Humorous and funny Bum poems and/or funny poems about Bum. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Bum funny poems!
Written by
Rizwana Bhurani
Categories:
children, funny, insect, kindergarten,
Bum Burns
Bum Burns
In the nearby park Uncle Johnny
With a big full round tummy
Touched group of red ants
They ran up in his pants
Badly bit poor Johnny's bummy.
Contest:Limerick II
Sponsor:Jan Allison
21.02 15
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humor,
A Fire Under Me Bum
All you friendlies here on the site
A fire under me bum you always ignite
Can't wait to arise
To converse with you guys
It's a pleasure, a thrill, a tremendous delight
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
John's Bum
A dear friend by the name of John W
Once with his doctor had a rendezvous
Doc figured out how come
He had moss on his bum
It'd been months since John's had a poo
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Amy Richie
Categories:
funny
Liar Liar Bum On Fire
Liar Liar Bum on Fire
How do I confess,
The lies I have told?
Which should I address,
Dare I be so bold?
The white lies,
I have told my share,
It will come as no surprise
Total truth I can not bare.
But what is the biggest,
The badest of them all?
My fourth grade spelling test?
The unanswered call?
Maybe it was the time
They asked how I was
I said just fine,
Isn’t that what everyone does?
Written by
Murray Mahauariki
Categories:
funny, life,
My Bum Fluff
I remember in my early teens,
being teased about my facial hair was really mean,
people would tease and they would poke,
always trying to make jokes,
but it wasn't just bum fluff to me.
Contest: FLUFF - Carol Brown
M.Mahauariki © 2012
1st place
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
Jeans Hanging Down Past Yer Bum
When did it become kosher to show your butt
Jeans hanging down showing your you-know-what
The crack in your hide
And hairiness besides
Should be a law to control these guys as they strut
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humor,
Definition of a Bum
Webster's defines “bum” as a lazy worthless person
Aside from the sitting aspect, I have a different version
Female bums are why men exist
Ogling these assets so hard to resist
Ignoring them is difficult, but it's a delightful diversion
Written by
Jerry Golden
Categories:
funny, music, parody, song-
Bum Fights
I’m poor, you’re poor
I’ll fight you for your door
Your box, your shoes
I’ll wish you many more
I’m poor you’re poor
There’s no exit from these doors
What for, what for
You unraveled on my floor
Adore your score
But your rash looks really sore
No more, no more
You’re slacking on your chores
I’m poor, you’re poor
I need lotion for my pores
Instead, I’ll fight you for your door
Your box, your shoes
I’ll wish you many more
I’m poor, you’re poor
There’s no exit from these doors
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
A Flame About Bum High
D'ya know what burns this guy's ***
A flame about bum high sometimes ignites the gas
An explosion follows closely
The odour is quite grossly
For creativeness I go to the head of the class
© Jack Ellison 2016
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, food, humorous,
A Real Country 'Bum-Kin' - For Lin Lane
This scarecrow is no country bumpkin
His bottom and head are ripe pumpkin
Touch him if you dare
He’ll give you a scare
By pricking your hand with a bodkin
Inspired by the picture Lin sent to me
25-09-17
Written by
Tom Higgins
Categories:
angst, food, funny, health, hope, uplifting, me,
Fatty Bum Bum
How did I end up in this state?
I'm always fighting with my weight,
I'd like to put it down to fate,
but that ain't honest!
I know for sure what I do wrong,
I've known the truth all along,
but I always sing a different song,
and that ain't honest!
I've tried to blame my family,
for passing the fat gene down to me,
and making me a big fat'B',
but that ain't honest.
So now I'm gonna face the fact,
I have to make me a slimming pact,
and with exercise I must react.
Now, that is honest!
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
games, humor, truth,
Nintendo's Wii U Got a Bum Rap
Certain people hate the Wii U, they call it a piece of crap.
But I like the game console and I think it got a bum rap.
It's no XBOX One or PS4 but it's not an abomination.
I believe it was good and that's not an exaggeration.
Yes, a few of its games do stink, especially Paper Mario: Color Splash.
When I played that game, I'd get so mad that I wanted to throw it in the trash.
Nintendo released the Switch when they axed the Wii U.
People hated the console and so it was discontinued.
I hated to see the Wii U fail, it has become another Dreamcast.
Certain people hated the Wii U and now it's a thing of the past.
Written by
Kim Rodrigues
Categories:
humor,
A Bum Fisherman
A BUM FISHERMAN
A fisherman’s wife waiting for her man.
The slight finger she lifts, for waving fan.
Grilled bass and crappie,
a cure for flappy?
The bum’s been devising a diet plan.
3/14/2018
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
hilarious,
Bum Copier
Twenty-three percent of all photocopier's malfunctions worldwide
Are caused by people sitting on them and taking a shot of their hide
Yep! Photocopying their bums
That's hilarious, oh what fun
When I showed my co-workers, their reaction was undignified
Written by
Trevor Mcleod
Categories:
9th grade, analogy, confusion, food, funny, humor, nonsense,
Hunger Bum
He sewed his bum
and had a hum.
And realized then
his hunger'd numb.
So what he ate
was smiling grace
When from behind
was craving's faced.
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humor,
A Bum Copier
23% of all photocopiers that malfunction worldwide
Is caused by people sitting on them, taking shots of their hide
Yep! Photocopying their bums
That's hilarious, what fun
When I showed co-workers, their reaction was undignified
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
family, funny, happiness, husband, wife
Does My Bum Look Big In This
“Does my bum look big in this”
Now, be careful what you say
Just a single wrong word
Could spoil a lovely day
“No, my dear it’s lovely
Your looking pretty trim
I don’t know how you do it
You always look so slim”
I think I got away with it
That’s put her at her ease,
She’s looking in the mirror now
Don’t look too closely, please!
Too late, she’s checking out her rear
Her bottom she’ll inspect
And if she isn’t happy
I’ll get it in the neck
“I like this dress, I’ll take it”
“Thank god” for that, I say
Now that shopping’s over
It’ll be a smashing day
© John W Fenn 08-01-2009
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
Know What Burns My Bum
Do you know what really burns my bum
A flame bout three foot six that's sure not fun
I yelp and scream
My ears emit steam
My eyebrows get singed whatta sad outcome
Written by
Nick Trim
Categories:
humorous, silly,
Hurt My Bum Hole
Physically ill after mentally drilled
It’s one or the other
I have one shield
Laying in my bed naked
the room shakes my head
as walls begin to cycle
Eyelids cover eyeballs
My stomach says hello my friend
My mouth immediately clamps shut
but the aim is towards the other end
I’m going to puke out of my butt
I make two fists clenching my colon
Unstoppable now flowing strong
i start to growl as inside I rumble
a very loud fart hurts my bum hole
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
funny,
Put A Wiggle In Your Bum
My limericks are silly and all bout fun
My attempt at putting those nasty blues on the run
I don't take this task lightly
Honoured and quite rightly
To be the one to put a wiggle in your bum
Written by
Matthew Herfurth
Categories:
humor,
Bum Fluff
Bum Fluff
I suffer
acute bum fluff
shortages.