These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.
Poem Details | by
Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories:
fun, humorous, light, nonsense, silly,
bread butter and greens
a salad of vines and trees
a coleslaw of densely grown leaves
and boy did I want to add cheese
though tougher than tough
it was horrible enough
but oh no!
a rainforest sneeze!
Poem Details | by
Famuyiwa, Maclawrence |
Categories:
anger, animal, betrayal, hilarious, imagination, metaphor,
Cat Shepherd
You lead the park but scare no sheep,
An ewe went astray while you sleep,
Why weren't you on call round the clock?
To care for and protect the flock.
Your meow is just too soft a bleep,
No shepherd rules you could just keep.
How will you keep away the fox?
When your greed desires too the cocks.
The sadness you caused is too deep,
I will have to sell you off cheap.
You made my farm be on the rocks,
Sorrow is what you have in stocks.
You are proud to be a blacksheep,
Your joy is to see others weep.
At your foolishness, the dogs mock,
Who will wake me up from this shock?
Poem Details | by
SAKHARE, PRATIK |
Categories:
dark, deep, grave, humor, lost love,
My heart’s a grave, don’t wake her, wake her.
Her laughter stings like glass in the veins,
If she's poison, let it break her.
Nights fall heavy, shadows dance,
If love’s a joke, just make her faker
I’ve chained my soul to her absent touch,
If I’m the sinner, drag her further.
Hey God, if I can’t take her, take her,
Poem Details | by
Gorelick, Robert |
Categories:
cat, giggle, halloween, humor, scary,
Kitty Ghost Host
My cat Champ's a gracious host this Halloween night
Filling each bag with three Snickers and a Kit-Kat bite
But is reality blurring?
Champ floats by me purring
He's a translucent ghost-host, such a frightful sight!
Poem Details | by
Woods, Crystol |
Categories:
cute, funny,
Three bros., Wideye, Snaggletooth, and Zonkers
When in town went a little bit bonkers
With the girls that walked by
What was level with their eye
Was ogled, whistled at, or they'd honk-hers!
Poem Details | by
Sms, Ryan |
Categories:
funny love,
There once was a guy
who wanted to try
to wrap a girl around his finger
but he met Ginger
who immediately saw right through him
and took him to the gym
where they started exercising
and formalizing
their friendship
before they went on a field trip.
Ginger took him to a farm
where she maximized her charm
and let her new friend do all the work
before telling him that she could never settle for a jerk.
Poem Details | by
Sinha-Roy, Subimal |
Categories:
fun, humorous,
Three brothers went out to have some fun quick.
The capped one’s magic made ghouls in a flick,
wide-eyed one froze, lest turned prey,
lad with lost teeth looked away.
They got accolades for Halloween trick.
Poem Details | by
Henry, Michael |
Categories:
allegory, fun, humorous, river, satire,
Two Bees or Not To Be
Bumble bees buzz busily
In Betty’s big back yard
Balmy breezes blow in from the bay
Beautiful the butterflies
That flutter here and there
Bluebells and begonias gently sway.
Beyond the far horizon
Below the setting sun
Bobbing boats upon the water blue
And far above the seagulls soar
Bemoaning with their cries
Two inconsequential mortals,
Me and you
Poem Details | by
Slaughter, Jim |
Categories:
humor,
I've two computers I'd like to sell,
They're old, but they both still work very well.
They are Windows desktops, aka, a PC,
One browses with Firefox,
And one with IE.
I can't recall, now, which is which,
But as near as I can tell,
The latter's in the Acer,
And the former in the Dell.
Poem Details | by
Pathak, Aniruddha |
Categories:
dog, humor,
A man who weighed function, not form,
Went to a doc for a nose norm,
The doc to his job rose
And fixed a doggy nose
That breathed full and felt nicely warm.
Yet, he could not bark at
The doc who was a vet…
In teacup was wasted his storm!
______________________
Tongue-in-cheek | 12.01.2016 | humour
Poem Details | by
Famuyiwa, Maclawrence |
Categories:
confusion, funny love, jealousy, lost love, lust, sad love, silly,
Stunning beauty her face really was!
She was shaped more like a lovely vase.
Never for a one night stand!
Booze brewed my sins in bare hands!
Beer dragged my shame under my wife's claws.
Poem Details | by
Coon, Charles |
Categories:
adventure, humorous, lost, words,
Separated
Not separated
Between
Not between..
No anchors
Apparently
And not
Apparently...
Poem Details | by
Goldsmith, Paula |
Categories:
cat, giggle, rap, sleep, smile, uplifting, words,
Cat cat wear your cap,
Cat cat go catch a rat.
Cat cat paws to tap,
Cat cat can you rap?
Cat cat now take your nap.
Poem Details | by
White , Paul |
Categories:
funny,
I have been to the depths of hell and fought the devil in his own house.
The fight was physical and mental and lasted for weeks until the losers fell to the floor and surrendered.
With head hung low cut and bruised mentally exhausted the losers left hell and was never seen again.
All I can say is that the losers will now be roaming the world in shame.
AND ME I LOVE MY NEW JOB AND ITS NEVER COLD IN HELL.
Poem Details | by
Healey, Jim |
Categories:
animal, humorous,
Mauricio, the merry moose
in Lanny Locke’s garden let loose.
He munched on mulberries,
chips, chestnuts and cherries.
The produce he poached was profuse!
His cousin, Carol the cute caribou
consumed cucumber, cabbage and cashews;
and Kory the cute koala
wandered down from Walla Walla
bringing broccoli, beans and barbecue!
Poem Details | by
Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories:
dog, family, fun, funny, humorous, nonsense, pets,
I trod in custard thick yellow and cream
my paw
in the bowl when she put it on the floor
to take her shoes off when she got in
the door
Poem Details | by
Challender, Martin |
Categories:
10th grade, england, family, humor,
Alma is back on BBC
with tales of eccentricity
even the critics said it’s good
they’re calling Bolton, "Brollywood"
claiming it's worth the licence fee
It's warmth is positivity
facing life and absurdity
in ways no-one else, would or could
Alma is back
BAFTA award winning TV
based on the writers family
Willan, she's our Walters and Wood
champions the misunderstood
if you catch it, then you will see
Alma is back.
Poem Details | by
Moorcroft, Pamela |
Categories:
humor,
Teeth gnashing
Pencil snapping
Clock ticking
No clicking
Words failing
Mind flailing
Forehead sweating
Frowning, fretting
Blank page,
Blocking rage!
Poem Details | by
Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories:
adventure, fun, funny, humorous, nonsense, retirement, sea,
I packed my worth on a dinner plate
and walked afar out to sea
you see
I reached an odd little island
shaped like a banana and pea
you see
I met a blue polka dot creature
with a hot pot of honey and tea
you see
I was poured a mug and we talked
such a charming and wise pigmy
you see
I realised the hour was late
better get back to home said he
you see
I hitched a ride on the moon
and was back at a quarter to three
you see
so that was my day and my trip
you see
the day I went off out to sea
you see
but what will I do tomorrow
you see
now I’m retired and free, you see
Poem Details | by
Sinha-Roy, Subimal |
Categories:
funny,
The zippy mouse, a sneaky astute magician
Went up the stage with slithering elan
Waved his shining black top hat
Watched from behind the wings by Billy, the cat
The lights dimmed, he pounced with stealthy snare
The mouse flipped the hat, Billy vanished in thin air
Poem Details | by
Edmonds , Beryl |
Categories:
humorous,
May liked to play on the monkey bars nude
She had convinced herself it wasn’t rude
Because, to May, everyone’s made the same
Except that extra bit, which she won’t name.
May had a fright one day showing her all
Off the monkey bars she had a huge fall
The gals ran away, the boys did stay
Amused by her momentous bare display.
This is a lesson for all those who fall
If you play on monkey bars, cover all.
Poem Details | by
Rodrigues, Kim |
Categories:
animal, humor,
Oh Deer
Look deer, a deal.
Steering wheel swerved.
My meal on wheels.
Deer-ly Departed
Hunter hunted.
See there’s Freddy -
stopped dead in tracks.
Just Look Up Fool
High beam dreamer.
Should occur to
him; heir on roof.
Hibernation Hideout
Bern let cub go.
Small bear-throw safe
in fro-zen sleep.
Poem Details | by
Read, John |
Categories:
humor,
I knew a young lady named Heather
She'd make love in all sorts of weather
Out in the woods
She'd share her goods
With Tom Dick Harry and Trevor.
Poem Details | by
Lane, Lin |
Categories:
humor,
Born and raised a city girl, I moved to Colorado,
married a handsome cowboy I call my 'desperado.'
One night we were making love beneath the moon,
snuggled together. Oh, how that man could spoon,
when I caught a whiff of something awfully stinky.
I said, "Darlin,' are you doing something kinky?"
He laughed out loud and said, "Honey, get inside.
You've lots to learn about living in the west, my bride.
That stench you're smelling is the nasty odor of funk.
It's roadkill because it's the season of dead skunk."
Poem Details | by
Lawless, John |
Categories:
humor,
variations
it stinks, you smell
smell is the province of the nose
stink the trigger of the nose's province
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