Funny Poems About Baptism or Baptism Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Baptism poems and/or funny poems about Baptism. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Baptism funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Baptism Poems.

Poem Details | by Jimmi Canada |
Categories: baptism, beauty, city, eve, first love, funny, gender, god, history, independence day, mystery, mythology, night, obituary, raven, sea, silly, summer, sweet, teacher, world, yellow,

Roll On

Lauren Hill slow songs thrill,

they pop like a fast moving pill,

I am flopped on top of a junk food bill,

and running with a skunk who tells me to take in my fill-

like leading um' on into my dream,
I create a festering lean,

I rank every thought in order of how I like it,

and prep for a long time that's gonna break all the cycles.

Striding with my shrine,

as I shock a spine,

revitalize and prime-

as I preen and primp and chimp-

as I act like a pimp,

I black out and gimp,

skimp out on my dying moment because death is no shrimp!

Poem Details | by Brittney Lopez |
Categories: absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,


You send bolts through my skin 
something I was never to 
accomplish with you, when I 
saw you it's like my heart sank 
to my stomach and I was in 
shock my body still my body 
heavy felt like when I moved I 
was about to fall to my knees 
you make me want to get 
inside my brain pick you up and 
take you out pick you one by 
one like a flower because I do 
love you and love you not.

Poem Details | by Chukwuemeka Mbah |
Categories: allah, allegory, angel, baptism, boyfriend, business, christian, devotion, funny, jesus, spiritual,

Pages of the Book

On earth on a Mission
purpose redefined with singleness of vision
clarity came cause i sat to look
through the pages of the book

Some days skipped with nothing to dine
some nights slept with nothing to wine
yet more nourished than a royal cook
for i am best fed from the pages of the book

When I lost focus and fell
drowning in the depths of the well
yet I was lifted by an unseen hook
as i flipped through the pages of the book

What about you my dear friend
when the terrestrial race comes to an end
and death vomits all that it ever took
will your name be found on the pages of the book

Poem Details | by Gary Thomas |
Categories: baptism, humorous,

Lord Ha-Ha

Blessed be the name of Lord Ha-Ha.
I worship at the altar of Ha-Ha.
In his blood I am washed.
In his raiment I am clothed.
In his breastplate I will conquer
And in his name I will trust.

The honor of his blessing I will seek.
The grace of his presence I will covet.
He leads me to channel 60
He splitteth my sides. 
My cups runneth over with mammary juice.
The fruit of his womb is as ambrosia
And I will dwell in the house of Ha-Ha forever.

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: humor, sea,

Baptism of Ducks


Waves shake little boat, smug ducks out at sea.
They sing drinking songs, rambunctious with glee.
Rising waves, quicker,
with more downed liquor.
Unloaded ducks drink.  The waves set them free.


Poem Details | by Robert Gruhn |
Categories: atheist, baptism, hilarious,

Without the Bumps In the Road of Life

 iT wOULD bE lIKE oNE lONG eX-LaX fREEWAY! ;)))


Poem Details | by Dave Collins |
Categories: baptism, bullying, giggle, growing up, solitude, word play,


State of grace
chilled or be chilled
the bottom line

Poem Details | by Terry Ireland |
Categories: baptism, birth, humor,


Big Chief Red Cloud
Man of no little fame
Advising the Paleface
How a child got its name.
It is given by a mother
From the first thing they see
After giving birth and 
First leaving their teepee 

For my own mother
What caught her eye
Was a beautiful sunset
And the colour of the sky

Over there Is my daughter
Little White Fawn
From a deer and her calf
Seen that very first dawn.
Sometimes of course 
Tradition can be irritating
Sat by her side is my son
Two Dogs Copulating.