Humorous and funny Angst poems and/or funny poems about Angst. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Angst funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Angst Poems.
angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,
Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '
'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust!
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.
'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much,
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'!
Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.
I received an email today :
"Would you like to join
The Underpants Club"
A new underwear
directly at your door
once a month
(for only 20 bucks)
Did you say once a month?
My mother taught me
Replace after one use - without exception
In the old days
they had not heard of bacteria ...
but changed underpants
at least every other Saturday
When spring came
it was time for laundry
that took place outdoors,
at the creek or the water post
where there was plenty of clean water available
Fleas and lice are nasty
... and itches terribly
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Poem Of The Day: 01.03.2020
angst, humorous, lust,
With her very shapely thighs
And her nice firm bum
I can’t keep my eyes
Off my best mate’s mum
We could have fallen out
But we’re getting on fine
I’ve got my eyes on his mum
And he’s got his on mine
Ben’s sat in the corner
As our teacher called him bad
He’d pinched the teacher’s bottom
Which had made the teacher mad
The teacher should be flattered
And should not make Ben feel sad
But I’m a little worried
’Cause the teacher is my dad
Well, I stood up for Ben
It’s just his teenage angst
A trip to the head’s office
Was my only thanks
I stood outside the door
The sign just said ‘Headmaster’
Inside I heard my mother screaming
Faster baby, faster!
angst, feelings, humorous,
Jealousy is not the fear of losing
but the feeling that our position is threatened
As wet sand between your toes, unwanted
Sometimes jealousy turns into obsession
There are many wars, love your enemies ... never
We fight for love as a tender and small sparrow
Bitter taste, there is a fly in the soup
- Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Leo Larry Amadore
angst, culture, freedom, funny, introspection, judgement,
"You shall know the Truth, and the Truth
Shall make you free."
We wait for what will never happen;
the consequences of inaction
may overtake at any moment.
Vaguely felt suspicions foment,
feed uneasiness; words half-formed
hang in air, hover just out of reach,
didactic, but never really heard --
misunderstood, despised, ignored,
or ridiculed...One must not preach!
But harken back to days of yore:
attend, and hear repeated,
as before, and yet once more:
"What fools these mortals be!"
How perfectly descriptive -- of me!
angst, dog, guitar, humorous, people,
It never seems to amaze me
How stupid some people are
Whenever I am out
And take along my guitar.
''Is it a guitar'' people say
''No an ironing board''
I reply with dismay.
''Can you play it?''
''No I just carry it about for fun''
Even though it's a heavy one.
''Are they your dogs''
When out in town
''No'' I reply
''their someone else's
And I'm taking them back to get the ransomed money honey.''
After a while i's an annoyance and not that funny.
Peter Dome.copyright.2015. Oct.
You have disregarded instructions
Thus claiming improper deductions
Send money by mail
And IF you should fail
Your paycheck will suffer reductions...
“The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax” - Albert Einstein
Submitted for: John Freeman’s contest
angst, anxiety, art, friendship, humorous, imagery,
They love you
When you defend them
When you need a helping hand
Real ones are there in total silence
Called the silent ones
To massage the pain
Of a wounded soul
They were there long ago
They are there now in the snow
Never letting go
Praying for good cheer
Please me lord
Serve me one more beer
angst, animals, funny, pets, old, old,
At the risk of being called “rabble-rouser,”
I think poor old Barky Von Schnauzer,
should practice his aim,
his master to maim,
in the back end of his very best trousers!
My hero I would call dear old Barky,
if he could just muster the stealth of a sharky,
and covertly steer,
right straight for the rear,
of that great big old bag of malarkey!
I think I should send Barky a big four leaf clover,
so his bad luck would finally be over,
he could retire his fame,
move away, change his name,
to Bowser maybe Lassie or Rover!
Obviously I have been driven completely insane by that stupid t.v. commercial!
Happy St. Paddy's Day!
angst, funny, imagination, mystery, philosophy,
I had a dream
Where all my clothes
Were in my toilet bowl
Apparently this means that
I am drenched in emotions
Which need to be released
So I wrote
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
angst, confusion, depression, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, introspection, life, love, passion, people, philosophy, romance, social, sorry
not sure how she got here
only know she needs to leave
underneath the stranger
my arm numb; asleep,
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry
princess of night
exposed by light.
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess.
along with my will.
I swore never again;
the lie is half the thrill.
Oh, I am so angered, outraged and appalled
I think that I’m going bald
My dad had great hair
So I never really cared
But, to the hair club for men I am called
From my butt, they could extract some hair
Because I think I have so much to spare
But I cannot tell
Do you think it would smell?
Oh well I think, I’ll just leave it there
adventure, angst, confusion, funny, social,
Hello my friend,
Hope all is well
This is your bud,
'Ol tom bell
You might wish
To read this poem
"Bad Day at the Eyedoctors"
A true tom tale
And shows what a fool I be
So check it out,
And you'll see!
allegory, angst, funny, life,
I do not recall
The bravado with which I spoke
The titillating prose
Seduction’s prelude to a poke
You spoke of love
with a lust that I understand
your heart a bloom
your derriere met my hand
I pulled you closed
my eyes nearly met yours
your bosom winked
thank God I wore drawers
Do you not see
that my passions are pure
a burning in my loins
for which water has no cure
We gazed upon the heavens
I wrapped her in the moonlight
I looked at the time
my prayers faded into night
We danced till dawn
I had answered her romantic call
I whispered sweet somethings
Before her foot procured my fall
angst, humor, valentines day,
Walking on bleeding hearts like eggshell parts
My valentine broke Cupid’s angel wings
I don’t know what to believe when he brings
Ample heart-shaped boxes of Chocolate darts
We’ve been together since I don’t know when
He loves me he loves me not a gold ring
He comes home when he wants to, it’s his thing
Doesn’t like when I question where’s he been
Hopefully he’ll propose on bended knee
Expecting a dozen wild red roses
Or lay some myself where he decomposes
And his valentine, that’s me, will be free
angst, funny, on work and working, me, me,
(This is a fictional poem)
A 94 year old woman kicked my ###.
She beat the crap out of me and left me bleeding on the grass.
Every time I got up, she knocked me down again.
She beat me really hard and I sure as hell didn't win.
The fight started when she asked me to put out my cigar.
I told her that I'd shove it up her vagina and I guess I went too far.
When she got through beating me, I had lost most of my teeth.
Now people laugh at me and all I feel is grief.
angst, humanity, humor,
Sometimes stuff happens,
Sometimes caused by fears,
Sometimes by mistakes we make,
That put us in arrears.
No matter what caused it,
No matter who,
Pointing fingers won't help things,
Get better for you.
It won't help to argue,
And fuss and fight,
To lay blame on others,
Won't make things right.
We may lose some sleep,
And we may shed some tears,
But sometimes stuff happens,
And just seems to smear;
And all the precautions,
You take just don't matter,
'Cause sometimes stuff happens,
And just seems to splatter.
There was once a very popular site
that for years was doing everything right
but one day fell very sick
its heart almost stopped to tick
fact, that gave PoetrySoup, such a fright!
© Demetrios Trifiatis
22 July 2020
allah, angel, angst, confusion, dream, education, faith, freedom, god, happiness, health, heaven, history, holocaust, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, miracle, nature, on writing and words, pain, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religious, sad, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?
adventure, angst, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, education, faith, farewell, funny, humorous, imagination, introspection, lonely, loss, lost, memory, pain, parody, passion, people, places, retirement, sad, science fiction, sorrow, sorry, space, star, teacher, time, travel, tribute, visionary,
Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.
Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.
Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.
Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.
My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.
Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?
angst, change, childhood, confusion, depression, fear, feelings, children, kids, funny, growing up, home, homework, humor, inspiration, lonely, me, miss you, moving on, nature, pain, poetry, school, self, sorrow, stress, teen, time, writing, youth,
Like sick allergies,
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE
Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!
Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination !
allusion, angst, books, confusion, education, giggle,
Satan's hallucinations made him giggle,
Numbers and letters made to wiggle,
Satan arose one morning,
A day on Earth a'dawning,
Satan spake from far above,
Fist in his iron glove...
" I mix numbers and letters,
To make mathematics better,
Evermore there shalt be...
Yes, numbers and letters made to wiggle,
Satan's hallucinations made him giggle.
angst, funny, hilarious, humorous,
One of the biggest mystery's
Known to man that makes no sense to me
Is why when washing a pair of socks
You can only ever find one
The solution don't buy just two socks but three
One for the sock fairy and a pair for us
End of the mystery.
Case closed mystery solved.
angst, brother, children, clothes, family, funny, school,
(and long brown stockings)
I detest these stockings,
they're coarse, brown and ugly.
I hate the garters more;
elastic circles that cut off
circulation and fail to halt
the laddering down my skinny legs.
If only . . . I picture myself
in warm jeans and no teasing
from Tommy Rogers.
I put the garters to better use,
roll the repulsive stockings
down around my ankles.
"Who gave you
jointed toothpicks for legs?"
I lost it.
Now, Tommy has a black eye
and my nose is in the corner.