Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by Vaso, Arthur |
Categories: animal, hilarious,

Fat Mouse

Fat Mouse

He has scored three
me still none
He is fat
I, running out of cheese
a little critter he is
outsmarting my genius
this house
not big enough
for the both of us
the battle is on
the outcome
unknown

Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: fun, humorous, light, moon, nonsense, sky, stars,

Hooked On The Moon

the brightest toe nail clipping
in the sky the moon two points
one hook where by a dangling
dangler of collar and tie swung
a swinging caught he estranged
and left forgottenly o deranged
for he deranged and hanging 
there saw stars drift past and
faces wear the smirk n smook
of laughtrous jeer that when
finally loose broke out a cheer





Poem Details | by Gadbois, Charles |
Categories: humor,

Spicy Gordita

Spicy Gordita
We love Mexican food.
With Tabasco.
What about spicy gorditas?
Show them what you're made of.
Gorditas means corn cakes.
Throw in the enchiladas to bake.
I love cinnamon sopapillas.
Tonight we are having a fiesta.
Tequila with lime.
Can you walk a straight line?
I’m not sure about corn cakes.
We need something stronger than paper plates.
What about fish tacos?
After a drink, go down below.
Have a super burrito.
Beans make you toot.
Just have everything spicy.
Have some guacamole on the side.
You could turn into a chimichanga.
With some quesadillas.
What is your taco name?
Mine is spicy corn cakes.

Poem Details | by Vionet, Anais |
Categories: fun, humor, nice, sensual, simple, smile,

only sleeping

I’m sleeping in
just call me out
it’s the simplest kind of comfort
I do it for me
there’s a softness and care
my, that got so wholesome

I know, I should embrace hardship
adversity builds resilience
it’s darkness that reveals the stars
that last one sounds too good to be original
but I’m not researching it
haven’t you been reading?

I’m sleeping in fugaciously
and metaphorically.
If you’re in the water
it’s good to swim
otherwise
you could be writing.
.
.
Songs for this:
Sleeping In by The Radio Dept.
Save the Phenomenon by Fievel Is Glauque

Poem Details | by Kendrick, Sara |
Categories: humor,

clinging

clinging three beggar-lice seeds.... housecoat


Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: fun, funny, humor, humorous, light, nonsense, word play,

Funny Business

Business 
just normal

Busy nurse
with dayful

Buzzy noise
gets headful

Bossy niece
gives earful

Bees knees
surely bestful

Boozy Ness
drinks Lochful

Business
as usual




Poem Details | by Lawless, John |
Categories: humor, men, sexy,

***** beach

They sit on the beach acting the loner
She slowly walks by wearing nothing but toner
With a flick of the hair
And a jolly good pair
She leaves ‘em, heads in the sand, hiding a *****

Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: animal, fish, fun, humorous, nonsense, ocean, sea,

See See Under The Sea

the seahorses grazed in a field undersea 
the jellyfish wobbled at the party

the starfish in their constellations went
the clams secretive tight lipped and silent 

the hammerhead sharks did the DIY
the clown fish entertained as they swam by

the plankton ruled undersea in their gangs
the octopuses spent too long shaking hands

the crabs on the side their day they spent
the lobsters approached in a pincer movement

the sea urchins loitered dishevelled and poor
while the oysters enjoyed everything and all




Poem Details | by Vaso, Arthur |
Categories: humorous,

Orange Blockhead

Traffic cones here
traffic cones there
in Montreal
traffic cones are everywhere

Blocked
unblocked
Blocked
unblocked
Blocked
unblocked
Blocked 
unblocked
Blogged
unBlogged

Poem Details | by Pathak, Aniruddha |
Categories: dream, humor,

Vigour and vim our dream

You just come all prim to my dream,
What’s false real I’ve to deem-- our dream.

Pray, how long fictitious can go?
Long as it may so seem-- our dream.

It’s too much, any more to bear,
To bottom’s gone from brim our dream.

He that can’t help me rise like cream, 
What’s grim seems fun to him-- our dream.

No, work ‘tis of a twosome team
To make vigour and vim our dream.
_______________________ 
Ghazal |21.10.2024|dream, humour

Poet’s note: This is a light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek ghazal that takes ‘our dream’ as its radif or refrain. Its qafia also rhymes with radif.  The whole ghazal is on the same theme, i.e., dream. The pattern followed is AA/BA/CA/DA/EA. 

Poem Details | by Slaughter, Jim |
Categories: humor,

Come Fill The Cup

Possible TV advertising for a certain kind of "donation" center…
or for guys who might be looking for "gig" employment…with apologies, dear readers...this one's a bit "naughty".

If your bills are getting to you,
The IRS is trying to screw you,
Jobs are few and far between,
And you need to make some green,
You've already sold your hair,
And you've no more blood to spare,
Come where a wank
Will put cash in the bank.

Poem Details | by Vionet, Anais |
Categories: confusion, crazy, culture, emotions, happiness, humor, political,

the END

Why do the texts keep on coming?
Why does my phone have to chirp?
Don’t they know,
the election is over..
It ended when I cast my vote.
.
.
Songs for this:
Bring Me to Silence by Fievel Is Glauque
The End Of The World by Skeeter Davis

Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: crazy, fun, humorous, imagery, light, moon, nonsense,

A Dog And A Frog On A Spoon

a dog and a frog
who stood on a spoon
and went round the town
in their dressing gown

said the dog to the frog
oh lets spoon to the moon
so they jumped up and down
and the spoon left the ground

look look oh look at the moon
how truly exciting said the dog
spoon spoon we went on a spoon
would you believe it said the frog

to the moon to the moon
travelled the dog and the frog
yes they went on a spoon
and thus ends this short epilogue




Poem Details | by Smith, Sam |
Categories: appreciation, humorous, kid, youth,

The three boys

Three boys thought they had seen the ghosts
resisting the urge to yell roasts
posing as known heroes
made ghosts to be zeros
Not knowing it was seven toasts

Syllable per line: 8 8 8 6 6 8

Poem Details | by Lawless, John |
Categories: fun, humor,

NO REFUNDS

Their vacation ruined, Disneyland closed, Minnie was having a bad "ear" day.

Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: adventure, fantasy, fun, funny, humorous, nonsense, sea,

Old Woodbeard

argh 
the wooden pirate
with a real leg
‘pon his left shoulder
not a parrot but a peg

argh
his ship inverted
sailed ‘neath the wave
and in his treasure chest
was a craggy cave

argh
he roared with rum
empty barrels were full
his flag was white
black bones and skull

argh
the flag though ripped
caught on his hook
but not for a hand
‘twas ‘stead of a foot

argh
he roamed the undersea
looking for loot
but oh all the bubbles
from a whale in a boot

argh
the old salt
was seawardly feared
for everyone knew
and heard of Woodbeard

argh
the submariner pirate
of raid and of plunder
sprang up on those
and pulled them all under




Poem Details | by Culverhouse, Clive |
Categories: animal, fun, humorous, meaningful, people, pets, wisdom,

What Is That You Speak Of

what is this moo you speak of
could it be
upon field and grass
beauty of greenery
in summer’s wain alas

what is this woof you speak of
could it be
upon the catch of a ball
wide eyed a wag
from a masterly call

what is this oink you speak of
could it be
upon the slop in one’s trough
a roll in some mud
then off for a scoff

what is this meow you speak of
could it be
upon tuna for tea
a curl by the fire
and a brush on her knee

what are these sounds you speak of
could it be
you’re all laughing and joking
look at the humans
and the mess they are making





Poem Details | by Haight, Sandra |
Categories: crazy, halloween, humor,

Trick Or Treat - Not

They yelled “Trick or Treat” to the man who answered them with his new plan! “This treat's more fun, right?” Then stunned them with fright when he let loose bats from a can!

Poem Details | by Sms, Ryan |
Categories: giggle, life,

They

They wiggle, wiggle
and jiggle,jiggle.
They walk, walk
and they talk,talk.
They rush, rush
to do the hush, hush.
They weep,weep
to find the sleep, sleep.
They try, try
to stay dry, dry.
They fight, fight
for their right, right.
They cheer, cheer
when they drink the beer, beer. 

Poem Details | by Read, John |
Categories: humor,

Picture prompt

There were three boys at a Halloween do 
Behaving badly all night they were too 
They blew their peashooters 
At each passing hooter 
As they went skipping off to the loo.

Poem Details | by Read, John |
Categories: humor,

Lady from the Isle of man

A young lady from the Isle of man 
Writes limericks fresh from the pan
Queen of poetry Soup 
She shares her poop 
Watching the s..t hit the fan.


Your  Blogs. 

Dear Jan, place your Blog in the fire 
Sit back and watch it burn. 
You might attract one or two snowflakes 
But that is of little concern. 

Stay calm, stay cool, say nothing 
Let them have their say. 
For in the end like all snowflakes 
They'll gradually just melt away.

Poem Details | by Bell, Paul |
Categories: appreciation, humorous, woman,

The Calling

She chapped my door
Said she was a whore
She was in the area
Offering discounts and more
I was a bit taken aback
Usually it was double glazing, broadband and that
Or Jehovah's witnesses
Into the night
She even took cards
Explained the APR
Extras and all
S&M on a Saturday night
Would I like a call
I must admit
Impressed I was
She was a woman with a cause
Sadly, the good lady screamed
Who’s at the door
I told her a whore
Bloody Jehovah's she swore

Poem Details | by Gwaltney Bales, Ellen |
Categories: 12th grade, day, friend, funny, humorous, weather, wind,

A Limerick

There once was a lady from Indy
Who comes out of her house when it’s windy
She doesn’t walk fast
Though her friends are aghast
That her petticoats look very trendy

Poem Details | by Vaso, Arthur |
Categories: character, humor,

Wakey Wakey

Everyone sees
except the clown
eternal illusions
edged into oblivion
exposed
even old ladies laugh now and know
earmark of fool
ego bigger than a hallmark brain
egotistical mind ejaculated into space
eccentricity of ai caught red handed
embodiment of fraud
emotionless thief who steals the spotlight
empathy a pill he will never swallow
embezzling attention anyway he can
enchanted realms, he has been forbidden
encroaching on poetic graveyards, a sin
ears that hear, eyes that see
escape this villain, run for sanity

Poem Details | by Pathak, Aniruddha |
Categories: humor, political, usa,

Oktober Fest in America

If Harris chooses to have beer,
They hoist a message more than mere,
It’s like October Fest
In November, no haste!
Sails rudderless poll boat,
Who knows how people vote?
Guesses gallop, go in top gear.
_____________________ 
Tongue-in-cheek |10.10.2024| humour, political 

Poet’s note: Kamala Harris in a media blitzkrieg on late night TV chooses to down a folksy beer to ‘send a masculine oriented message’ (in competition with Trump?). And poll analysts go in a top gear to derive its impact on Nov election results in US of America. So much focus, so much significance of that one can of beer!     



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