Humorous and funny Chair poems and/or funny poems about Chair. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Chair funny poems!
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
goodbye, humor,
A Man and His Chair
His favorite chair had a broken spring
He was quite fond of the ugly old thing
But his brand new beau
Said ” this thing must go!"
And that was the end of their short lived fling
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
funny, sportsme, time,
From the Underside (Chair Speak Limericks)
Why is it you never show me your face?
My feelings are hurt, so you I’ll replace!
Find another on which to pounce
Each time your team takes a bad bounce
The damage you’ve done cannot be erased
Even my fine leather is marred with grooves
From all your fanatic football fan moves
Get off your duff, I must rebuff
You’ve made my lining far too rough
Each time you move, I hope the team will lose
I have already called a moving van
To transport me to a gentler land
Where people of grace sip green tea
Pontificating times that be
By dawn in my place you’ll find the trash can
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
grandmother, humorous,
Grandma's Old Rocking Chair
The cat invariably got his tail crushed as Grandma rocked in her old rocking chair.
Entry for Rick Parise's "One, One Liner" Contest
Written by
Joshua Lacey
Categories:
funny,
Beware Chair
Miss chair
Joke beware!
Meet floor
Hurt forevermore!
Written by
Barry Stebbings
Categories:
cat, humor,
A Cat Sat On a Chair
A Cat Sat on a Chair
Two chairs, a pair
A pair of chairs were there
By the stair
Two green chairs by the stair
Green wrought iron chairs, a pair
Very common, not rare
By the stair
Who’s chair’s, the pair?
A cat sat on one chair
A cat with long dark hair
On the chair
Another cat sat there
On the other chair by the stair
Two cats, very rare
On two chairs
A pair of cats, very rare
By the stair.
One cat left its chair,
Gone where?
Over there, with Claire.
One cat on one chair,
By the stair.
Barry Stebbings
01/25/2020
Written by
Christopher Hunt
Categories:
humor
The Chair From Hell
Whilst your lying in the chair
staring at the ceiling,
there"s every chance that you
will feel
that old depressing feeling.
Don't blame the dentist,it's you
fault,
you haven't taken care.
And now the pain is just so
bad,
its more than you can bear.
Twice a day is all takes,
to save yourself all this.
From now on brush those teeth
and smile.
And give that chair a miss
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous,
Archie Bunker's Chair
Nobody sat in Archie Bunker's chair
From which he bloviated with a flair!
He drove Meat Head up the wall,
With unmitigated gall!
Hapless Edith umpired to clear the air!
Entry for Joseph May's "Limerick 4" Contest
(1 February 2019)
Written by
Gordon Mcconnell
Categories:
funny, imagination, life, social,
A Chair
You sit upon it
giving your body rest
it has four legs
to hold whoever comes its guest
It’s made of wood or plastic
for it must be strong
as it never knows
whoever may come along
You get so many types
to suit your own household
from sizes large and small
and even ones you fold
Do you know the subject?
or do you need a clue
its first letter is C
but your hair would make it true
poetgord
Written by
James Edward Lee Sr.
Categories:
adventure, confusion, how i feel, humorous, sleep,
Napping Sleeping Falling Off a Chair- -
Shhh! quietly I nodded off nearly sleeping;
Hush!! Dogs barking outside reeling;
While I nodded nearly napping;
Mom looks at me as I’m breathing heavily;
While I nodded nearly sleeping;
While I nodded well-nigh sleeping;
Fell, fallen off the chair yet still sleeping;
Sleeping while I nodded nearly;
While I nodded nearly sleeping;
So I nodded still well-nigh sleeping;
As I am falling to the floor intimately sleeping;
1/7/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. ©2020
Written by
Sunlite Wanter
Categories:
age, humorous,
My Easy Chair
My Easy Chair
How beautiful is the world,
No fires, the news is all good,
I am travelling to Dubai,
On a trip from my neighborhood.
Isn’t it great I can fly the Concorde,
In luxury and perfect fly weather,
Sweet friends will sweep me up at landing,
I am free, and rich, and un-tethered.
Walking is no longer a problem,
My turkey this year is gleaming,
My children are laughing and get along,
Their thanksgiving smiles are beaming.
I haven’t forgotten an important thing,
My poetry is national fare,
I’m watching hula dancers in Hawaii.
It all happens in my easy chair.
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
character, humorous, parody,
In His Chair
In his chair he'll watch a movie
Traveling fast to parts unknown
In reach, a mini frig with beer
Oh, look how the kids have grown!
His back pain is a coincidence
It's been said he's in denial
Yes he has sores on his rump,
What is this, some kind of trial?
In his chair he gets all the news
Like there was a riot in France
A fire out west and floods down south
He saw a bear in a bar dance!
How can he keep all these places
In that small space beneath his hair?
He's not worried, for he has been told
There is a lot of room in there!
Written by
Thong Tran
Categories:
humorous, introspection, life,
Chair of Madness
And here I sit in my sitting chair,
An armless wooden failed repair.
Sores a grind of bone and cheap,
From junk pieces of a tree heap.
For what madness I do not know,
Must a chair be filled with woe.
A red bottom, I fear I'll face,
From a seat of devilish embrace.
But I think I shan't think such thoughts,
Of all that's thunk, but thought for naught.
Written by
Daniel Corcoran
Categories:
funny
Chair
Suddenly my chair says OW!
What's up I ask?
Get off, You're too heavy.
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
grandmother, humor,
The Old Rocking Chair
I took care as I placed my portly derriere in my Grandma's old rocking chair.
11-5-16
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
allegory, analogy, humorous,
Man Sitting In Big Chair
Man Sitting In Big Chair Poetry readers
are always interested in Horn Humor.
Went to local hairdresser with my wife
to have my hair touched up a bit which
it always seems to need when over 75.
Remember Let's Pretend Show. She said
she was once in DC and remembers one
thing about it. Here goes.
She was in DC and looked around everywhere;
Came home and the things started to compare;
She remembered a few,
But still never knew,
Who was important man sitting in a big chair.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Written by
George Aul
Categories:
humor,
Pull Up a Chair
I heard a loud knock at the door,
I was stunned for what was in store,
a red box I was handed
a long kiss was then landed...
house sitting's no longer a bore!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
giggle, humor, math,
Plopping Down in My Favorite Chair
I plopped down in my favorite chair
to my surprise it wasn’t there
That moment I made a calculation rare
~ how much weight the coccyx can bear
Written by
Fritz Purdum
Categories:
humorous,
New Chair
My new chair is big and tall
for a large fellow it enthrall
Faux leather soft as a lamb
automatic lift that never jams
Push a button on the side
your feet go up to relax high
Hold the button and the back reclines
it's pillow embraces your head for nappy time
Another push on a button and back as before
your feet once more on the floor
This comfort beast of celestial high
no weary soul could itself deny
The pleasure of relaxation to the max
sleep away this era of Covid-19 attacks
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
humor,
Chair Yoga
I sit in a comfy chair
...imagining me
…doing Yoga
Written by
Matthew Herfurth
Categories:
humor,
Leather Chair
Leather Chair
My leather chair shakes every time
pus-filled spots develop on
her back.To cheer Mrs Intimacy up (she wed my
old clock last spring. It was quite a good wedding, but it
was too long and I had to
sit – no slouch – at the end of
the warm hallway!) I spoil her with
all the compliments I can think of, and
all the
compliments she can handle to
make feel better one whom can’t
treat their skin disease.
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
humorous,
swing chair or module
Was it a swing or a chair? A module maybe?
It had a bunch of books, Nan counted eighty.
Whatever it was, it brought comfort to her.
The novels were amazing, the chair pretty pure.
She spent every night and weekend in there.
Telling everyone that her nook had better air.
It was built by her daddy, and it made her happy.
I was thrilled for her, said her cousin, Twee.