Funny Poems About Bear or Bear Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Bear poems and/or funny poems about Bear. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Bear funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Bear Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: fun, humorous, tribute, , cute,

CUTE BLACK BEAR

Cute black bear has a perfect behind and her manicured paws are so kind When she sits on a chair all the male bears just stare - her sheer beauty, it just blows their mind! A friend has given me a little black bear as a replacement for the soft toy we used to have in my husband’s car – I hope she lasts as long as our old ‘guard dog’! https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/farewell_old_friend_888761 05~15~17


Poem Details | by Mark Koplin |
Categories: animal, humor, spring,

Don't Poke the Bear

Inspirational beauty, comes to life every spring.
The baby birds in their nest, to their mothers still cling.
The hibernating bear, still asleep in his den.
Will soon wake up cranky, so we'll let him sleep in.

Many creatures of beauty, some big and some small.
They thrive in the forest, well into the fall.
The bunnies and squirrel, the lark and the wren.
They know to be quiet, by the sleeping bears den.

But here comes a rat, with a stick in his paw.
Knowing his intent, a raven shrieks in caw.
The rat pokes and prods, the air smells foul.
They wait to hear the sleeping bear's growl.

The rat continues, along on his schlep.
The bear now awakens, poked where he once slept.

Poem Details | by brandy wassam |
Categories: childhood, food, children, funny, horror, kindergarten, nonsense,

the bear

there once was a bear
who lived in belair 
he owned a red hen
who made eggs for his kin
then one time like most bears do
the bear got hungery 
and ate the red hen 
and her last eggs of ten
with a gulp and a swallow 
down went the hen 
but wait..
now there was no hen to lay eggs for his kin.

Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: funny,

Bear Grylls

Bear Grylls
warns us not to brave the ice.
That is until
he quickly disregards his own advice.



NOTE: For those that don't know, Bear Grylls is the host of Man vs. Wild. It's a show that teaches you how to survive in the wilderness...


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: children, funny,

Grizzly Bear

Are you aware that a Grizzly Bear
Is tall and very powerful,
Don't disturb him while he naps
Or you might get a growl full.

If you see him in a forest, 
Then seek shelter from a tree,
Make sure your scent is downwind
Or you just might be his tea.

Poem Details | by Daniel Turner |
Categories: humorous, political, satire,

The Right To Bear Arms

Our country is a shooting gallery
Ten cents will buy ten shots at infamy
Just shoot a cop, you'll be on Fox
Skin color now is really hot
So far five out of ten's the best we've seen

Mass shootings now are really all the rage
Like hunting birds locked up inside a cage
High schools are cool, theaters rule
Or you can kill a nightclub full
Your face will make the newspaper's front page

So hurry and go buy yourself a gun
They sell them on the street corner for fun
Don't take no static, get an automatic
Pretend to be a religious fanatic
You'll have to kill a bunch to be number one



  an original poem by Daniel Turner

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, allegory, angst, animal, child, childhood, confusion, courage, death, dream, fear, funny, grief, hate, hope, humorous, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, memory, metaphor, mystery, nature, nostalgia, parody, passion, people, pets, philosophy, recovery from..., sad, satire, sorrow, spiritual, stress, success,

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”

Poem Details | by Emma Anonymous |
Categories: children, funny,

A Bear Care

There once existed a fierce bear
Nothing with anybody would he share

Then one day he cried
Because friends he denied

Then he vowed to always play fair

Poem Details | by Connie Gildersleeve |
Categories: humorous, memory, nostalgia,

Tattered Old Mr Teddy Bear

In my bed, my childhood teddy layers next to me.
Absent mindedly I trace his now tattered seams,
And his matted brown fur from years of tears and hugs.

Even though I'm old and gray, privately we talk.
No, I'm not feeble-minded as some might think.
I talk to Teddy of my thoughts I had that day.

As long as I can speak, my Teddy is my guy.
He's my greatest listener where so many are not.
If he begins to talk, they'll surely take me away.

Poem Details | by Eddy Ortega |
Categories: funny,

Gummy Bear

My brain is filled with sticky stuff today
and thoughts will not come out.

Sorry sisters and brothers.
The want is within
and I try to nausea:
I pinch my nose purse my lips
shut tight my eyes and blow fish.

A hint of wit in the silly putty?
Something worth script?

No!
A metaphoric fart judders my cheeks.
Squeezed out is an empty wish 
for metrical structure.

My head is hopeless.
Gummy; bare.

Forgive me Voltaire.

My brain is brim sticky
and I cannot share 
a poem today.

Poem Details | by Seren Roberts |
Categories: funny,

Polar Bear inspired by contest

The polar bear so they say Is renowned for being gay After salmon and stuff Wants to huff and puff For gawds sake don't get in the way
Penned 10 November 2017

Poem Details | by Donn Ronquillo |
Categories: devotion, food, children, funny, growing up, health, sympathy,

SPECIAL TEDDY BEAR

this magical toy was handed down to me,
by no other but my family.
yet to be recognized and told,
never to be sold.
in first sight it was mystical,
it never likes a brat.
so to it's meaning;
you shouldn't always be mean,
show that you are not easily upset,
and is always is a fair kid.
it could protect you,
will always be by your side.
calm you in the storm,
brave you through a fight.
will be there for you through thick and thin,
no matter how your destiny ends.

Poem Details | by Earl Schumacker |
Categories: best friend, crazy, education, farewell, fun, funny, drug,

Teddy Bear - Strange Love

Teddy Bear - Strange Love 

Our new neighbors have guns and drugs
They call me Teddy
Silly!....my toy is Teddy…. Teddy Bear
They must be crazy
I love my little bear
We’re happy happy happy skipping down the street!
One day the neighbor guy took my teddy
Threw him in the air
Like a taxidermist dream
I screamed, “Teddy can’t fly leave him be!” 
The bad man zeroed in on Teddy 
With an AK-47 in hand
And blew my friend away.
The tiny head flew off
Stuffing everywhere
Daddy!
Oh Daddy come quick!
I think my teddy is sick!


Poem Details | by Terry L. Allen |
Categories: children, funny, nostalgia,

Teddy Bear

Good Morning my precious
Teddy Bear.
I see you warm and cuddly
sitting there
your fur crumpled and mussed
from my loving care.
You give me peace and comfort
through the night
from all pain, sorrow
and worldly fright.
I'm crazed, lost and so up tight
when of you I loose sight.
Without you to hug
things wouldn't be right.
When the day is at end
and on comes the night.
I look for you
to hold so tight.
Without your care
Teddy Bear
how will I make it 
through the night.

Poem Details | by Gayle Rodd |
Categories: animal, humorous, nature,

The Bear Facts


One day I was walkin' through the woods
Amongst the cool, crisp mountain air
When cold and burley there he stood
Lickin' his chops this hungry bear

I tried so hard to find a tree
And scamper fast, I tried to run
Before his claws took hold of me
The dang thing nipped me in the bum!

And quick I thought to grab a stick
And slap him hard across the nose
I took for brush, the trees were thick
And that is how the story goes

The moral of this tiny tale
Is never walk alone out there
And if I ever hear you wail
Don't count on me if it's a bear!

Poem Details | by Robert Pettit |
Categories: funny, hair, care, night, care, hair, night,

A Bear

A bear A bear has hair A bear without hair is bare A bare bear without hair won’t sit in a chair A bare bear without hair not in a chair doesn’t care A bare bear without hair not in a chair doesn’t care about the night air Can you stare at a bare bear without hair not in a chair that doesn’t care about the night air? Can you stare at a bare bear without hair not in a chair and not caring about the night air as he climbs a stair? If you stare at a bare bear without hair not in a chair and not caring about the night air climing a stair, you had better beware!

Poem Details | by R.A. Marschall |
Categories: humor, humorous,

Great Bear - Make Their Jaws Drop

Two little Indians alone in their tent;
One to the other a message he sent.

I'm only but eight but I know the score;
To earn my true name a bear slain before.

Out to the forest before the sunrise,
My bow and arrows my only disguise.

When I come upon that dreaded vile bear,
I will slay him down with arrows to spare.

If I encounter his evil red eyes,
I'll be last person he sees, fore' he dies.

My name will be Great Bear, one whom I'd slain;
Thunder then started, was starting to rain.

Crashes of thunder, great flashes of white;
Really so beat, let me sleep thru the night.

Allow me sleep the sound sleep of the brave,
Knowing full well my very best I gave.


Poem Details | by Tirzah Conway |
Categories: animals, funny

Poor Bear

There once was a silly old bear,
Who could find nothing to wear;
          He went to the mall,
          Found nothing at all,
And so the poor bear goes bare!

Poem Details | by john fenn |
Categories: animals, funny

Bear in the kitchen

There’s a bear in the kitchen
He’s ever so rude
He’s drinking my milk
And he’s eating my food
He’s broken the table
He’s broken a chair
And most every surface
Is covered in hair
He’s smashed off the lock
That was once on the door
He’s ruined the curtains
And pooed on the floor
The fridge he ripped open
Stuff strewn all about
I’ve nothing for dinner
He’s eaten my trout
When this one is gone 
I will do some repairs
Fit a strong door
To repel wild bears
But should they get in
Their work will be harder
I’ll store all my food 
In a solid steel larder

©  John W Fenn 06-12-2009

Poem Details | by Michael Gale |
Categories: funny, health, parody, people,

C Da Dey I Rassled Ay Bear !

I rassled a bear when i was only two yars old...
I wooda kilt him had i not hadda cold.
I rassled with a crockedyle when i was three yars old...
I ritely brag cause i'm really quite bold.
I kicked a cougar's butt when i wuz but ownly four...
That day i ownly walked away just kindda sore, That
varment ran cause he didint want any moor.
I rassled wit a rhino won day, i made him wished he nevert sawed me, 
i made dat sucker pay.
Well today i just turnt five...
If yew mess wit me yew wont b 2 long alive.
Well, i gotta go pee pee, bye, bye. 
 
 

Poem Details | by cheryl hoffman |
Categories: animal, humor,

Bear Idea

Bears do something that is top rate,
I just have to make my stomach inflate,
after Holidays,
in bed will stay,
for a couple of months to hibernate.



12-6-16

Poem Details | by randy johnson |
Categories: funny, humor, people,

The Man Who Cried Bear

I became known as the man who cried bear.
Nobody is coming this time, they no longer care.
I cried bear and people came seven times.
Now a bear really is attacking me and there is nobody to save this hide of mine.
After pulling that prank seven times, I don't blame people for being appalled.
But this bear is very ferocious and he's tearing me apart, I'm being mauled.
I shouldn't have pulled that prank and you'd better believe that I'm scared.
I would give my right arm that the bear just tore off if I hadn't cried bear.

(This is a fictional poem.)

Poem Details | by John Beam |
Categories: allusion, animal, fun, humor, inspiration, satire,

Don't feed the bear

Please, don't mess with the poet                                                                                          Please, you should have knowdit

Poem Details | by Anna Nomaly |
Categories: funny,

An Owl that is Secretly a Bear

Swooping feathers soft and bright
hiding faces in the night
Softly swooping the owl has risen
attacking small creatures with perfect precision

But hark!What's this? It's beady stare
is no belonging to... a bear?
How strange! What magic! Oh what fun...
But I think my bird watching club should run

Poem Details | by robert morley |
Categories: funny love, humorous, love,

Little Honey Bear

For my loves kisses are like honey~

So smooth, sweet and delicious~

For I'm like a little honey Bear~

Forever feeding upon them~