Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by Lawless, John |
Categories: confusion, humor, memory,

DENY EVERYTHING

I writ a poem while in the loo
Not busy, nothing else to do
I writ it on some toilet paper
Recapturing some of a lost night’s caper

It seem so quickly things go wrong
Woke up this morning in a thong
Somehow it seems to fit just right
Not too loose, not too tight

My co-conspirators will give me thanks
When I fill in those missing blanks
OH, someone pounding on the door
The paper’s gone, I’ll write no more

Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: funny, nonsense, scary, word play,

The Ravenous Witch

the ravenous witch
famished with greed
tummied and toothed
in scoops could she eat

pickles and pockles
and piggy trough trays
gorging, gullooging
and munching for days

she went picking parcels
and morsels of stuff
jiggleberries, hockleberries
but never enough

apples and hopples
pebbles and pears
the horribliest fruit
even one covered in hairs

eating and eating
the witch ate a lot
gobbling and goffling
then on Saturday – POP 




Poem Details | by Mcintosh, Regina |
Categories: celebrity, fun, funny, funny love, hilarious, humor, humorous,

Having A Ball

The illustrious Lucille Ball For Ricky, she would fall Left the world a little better For everyone who met her! I Love Lucy, the hit tv show, With Ricky as Lucy’s Romeo, Survived through many years, Despite the creator’s fears, Lucy would stir hearts in her shadow. Lucy became a favorite performer. She certainly wasn’t a benchwarmer. Her heart worn on her sleeve, Caused viewers to truly believe!

Poem Details | by Grenness , Julie |
Categories: appreciation, blessing, encouraging, happiness, humor,

Mystique

Smiling, I read my tarot,
It said, "Go with the flow,"
Asked the faucet, you know,
Washing machine did overflow,
"Your gifts are for the world!
Positive vibes, old girl,
I mopped the floor, okay,
Go with the flow, this is today! 

Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: bird, fun, funny, humorous, nature, nonsense, silly,

Darn Owl Not Barn Owl

I swallowed an owl
I didn’t mean too

it flew in when my mouth was open
as I stood admiring a flowery garden
its feathers tickled making me cough

and scoff
                 a lot
                          panic and shout

and a little while later
then the darn thing flew out!





Poem Details | by Elless, R J. |
Categories: humor,

In a Flash


There was a scandalous lass. 
That let men handle her ***.
So, what  could she say?
They all had to pay.
Although, most came in a flash.

Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: fun, funny, holiday, humorous, nonsense, travel, vacation,

Packedy-Pack I'm Packing

I went on holiday
so I thought I’d pack
I put in my head
I’d be needing that

I packed my arm
because where’s the harm

so too my toes 
not forgetting my face
oh, my other arm too
went into the case

better take my legs and feet
they’re important indeed

I added my hips
and my ‘you know what’
well you never know
I might need it or not

should also pack my tum
then after that my bum

then off I went
after saying goodbyes
but would you believe it
I forgot my eyes!




Poem Details | by Healey, Jim |
Categories: humor,

Mary Had a Little Lamb - Alternative Version

Mary had a little lamb.
He stepped into some soot,
and everywhere that d**n lamb went
his sooty foot he put.

He followed her to school one day,
and this I must confess:
He got into the classroom
and made a bloody mess.

Poem Details | by Gorelick, Robert |
Categories: animal, humorous,

Unsavory Lunch

A Bengal tiger has an uncanny hunch That he'll encounter a tasty beast to munch Finding an inedible Prey with fear he roars go away! Then runs to seek a more suitable lunch

Poem Details | by Goldsmith, Paula |
Categories: blue, boat, fun, giggle, sea, write, youth,

Three In A Tub Nursery Rhyme

We ride the sea of blue, as the wind blew. Mounds of white grew, it is soap not glue.
Have you meet the three men? Bill is a writer with a pen, John is with businessmen, Tom likes to watch TV in his playpen.
Three men in a tub, plus one child in for a scrub. They belong to a club, the bath time dub-dub.

Poem Details | by M , Deb |
Categories: humor, humorous, true love,

Unconditionally


I love him

Though he is a grumpy old fart first class

He loves me

Though I am a royal pain in the ar*e


Unconditionally!

Poem Details | by Johnson, Md |
Categories: funny,

Haute Couture

The braggart tiger would always sass
That the humble donkey had no class
   “I sport a fine striped coat;
    Plain gray is not very haute”
The haughty cat brayed like an ***



Picture Prompt Poetry Contest 
Sponsored by Margarita Lillico


Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: giggle, language, satire, storm,

'Grammar Police' Strike Again

    In a most stunning reversal of form
    The ‘grammar police’ took over a dorm

        Kicked out all the radicals
        Screamed, ‘You’re non-grammatical’

           ~  Set off an academic protest storm 

Poem Details | by Gentile, Mike |
Categories: fashion, humor, humorous, people, philosophy, women, word play, words,

A Book And Its Cover

He mistook her for a hooker
                     And you bet, she’ll not forget
Thought she’s painted, she ain’t tainted
                     And for sure now, she is sore
       
As to whether wearing feather
                  On your thong is simply wrong
Or if lace around one’s face
                    At the heart makes one a tart

There are many for a penny
                         Who deflower by the hour   
And they’re mainly dressed plain-janely 
                 Better wake up, it’s a shake up!

Check your mirror, see it clearer
         It’s your mind, that’s what you’ll find
Stop expecting, start correcting
       Though she’s scented, she ain’t rented

Poem Details | by Kendrick, Sara |
Categories: funny,

A Weird Love Affair

Stay on your side of the brook, Tiger Or else there will be a great snipper To end you running your mouth So much wild noise from you spouts See you tonight at one, rough rider

Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: anxiety, fun, funny, humorous, mental health, nonsense, uplifting,

Jeff The Three-Legged Worm

Jeff the three-legged worm
they weren’t his legs
but legs that he’d found
from old bits of twig
just scattered around
he once saw a centipede
who laughed and made fun
of a young and shy Jeff
stuck on his tum
but Jeff swam through soil
and the centipede saw
staring in wonder
amazement and awe
the twig legs put by now
but kept just in case
although Jeff seems ok 
from the beam on his face




Poem Details | by Pathak, Aniruddha |
Categories: humor, political,

Presidency at sea

For an aging Senate it’s hard to see:
The country’s between devil and deep sea.
In a state such as that
Who’ll dare to bell the cat?
At stake is the power-packed Presidency.	
____________________________________
Happenings |04.07.2024| political, humour
Poet’s note: President Joe Biden was all fluster and froth in the presidential debate. Ex president Trump, his usual bluster and bravado. Both aging and frustrated. But who will stop them in an aging Senate (60 percent above the age of sixty, four above eighty).  Who’ll dare to bell the cat, this ditty wonders. 
  

Poem Details | by Peranteau, James |
Categories: beautiful, blessing, culture, giggle,

them thar

.

     the two tone'd
         textures

          theirn
           twist

          trading
     throat thunder
threading their thews
        titillating
      theirn think

       transfixed
      tete-a-tete

        toasting
    this         tempt'n
         tome'z
         teach

           tip
         theirn
      'telegence
         thusly




* diversely ethnical .)
*"tete-a-tete" means; 
  'head to head' [french]



Poem Details | by Colodub, Gregory |
Categories: fun, humor, rain,

Rain

If rain were a creature of shapeless form 
The taxman would tax some of the jets
That he would regard as beyond the norm
But the tax receipt the rain doesn’t get
It’s a conflict of law and water tycoon 
Who irresponsibly floods the land 
This affects the climate on Earth and soon
There’ll be more sea and less of sand 
By hearing this issues, the rain goes “ What?”
“Who do they think they are, judging me?
I’m closing my tabs, so you fools will get hot
Till you kneel and pray for my new jets to see.“

Poem Details | by Healey, Jim |
Categories: anti bullying, humor,

The Tiger and the Donkey - A Fable for Our Time

The tiger at the creek growled "You shall not pass!"
The donkey said "Oh, come on. Don't be so crass.
I'm only here to have a drink
and if you really, really think
you can stop me, I'll just kick your sorry a**!"

Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: fear, fun, funny, humorous, nonsense, scary, silly,

The Overgrown Track

There's an overgrown track
partially hoggled and hooned
where a wizened old hagglefud
made spells and priffoond
a great many years ago
but still no-one dares
to tronk up the track
in case she befrares
and cooks them in dopple soup
boils them in grole
then invites other hagglefuds
to scoffle them whole
so brout and be bruful
and know of the track
or you'll gottle and kile
as a hagglefud's snack



Poem Details | by Sinha-Roy, Subimal |
Categories: funny,

Fine Dentist


Cool donkey earned fame as a fine dentist.
For toothache his dinner glum tiger missed.
      His wide open mouth of dread,
      the donkey looked at, and said,
“your canines need extraction, I insist.”

Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: america, animal, clothes, humor, leadership, satire, senses,

What Americans Can't See

    They’re stark naked from their heads to their toes
    Our aspiring emperors wear no clothes
       Why can’t we see that
       They look like two rats
     Perhaps we’re too busy holding our nose

Poem Details | by Grenness , Julie |
Categories: appreciation, funny, giggle,

Failing

Let me spin a yarn, reality,
Failing the weight loss industry
No binge eating any more,
Comfort food had left the store,
NO COOKIES!, so hard,
Lettuce leaves by the yard,
Must stop pretending, I say,
Hobbit's second breakfasts, okay.
Time to accept, destress, funny,
Now home for raisin toast and tea,
Hot and sweet, fat like me,
Yes, failed weight loss totally!

Poem Details | by Ray Choudhury, Malabika |
Categories: friendship, humorous,

Why Not Be Friends

Thirsty Donkey went to the flowing stream,
Shocked to find a tiger, about to scream.
"We are friends, both need a drink",
Tiger said "calm down and think,
Not being enemies, let's be a team".


All Funny Poems