, unbrushed hair
wearing faded PowerPuff underwear
bored, and wishing Peter was there.
Poem Details | by
Dome, Peter |
Categories:
baby, caregiving, giving, humor, humorous, nonsense, nostalgia, visionary,
The Mother of Invention
Has given birth once more
And her new baby
Is as mad as before
Eddison or Tesla
Would spill their tea
I know because it happens to me
Baby suspenders?
I believe they are very rare these days
And I don't understand why
It's such a good idea
But I've had too many beers in the pub
And looking through beer glasses stuck to my eye
I wonder if they ever sold like hotcakes
And they'll catch on
I'd put my money on it
And hope I'm not wrong
Could be the perfect present for your friend's new baby?.
'Is that Sean Penn?''
Poem Details | by
Havok, Kovah |
Categories:
8th grade, best friend, funny love, growth, happiness, happy, heart,
I am in love again
I never thought I'd see the day
It was among things I had forgotten
How to feel in eigth grade
The first time that I met him
I was seventeen
And for a reason unannounced
All the school was called to the library
He, for his part, was in mourning
I, for mine, was not
He told me that his dad died
I told him Pyramid Head was hot
I asked about cremation
And the circumstance of demise
He confirmed incineration
And so I called the corpse precooked and suggested sides
Then I did a split and walked away
He was too shocked to be sad
He told me later I had made his day
And now is the best friend I've ever had
Poem Details | by
Radhakrishna, Krish |
Categories:
first love, funny love, giggle, giving,
he dare not correct even if she be wrong,
why does not her man learn forbearance in love,
he should know her by now, they been married long,
they were on holiday near the sandy cove.
an annoying habit most men she knew have,
to disagree with things female species say,
has a choice of red Porsche or marriage to save,
be reasonable man!if you want love, pay!
8 lines
11 syllables each line
ababccdd rhyme
Rhyme zone and How many syllables checked
An Old Farm poetry contest
Poem Details | by
Allison, Jan |
Categories:
body, humorous,
"My words may be fact or fiction, only the reader can decide!"
Quote by Poet
Uplifting
Unless you have been very well blessed
Perfect pert breasts often sag over time
Let me be totally honest with you all
I once had magnificent mammaries ... but
Feeding my son for a year put paid to that
They now hang down like spaniel’s ears!
It's vital ladies purchase a well fitting brassiere
No one wants to see boobs flop like cows udders
Gravity isn’t always kind to us gals!
Poem Details | by
Slaughter, Jim |
Categories:
humor,
A young newlywed colleen from Clones*
Surprised her husband with freshly baked scones.
Said the hubby, named Keith,
"Dear, I don't mean to beef,
But my teeth are more suited to biscuits than stones."
*A small town in Western County Monaghan, Ireland.
!!!Happy Saint Patrick's Day, P S!!!
Poem Details | by
Dimino, Joe |
Categories:
humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, perspective, wisdom, writing,
I evacuate
sitting on a throne
of waste…
till something live
emerges – taking
inspiration, wherever
it comes from…
the writer strains
filling bowls
and wastepaper baskets
inspiration navigating
internals and beyond
I am a Literary Proctologist
claiming from recycles
deciphering bottomless spirit scents
Poem Details | by
Freie, Randy |
Categories:
humorous,
No maker of goods or wares was he
A taker of coin that none can see
Just a cad so cool and debonair
And a pickpocket extraordinaire
He distracts his prey with rhyme and verse
And slyly smiles while stealing their purse
So eloquently recites out loud
Then quickly disappears in the crowd
City to city he makes his way
To practice his craft from day to day
Of his next victim he'll soon descend
Then scatter like ashes on the wind
Whenever you're walking down the street
And ever a chance you too will meet
If he was a gun, I'd never **** it
And if I was you, I'd check my pocket
Poem Details | by
Beaufort, Duke |
Categories:
environment, humor, integrity, judgement, money, water,
About toilet paper guests swipe
The staff at hotels have a gripe
They say steal it not
And buy one-ply Scott
Which won’t clot your home’s sewage pipe
Poem Details | by
Fowler, Linda Alice |
Categories:
cat, fish, food, fun, humorous, silly,
There once was a Cat who made a wish.
It had to do with Clancy's pet fish.
If its bowl would break,
one swoop would it take
to proclaim Clancy's fish quite delish!
Poem Details | by
Ireland, Terry |
Categories:
house, humor, weather,
Almost from their conception
Our Yorkshire kids are told
About our weather system
And our three degrees of cold,
‘unch, unch, and bloody ‘unch
Peculiar to our County
A climate that makes us ‘ard
And why we treat our weather
With much respect and regard.
That’s why we start ‘em young
Recommend dress that’s best
Clothing suited for the weather
From t-shirt to thermal vest.
We take weather serious in Yorks
It has that style verve and punch.
And we know the difference between
‘unch, ‘unch, and bloody ‘unch.
Poem Details | by
Etgen-Baker, Sara |
Categories:
humorous,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Blarney there’s one magic stone.
When you kiss it, you’re put in ‘the zone.’
You’ll soon gab with words so glib.
Matters not if truth or fib.
With a stout Guinness, one must atone.
Poem Details | by
Welch, David |
Categories:
appreciation, food, fun, happiness, humorous, light,
Mexicans make many things,
but the best is tacos,
bull-fighting is kinda cool,
not as cool as tacos.
Cheese and chips and refried beans,
folks put them in tacos,
awesome spices in the meat,
the soul of the taco.
You can buy them in the street,
lots of folks sell tacos,
or in a cantina seat,
they should sing of tacos.
You don’t need a plate to eat,
the genius of tacos,
as a setting their complete,
need no frills with tacos.
Have them wild or with heat,
either’s great with tacos,
some use fish they caught at sea,
that is one strange taco.
Get chorizo, get the steak,
now I want some tacos,
money can’t buy happiness,
but it sure buys tacos…
Poem Details | by
Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories:
adventure, fantasy, fun, garden, humorous, ocean, sea,
sculptured hobo of the sea
a pirate’s swashbuckling adventure
siren, kraken, leviathan
or some other ocean creature
but now enjoying retirement
as peaceful a garden feature
Poem Details | by
Peranteau, James |
Categories:
history, humor,
.
once
the
sneak
peak
twice
the
sneak
peak
thrice
the
shotgun wedding
*the bard doth know
peek vs "peak"
Poem Details | by
Wolf, Gershon |
Categories:
cat, giggle, murder,
Mysogynous Mouse
espied a cat in the house
~ exterminated the louse
Poem Details | by
Edmonds , Beryl |
Categories:
dad, humorous,
Dad went to work on an egg each day
Til one day the egg cracked on the way
Pants covered in yolk
It was not a joke
That his colleagues egged him on, all day.
Dad had an egg every single day
He wouldn't have it any other way
Til he got egg bound
And suddenly found
That he was clucking the day away.
Daddy was fond of his eggy bready
Every morning mommy got it ready
One day she was late
Much to her distaste
He ran off with merry leggy Peggy.
Daddy asked a barmaid for an eggnog
She thought that he was asking for a snog
She took him outside
And to her surprise
He said I was asking where was the bog.
Poem Details | by
Peranteau, James |
Categories:
humor,
.
kiss me
shut me up
*ask Google; for photos uv "French
Pink Pussy Willow trees" ;)
Poem Details | by
O'Hara, Mabel |
Categories:
betrayal, dark, evil, giggle, word play, writing,
All his best lines were mine; devoured my mind; words plagiarized.
Receiving compliments that came from my pen. He smirks and laughs with a devilish grin "I got away with it, again!"
He calls himself an ocean, pretending to be a 'deep sea green.' If I can go back, I would have never shared my precious poetry.
They say what you put out there, you get back, waiting for karma to bite him in the @$$!
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