Humorous and funny Cheese poems and/or funny poems about Cheese. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Cheese funny poems!
Written by
Panagiota Romios
Categories:
friend, humorous, poetess,
Limburger Cheese Poetess
~~~~~
Sometimes I feel like a hunk of Limburger cheese!
Poets pass my poetry as if it had the great aroma
of unwashed toes and knees.
.
These poets are the ones who pretend to be my
PS friends?
But off in the distance, they live in Big Ego City,
just beyond the bend.
.
They avoid better poets than I,and tis no surprise!
Prancing about the soup with guile and smiling disguise!
.
So,it's a damaging, unkind game they play.
My peace...is knowing Karma is coming their way.
~~~~~
January 3, 2020
11:45 pm PST
Written by
Francis J Grasso
Categories:
funny,
My Blue Cheese Is
Pineapple pizza with pink pepperoni,
Buffalo wings and brown guacamole,
Little dead fishes in sour cream sauces,
Onions and garlic and greasy red sausage.
Cucumber sandwiches plastered with mustard,
Lemons and limes in a yucky green custard,
Fat happy chickens less all of their feathers,
Tomatoes, potatoes, my mother's hot peppers...
These are a few of my flavorless things!
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny,
Limburger Cheese
His desire was for a kiss or two
Those eyes danced with a gleam
She turned her head a kiss to dread
Increased his sexual steam
Everyday he wanted to play
French kissing in his dreams
She refused his looks and advance
Those kisses made her scream
Hairy did persist wanting to kiss
The Chihuahua did scheme
While she did sleep he kissed her feet
His eyes now danced agleam
He loved those feet he chanced to kiss
Like Limburger cheese cream
She had rubbed her feet to deter
his feats, she wasn't on his team
Just of fun..
This did not happen but the female Chihuahua
has French kissed my husband while he slept..LOL>>ROTFL
Written by
Lindsay Laurie
Categories:
humor,
A Cheese Amendment
The cheese board met with Mr. Insane.
As a block they want cheese to remain.
So Mr. President’s heading,
to ban packaged shredding,
to make America grate once again.
Written by
Rhoda Tripp
Categories:
food, funny, humor, humorous,
My Blue Cheese Is
My blue cheese is Limburger and it tastes like rotten meat.
Were I to put it twixt my toes, I would have stinky feet.
I once bought a big chunk of it, there's nothing I won't try.
It was the day that I did learn, be careful what you buy.
Being the person that I am, (I think I'm heaven scent)
And not to waste, a slice I put in my foe's car air vent.
Next day I got the 'evil eye' and I was very pleased.
I was not sure what I should do, so simply uttered "Cheese".
That nasty crap I'll buy no more for I'd be really dumb.
To those who make the rancid stuff, I'd say "it tastes of bum".
Written 1/6/18
Contest: My Blue Cheese is...
Hosted by Kevin Shaw
Written by
Seren Roberts
Categories:
funny,
A Crumb of Cheese
I am a mouse
From my house
I can spy......
A huge piece of cheese
Well its huge to me
I am a cat
From my mat
I can spy.....
A crumb of cheese
Wheres that mouse, I cannot see
I am that mouse
Waiting patiently
For that cat .....
To take a nap
So the cheese i can trap
I am that cat
Going to nap
Go ahead mouse ....
Go take the cheese
Eat in your house
Cos I am a tooo lazy cat and much toooo fat that loves to nap.
Cheese is yuck and so are mice, so neither entice.
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny,
Cell Phone Abusers -For Whine and Cheese
You’re at the intersection in your car,
that damn device held pressed against your ear.
You’re unaware, but we know who you are:
the one away from whom we all will steer!
My class has barely started. Suddenly,
inside the room is heard the strangest sound.
You leave - or worse - you talk right over me.
Is there no place a cell phone can’t be found?
I’m at the movies. Bleep, bleep, bleeping bleep.
Another one. . . and music starts to play!
And then you start conversing? Why, you creep,
you’re begging just to “make somebody’s day.”
Just turn it off! You think we love your voice?
NO, Big Shot, we're just victims with no choice.
An oldie from July 31, 2011
Written by
Michael Wise
Categories:
food, funny, humorous,
Ode To a Bagel With Cream Cheese
O delicacy born of
some cow's milk and dough
when toasted for breakfast
how I love you so
Whether topped with onions
or sesame seeds
or nothing at all
you fill all my needs
With texture from Heaven
the crunch and the cream
Mere toast cannot rival
this flavorful dream
Compared to your shapely
and sensuous curves
I'd never look twice
at a tray of hors d'oeuvres
You've stolen my heart
by now you must know
O bagel with cream cheese
how I love you so
© Mike Wise
6-5-23
Written by
Dan Kearley
Categories:
food, funny, humorous, smile,
Land of Cheese
A Sharp Cheddar sun,
with a Swiss cheese moon.
A Blue cheese river flowing,
with sweet Romano fumes.
A Parmesan pathway,
with some String cheese logs.
To enjoy the Asiago butterflies,
and the Fontina frogs.
Gouda birds singing,
in the Mozzarella trees.
Havarti caterpillars climbing,
on the Pepper Jack leaves.
Aged Cheddar flowers,
with Fontina bees.
A cottage cheese mountain,
and a Lorraine Swiss breeze.
Here I will stay forever,
in this lovely land of cheese.
If you care to stop by,
bring some crackers please.
Dan Kearley: 1-27-16 :o)
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
humor, satire,
Limerick Crochet: Once Swiss Miss Wanted To Make Cake With Cheese
Limerick: Once Miss Swiss wanted to make cake with cheese
Once Miss Swiss wanted to make cake with cheese
So she bought a cow, a dog and some geese.
The dog ate the gander
Geese laid no eggs for her,
So she locked the cow up in the deep freeze.
She called up her cousin in the French Alps
Through melodious yodeling yelps.
French cousine long in bed
Kept boiling her own blood,
So she blew the long mountain horn for help(s).
Her cousine germaine, a stout dairy maid
Answered her urgent melodic raid:
“Put the dog in manger,
Let cow sup in anger!”
Eh presto! Milk turned to holed-cheese sans aid!
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
anger, humorous, pets,
Cheese and Whine
I despair when I’ve stepped in dog poo
Excrement on the sole of my shoe
It would be indiscreet
If I crapped in the street
I wish doggies would use a pooch loo!
I mowed the grass but now feel forlorn
I see cat poo all over my lawn
My neighbour’s pussy
Is so darn fussy ...
It's just my lawn that he treats with scorn!
Here’s my whine now pass the Cheese Contest
Sponsored by Phillip Garcia
08~01~16
Written by
Kevin Shaw
Categories:
blue, food, funny, word play,
Blue Cheese
Blue Cheese
There is Cheshire, Red Leicester, Emmental and Brie,
Double Gloucester and Edam, a delight for all to see,
Stilton, Caerphilly, or Cheddar mature and mild,
Lots of subtle flavours to drive my taste bud’s wild.
There is Lancashire, Wensleydale or Derby to please,
So why, oh’ why, would you serve me Blue Cheese?
That smelly Blue cheese you know I cannot stand,
Give me Shropshire Mild, or something rather bland.
I don’t want that stinking dairy, in my salad box,
Opening the lid to an odour of sweaty socks.
So, hear my request I am begging of you please,
No more, no more, of that smelly blue cheese.
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
animals, funny, imagination, pets, visionary
Who Cut the Cheese
feline for hire
mouse at it again
cutting the cheese
Written by
Dorian Petersen Potter
Categories:
addiction, food, funny, giggle, hilarious,
Crackers and Cheese
(Limerick)
There was an old man who loved crackers.
But got beat up by lots of attackers.
He went to his house
And talked to his mouse
Who said " Go, bring me more cheese and crack'rs!
Dorian Petersen Potter
aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014
September 8, 2014
Written by
Laura Breidenthal
Categories:
food, funny, life,
Cottage Cheese
Cottage cheese is a delightful treat when anyone is sombre!
Take a bite, in spite of spite,
And you'll be quite the charmer!!!
(explodes into gay rainbow random confetti)
*inspired by obscenely old, gay bearded wizards*
Written by
Tom Bell
Categories:
adventure, allegory, animals, food, funny, parody,
The Goat Cheese Craving Disease
A clever work indeed,
But you must really need,
Either a doctor or a goat,
It's up to you to vote,
In this poem you come acrostic,
To shepherds as diagnostic
As a woman a tad too caustic,
Of their herd's fruit a bit bombastic
I think they see with herder's eye,
You had too much Shepherd's Pie!!
Ha! Ha!
Written by
Ironic Zink
Categories:
analogy, giggle,
Cheese and Wine
Ants
And uncles' too
They get under my goat.
Skin crawling little lactose tolerant yokes.
"Holy guacamole, pass the cheese."
Says Uncle Whine O.
Hold the phones stop the press I gotta go.
Look at me
Look at me
Ant Hen says to Uncle Fren
Here buddy let me hold that for ya while I soak ants with my pee.
Gossiping about me creating mountains that are more closely related to as hills.
That lazy bum can't even pay his own bills.
He lies, cheats, and steals.
Truth be told I hate ants like for reals.
8/14/16
Written by
Sara Chansarkar
Categories:
humor,
Then and Now-Cheese and Whine
Oh, I love your raven lustrous silky hair
He used to say, touching it with such care
Now—strands clog the bath vanity
Why don’t you donate it for charity?
I give him my deepest pulverizing stare
Written on:08/02/2016
Contest:'Cheese and Whine' by Phillip Garcia
Written by
Thomas Martin
Categories:
food, humorous, word play,
Cheese
Oh god, not another slice of cheese!
Please,please my plea, No please.
But that lovely gouda,
that calls to me loudah.
Well! maybe a small slivah for peace,
Written by
Phillip Garcia
Categories:
appreciation, funny, poets,
Nothing But Goat Cheese
Old Willy’s ice-box housed nothing but cheese.
Row after row of perfect pillars packed
with gouda cheese, bleu cheese, mascarpone cheese
and a bit of brie (though for cheddar lacked)
all sealed in air-tight capsules and aligned
in such a way that no available space
went to waste. When his health declined
and failed in 1616, his cheese faced
a litany of tests as physicians
marveled at how it seemed to resist
decay or time induced decomposition,
the results of which have since been published
and studied by goats like me who mock that cheese
while hypocritically writing poems like these.
11/19/2018
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
animals, funny, imagination, nature, seasons, visionary,
Say Cheese
towering racoons
pose for a candid snapshot
amidst trunks skirting
Written by
Sharon Downer
Categories:
food, funny, love,
Ode To the Cheese Crispito
Although we all know it,
you can't spell out perfection,
and our stomachs to it we commit,
under our seasoned inspection,
the smell is in the air,
so thick we can almos taste its glory,
O how we try to not stare,
and like a wolf with its quarry,
we leap at it with great joy,
the texture O so splendid,
unmatchable by any false decoy,
the only thing we ever did,
was eat the Crispito.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
fish, food, how i feel, humorous,
My Blue Cheese Is - King Prawns
When I see a king prawn in its shell
Some vomit I want to expel
This fish food I despise
With ten legs and two eyes
It’s really my idea of food hell!
I baulk when a king prawn is peeled
and that witchetty grub is revealed
It makes me feel sick
I look away quick
My disgust just cannot be concealed!
My Blue Cheese is Contest
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw
07/01/18
Written by
Freddie Robinson Jr.
Categories:
food, fun, humor, parody,
Food Hate Shout Out - My Blue Cheese Poetry Contest
There one very peculiar foodstuff
that puts a sour crook in my mouth
It’s that stringy don’t-give-me-any-of,
two thumbs down for the sauerkraut
Just the awful smell of it makes me sick,
has me running out of the house so quick
When my nose whiff this jar of pain opening,
that chef in the kitchen no longer’s my friend
That pickled odor is an aroma of pure disgust,
makes a beautiful snooz look like a pig snout
Upheaval of my belly contents is a queasy must:
Gotta give sauerkraut the food hate shout out!
Poetry Contest: My Blue Cheese
Sponsored by: Kevin Shaw
Date Submitted: 1-13-18
Written by
Ralph Sergi
Categories:
humorous,
Mac and Cheese
MAC AND CHEESE
Macaroni is Italian
And pasta is another name
With flavor garnished with a sauce
A dish that we can all acclaim
Cheese is kin to everything
As olives, bread and tasty wine
Even blue cheese tows the line
But if you can , I beg you , please
Do not serve me mac and cheese
Quasi Velveeta and processed as well
Butter, milk and other ilk
all mixed together, goo from hell
This combo doesn’t ring a bell
Yellow yellow how I bellow
Throw some green in for a change
So this staid food won’t be deranged
Ralph Sergi©