Humorous and funny Boyfriend poems and/or funny poems about Boyfriend. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Boyfriend funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Boyfriend Poems.
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,
There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love, parody, passion, teen,
My darling enigma, my dove
You’re the epitome of my love
Your smile shines at me pearly white
Pale skin shines and glints in the light
Silken locks, obsidian flow
Eyes just like ice, crystalline glow
Peals of laughter ring like a bell
Enchant me; I’m under your spell
You walk with a musical flow
Tiptoeing with softness through snow
But, alas, you open your mouth
Utter tripe spilling out
If only you’d keep your mouth shut.
(Love from Anonymous)
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, lost love, love, mother, parody, romance, satire, sorry,
Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent
Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.
But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.
boyfriend, funny love, girlfriend, psychological, relationship,
How is he?"
"Quite terrible, Miss.
He will not survive the night,
Probably not even the hour."
"What does he have?
It is worse then all of those.
Can I see him?
"I imagine you can, Miss.
But that's the problem.
I'm afraid I can't treat him
Since I can't--"
"Doctor! Please tell me.
I love him.
He's my boyfriend.
We have no secrets."
"Then you may wanna sit down.
Miss, I am sorry to inform you,
Your boyfriend is ailed with
A severe case of nonexistence."
Mom looks through windows
A watched pot will never boil
A daughter's courtship
Contest; "Redneck Psalms, Improve Human Foible"
Sponsored by: John Freeman
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
angst, confusion, depression, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, introspection, life, love, passion, people, philosophy, romance, social, sorry
not sure how she got here
only know she needs to leave
underneath the stranger
my arm numb; asleep,
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry
princess of night
exposed by light.
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess.
along with my will.
I swore never again;
the lie is half the thrill.
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love, passion, romance,
Kiss saves and kills
Drop by drop KISS increases
To form an ocean of EMOTION
EMOTION in love billows
Around many pillows
With PASSION it is POWERED
You lose control over your EMOTION
Your EMOTION now sets you in MOTION
To the journey of no return.
You may ask, What is bad in it?
The bad IN it is at the END of it!
Ph.d Volo Von Wolfenstein
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, lovelove,
Romance is calamitous,
I woo and charm,
And raise some alarm,
When I try to arouse,
... By flexing my arm!
Some days its almost ridiculous,
Whatever I do,
So I dress to impress,
But I'm always despairing,
When I walk through the door,
I hear: "What are you wearing?"
They told me love was fabulous,
If you want the truth:
When I try to hit,
I always miss,
That hug I got,
...Should've been a kiss!
But if all is fair in love and war,
I should keep trying until I score,
And maybe one day I will cease to fuss,
If only I wasn't...
... that's naughty honey...
Reflecting upon the idea...
I dipped a finger and checked the air
The wind was moving and I could swear
That my boyfriends taste was everywhere
Licking my fingers in pure delight I
Extended again for another bite
Better with the butter
Indeed its true...but
There's a scent in the air
With a golden glow and after
Summing it up I came to know...
That my Boyfriends honey
Was on sour dough.
Having seen that
Sent me realing on back
And my walls went up
In stacks upon stacks
Determined to never again...
Write a sweet book
with a bitter nut's pen.
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, dance, dance,
I got up at six this morning
Feeling kind of weak
I had a shave and showered
As I walked my bones would creak
I have very bad arthritis
But I can kill the pain
I just have to take Viagra
Then go back to bed again
My girl is exasperated
Found out six months ago
A Viagra in the morning
Will keep me on the go
I cuddled next to her
":Lets dance they're playing our song"
Sleepy eyed she lay there
Snoring all along
Next morning I woke up
A note said she was gone
"Next time you hear your music
You must dance it all alone"
body, boyfriend, clothes, funny, hurt, lust, men,
My eager man bought me a wee thong
which I put on to best get along
but rubbing bugging attacks
soon whacked my fore and aft crack.
My pinged pong found his dingdonged thong wrong.
August 7, 2019
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, loveme,
I wanted something bubbly
Coke with ice cream trick
That fridge, again, empty
So I made my trip to Kwik
Swerving around this town in my horses
Parking up by the front door
No training could have prepared me for
What waited inside the store
Standing with her 2-liter of Diet 7-Up
If I just died, keep me here on heaven
I asked above not be taken so abruptly
Feeling luckier than sevens or elevens
Now she says that this place
Is wherever we stand here
Desiring her within my space
Needing her crystal clear
That gentleness of her touch
As we let go while giving in
When love has got its clutch
In times we are skin to skin
age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,
Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook
God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.
Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.
Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.
Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.
Poet Destroyer A
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love,
BED BUGS BITES
It's time to fix the mattress
fluffy pillows and blankets,
enough room for just one more.
BITE ME' if you can!
Swat after, swat, after swat!
Red itchy skin, what the h3ll!
The open breeze feels real good,
crawling too bite NATE!
NOTE~ I've never been bitten by these insects,
I just love the way my mother would always say...
"Don't let the bed bugs bite!"
Contest: "Bite me!"
**I bite Nathan, who'll probably will love it ;-)**...LOL...
childhood, education, family, fantasy, children, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, imagination, inspirational, life, love, people, teen, uplifting, visionary
braces interlocked - told him no kissing
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, romance, sad, song-sympathy, teen
boyfriend, character, crush, funny, games, teacher, teen,
Some boys forget their mom's words,
they leave for school in a mad rush
with uncombed hair looking like nerds;
in the classroom they have a crush.
Liz, their teacher, wears tight jeans,
they can't concentrate on the test;
she's happy for attracting the teens,
their girlfriends notice their unrest.
They hate their beautiful teacher,
but her vulgarity makes them sneer:
her character isn't worthy of cheer.
When paper planes start a warfare,
Liz's hair seems a style so rare;
all the boys laugh: it is a snare.
angel, angst, art, bible, boyfriend, eve, god, humor, language, nature, nice, retirement, science, senses, silly, snow,
RIPAE BENI DEAU VER
In modus fasciculumque Brady pus.
Rogationes, confractum egemus.
Ripa nostra, sus amica,
Sic superbum precum, pape beatus.
The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand moves in mysterious ways. Just ignore him.
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, body, girl,
Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.
Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in ****
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.
But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.
business, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, romance, slam, war, nice, me, nice,
i dont care who you are
or what you think of me
build me up and break me down
then take your "stuff"* and flee
i hate you
you know it too
so bring it to my plate
take a point and hold my ground
to not spew all my hate
you were so nice in the beginning
well, what the "heck"* are you now?
gone, love, thats what you are
a filthy ugly cow
i am still the nice guy
lord, you have said so much worse
and still im here, i still get by
a blessing, not a curse.
i didnt snap hard enough to say what i meant
absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,
You send bolts through my skin
something I was never to
accomplish with you, when I
saw you it's like my heart sank
to my stomach and I was in
shock my body still my body
heavy felt like when I moved I
was about to fall to my knees
you make me want to get
inside my brain pick you up and
take you out pick you one by
one like a flower because I do
love you and love you not.
children, humorous, boy,
Giggling Girty became quite shirty
When her boyfriend was acting flirty,
With a handful of mud
Delivered with an awful thud
Her boyfriend is now dizzy and dirty.
The spring in my pants was so dandy.
She wanted to suck it like candy.
When she closed her eyes.
I gave my surprise.
Never saw a girl quite that handy!
For Francine Roberts "Wow me in 5 lines" contest
angst, art, beautiful, beauty, boyfriend, butterfly, caregiving, childhood, computer-internet, confusion, courage, cowboy-western, dance, dark, daughter, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, funny, girl, girlfriend, goodbye, growing up, happiness, humorous, inspirational, lost, lost love, nostalgia, peace, romance, romantic, sad, song, teen, time, uplifting, women, me, love, me,
Your love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and i'm
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried
by the dove of someone I use to know.
I knew of a guy called Dickey
Whose life became rather tricky
When he kissed the girls
They left pretty burls
Never showing us his hidden hickeys