Funny Poems About Anxiety or Anxiety Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Anxiety poems and/or funny poems about Anxiety. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Anxiety funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Anxiety Poems.

Poem Details | by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: angst, anxiety, art, friendship, humorous, imagery,


They love you
When you defend them
They run
When you need a helping hand

Real ones are there in total silence
Called the silent ones
To massage the pain
Of a wounded soul
They were there long ago
They are there now in the snow
Holding hands
Never letting go

Wiping tears
Striking fears
Praying for good cheer
Please me lord
Serve me one more beer

Poem Details | by Cheryl Hoffman |
Categories: anxiety, death, humor, money,

Death and Taxes

Now that I'm dead I can finally relax,
worry free of April 15th and filing my income tax.


Poem Details | by David Brown |
Categories: anxiety, dark, depression, humor, image,


 on a 

Poem Details | by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: anxiety, funny, hilarious, humor, leadership, perspective,

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Poem Details | by Michael Wise |
Categories: anxiety, conflict, humor,

The Valley of Indecision

Lost in the valley of indecision
Forever caught between here and there
My mind is divided, my soul is torn
And monstrous phantoms are everywhere

There's neither light, nor is there darkness
Here in this barren oasis of grey
Trapped somewhere in between questions and answers
Groping and grasping to find my way

I'll lose my mind if I go on performing
This balancing act between madness and death
A stand is needed for yea or for nay
Or else very soon I may draw my last breath

Deciding that I cannot make a decision
Embracing the madness instead of this yoke
The phantoms encroaching, I suddenly jumped up
And out of this horrible nightmare I woke

© Mike Wise

Poem Details | by Aby M'Baye |
Categories: africa, anxiety, desire, growth, humor, love, remember,

Feel Free

Make as you feel it 
In the sense of your feel
Without forgetting sense

Fais comme tu le sens 
Dans le sens de tes sens 
Sans oublier le sens 

Aby M.

Poem Details | by Romeo Naces |
Categories: age, analogy, anxiety, culture, funny love, humor,

Dangling Contemplation

What's a necktie 
dangling for?

     Too stiff, too thin 
     to be scarf, a bib 
     or an apron,

Too smooth to be 
a hankie,

     too short to be 
     a suicide noose
     to contemplate on!

Poem Details | by James Edward Lee Sr. |
Categories: adventure, anxiety, caregiving, engagement, funny love, grandmother, grandson,

Affected Art Baby Sitter-

Flickered fingers; Can't dial ringers; Telephone calls; Babies cry and crawls; what do you do? what do you do? When their diapers fall?...
6/8/20 written words by James Edward Lee Sr.©2020

Poem Details | by B. Andrew Kelly |
Categories: allegory, anxiety, funny, life, silly, surreal,

Ballad for the Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube-Man

air rockets skyward
uppercutting inside
plastic neon flesh
contorting at inhuman angles
what does my body language spell?

ankles anchored into the Earth
to stay grounded as the wave
of time and space crashes
a flood of stagnant flux

there is a symphony of bones
snapping and cracking
in twisted orchestrations
the act of existing for me
is a resilient demonstration

Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: anxiety, bereavement, courage, fear, humor, loneliness, nature,

Is Humanity That Bad

"Is humanity that bad?" pondered the lighthouse keeper, frightened with the sea

Written March 27th, 2016
For the See or Feel Contest Hosted by Poet Destroyer

Placed 2nd

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: age, anxiety, celebrity, culture, giggle, growing up, hyperbole,

Adolescent Lamentations

Headline: "Bieber jailed."
And you tell me there's a God?
I won't sleep. Will you?

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: anxiety, funny, sick,

Oh Me, Oh My

Oh me! Oh my!
I think I'm going to die!
I bumped my head,
I'll soon be dead!
Oh me, oh me, oh my!

Oh dear! Oh dear!
I know my end is near!
I coughed, I sneezed,
and then I wheezed!
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

What's that you say?
I'm going to be okay?
You haven't heard
a single word.
I'm at death's door today!

(This is a parody of someone I know who gets overly dramatic
when she doesn't feel well)

Poem Details | by Peter Lewis Holmes |
Categories: anxiety, funny, humorous,

An Intimate Itch

A certain itch it’s like no other,
descending as Vesuvious burning 
tyre, a nuee ardente of fire

Manouver all you will, to no
sweet avail; it’s your hand
that’s needed, no matter what 
audience papers the house	

Yes, a magazine or folded coat
can often shield the work required,  
but please, no sighs or muted 
cries desired

Then good performance must
transpire, to shift the well-placed 
hand from view

And when the fire is doused, as such, 
and all one’s thoughts removed from 	

Reflect on how you saved the day,
with folded coat on nuts in May

Poem Details | by Michael Wegman |
Categories: anxiety, appreciation, conflict, courage, culture, dedication, funny,

Sour Grapes

The teen’s face beamed with pride in his new car,
But Bestie exploded in jealous rage.
His reluctant congrats, a lame sidebar;
“I’d simply rather walk”— framed his outrage.

On Friday she failed the entrance exam,
Going to college, now holds no desire,
Higher education—a real flimflam,
she declared, all she’d felt now a fool’s pyre.

Excuses shirk blame—we can all decry,
Winning is fun, but losing kills yearning;
Life isn’t perfect—things do go awry,
But disparagement isn't good learning!

Be strong and just—suck it up when you lose.
Raisins are just sour grapes—with a bruise.

August 19, 2018

Poem Details | by Jaquay Atkins |
Categories: addiction, anniversary, anxiety, art, baby, beautiful, beauty, blessing, boyfriend, class, confidence, conflict, desire, destiny, devotion, education, environment, faith, fantasy, fate, feelings, for her, fun, funny love, future, giggle, girlfriend, happiness, heart, heaven, life, light, loneliness, lonely, lost, lust, magic, strength, stress, sweet love, symbolism,

I Love You

Often, I have uttered these words to myself
Your feminity has entranced my manhood
My vision is focused on your subject matter 
A quick study of a woman's psychology 
I feel you with my mind, and touch you with my eyes
Senses are heightened in your very presence 
Soon, I will utter the ultimate words of encouragement 
Constant admiration for your hidden strengths 
Instant chemistry between us has changed our biology 
Soon, I will hold you tight and recite the following;
Baby, I love you

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: allusion, anxiety, dedication, humorous, inspiration, passion, psychological,

My Plan

This Is My Plan

Now that things are quiet
Heavy hitters hanging low
It's time to post my bestest poems
And let my talent show

I see Deb, Lin and Andrea 
Are keeping kinda still
So,I might make it up that list
Where I can show my skill

My eye is on those top three spots
But, before I reach my goal
I'll have to go through Ninty-seven
Poets in a row

But seeing no one, is around
I don't know how I'll miss
To get my poem on the Top
Of The Hundred All-Time List

Poem Details | by Diane Lefebvre |
Categories: anxiety, death, evil, grave, humor,

Fearful Things

I walked on by a graveyard, very late, alone one night.
No ghosts sprung from their moldy graves: no evil ghoulish sights.

It seemed no vampires lurked about, to sip my blood like wine.
And any hulking werewolves must have previously dined.

I watched in vain for zombies, with their gruesome, bloody stares.
But they seemed to be as plentiful, as wayward teddy bears.

Yet, I would duck behind a tree, on guard quite through and through,
At every car that passed me by . . transporting who knows who?

While I recalled what mother said, no doubt with some misgiving:
It’s not the dead you have to fear . . but watch out for the living!

© 2015 Diane Lefebvre

Poem Details | by Solomon Ochwo-Oburu |
Categories: anxiety, beauty, emotions, first love, funny love, girlfriend, imagery,

Your Sweet Face

Eva’s daughter, listen
Remove the blanket
Of dark and angry clouds 
That covers your sweet face
Let the sun shine on your face
And let Adam’s handsome son
Harvest your delicious smiles
From your sweet face
That kills, kills the souls
Of many
With sweetness
And wild imagination

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: anxiety, humor, psychological, stress,

Newsing and Boozing

There's a virus going around
And people getting sick
Some are even dying 
From a germ, that they can't kick

There's an asteroid, it's flying
on it's undetected path
Aiming for the earth
To just unleash its wrath

There's a million things they tell you,
design to cause you fear
So, just relax and have another beer

There are terrorist, they say, came home to roost  
Others over seas are busy buying Nukes
The end of the world, could be happening today
If it isn't now, it's likely on it's way

There's a million things they tell you,
design to cause you fear 
So, just relax and have another beer

Poem Details | by Katherine Braithwaite |
Categories: anxiety, art, humor, humorous, hyperbole,

The Black Cat

The sky  is stark, the air is cool and still
The black cat’s  run, the birds unfold all day
I sit  down here and with my totty pray
Ye cast o’ foolish thoughts, you raped my will.
We’ve  each enraged the bureaucratic mill.
Oh frigid purse, I never meant to pay!
The sky ‘s  a-spark, the air is warm and shrill
The saturnine demoted  knelled their way
With this feathered pounce, my sample quill,
I  cite the cheque and date it for next May.
Oh, tit for cat, the tiger’s  bed ‘s astray.
Yer  life is settled by  a  harlot’s will
The sky ‘s a shark, the air is sharper still.

Poem Details | by David Smith |
Categories: anxiety, beautiful, education, father daughter, growing up, horror, humor,

Hopes For My Daughters

I have two daughters beautiful and smart,
I knew that from the start.

Equality with men
I know is important to them.

I just hope they are not in a hurry
To marry.

As I don't know many men who can be 
Right 50 percent of the time like me.

And if they by chance marry some swine,
Will they have to share their jail time.

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: anxiety, england, flying, funny, humor, humorous, london,

Flying Dutchman

once a pilot from london

at takeoff chewed an onion

but when he would speak

the flight crews would freak

now he just drinks a bourbon.

Poem Details | by Jill Spagnola |
Categories: anxiety, children, kids, funny, humorous,

Funny Kids, Daze

Kids Funny (Senryu – Style) Daze

Waking state affects my day
Riding my bike to the rack`
I lock it safely at school

Sit with my clique
Tummy does a flip
Study Hall, yay a rest for my head

I look down clutching my teddy bear
Drooling on my desk in only my underwear!

Morning alarm buzzes~

									Sunshine Williams

Team PoetrySoup

Funny Kids Poem contest


Poem Details | by Gary Bovett |
Categories: humorous,

Performance Anxiety

I may be no linguistic superstar
 Or bachelor,master, doctor of languages
 But i'll have you know
 I've performed my works on many occasions
 To cats, dogs, trees and miscellaneous flora
 All of whom showed quiet
 And genuine interest 
In what I had to say
I have shouted rhymes and
 At the top of my voice
 To the inside of my house
 While every piece of furniture
 Sat motionless in awe
 Rehearsed countless conversations
 While riding bicycle
 Through quiet spectacular landscapes
 Magnificent mountains
 Stood high in silence
 Listening to every word
 Offering quiet encouragement

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: adventure, allusion, anxiety, humor, money, nonsense, visionary,

***** Rich

Going To Market

I'm joining up with Trade King
Cause I'm sick of being poor
I'm sure I'll make a fortune with some luck

Then I won't have to worry
When that doe comes rolling in
And have more, than these two lousy bucks

Of course I'll need some cash
If I'm going to invest
So, it might take some time, to get rich

So, for now I'll take my two bucks 
And bet it on a nag
Or down at the dog track, on a *****