Humorous and funny Balls poems and/or funny poems about Balls. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Balls funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Its Just a Load of Old Balls
Jen loves to go to bingo
Knows all the caller’s ‘lingo’
Her numbers come out
She gives a loud shout
Lose - she howls like a dingo
25th February 2015
Written by
Charmaine Chircop
Categories:
humorous,
Rugby Balls One Liner Sports
No wonder his dropping balls are egg - shaped . He 's a veteran rugby player
Not for the contest but inspired by the Sports one liner contest : )
Written by
Sean Kelly
Categories:
funny,
Are All Sports a Load of Balls
This is not a Sports Limerick ; For Jan's Limerick Contest .
My Limerick will not mention Sports .
Either pitches , golf courses or courts .
'Cept cranky old farts
Who like playing darts
With no fuss in a truss of supports .
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Sorry guys , I just couldn't resist it !
Happy Christmas to all the talented writers here , and to those who passed comment on my "ramblings" . May your pens be sharp/witty and bountiful for 2016
Sean .
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Great Balls of Fire
Sir Henry was smoking cheroot
Stark naked in his birthday suit
But he did something rash
When he's flicking his ash
His pubes are no longer hirsute!
4th May 2015
Written by
Christopher Flaherty
Categories:
funny,
**** and Balls
If you 2
Like me
Are lead astray by your ever so lively **** and Ball's
You 2 may find yourself in the dock
If you didn't shout duck
And an errant ****
Or playful Ball
Strikes you playing partner right in the face
Brace yourself
Those things burn and sting like Duck
And you 2 may be sitting in the Dock
For assault by means of a playful Badminton Shuttlecock
Or misdirected squash ball
If it was indeed
Written by
Steve Humphries Artist
Categories:
grandmother, humor,
Grandma's Balls
My Grandma had big balls,
Big heavy hairy yams,
Swinging boulders under her dress,
She would stand one leg on a chair,
Her hefty doc martin boots tight,
Leaning one elbow on her knee,
Stroking her bold chin with left hand,
Blowing choking tobacco smoke,
From a liquorice papered roll,
Like a musket fuse in the right.
In awe I would see them
The tips of coconuts,
Ponderous, potent, dangerous,
Dangling out from under her frock
Like, Churchill, Drake, or Wellington,
Planning raids of domestic loot,
Planning lethal Sunday Dinners
Planning bingo hall victories
Planning serious drunken brawls
Grandma’s low hanging British balls.
Written by
Tom Bell
Categories:
angst, funny, health, parody,
Balls
Balls
Base balls
some balls fall
when balls fall it galls
Y'allz
Written by
Mark Koplin
Categories:
humor,
Blue Balls
There once was a little teapot, short and stout.
It had tiny dancers that rubbed its spout.
Its handle got neglected and fell to the floor.
Now the little teapot is no more.
There was a dynamic duo, Bobbin Robin and the Bat.
Wayne Manor is where their special bromance was at.
On a cold rainy day in King Arthur’s court.
They admitted defeat and had to abort.
Will they return? It’s not quite clear.
They are looking for help, blue pills and some beer.
Keep living the dream and rolling those dice.
After all, it’s just another day in paradise.
Written by
Joe Flach
Categories:
funny,
Sandy Balls
There once was a golfer named Andy
Whose balls were always getting sandy
The ones in the trap
And ones in his lap
Cause sand always made Andy randy
written and posted 3/27/2013 for the Golf Limerick Contest
Written by
Johnny Rhinem
Categories:
bullying, creation, humorous, inspiration, love,
He Had No Balls
Still the bone remained....
Pulling on his chain; ever snarling
A tug of war with, her tree as meat loaf
Became his dreams and gobble said the turkey
Unto her queen bee ? Blue bishops atop pogo sticks a fly
With one big eye siphoning the marrow from time's sparrow; slobbering
Their madman howls holy cow his orange cat meows wow, where has Alice gone.
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
funny, sports
Balls
Now American football enthrals
There are plays there are tackles and falls
It’s not stagnant or staid
And it’s usually played
By men with oddly shaped balls
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, snow,
Snow Balls
Poor Frosty was built upside down
And quickly he’s talk of the town
He is not wearing smalls -
People see his snowballs!
His smile has turned into a frown!
Upside down world Contest
Sponsored by Eve Roper
12-23-17
Written by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories:
funny
Pauls Balls
There was a man named Pauls
Who was born near the Victoria falls
Had a male organ on his fore head
Which almost killed him dead
For the sacks hung over his eye balls
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
humor,
Cotton Balls
COTTON BALLS
The old ram knew that something was rotten
that nature had somehow forgotten
to put in the stuff
to make him ram tough
somehow making his balls out of cotton
John G. Lawless
©8/14/2017
Written by
Mike Gentile
Categories:
christmas, humor, humorous, tree,
No Balls For Christmas
The trees on the farm heard the calls
December, their fate now befalls
They wait save for one
Which started to run
For this Christmas tree had no balls
Written by
Newton Ranaweera
Categories:
humor, snow, winter,
Lockdown: Soap Balls
Rolled slushy snow balls an old hearty boy.
Boy, he played with his gal, a scene so coy;
Never ask me if it's me
Or that sporty gal is she;
In laundry, we blow now soap balls, bolshoi.
Bolshoi, in Russian, means ‘big’, ‘large’
Syllable count: 10/10/7/7/10
Dec. 30, 2020
Winter Snow or Ice Limerick Contest Poetry Contest
Contest sponsor: Tania Kitchin
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
funny,
Policemen's Balls
A hole was found in the girl's locker room wall
Policemen are looking into it!!! They've got the wherewithal
To take advantage of their role
Upholding justice is their goal
But boys will be boys evidenced by their policemen's balls
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
garden, humor, humorous,
Hairy Balls
what are light green milkweed seeds called?
hairy balls!
There are three old women at the table.
One spits out her dentures.
We cannot stop laughing.
I am not kidding, one tells us.
I work at an arboretum. Look it up.
We do and we cannot stop laughing.
The guy in the booth behind the other two turns and glares at me.
I am laughing so hard now, I am crying.
They have no idea, and they keep it going and going and going.
Written by
Kimmy Holmes
Categories:
family, funny, happiness, life, son,
Crap In the Balls
so me and my girlfriend
the kids gettin on our nerves
devise this plan to meet
bring the kids and our angst
we meet at burger world
we talk trash about our men
trash bout the girl next to us
start noticing, kids running out
Mama, Mac pooped in the balls!
geuss he got too enveloped
in what he was playin in
he failed to understand
that he had crapped his pants
So kids runnin everywhere screamin
cuz some kid in the balls
had crapped his pants
and it's everywhere on the walls
Not proud to say
I made an instant decision
To grab the kids, crap and all
and get the hell out of there
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
humor,
mandrake was not allowed to have fuzzy balls
Mandrake’s sisters had fuzzy balls
Green fuzzy balls on their roller skates
Red fuzzy balls on their ice skates
Purple and pink fuzzy balls on their backpacks
You cannot have fuzzy balls they told him
You are a boy
It would be silly for a boy to have fuzzy balls
So he grew up and made himself a fuzzy ball chair
He also stuck out his tongue at both sisters
Refusing to allow either of them to put their petootsies on it
Written by
Josh Hicks
Categories:
confidence, crazy, freedom, fun, funny, paradise, passion,
My Balls
My balls smell like a crisp morning in the alpine suck them and you'll feel fine perhaps enjoying it more after we have a bottle of wine and dine
They're smooth as eggs and they shine just made that way by god's design
Once they're whipped out it's impossible to decline you'll be drooling at the mouth saying "they're mine" as you feel an excited tingling sensation down your spine
Written by
Silas Clairmont
Categories:
humor, humorous,
Balls
so rounded so soft so salty so chewy. Their sweat falls right off as they swing with grace and flow. Oh great rounded ones you carry with an army