These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.
Poem Details | by
vionet, Anais |
Categories:
humor, religion, satire,
I bought the shroud of Turin
the vatican had a sale
they have legal expenses
and priests that needed bail.
It was just an old dusty cloth
so I put it in the wash
that Tide detergent, never fails
all the smudges and stuff washed off.
don’t get excited, i was raised a catholic
Poem Details | by
jimmy boom semtex, nick armbrister |
Categories:
funny, rude, satire,
Dumpers
The gal with the **** cannon
Let’s one rip a right good fart
You can smell it from here
It smells of baked beans
And mushy peas plus cabbage
I wonder what it’s like
When she takes a dump?
Poem Details | by
Peckover, Jaden |
Categories:
food, funny, happy,
In the oven's warm embrace, you rise,
A doughy delight, a savory surprise.
Naan bread, you're a gift from above,
A culinary creation we truly love.
Your surface adorned with charred grace,
Tandoori-kissed, in every case.
From India's heart to lands afar,
You're the superstar of the culinary car.
With ghee or garlic, you're often paired,
A taste so exquisite, none can compare.
Soft and fluffy, or crispy and thin,
In the world of bread, you always win.
From the tandoor's heat to our plate,
You're the reason we celebrate.
Naan bread, a poem we gladly sing,
A culinary masterpiece, fit for a king!
Poem Details | by
jimmy boom semtex, nick armbrister |
Categories:
crazy, funny, rude, satire,
**** Hat
The American was an **** hat
A real screw ball idiot
Who didn’t care what people thought
She did this and that what she wanted
A new tattoo left nipple coloured dark green
Right ear extended elf like
Having sex with 70 year old men
Just for the Hell of it
Not to get their cash
A real **** hat gal
She was a local character
One whom people detested
Crossed the road to avoid
Yet she was smart could argue
On vague stupid topics
Her real name was Dawn
In reality they called her slang
Names unprintable here
She’s the **** hat gal
Full of crap a real lunkhead
Imagine if you were her
So full of **** hat !
Poem Details | by
jimmy boom semtex, nick armbrister |
Categories:
funny, satire, sick,
**** Mucus
The alternative man liked an **** massage
Getting his sphincter muscle lovingly relaxed
This allowed his **** mucus to flow with love
Every time he took a dump in the royal throne room
Pushing a curly big turd with S turns in it out
Plopping into the bowl like a fish back in a pond
The masseur did the best butt massage
It was only money and it all got soothed
Green enjoying his bung hole massage
Making sure he produced mucus to
That and regular sphincter muscle work outs
With a big black ***** and American butt plug
Poem Details | by
Empress, Ink |
Categories:
funny, giggle,
Wicked cold wimp weaving
Wrinkled woes on Samhain
Warlock of witchery
Waving threefold fiction
Whilst hanging on chaos
Wretched and worthless from
Worn out dry iced love spells
Poem Details | by
CHAKRABARTY, RAJAT KANTI |
Categories:
fun, funny,
A girl ate a hat, what a thrill,
Mistaking it for her contraceptive pill.
In her moment of haste,
A hat she did taste,
Now she's throwing up, her tummy's bloated still!
Poem Details | by
Koplin, Mark |
Categories:
humor,
In this land of rhymes, both wild and rare,
here comes a tale I’ll weave with care.
It’s for those who’ve earned disdainful thoughts,
for actions unkind and deceitful plots.
Feed them peanuts! Oh, hear my words,
then flush them down like pungent turds.
Let’s raise our hands, a sign for all,
and let that birdy stand nice and tall.
Feed them peanuts! A gesture grand,
let’s show them love and where we stand.
On this bunch let’s shed some light,
then with their fluff they can take flight.
Oh, in this land where tales unfold,
the beautiful people write words of gold.
In ivory towers they spin and sit,
then silently enjoy my words of wit.
Poem Details | by
Etgen-Baker, Sara |
Categories:
bird, funny, humor,
HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!
HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!
HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!
Poem Details | by
Flood, Terry |
Categories:
fairy, humorous,
There’s a fairy going round who does hair transplants in the night
She does them while your sleeping so you wake with quite a fright
I have no gripe with transplants so don’t think that I’m a moaner
But could I be recipient… and not the bloody doner!
Poem Details | by
Breese, Richard |
Categories:
autumn, conflict, funny, giggle, humor, insect, september,
a farmer under a tree
remarked stung by a small bee
seems each september
rain or fair weather
we seldom seem to agree.
Poem Details | by
Messina, Charles |
Categories:
humor,
A kibitzy klepto keeked like a kakapo at a kerfy knotholey kist that kept knickknacks made from kidskin and krimmer in it. His knockoff kiths were knackered of the kookie knucklehead's kleptomaniacism- kudos to them!
Poem Details | by
ALLISON, JAN |
Categories:
drink, humorous,
My neighbour, Mellifluous Myrtle
Her urine she’d stir with a spurtle
She’d give me a wink
Then down it as drink
She’s loopier than the mock turtle!
One Sunday we’d watched the Grand Prix
She proffered a flask of her pee
I said, “Sorry dear
It’s cloudy not clear -
I much prefer my English tea!”
Her pubic hair she'd tried to perm
The lotion gave a nasty burn
I phoned up Bill, her son
And said ,"Please visit mum,
Her conduct is cause for concern."
I recently heard some great news
That Myrtle’s son won a year cruise
I must hope and then pray
When they leave on Friday
Her bev’rages ain’t from the loos!
Poem Details | by
lawless, John |
Categories:
humor, irony, kid,
Surrounded by toys the toddler played in the sand with three rocks and five sticks.
Poem Details | by
Wolf, Gershon |
Categories:
fantasy, giggle, hyperbole, ocean, scary,
Swimming in the ocean
a wincing couple pinches
Little creature on my leg
not more than six or seven inches
I looked again, to my surprise
Hello! - a trilobite!
Two pincers jutting from its head
tiny, fearsome sight
I scolded it: 'You are extinct'
'Now go away and I won't tell
You'll get to live another day.'
He stayed... So, I swatted him
to prehistoric hell ~
THE STUPID ONE-CELL DUMBBELL
Poem Details | by
Wolf, Gershon |
Categories:
humorous, scary,
What... Was I thinking -- again... Dangerous habit... Got to kick it soon...
September 21, 2023
What Was I Thinking' contest
Sponsor: John Lawless
Poem Details | by
Flood, Terry |
Categories:
humorous,
The gas leak in my cellar made me yelp ~ I’d thought the candle might help
Poem Details | by
Etgen-Baker, Sara |
Categories:
humor, poetry,
life is beautiful
the other twelve syllables
are just not needed
Poem Details | by
Rodrigues, Kim |
Categories:
funny, work,
when I spilled a full vat of maple syrup - more pancake…more butter
Poem Details | by
ALLISON, JAN |
Categories:
confusion, humorous, internet,
I googled "AI" ... found notes on Artificial Insemination!!!
Poem Details | by
Bellevue, Belle |
Categories:
dog, humor,
There was to be a grand barking contest
To find the dog that barked loud and longest
A man came on his scooter
Farting loud as a trouper
And said he couldn’t tell a b from an f.
Poem Details | by
Bellevue, Belle |
Categories:
bird, humorous,
I had a tasty ****-a-doodle stew
Now I crow at dawn as cockerels do
I pulled a sweet hen
And now and again
We dine on an omelette made for two.
Poem Details | by
Schatz, Robert |
Categories:
child, funny, god,
One time when I was in nursey school, Miss Shanahan had everyone sit in a circle and one-by-one say what we wanted to be when we grow up.
It was what you’d expect…
Doctor
Firefighter
Astro naught
Truck driver
Race car driver
Veterinarian
Police officer
Movie star
Baseball player
Actress
Princess
Detective
Engineer…and the like
Then it was my turn:
“What do you want to be when you grow up Bobby?”
I thought about it a minute, and said
“God.”
That threw her for a loop.
There was no braggadocio involved.
No narcissism, no conceit, no misplaced pride
I didn’t think I had a shot at it or anything.
Just seemed to me that it would be the top job.
Can’t blame me.
Poem Details | by
Sarvida, Hugo |
Categories:
faith, humor, introspection, perspective,
The clang of the bell
Bringing spiel to my ear,
Funny thing 'bout faith.
Poem Details | by
Andresen, Anne-Lise |
Categories:
dark, gothic, humor,
Vivid illustrations
Velvet draped black long cape
Vibration from bat wings
Veins cracked by his sharp teeth
Violets blue - not red
Virgin anemia
Vegetable soup, no thanks
All Funny Poems