Funny Poems About Car or Car Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Car poems and/or funny poems about Car. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Car funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Car Poems.

Poem Details | by Mary Nagy |
Categories: angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,

Princess Needs a New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: car, humorous,

Vodge Diper

The day started badly as I had a bat flattery on my vodge diper

It was roaring with pain when I arrived at the par cark at the mall
Went to put my bopping in the shoot and I turned into a bowel feast
I’d had a blushing crow… there was a rent in the dear
It had been hit by a bunken drum  - I was mopping had!

He tried to apologise but was whiring his slords
I got out my phobile moan and a policeman cook my tall
He arrived at the mall in his canda par at the lead of spite
After my lad buck I went home to tell dumb and mad
Dad teased my ears, said I could use the buttle shush until it was mended 

Contest: Spoonerisms Sponsored by Roy Jerden

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: car, for her, humorous,

Speedy Gonzalez - For Andrea

Andrea was late - drove at the speed of light Traffic cops chased her - she got such a fright The cop got out his book Gave her a stern look She’s off to traffic school so she now gets it right Posted with full permission of Andrea (speedy) Dietrich 2nd April 2015

Poem Details | by Jeremy Lile |
Categories: family, funny, happiness, passion, people, sports, car,

My Dream Car

My dream car is known to be one of muscle,
which can quickly get up and hustle.

The year would have to be nineteen hundred and Sixty nine,
best year of Camaro to come off the production line.

Orange in color with white racing stripes that line the hood,
along with new aluminum rims would be good.

Its engine would be a three twenty seven,
bearing a Holley Carb would be heaven.

To take it out on the road for a test,
assuredly it would be the best.

I would wash and wax it night and day,
in the garage is where it would stay.

Oh how that would be the car for me,
unfortunately one I’ll never see.

Poem Details | by Dorian Petersen Potter |
Categories: car, friend, friendship, funny, giggle, halloween, humorous,

Tim and His Kelly Green Mustang

I have a friend by the name of Tim, He keeps in shape when frequents the gym. His Kelly green Mustang he drove And smack'd it into a cove. The witches got him and ate one of his limbs! Dorian Petersen aka ladydp2000 copyright@2014 October,5,2014

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: car, humorous,

I'M In a Jam

I’m stuck in traffic Crawling like a slimy slug Why call it rush hour? 4th April 2015

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: car, humorous,

Two Lenses

When I was about sixteen I bought my first car a '37 Ford.
I thought I was hot stuff as about the town I roared!
It had straight pipes and a radio from which the music blared,
But for some reason my feckless youth the cops never shared!

Nowadays, kids with their noisy heaps drive me up the wall!
Their vexatious boom boxes and roaring pipes I can't tolerate at all!
They pull up beside me, flex their middle finger and with a silly grin,
Roar away leaving me in a cloud of dust much to my chagrin!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired

Entry for Sara Hendrick's "Two Lenses" Contest

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: car, humorous,

Second Chance - Driving Test

My driving I thought was sublime But I failed my test the first time Staring down at the wheel It was hard to conceal That failure to me was a crime So I applied to take another test Very determined I would try my best I answered every question And I drove to perfection The examiner was very impressed! Second Chance Contest Sponsored by Nayda Ivette Negron 09~01~16

Poem Details | by Elton Camp |
Categories: humor,

The Cow At the Car Wash

By Elton Camp

Tex had a longhorn he hoped to sell
But it was too dirty to do very well

It’d been lolling in the mud and dust
To get it all cleaned up was a must

So Tex pulled into the car wash bay
He put in coins and began to spray

He washed the critter nose to tail
Got it all ready for the cattle sale

But loading it back onto the truck
He got gored and was out of luck

So here’s the moral to this tale
Wash a cow and it may impale

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: animals, funny, imaginationcar, car, horse,

Three Hundred and Fifty Horses

There was a man who had a horse
Means of friendship and transportation of course
Everywhere the man did go horse was there for show
This horse began old to grow

To the used car lot the man did go
Selecting a car with many horses you know
Not knowing it was a lemon he bought
Now on the car he constantly sought

Parts to replace what would not go and
On one side the man would stand
Peering into the broken car with plan
On a stump on the other side

The horse would stand trying to guide
His friend on where the problem did lie
Also he was studying the working parts
Trying to figure out how all those horses fit inside

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Me As a Car

Beige sport's car with fifty-nine thousand miles.
Rag top (original color - brown).
Engine still runs great, but frame might
need some work. Body ok.
Awesome wheels and front end.
Fuel efficient too.
Vintage model-
A must-see!
(Not for

Poem Details | by Randy Johnson |
Categories: car, funny, humorous, women,

It's a Curse To Own a Hearse

Instead of being a chick magnet, my vehicle is a curse.
No woman will go out with me because I own a hearse.
I bought my hearse because it runs great and it was dirt cheap.
But when women see it, they slap my face and call me a creep.
I finally got a date with the woman of my dreams.
But when she saw my hearse, she ran and screamed.
Women don't want to make out where corpses have been.
Because of my vehicle, they won't date me, they find other men.
If you already have a bad love life, making my mistake will only make it worse.
Women will not date a man if he drives a hearse.  

(I got the idea for this poem from a TV show that I saw.)

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: car, humorous,

Always Pay and Display Or You'Ll Make Rita's Day

Sour Rita is a meter maid she’s checking car drivers have paid if you step out of line she will issue a fine of Rita drivers are afraid Her beady eyes dart round the lot she’s looking for folk who forgot to pay and display and it makes her day to impose a fine like a shot From fining she’ll never deter don’t attempt to reason with her - just zip up your gob she’s doing her job next journey arrange a chauffeur! 4/26/19

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: business, car, health, humor,

Guaranteed Weight-Loss Program

   Vast sums of money
     enormous chunks of time
   All spent on losing weight ~
     usually ruined by dinnertime

   It's really quite easy
     now I know that sounds cheezy
   But here's the one thing that works, brother
     Sell your car today, and don't buy another

   You'll walk everywhere
     have little time to spare
   for banquets and luncheons
     or to lie around potato chip munchin'

   And even if this radical step doesn't work
     you have my personal guarantee
   I'll sell your car back to you for what you took from me
     ~ sure enjoyed driving it for free

Poem Details | by Hilo Poet |
Categories: car, character, conflict, fate, humorous, imagery, perspective,

blind I see

are you blind madame not see the stop sign lady sign I saw~~not you

Poem Details | by Freddie Robinson Jr. |
Categories: car, humor, satire, trust,

Me and My Mechanic

Me and my mechanic,
we be tight
Whenever my ride goes down,
he get it running right
My mechanic is a real auto pro,
when I send my car to him,
nowhere else do I need go
And on top of that,
he works with your checkbook,
he's very affordable
If you don't have a mechanic like mine,
when your car stops running, you're gonna be
reaching deep in your pockets every time
Paying for this, paying for that
Paying til you're down to your last dime,
and you're broke and have to walk
I suggest you walk right on over
to this good mechanic of mine,
he'll get your car back running fine ...
and leave some money in your pocket too
Saving you some leather on the bottom of your shoe

Poem Details | by Eve Roper |
Categories: car, humorous,

Redneck Car-Limerick Contest Ii - For Fun

Redneck Car my redneck car is no junk eight cylinders, what a hunk beer cans over the floor to enter there’s no door the back seat is sometimes my bunk 2/18/2016 Poetry Contest: LIMERICK CONTEST II - FOR FUN Sponsored by: JAN ALLISON

Poem Details | by Mark J. Halliday |
Categories: car, desire, humor, lust, nonsense, silly, wife,

Muscle Car Envy

Thou shalt not covet
Thy neighbor's wife, nor his ***...
YOU mean his Corvette?

Poem Details | by Paula Goldsmith |
Categories: car, humorous, winter,

My Car

My car hit the ice                                                                                                  I have done it twice                                                                                          cars watch out                                                                                                now don't pout                                                                                                        I have no advice


Date Written: 12/28/2020
Note: Limerick Rhyme

5  Place
Winter Snow or Ice Limerick Contest Contest Judged: 1/8/2021                                                             Sponsored by:Tania Kitchin

Poem Details | by Mark Martin |
Categories: car, funny, humor, humorous, nonsense, technology,

Self Driving Cars - Bah

The car must become a freethinker
Case someone it might greatly injure
It clearly must steer
And brake and change gear
And give other bad drivers the finger

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny, car, old, car, old, sports,

My First Car - a Not So Rosy Story

My very first car was, I think,
a Monza, which was rosy pink.
At a somewhat cheap price,
that old sports car was nice,
but my luck with her sure did stink!

Cleaned and polished, she was looking fine;
I was happy to claim her as mine
although she was such
a hog! On too much
gasoline that old sports car would dine!

On a big trip I took her; I cried
to find out that her engine was fried.
From a crack in her block
she stopped working. Tick Tock!
Time is short; in six weeks she had died!

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: car, humor, political,

Blue and On Wheels

Can't be for an old Stanley Steamer
With Bernie my car is a screamer
With magnet en route
If you see me please toot 
It’s strategically stuck on my bimmer*

*This is the correct spelling for a BMW car or person.  Mine is a previously-owned (many times over) 3-series with 259,000 miles that we maintain.  Apologies for burning fossil fuel, but at least there is no depreciation to deal with.

Poem Details | by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: body, candy, car, humorous, tiger,

Sophistication 2

Red dress and black bra
Two big Macs
One Pepsi to go
On the road we kiss
At the rest stop comes the bliss

Poem Details | by Tamara Reyna |
Categories: funny,

My Janky Car

My Janky Car
crowed parking lot,
cars going every which way,
a honk,
the window roll down,
screaming woman,
You need to get a....,
life, I thought she'd say, 
but, new car I heard her scream,
laughed oh so hard did I,
screaming woman now transformed,
confused and irritated woman,
laughing still I drive away,
If only that woman knew,
3 x's a day I'd say,
I need to get  a new car,
though meaning to offend,
we strongly agreed,
not the reaction she wanted from me,
I won,
Ha ha He he.

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: car, confusion, drink, flower, giggle, humor, humorous,

nerd thief

there once was a thief from chile

who liked to drink milk with a lilly

well the judge was aghast

examining his past

but decided he was just silly.