Humorous and funny Beach poems and/or funny poems about Beach. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Beach funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
beach, humorous,
Beach Footles Collaboration
Hot sun
What fun
Soft sand
How grand
Blue sea
For me
High tide
Surf side
Beach babe
In shade
Undress
Top less
No finds
Tan lines
Swim suit…
pursuit
He sports
Tight shorts
Romance?
No chance
Jan Allison
Casarah Nance
1st December 2014
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,
Hope
Don't rush to wash off the sea salt
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.
Written by
Kp Nunez
Categories:
funny, humorous,
The Adventures of Jim the Trim-At the Beach
On this tropical beach, one hot summer day
Jim the Trim came, his bod to display
Been workin’ out day and night
Made the girls' eyes burn bright
Next, he's running from muscles that sashay
KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
10 April 2015
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
beach, fantasy, humorous, woman,
The Mythical Fisher Woman - Inspired By Contest
I encountered her on a dark stormy night
Her huge trout like lips were a scary sight
Strands of white spittle formed on angry lips
huge folds of fat spilled over her wobbly hips
With scaly grey skin and blood red eyes
and legs so fat they chafed her thighs
Hair tangled and matted like limp seaweed
She reeked like a fish of an ancient breed
Reaching out for me with her claw like nails
Slime dripped from her hands like rancid snails
I tossed her a coin and hurried on my way
She’s not been seen since that stormy day
03-28~17
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
beach, body, humorous,
He Had To Wear a Fig Leaf At the Nudist Colony
Dinky
Winky
11-22-17
Written by
Scott Thirtyseven
Categories:
beach, garden, humorous, nature,
Places I'Ve Peed Haiku Series
1
Sun glints off ripples
Play of light in sheltered cove
Scenic lavatory
2
Backyard full of stars
Footsteps crack on frozen grass
Moonlit lavatory
3
Forested mountain side
Above twisting single track
Rider’s lavatory
4
Over arid land
Falling rain evaporates
Hot Aussie dunny
5
Sandy beach stretches
Tropical coral waters
Pristine lavatory
6
Beneath St. Paul’s dome
Lies manicured garden
Monumental lav.
Written by
Donna Jones
Categories:
beach, humorous,
Picnics and Sand
Now I know that beach side picnics and sand
No matter how careful the planning go hand in hand
But it seems whether you sit or whether you stand
Nothing quite goes as you had planned
It doesn't really care where it goes
And I don't just mean between your toes
In your eyes and up your nose
And it doesn't smell like a bleeping rose!
In my shoes and down my shorts
I believe with demons this stuff consorts
To going naked I might resort
And I know I've swallowed at least a quart
When this picnic is over and back home I go
To the warm water of the showers flow
I'll wonder if your troubles are the same as mine
Do you have sand stuck where the sun doesn't shine?
©Donna Jones
Written by
Jackson Labaugh
Categories:
age, arabic, assonance, beach, bird, giggle, judgement,
Haiku For the Color Red
As heat bursts around,
silence lets me ponder on,
where I left my phone.
Written by
Gerard Keogh Jr.
Categories:
fantasy, funny, parody, science fiction
B Horror On a Beach Day.
Soon the curious swelled to a mob.
as they gathered to gape at the glob.
Someone prods with a stick.
as another screams: " Quick!"
"We must run for our lives! It's the Blob!"
Written by
Dale Gregory Cozart
Categories:
humor,
Linguist At a Beach
Linguist at a beach
dropping participle pants
revealing diphthong
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
beach, body, clothes, humorous,
Cross Dresser
I espied a large woman called Evie
(She was wearing her husband’s mankini)
Though her skin was quite pale
She looked like a beached whale
It’s a pity his outfit’s so weenie
Of her figure Evie is proud
but Evie is so well endowed
‘Twas a bright a sunny day
with huge boobs on display
This outfit it drew quite a crowd
An onlooker passed her a towel
Saying cover those boobies they’re foul
Please don’t wear a mankini -
Wear a woman’s bikini
Evie blushed red and gave him a scowl
3/28/18
Written by
Bill Baker
Categories:
beach, bird, boy, funny, magic, miracle,
The Big Surprise
An adventurous lad named Ling,
By chance he found a talking ring.
Then a big surprise,
Right before his eyes,
It became a bird that could sing!
Written by
Ken Rone
Categories:
humor, humorous,
Beach Maiden
A fair maid took a stroll on the beach,
In the moonlight while eating a peach.
Afraid the juice dripping down
Might soil her gown,
She doffed it and juice ran down each.
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
beach, bird, humorous, universe,
The Professor Turned To Me
The professor turned to me
What is infinity?
‘Neither the stars in the sky
nor the sand next the sea’
thought me
The answer, thus he:
‘Every thousand years
a bird picks up a single
grain of sand, oh-so-wee’
‘And even that
'is not infinity'
thus me
‘Jolly good!’
chuckled he
Written by
Rita A. Simmonds
Categories:
beach, child,
Funny Beach Poem For Kids
I saw you playing on the beach,
the sky so blue but out-of-reach.
You started throwing sand so high
it hit the sun right in the eye!
He pulled the clouds around his head
like fluffy pillows from a bed.
Then rain poured down from darkened sky;
You didn’t mean to make him cry.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
beach, gender, humorous, sad love,
I Found No Joy - She's a Ladyboy
In Asia I met a cute gal named Mai Tai
She sure stole the heart of this old guy
On the soft sand we kissed and caressed
Mai’s absolutely stunning, I feel so blessed
I sense there’ll be fireworks under the moon
Our passion is rising when we start to spoon
Her perfect pert body I begin to kiss and caress
One thing leads to another, we start to undress
Alas, when Mai Tai removes her lacy thong
I’m stunned when she reveals a pink dong
I back away disgust, for ‘she’s’ a ladyboy
With this he/she I sure won’t find any joy!
So when looking for love, I’d advise you all to beware
The truth of one's gender’s hidden in their underwear!
6/24/18
Written by
Kim Mcadam
Categories:
beach, children, humor, simile,
Ocean Waves
ocean waves rush in
like rambunctious preschoolers
at morning recess
eager to entertain you
in goofy games of pretend
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
beach, humorous, sports,
Olympic Beach Volleyball - One Liners Sport
Bikini clad babes bouncing on a beach, a VERY popular spectator sport!
09~12~15
Contest – Sport One Liners
Sponsor – Silent One
Written by
Perry Campanella
Categories:
beach, color, dark, fire, fun, giggle, happy, humorous, inspirational, international, july, new year, poetry, senses, voice, youth,
Caution - Fireworks
E-Z Glo Punk, Lightning Flash,
TNT Devices will burst, do crash
Southern Night, Piccolo Petes
are hard to beat...
I like hand held Sparklers, Tanks
flashing fountains, Solar Flare
Six to #20 Gold I have to share,
no incidence, no burns, thanks...
Whistles blow, fountains glow,
pop'n sounds, entire sky all aglow
I love those colors, high an low
trails eched onto my retina
inspired me to let ya know
Now you close both eyes
in pitch dark, what a surprise
for you to see, right there
darkness, absolutely anywhere
beautiful trails of lights in motion
"Always read a label of caution"
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
beach, funny, giggle, grandmother, happy birthday, humor, humorous,
beach birthdays
to the lake to the lake
fish to fry fish to bake
this has been moms cry
birthdays now just rye
if once we'd bring a cake.
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
children, funny,
Hot Foot Beach Shuffle
Georgy ran as Georgy can
Across the hot white shifting sand,
His hot foot shuffle
Caused such a kerfuffle,
Kicking sand up as he ran.
Written by
J.W. Earnings
Categories:
adventure, art, beach, beauty, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dedication, fear, children, kids, freedom, friendship, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, history, hope, imagination, inspirational, journey, life, lonely, lost, mystery, nature, pain, passion, people, time, uplifting,
Have You Ever Read
Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!
~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby
They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" - how mean!!~~~
Piggy asks him if
There are other people on
The island with 'em
He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear -
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??
You'll see...
Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!
Written by
David Bose
Categories:
golf, humor, nature,
During a Round of Golf At Pebble Beach
On Pebble Beach's seventh green
I paused to watch an otter.
He dove, cavorted, spun around,
An acrobat on water.
Then lolling, drifting, eyeing me
He twitched brown nose and whiskers.
His thought, that moment, mirrored mine:
"He plays all day, that rascal."
Written by
Charlie Knowlton
Categories:
beach, funny, sea, summer,
Ride Home From the Beach
05/09/2018
a sea of salt sand
populates swimsuit waistband
the oceans wet itch
Written by
Gorlum Gorlum
Categories:
beach, desire, humor, lust, ocean, old, places, romance,
Dirty Limerick: Old Man,Part 2
Preparing his conference speech
Old man ended up on nude beach
By virtue or vise
He stuck his device
In each blowhole he could reach