Humorous and funny Blue poems and/or funny poems about Blue. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Blue funny poems!
Written by
Skat A
Categories:
abuse, funny, husband, me,
Black and Blue
BLACK and BLUE
Today I wonder,
Wonder why?
You hit me in the eye,
you made me cry.
My eyes are brown,
Now they're black and blue.
Is that what I get for loving you?
My lips are pink, now they're bloody red.
Is that what I get!!!
Do you wish I were dead?
My teeth are white,
I just lost three,
Is that what I get over a little fight?
I see a smile underneath,
I see you leaving with the police.
I finally got rid of you.
I can't believe I waited,
UNTIL I WAS BLACK AND BLUE.
SK
NOTE: True story, I finally did the right thing and called the cops
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
age, beauty, funny, hair, old, silly, silver,
No Blue Hair
No blue hair or curls for me.
I’ll grow old naturally.
Hanging breasts and flattened bum,
crooked teeth and graying gum.
Sagging knees and chicken skin,
sunny spots and double chin.
Silver streaks through thinning hair,
dimming eyesight no repair.
Crinkly crow’s eyes and flat feet
singing as the Maker I meet.
I don’t care what you say,
I can’t hear you anyway.
Written by
Francis J Grasso
Categories:
funny,
My Blue Cheese Is
Pineapple pizza with pink pepperoni,
Buffalo wings and brown guacamole,
Little dead fishes in sour cream sauces,
Onions and garlic and greasy red sausage.
Cucumber sandwiches plastered with mustard,
Lemons and limes in a yucky green custard,
Fat happy chickens less all of their feathers,
Tomatoes, potatoes, my mother's hot peppers...
These are a few of my flavorless things!
Written by
Rhoda Tripp
Categories:
food, funny, humor, humorous,
My Blue Cheese Is
My blue cheese is Limburger and it tastes like rotten meat.
Were I to put it twixt my toes, I would have stinky feet.
I once bought a big chunk of it, there's nothing I won't try.
It was the day that I did learn, be careful what you buy.
Being the person that I am, (I think I'm heaven scent)
And not to waste, a slice I put in my foe's car air vent.
Next day I got the 'evil eye' and I was very pleased.
I was not sure what I should do, so simply uttered "Cheese".
That nasty crap I'll buy no more for I'd be really dumb.
To those who make the rancid stuff, I'd say "it tastes of bum".
Written 1/6/18
Contest: My Blue Cheese is...
Hosted by Kevin Shaw
Written by
Terri Stiles
Categories:
animal, cheer up, humorous,
Blue Lobster
A blue lobster was saved at Red Lobster today
From the usual fate of lobster ways.
The zookeepers came and took her to the zoo
Where everyone said, “Look she’s blue”.
The other lobsters complained,
"We’re all red-we’re all the same."
And one by one, they ended up on plate
As the dinner a hungry customer ate.
So next time you feel overlooked,
Be thankful that you weren’t cooked!
To get attention, you now know what to do,
Simply dress in something blue.
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
appreciation, art, dedication, hilarious, humor,
Never Be Blue If You Can Be Cyan
I have to ask of my good friend Jan
who lives far away on the isle of man
why on earth you went for a silly brain scan?
I would like to know what's up, what's the plan?
Is it to prove once and for all
that women are superior and smarter than man?
surely if true, all the blondes will fast become fans
however if correct, you can no longer call me Sam
you'll have to call me Sandra now, or I wont give a dam
come to think of it, I am so smart I might become tran
if you think I am funny, I am, I am Borat from Kazakhstan
I am, I am, I am Sandra not Sam
Written by
Sonia Walker
Categories:
bird, humor, nature,
Blue Jay
blue jay in the yard
boisterous and beautiful
prima donna act
May 9, 2020
Written by
Hilo Poet
Categories:
analogy, appreciation, change, drink, humor, international, music,
True Blue Music Lovers
True Blue Music Lovers
Eyes squeezed, ears held shut,
When the Koto is plucked, and
Kimono girl shrieks in league,
After much sake,
The Zither is fined tuned, and
The Soprano is well dressed.
2019 April 29
*3rd Place*
Best Sedoka - 577-577
~~Lu Loo
Written by
Joe Dimino
Categories:
blue, cheer up, gothic, halloween, humorous, silly, wisdom,
The Little Ghost
There once was a sad little Ghost,
teased for his fright-less boo --
unable to scare anyone, in fact,
attracting many a bull
(sounded like an amorous moo)
Oh, that poor little ghost! -- his white sheet always blue;
Maytag man suggested bleach: agitated back and forth~
Screech! Screech! Screech!…
(The saga of the Sad Little Ghost. Add to the saga in your comment: for example, the boo to the owl sounded like hoo...so he showed up with his Plagiarism lawyer~ etc.... The Witch heard the call as brew, or stew, so she got off her broom to prepare more gloom....)
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
america, baby, beautiful, blue, butterfly, funny, humorous,
Abc
Apple Appetite
ample appealing
Adam an American
artificial air
Butter best baby
beautiful blue butterflies
buying buckwheat bread
Crackers cherry crust
cinnamon cheese cereal
crispy crunchy crumbs
Date Written: 7/20/2020
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love, desire, feelings, giggle, girl, hello, hope, humorous, lust, relationship, romance, sexy, song, sweet, together, uplifting, woman,
Please Help Me, Re-Lyric
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.
So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You;
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
blue, cheer up, giggle,
- Doctor Recommendation -
Sickness comes ~ sickness goes
A warm nose ~ temperature measurement is important
You heard what the doctor said
Do not worry
You're a big boy now
Even though you're not feeling your best
I hope to see you get well soon
I know that it’s no fun
A juicy meat bone is waiting for you
Please ~ stand still
08.02.2016
A-L Andresen :)
Written by
Brittney Lopez
Categories:
absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,
Skin
You send bolts through my skin
something I was never to
accomplish with you, when I
saw you it's like my heart sank
to my stomach and I was in
shock my body still my body
heavy felt like when I moved I
was about to fall to my knees
you make me want to get
inside my brain pick you up and
take you out pick you one by
one like a flower because I do
love you and love you not.
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
car, humor, political,
Blue and On Wheels
Can't be for an old Stanley Steamer
With Bernie my car is a screamer
With magnet en route
If you see me please toot
It’s strategically stuck on my bimmer*
*This is the correct spelling for a BMW car or person. Mine is a previously-owned (many times over) 3-series with 259,000 miles that we maintain. Apologies for burning fossil fuel, but at least there is no depreciation to deal with.
Written by
Mark Goodson
Categories:
funny, social, blue, blue,
Alliteration In B
The blue ball bounced against the rubber baby buggy bumper.
Bobby Brown’s bright blue blazer matched Betty’s blue bloomers.
Baseball is business blessed beyond belief.
Brook’s brother boiled beetle bugs for breakfast.
The bow of the boat blocked the big barge.
Bill’s barrel belly button bares birthday bacteria.
Baboons beam beautiful ballads for bitter berry bush butter.
Bonnie’s buttons battle the bulge.
Written by
Brian Strand
Categories:
animals, funny, nature
Peacock Blue
A
many
splendoured love-
a come hither
tail
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
addiction, angst, blue, green, humorous, longing, memory,
Stoner's Lament
All those wee pot flakes
So carelessly whisked away...
Could use a joint now.
Written by
Farah Chamma
Categories:
funny, happinessworld, sleep,
Blue Blanket
I sleep beyond its warmth
I envision upon its touch
In this world exists a hell lot of blankets
But this, ineffably, I admire very much
In shades of light blue
My blanket wraps me tight
Its color a deep, tender comfort
Resembling a departing night
Across the wide distances of cold
I am shielded amid its warm fluff
I begin to sink in skies, as soon as
I lay my head upon its cloudy puff
In this world exists a hell lot of blankets
But this, ineffably, I admire very much
I now yearn to sleep all day
Within its magical, surreal clutch
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
car, humor, image,
- a Blue Car Blue Day -
Are you aware of what values
and dreams that are important in life
All humans have values
Memories for life
A photograph you will never forget
In the future, grandchildren will laugh
Grandma and Grandpa forever
Respect for human actions
Freedom - (grandpa's pants :)
Security - (grandma still inn the car :)
Courage and perseverance
Friendship and fellow human - (ready to rescue)
Confidence - (no worry :)
Humor in a tragedy
06-04- 2017
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Written by
Julie Grenness
Categories:
blue, fantasy, friend, funny, funny love, giggle, smile,
On Finding Nemo
ON FINDING NEMO
Nemo is blue, and I am a rabbit,
Comical thoughts my brain inhabit,
Thoughts invent friends imaginary,
Quite silent, tacit but delusionary,
Women's fantasies are good,
For older Red Riding Hoods alone in the woods!
Do not have a victim mentality,
Smiles are universal and free,
A concept not so imaginary.
In each person's brain, thoughts cohabit,
Nemo is blue and I am a rabbit!
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
blue, crazy, fun, humor, rude, thank you, uplifting,
What Fascinates Me
Please say thank you~don't be rude
Ever sit and watch people feud
Over the hills and valleys to
People say crazy things that make me come unglued
Laughing until I am blue
Even some I think belong in the zoo
Date Written: 5/18/2022
~Note~ Acrostic Rhyme
Written by
Kevin Shaw
Categories:
blue, food, funny, word play,
Blue Cheese
Blue Cheese
There is Cheshire, Red Leicester, Emmental and Brie,
Double Gloucester and Edam, a delight for all to see,
Stilton, Caerphilly, or Cheddar mature and mild,
Lots of subtle flavours to drive my taste bud’s wild.
There is Lancashire, Wensleydale or Derby to please,
So why, oh’ why, would you serve me Blue Cheese?
That smelly Blue cheese you know I cannot stand,
Give me Shropshire Mild, or something rather bland.
I don’t want that stinking dairy, in my salad box,
Opening the lid to an odour of sweaty socks.
So, hear my request I am begging of you please,
No more, no more, of that smelly blue cheese.
Written by
Verlena S. Walker
Categories:
blue, how i feel, humor, meaningful,
Instride
INSTRIDE
My voice is shallow and cannot be heard.
I see with refinement even in crepuscular.
Desultory are my thoughts unraveled,
But my spirit is fulfilled with exuberant joy.
I drag my feet in a halcyon way.
A visceral mocking and a cynical mocker I am.
The snoring, as I travel on feet, was sonorous.
Penumbra was beneath the trees.
An opulent within his aristocratic jealousy,
However, I do not speak of these things.
_____________________________________|
Written January 28, 2016!
Written by
Lee Leon
Categories:
allegory, animal, blue, farm, funny, recovery from, sick,
Poor Ewe
When you're a sheep and feel unwell, it's also often true
When dipped into your medicine, you come up feeling blue
Blue from your woolly noggin-lid, down to your woolly socks
And inside from your woolly brain, down to your woolly hocks
So when you are a poorly sheep, and feel in poorly form
You're gonna feel off-colour, 'cos off-colour is the norm
And both insides and outsides are tinged with shades of blue
There's only one thing left to say, and that will be, "Poor Ewe!"
Written by
Verlena S. Walker
Categories:
adventure, allah, anger, angst, blue, faith, humor,
Torpedos Napalm
TORPEDOS’ NAPALM
T remors shocked the penguins of the Arctic Circle.
O rbital the water lobbed in the ocean.
R otating in a circumnavigating format
P enguins dangled high in the air.
E stablishing that quavers do manifest in cold weather,
D issolving the water into a formed ditch.
O nly the vibrations remained.
N uclear bodies lye in rigor mortis.
A ssassinated by the bombastic troposphere.
P lugger material that could be sold
A s thick plastic
L anguor in stillness.
M issiles sent by God.
______________________________________________________|
Written February 19, 2016!