Humorous and funny Baptism poems and/or funny poems about Baptism. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Baptism funny poems!
Written by
Joe Dimino
Categories:
baptism, dark, depression, humorous, introspection, longing
A Bad Day All Around
I determined to take seize
of a lightning bolt! Paused
at every tree. Flashed and
thundered all about – stood
by every metal post, just
to see if God wanted me.
Went to the nearest church…
prayed for a voice or sign:
and from behind the altar
heard a gulping sound,
pastor draining the sacrament
wine. Not a good day.
Written by
Jimmi Canada
Categories:
baptism, beauty, city, eve, first love, funny
Roll On
Lauren Hill slow songs thrill,
they pop like a fast moving pill,
I am flopped on top of a junk food bill,
and running with a skunk who tells me to take in my fill-
like leading um' on into my dream,
I create a festering lean,
I rank every thought in order of how I like it,
and prep for a long time that's gonna break all the cycles.
Striding with my shrine,
as I shock a spine,
revitalize and prime-
as I preen and primp and chimp-
as I act like a pimp,
I black out and gimp,
skimp out on my dying moment because death is no shrimp!
Written by
Gary Thomas
Categories:
baptism, humorous,
Lord Ha-Ha
Blessed be the name of Lord Ha-Ha.
I worship at the altar of Ha-Ha.
In his blood I am washed.
In his raiment I am clothed.
In his breastplate I will conquer
And in his name I will trust.
The honor of his blessing I will seek.
The grace of his presence I will covet.
He leads me to channel 60
He splitteth my sides.
My cups runneth over with mammary juice.
The fruit of his womb is as ambrosia
And I will dwell in the house of Ha-Ha forever.
Written by
Kim Rodrigues
Categories:
humor, sea,
Baptism of Ducks
BAPTISM OF DUCKS
Waves shake little boat, smug ducks out at sea.
They sing drinking songs, rambunctious with glee.
Rising waves, quicker,
with more downed liquor.
Unloaded ducks drink. The waves set them free.
8/16/2017
Written by
Robert Gruhn
Categories:
atheist, baptism, hilarious,
Without the Bumps In the Road of Life
WITHOUT THE BUMPS IN THE ROAD OF LIFE
iT wOULD bE lIKE oNE lONG eX-LaX fREEWAY! ;)))
cOPYRIGHT 2018
rOBERT wILLIAM gRUHN
Written by
Dave Collins
Categories:
baptism, bullying, giggle, growing up, solitude, word play
Whisper
State of grace
chilled or be chilled
the bottom line
Written by
Terry Ireland
Categories:
baptism, birth, humor,
Traditions
Big Chief Red Cloud
Man of no little fame
Advising the Paleface
How a child got its name.
It is given by a mother
From the first thing they see
After giving birth and
First leaving their teepee
For my own mother
What caught her eye
Was a beautiful sunset
And the colour of the sky
Over there Is my daughter
Little White Fawn
From a deer and her calf
Seen that very first dawn.
Sometimes of course
Tradition can be irritating
Sat by her side is my son
Two Dogs Copulating.
Written by
Jerrold Prothero
Categories:
anger, baptism, conflict, emotions, humor, word play,
The Outburst
That tepid tea, civility,
Is not the drink for such as me!
Thou cusp, thou nib, thou pricket, prickle, tang and tine!
Thy wit lacks width to grasp my line!
Written by
James Peranteau
Categories:
baptism, dad, devotion, humor,
i still got sum
.
'neath thuh prairie'z
thickets
'long it's lush open
hidden
mostly
'twere that pink
halter yo
stuck it were
in duh visible
thump
'cross mine dome
her daddy'z
warn
")
Written by
Del Coderre
Categories:
age, baptism, bible, humor,
What it could have been
WHAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN
Eve offered Adam an apple in Eden
Which he reluctantly ate
He should have considered the consequences
It was a terrible mistake
Instead of eating the apple
He should have eaten the snake (protein)
Genesis 2.0 (Del's version)
As a result of this, at birth
We all inherited original sin
Baptism fortunately removes it
A good way for life to begin
*****sapien, 200 thousand years ago
Evolved in Africa scientists believe
That we all inherited our DNA
From our mitochondrial Eve