Humorous and funny Cooking poems and/or funny poems about Cooking. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Cooking funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
food, humorous,
What Didn'T Kill Us - My Mother In Law's Cooking
I endured burnt offerings at the table -
A meal ‘cooked’ by my mother in law
If I hadn’t been married her lovely son
I’d have walked straight out of the door!
I heaved at every charred mouthful
Smiled, and said the meal was ‘divine’
She told me she’d had cookery lessons
But her food was only fit to feed swine!
Is my poem just a fairy story
Or is it a clever allegory?
What Doesn’t Kill Us Contest
Sponsored by Laura Loo
74 words
02~24~17
Written by
Joseph Sergi
Categories:
funny, giggle,
Summer Cooking
Summer Cooking
Its summer time you know what that means,
We move the grill out for all to see.
Stainless Steel shining in the sun,
Five burners! Yea that’s the one!
Then the family comes over and the heat is on
You’re thinking to yourself “this is not fun”
Sweat is pouring down and rolling in your eyes,
And the smoke rises up to the sky.
Burgers and hot dogs fly off the grill,
You think to yourself when will they be fill?
Summer cooking in the hot sun,
I can’t wait until winter comes.
JSergi
7/4/2018
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
clothes, humor,
A Weird Cooking Misadventure
Felines have a versatile paw
That unfolds a razor like claw
An apron has strings
That cats see as playthings
While scratching chef's butt 'til it's raw
Author's Note: This story was related to me by an attractive and shapely associate who claims she sometimes works in her kitchen dressed only in her bra and an apron.
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
funny, history, imagination, native american, places, seasons, visionary
Whats Cooking
mojave desert
one hundred and one in shade
can cook egg on rock
Written by
Harry Horsman
Categories:
funny,
Harry-Elaine Cooking With Wine
My wife loves to cook with wine
when friends come around to dine.
sometimes when she’s in the mood
puts some in the food.
© Harry J Horsman 2011
Written by
Joyce Johnson
Categories:
brother, funny,
When Daddy Did the Cooking
My brother was first at the table
to pile six pancakes on his plate.
I don’t know how he stayed so skinny
given the enormous amount that he ate.
My daddy had made the hot syrup
from white sugar or so he had thought.
After one bite my brother was choking,
hair rising as though he’s besot.
Then Dad yelled ,”Don’t pour the syrup.
Instead of sugar, I grabbed Epsom Salt. "
Won No. 5
Written by
Gerald Dillenbeck
Categories:
adventure, analogy, betrayal, creation, humor, longing, wisdom,
Cooking Up Stories
Why would I care enough
to open your recipe story?
Why don't I care enough
to pour you in to enrich mine?
I love your wild seasoned willingness,
can't say the same for our salty willfulness
to exchange our sweet belonging
for side-by-side sour longing.
for being karma's relentless instructions
when we could more peacefully
become simple incarnate
co-productions.
Prime cooking together
feeds my soul to yours,
organic compost
sublime breakfast
wild voiced beings
with choices
stir-flying nice.
Freedom from recipe's half-baked inwardness
evolves freedom toward half-fried out hypothesis.
Natural nutrients grow strong values
folding our stories with care.
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
dad, dog, food, fun, humor, together, uplifting,
Whats Cooking On the Grill
Fire up the grill ~ let's all eat
Dad's steak now well done
Hot dogs for doggy and me
Granny potatoes
Mom veggies with salt
Say blessing
Eat
Date Written:5/31/2022
4 Place
Whats Cooking on the Grill this Summer Contest
Sponsored by: M. L. Kiser
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
food, fun, humorous,
Summer Cooking
In summer some folks barbecue
It’s something that they often do
Foul smoke is so wispy
Food’s burnt black and crispy -
When proffered I’ll say no thank you!
I enjoy eating food which is cool
I’ll prepare it and lie by my pool
Here’s something I’ve learned
Salad cannot get burned
It’s delicious, and sure makes me drool
Summer Cooking Contest
6/26/18
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
food, fruit, humorous,
Hot Stuff In the Kitchen - Cooking Disaster
When cooking some stewed plums and custard
Distracted, I ended up flustered
They tasted so weird
and sadly I feared
I’d added a dollop of mustard!
Fiction write!!
02/01/18
Written by
Daver Austin
Categories:
food, funny
Cooking School (Fibonacci)
COOKING SCHOOL (Fibonacci)
Flour
Dough
Knead it
Give a spin
Itsa nice anda round
Then put it ina the baking pan
Now sauce adda you choice of veggies mozzarella
Put it in the oven Mamma mia! What aroma!
Hey! How bouta some pizza!
Written by
Kim Rodrigues
Categories:
humor,
In Short-Cooking Is Not Her Sport
Joan’s spouse requests surf and turf.
Bob’s stature and beard - a smurf.
In short, she plays cute,
Puts on a wet suit.
She climbs iron board to surf.
Bob tells her to get on down.
His ask, does not make her frown.
She winks as he guides
And rolls with the tides.
She’s hot off the plate, his clown.
7/16/2022
Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Lisa YY
Written by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen
Categories:
abuse, career, character, confusion, corruption, funny, health,
Doctors Cooking Sick
Cooking sick in different tastes
All these doctors
Eating money is routinely happening
The one’s in veterinary
Eating their own patients
All what’s heartening!
Written by
Joshua Lacey
Categories:
funny
Ode To Cooking
Cooking at Valeo
Always so much fun
Cooking at Valeo
Gobble when we're done!
Cooking at Valeo
Don't catch yourself on fire
Cooking at Valeo
It's my heart's last desire!
Written by
Subimal Sinha-Roy
Categories:
funny,
Summer Cooking
In summer, sluggish sense of sloth he gets,
lazy time passes him by, he forgets.
In hot kitchen he doesn’t go,
keeps whipped eggs on portico.
He snoozes in shade, sun cooks omelets.
Written by
Subimal Sinha-Roy
Categories:
funny, summer,
Summer Cooking
In summer, sluggish sense of sloth he gets,
stops the lazy time, for clock’s hands he sets.
In hot kitchen he doesn’t go,
keeps whipped eggs on portico.
He snoozes in shade, sun cooks omelets.
Written by
Martin Howard Samuel
Categories:
bird, food, humorous, silly, word play,
What's Cooking?
Altho' fearless it was flightless
I do declare
and when it found itself earthbound
was the dodo despondent in despair
or even think
it would become extinct
if it knew it was in
deep doo-doo
somewhat akin
to the the missing link
unafraid of man
who thought them dumb
as they come on the quiet
an easy prey for sailors
a whole new different dinner diet
but there was nothing to be done
for suspiciously delicious
history they could never outrun
or ever leave Mauritius