Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by POETRY, ALKAS |
Categories: allegory, allusion, art, dream, fantasy, humorous, love,

IMPOSSIBLE LOVE




I follow someone through the magazines
I'm higher than in love I'm a fanzine
I tie myself to her nightly on television
but i don't date a person just a vision
I love a melodrama i don't miss a scene


Poem Details | by Pathak, Aniruddha |
Categories: humor, marriage,

Expiry date

She: for long have you been staring at
This scrap of marriage certificate!
He: see, foods lose freshness,
Wed-locks no less I guess,
Yet, this one has no expiry date!
________________________________________
Food items packaged and sold must come with a best-before date, the administration finally decides at long last. And why not, for, everything in life has a best-before date, perhaps, even marriages.

Tongue-in-cheek | 03.02.15 |

Poem Details | by Dietrich, Andrea |
Categories: humor,

Footles on Females


Thank the Aid

Give nurse
a verse

Non-stop Housekeeper

Hyper
Wiper

Flattery for a Larger Woman

Call 'er
smaller

60's Model Gone Fat

Piggy
Twiggy

Blossomed Friendship

Two gals
now pals

June 12, 2021
for Brian Strand's 'ALL YOURS (Jun 12)' Poetry Contest

Poem Details | by Abdool, Justin |
Categories: funny, humorous,

The Embarrassing Guy

There once lived a man who was shy
Cause he's an embarrassing guy

He was told to tuck
That hose in his truck

But would still leave open his fly!


Poem Details | by Laurie, Lindsay |
Categories: humor,

Gluttony

Two garden snails met by the way,
and one of them had this to say;
“Last night I did manage,
to eat half a cabbage,
now I feel a mite ‘sluggish’ today”.

Poem Details | by HANKINS, L MILTON |
Categories: fun, humorous,

She Met Her Quota

I met a salesman from North Dakota Who was adept at meeting her quota More money she made Than jobs ever paid And she shared not with me an iota.
June 11, 2021

Poem Details | by Hinshaw, Robert L. |
Categories: humorous, lust,

Cicadas

The cicadas proliferate habits

   Are akin to promiscuous rabbits

      They have infested the land

         And its gittin' outta hand

            They should observe the pledges of abbots

Poem Details | by Romios, Panagiota |
Categories: humor,

TO BAKE OR NOT TO BAKE





       In the mighty town of Stern,
       Non-cake makers, were thought of
       as lowlier than worms?

       If a pre-made cake was bought,
       Shamed were they and thought of 
       nothings and naught!

       I am no humungus fan of skullduggery.
       Nor will baking ever be my ecstasy!!

                     6-11-2021
       

   








Poem Details | by HANKINS, L MILTON |
Categories: humorous, poetry, words, writing,

When the Well Runs Dry

Sometimes the well runs dry
The tear fails to repeat
My muse refuses to try
I throw up my hands in defeat

My inertia a mystery to me
I cannot find a word
This sudden urge to flee
The Poetry Soup herd

A white page stares back
The keyboard is locked up
My mind is totally black
I still have my coffee cup 

Fourteen lines, for goodness sake,
Do not an acceptable sonnet make!

June 11, 2021

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

UFOs

Of course I don’t believe in UFOs.
What aliens in their right mind would go
	so far out into space
	to see an “alien” race
as whacky as ours, unless they were also? 


Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

French Onion Soup


A lady from Avignon
made a potent soup à l’oignon.
	The ingredients were few
	wine and onions, just two –
ajoutez plus de vin si vous n’aimez pas les oignons.*

*Add more wine if you don’t like onions.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Miss Tuddle

A certain Miss Tuddle
spoke with an inaudible muddle.
	Straining one’s ear
	in order to hear
was a damn lot of trubble.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Fond of Fibbin

A lady who was fond of fibbin’
claimed she was in fact a munchkin.
	I escaped from the Oz
	she said when he waz
snoozin’ and of course not lookin’.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Adversely Judged


A runner with oversized feet
was disqualified to compete
	because said a judge
	he was adversely judged 
not to have feet of an athlete.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

A Lady of No Means


A lady of nearly no means
was down to a meager few beans.
	Said she: “I’m thin as a rail,
	and to see me you might fail
were it not for the smell of those beans.

Poem Details | by POETRY, ALKAS |
Categories: allusion, appreciation, betrayal, business, funny, humorous,

NOBEL PRIZE BUDGET GADGET



The difference in carrying out works within budget
 on  works contracted and made is a buffet
 for that reason only higher math could explain
but until now every effort to explain was in vain
Nobel Prize of Science who made this gadget  !

Poem Details | by Gaul, Greg |
Categories: fun, humor, loss, money,

The Money Thingy

Ole Ollie 'twas told to
look and find fun in it.
Irv's lot was just to get
at least a bit of it.
Well Big Bill, y'all know
says he saw some of it.
Fast Freddie famously
he had a run of it.
While Dizzy Don never
really got done with it.
But lucky me, I got
only the best of it.

Some are born into it.
Others go right through it.

Poem Details | by Lee Sr., James Edward |
Categories: analogy, devotion, engagement, funny,

A Programmer Man Called Phisher-man Sam

A Programmer Man Called Phisher-man Sam

There once was a man who liked fishing.
He said, "See the lovely phishing!"
It was computerized,
Not good to dress or fry ,
He couldn't resist the revision.

6/10/21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2021©

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Apropos Epithet



          If an epithet be inscribed
               on my grave stone,
        let it be this, and this alone:
                  I lived, I died.
         In this I was like everyone.


Poem Details | by Romios, Panagiota |
Categories: humor,

UGLY AD




     Love the ad, above this poem,a woman with hanging jowls?
     Makes me laugh, not scowl!
     
      Another one, had a word that rhymes with dart!
      Obnoxious ads, with which I want no part!


                       6/10/2021
      


Poem Details | by Grenness , Julie |
Categories: encouraging, humor,

Energy

This is too funny,
Ain't the energiser bunny,
Ain't misbehaving anyway,
Let's all have a positive day!

Poem Details | by Romios, Panagiota |
Categories: humor, poetry,

SOME DELICIOUS COUPLETS

I  prefer to  be sober with a box of coconut candies.
Than to be with a conceited bloke, who thinks he more 
is just randy!

Or to be with a poet who offers me champagne, 
Thinking, he the Bard, re-incarnated!
Please, I beg, do not get me started.

How about  being with a poet, with Baked
Alaska, flambé!
Not out to impress me, with his deep poetry.
Just to frolic madly, shouting, “Ole.”

I need a day off, with creme puffs and stop 
being so serious!
Everyone knows I have yet to pen a limerick!
A retard, I am, because of this?


                   6/10/2021

Poem Details | by Elliott, Regina |
Categories: 7th grade, 8th grade, bird, funny,

Artie's Aviary

Atrium aviary avid avocation of aviator Artie,
Artie's airline associates in attendance admire
awesome award winning aviary,
birds blissfully bathe in birdbaths, build nests
in birdhouses for broods,
chickadees, cardinals, cockatiels, catbirds,
catch caterpillars, as cameras click,
ducklings, doves, downy woodpeckers,
delighting donors,
eagles eagerly exhibit exceptional
fluid fancy flight,
but, be aware, belligerent blue birds of
paradise, proudly poop prolifically !

Poem Details | by ALLISON, JAN |
Categories: clothes, humorous,

'SOLE' MATES


New dentist, he’s called Mister Payne His image is fixed in my brain He wore fuzzy green socks Pink suspenders and crocs I’m hoping I’ll see him again! I ogled him from the black chair His quirky clothes sure made me stare A red latex G-string Hardly covered a thing The rest of his body was bare! He polished and checked all my teeth And revealed his first name was Keith He admired MY gold crocs Lace basque and red socks We’re dating tonight on the heath! Fuzzy socks and crocs Poetry Contest Sponsored by Francine Roberts 06/10/21

Poem Details | by Kavanagh , David |
Categories: allegory, break up, humor,

Let me down slowly


  Turned his back, for he ain’t got no spine
  Invertebrate snail, leaving a trail of slime 
 Stood me up, promised we’d go for a climb
  I waited all day, and it’s already nighttime 
 Never trust slugs, let you down all the time 
Oops! just heard, he’s been held up on a tine 


Bite Size Poem no6 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier 
10/06/2021



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