Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: bible, giggle, jewish, marriage, relationship,

Which Way Did Moses Go

  The verse says at age 120 'Moses went'
    but didn't mention where he was going

  Some say to Heaven he was sent
    yet many Rabbis profess not knowing

  Though I'm neither Rabbi nor scholar
    I'll bet you ten bucks to a dollar

  That '24/7 with G-d' gave old Grandpa psychosis 
    ~ so he moved right back in with Grandma Moses




   __________________________________
   Deuteronomy 31:1 -- 'And Moses went,
   and he spoke the following words to all
   Israel.' (Translated from Hebrew by 
   chabad.org)

Poem Details | by Leffanta, Rico |
Categories: humor,

Heaven 2022

As soon as God lifted the veil
An angel appeared beyond pale
So bright lily white
My toes curled in fright
And even worse, she was a male!


Poem Details | by Fowler, Linda Alice |
Categories: funny, giggle, humorous, scary,

Chupacabra

Chupacabra came in the night
It gave everyone great fright
	Jack shouted a loud "Boo!”
	Chupacabra withdrew
and hid in shadow out of sight.

Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: humor, jealousy, journey,

A Common Misconception about Inchworms

     The inchworm's in no hurry
        his vision's perhaps blurry

     A journey of five meters
        in ten hours, a world-beater
 
     I'd like to go on record
        to report they don't feel hectored

     But per a reliable source
        they envy snails, of course

Poem Details | by Logerie, Hebert |
Categories: deep, dream, fantasy, funny love, health, pain, war,

Where Are

Where are
You?
You must be at war
Again with yourself
You
Poor elf.

How is
Your health?
Please
Wealth
Is not important
When you’re so sick
So insignificant
Next to the creek
Don’t be a freak
Be wise and compliant.

Money is not
What you think it is
Being a nut
Is not a way to ease
The pain and suffering
Keep on dreaming
And mesmerizing
About another ring.

Where are
You?
Still at war
Sitting in the pew?

Copyright © October 2002, Hébert Logerie, All rights reserved
Hébert Logerie is the author of several collections of poetry.



Poem Details | by Baker, Bill |
Categories: fun, games, humor, math,

Doubling Numbers

two, four, eight, and more
sixteen, thirty-two, sixty-four
doubling, doubling
troubling, troubling

keep on going at least four more
you’ll find yourself at a thousand twenty-four
doubling, doubling
troubling, troubling

what if we go another four more
sixteen thousand three eighty-four
doubling, doubling
troubling, troubling

time to stop, just four more
two hundred sixty-two thousand one hundred forty-four
I’ll stop now, don’t want to bore
all have even numbers as their core


Poem Details | by Slaughter, Jim |
Categories: animal, humor,

Critterature: The Crocodile or Who's Afraid of Louis Vuitton

Don't be fooled by the smile of a crocodile
Who appears to be happy to meet you.
For though his grin is beguiling,
In his head he's compiling
Various ways he is planning to eat you.
A croc's disposition is hard to predict,
It's quixotic and largely a moot case.
The main thing he most often worries about,
And what keeps him for poachers upon the lookout,
Is becoming a handbag or suitcase.

Poem Details | by davis, robin |
Categories: age, funny, old,

My first limerick

Getting old is really tough
This daily pain gets very rough
Creeks and crackles when I bend
My body is trying to send
A message its had enough

Poem Details | by Crocker, Norman |
Categories: animal, humorous,

Vandalism

Wanted
for vandalism
Peter Rabbit

Poem Details | by Rodrigues, Kim |
Categories: humor,

eerie

‘ere he goes shaking hands
nobody’s there…nobody’s there
‘ere he goes pumping air
‘owever, if’n it is the right season
it’d be better to look a bit closer
to err in this…to best believe
‘ere he goes a-ghosting

9/30/2022

Poem Details | by Showalter Swift, Ingrid |
Categories: anger, food, hilarious, paradise,

Hell at The Paradise Pizza Shoppe

All hell broke loose,  when Jerry ran into John at the Paradise Pizza Shoppe

Poem Details | by Leffanta, Rico |
Categories: humor,

Spring Prang

She knew the moment he kissed her
That he could be the "Right" Mister
She needed a wrench
Because he was French
And Marmite greased his tongue-twister

Poem Details | by Crocker, Norman |
Categories: dog, humor,

Sleep

all quiet
on the western front
dogs asleep

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Insightful Lady



Did you hear about the lady who dressed
to appeal to men’s libidinous interests?
Most men, she said, prefer the unknown
for things lose their adventure when known.
and most men with blind hands rarely complain
discovering new, unexplored terrain. 
The majority I’ve ever met prefer it that way,
they see it as an adventurous feel day.
 

Poem Details | by vionet, Anais |
Categories: humor, school, student, teen,

I posted a new short story: trends

I latest piece is too long the poem section - so it's in "Short Stories." 

It's called "trends." I could shorten it - but why? *shrug* 

Here's the link: 

https://www.poetrysoup.com/short_stories/trends_10745 

I hope you like it!

Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: humor, hyperbole, language,

Pronoun Keep-away

  I don't know about ZOU
    but ZE'VE had it up to here
  with this pseudo-science sham

  So, as of today
    When 'What's ZOUR pronoun?' ZEY say
       Pronoun Keep-away ZE shall play

Poem Details | by Leffanta, Rico |
Categories: humor,

A Little Prick

The doctor says I need a shot
For something that I have not got
The nurse takes aim
As if to maim
And I should tell them, "Thanks a lot!"?

Poem Details | by DiMino, Joe |
Categories: christian, faith, humorous, love, meaningful, truth, wisdom,

Never Doubting Love

Life is for the living
giving it our best

and sometimes less is
better: a mouthful, a
tree not fell, an extra 
wife/husband

but hearts should give
their all, never doubting
tributaries of love

though often ponds on earth

are oceans up above

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Wheeler Dealer


Said the inventor of the wheel
after much talk and extolling:
Look, I may sound like a square,
but I intend to get this thing rolling.


Poem Details | by Villalon, Clifford |
Categories: hilarious,

Larry, Moe and Curly

Helter-skelter, upper-downer, 
bigger smaller, richer poorer
Bitter sweeter, kinder meaner
Sifter opener, thicker thinner.

Meek or dumb, pinky and thumb
Top or bottom, height and fathom.
Head or toe, friend and foe
Day or night, left and right.

Larry scoops Moe, Moe swoops Curly
Curly chunks Larry, Larry yanks Moe.

Poem Details | by Blake, John |
Categories: analogy, funny, hilarious, imagery, journey, perspective, wisdom,

Bicycle Poem - 2

A wobble waiting in the shed
A joke cracked by Victorian comedians
A test of youthful instability
A trial by tarmac

An unyielding seat with changing views
A wetter way of travelling through rain
A soundless nemesis for pensioners
A tin-tack gathering machine

A complexity in ambulation
A tool used by the mad or desperate
A ticking mockery of balance
A frame for shaming the unfit

A creaking snail on hills
A public declaration of pretence or poverty
An undignified arrival and
A bait for thieves

Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: giggle, silly,

T-Shirt Dirt

  Saw a T-shirt
    on the backside writ
  'Fart Now Loading'

  Not enough space
    to write
      'Exploding'

Poem Details | by Leffanta, Rico |
Categories: humor,

Cobblers

A lady who was feeling blue
Compared her life to an old shoe
Although she fit
Her love had split
So she had to make do with two

Poem Details | by Ireland, Terry |
Categories: humor,

Puzzle


How much Social Distancing
Can there really have been
If the Birth Rate rose
During Covid nineteen?

Poem Details | by Messina, Charles |
Categories: cat, humor,

Merlin The Magic Cat

Merlin, the magic cat 
Now old...and a little fat 
He would "Meow" or chitter-chat 
When time to use his old black hat 

"Meow, meow- Meow, meow" 
He does his tricks...I don't know how 
Wow, wow, wow- Wow, wow, wow 
His audiences- they stand and bow 

Merlin the cat, Merlin the cat 
He made disappear...an old white rat 
He's a little fatter, when you see him now 
'Cause the old white rat- well, was his chow 


Merlin The Magic Cat Poetry Contest 
Sponsor: Mystic Rose Rose 
9/28/2022


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