Humorous and funny Bad poems and/or funny poems about Bad. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Bad funny poems!
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
funny
Bad News
When the Doctors exam was through
he said I got good news and bad news its true
You've chosen the worst
to hear about first
they're gonna name this disease after you!
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
friend, funny,
And She's Not Bad Lookin Either
Her Soup name we know as PD
Her REAL name is Linda you see
And Irma as well
Trevino! I yell
From my rooftop...Can’t hear me? (Poor me)
For a very special and loyal friend...
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
art, hilarious, humor, humorous, perspective, philosophy,
I Am a Very Bad Poet
So I have been told
by a drunk
does he own a pair of shoes?
has he ever walked in another's?
mean and grouchy
unkind to falling leaves
what dreams were stolen
was he the thief or victim robbed?
or does whiskey make him dumb?
and numb
narrow is the hateful mind
who sold his dignity
a silver coin for naught
Scrooge counting compliments like gold ingots
stealing orphans smiles, scotch with spite
the elevator though goes only down
fury and fires and poetic justices
he will burn in hell
listening forever to the angels voices
reciting for eternity
my
very bad poetry
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, poetry,
From Bad To Verse
Jan doesn't write iambic pentameter
So please don't condescend and mock her
We have different styles
I bring laughter and smiles
Please remember Jan is just an amateur!
30th April 2015
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
christmas, holiday, horror, humor,
Santa's Bad Day
The elves filled Santa's sack with toys
For all the good little girls and boys
When he lifted it up he used his back
Instead of his legs and he tore his sack
An elf gave a band-aid to Santa, their proctor
Santa said, "No, I need to go to a doctor"
But sadly a doctor he would do without
There was no time, so he started his route
He stood up in the sleigh, his jewels in a brace
Yelling, "OW, Merry Christmas!", all over the place!
Written by
Mark Koplin
Categories:
humor,
Bad Stew - Warning: Explicit Poo Content
I have the outhouse in view
I had grandma’s squirrel stew
Dessert was a tart
I will not dare fart
I will sit in my own pew
*in honor of Jan's Birthday tomorrow*
Written by
Lycia Harding
Categories:
bird, cat, humorous, tree,
Bad Kitty - Birdie's
He listened for them in the wood
as daylight blossomed, poised to prowl
For breakfast, breast meat sounded good
and Cat could feel his stomach growl
Soon, struck by a cacophany
of cheeps and chirps, of coos and caws,
Cat snuck up on them, tree by tree
and hushed each cluck with teeth and claws
They paid no mind, so were plucked clean
from every nook where they would sing
but had they looked, they might have seen
him right behind them and took wing!
When Cat had eaten every bird,
he retched a ball of beaks and feet,
spat out one final bone and purred,
outstretched atop the spongey peet...
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
humor, retirement,
all good and some bad things come to an end
Retirement offers things new
I'm shouting a hip-hip yahoo
If what you’re feeling
Comes from a glass ceiling
Stop squealing and just say I'm through!
Retirement offers a lift
With no bad-*** boss who gets miffed
Since freedom will ring
The songs that I’ll sing
Sound more like those by Taylor Swift
Written by
Janet Grace
Categories:
animal, cat, happiness, humorous,
Bad News Kittens
Kittens caper
Crinkle paper
To ruin the news
Wad it up
Bat and cuff
Bite and chew
Strike with claws
Shred with jaws
Rip to smithereens
No newspaper news
Today will be seen
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
career, funny,
Bad Breath Blues - the Boss Is Always Right
You’ve forgotten to floss, I think
(My nose frets and frowns as I shrink)
Purchase mints by the bag!
Brush your tongue til you gag!
(My eyes water up at the stink)
"Yes sir, I am really quite fine!
"Allergies, you know," is my line
"No sir, wasn't crying!"
(My brain is just frying)
"Do lunch? Why, the pleasure is mine!"
*Unfortunately, this is a somewhat exaggerated version of a true story...
Written by
Drjim Martin
Categories:
funny,
Bad Day For a Bike Ride
Bad Day for a Bike Ride
Dr. James E. Martin
©May, 2013
He rode his bike up the hill,
Amazed that he could do it still.
On the way down,
A surprise he found,
He experienced an unexpected spill.
Written by
Timothy Hicks
Categories:
anxiety, bereavement, courage, fear, humor, loneliness, nature,
Is Humanity That Bad
"Is humanity that bad?" pondered the lighthouse keeper, frightened with the sea
Written March 27th, 2016
For the See or Feel Contest Hosted by Poet Destroyer
Placed 2nd
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
hair, humor,
Bad Hair Day
Today my hair had a mind of its own,
being in the static electricity zone,
put in some mousse,
still looked uncouth,
walking around like an Alfalfa clone.
11-17-16
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
dog, humorous,
Bad Dog
Hark! Hark! The pesky dog doth bark,
And deposits indiscretions in the park!
Perhaps doggie wouldn't be such a klutz,
If masters would learn to mind their mutts!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
Using a ton of poetic license, this write is based on an old nursery rhyme!
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
animals, funny
A Bad Hare Day
Aesop writes about an unlikely pair
A race betwixt a turtle and a hare
While the hare fiddled around
The wily turtle gained ground
Resulting in the hare losing the dare
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
funny
A Bad Hair Day
Purple spikes pointing toward the sky
Do you suppose he woke that way?
Can anyone tell me the reason why
He'd strive to have " A Bad Hair Day'?
Written by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Categories:
funny, holidayhalloween,
Bad Ghoulish Goblin
There once was a bad ghoulish goblin.
Thump, thump on a crutch he was hobblin’.
It was Halloween night.
He dared to give a fright.
But he fell to the ground; he was wobblin’.
© November 4, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen
Written by
Laura Leiser
Categories:
funny,
Bad Date Night
Up late
Blind date
Old car
Sub par
We ate
Rare steak
He had
Bad gas
His pad
So sad
No clue
So blue
I need
To leave
Back home
Don't phone
Written on 3/29/2015
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
humor, imagination,
A Bad Day On the High Seas - Repost
Ye dirty son of a sea dog
Ye rotten pile o' bones
Ye'll see the end o' me cutlass
I'll intrrroduce ye to Davey Jones
Ye'll not be getn me treasure
For Ive the map ye see
Ill set ye adrift in a leaky skiff
And food for fish ye'll be
Me chest be filled wi diamonds
And rubies, pearls and such
But ye'll be treadn water
Me treasure ye wont touch
My ode to pirates everywhere..
Written by
Lindsay Laurie
Categories:
humor,
Bad News
Today Doctor had my wife in tears,
He delivered her greatest of fears,
For a full body check
left her a mental wreck...
I should live for twenty more years.
Written by
Skat A
Categories:
funny,
Bad Situation
This poem was removed, because Poetry Soup,
keeps posting this poem on the featured home page.
As if I don't have 150 others to choose from.
For some bad reason,
poetry soup's always featuring the same poems
From my poem list.
In 5 years, this very bad poem, has been featured 3 times.
I had to remove it.... Thank you Soup
S.K.A.T. poetry
2-17-10
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
humor,
Good News - Bad News
His Doc stated "You got a problem my friend",
when his examination was through!
"But, there again, the news isn't all bad!
We're naming this disease, after you"!
Written by
Hgarvey Daniel Esquire
Categories:
adventure, funny, pets
Bad Puppy
My new little Pup
She Bit my computer cord
Off line for a week
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
funny, lust,
Bad Luck
Poor old Dan was a bit of a schmuck
Ran out of gas in his brand new truck
Now late for his date
Boy, was she irate
No hanky panky was his bad luck
hanky panky- loosely translated as sexual activity
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
humor, nonsense, silly,
A Bad Poem Day
I've been writing now, fourscore years and ten
I started with a crayon, switch to pencil and then pen
And even though I'm older now, I still can make a bloop
Using my new keyboard to poop right in my soup