Humorous and funny Cowboy poems and/or funny poems about Cowboy. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Cowboy funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Cowboy Poems.
Poem Details | by
Elton Camp |
Categories:
humor,
By Elton Camp
Tex had a longhorn he hoped to sell
But it was too dirty to do very well
It’d been lolling in the mud and dust
To get it all cleaned up was a must
So Tex pulled into the car wash bay
He put in coins and began to spray
He washed the critter nose to tail
Got it all ready for the cattle sale
But loading it back onto the truck
He got gored and was out of luck
So here’s the moral to this tale
Wash a cow and it may impale
Poem Details | by
Gracelyn Mims |
Categories:
funny,
There Once Was a Cow
That Didn't Know How
To Moo
Like Normal Cows Do.
He Took Lessons From the Duck
But Didn't Have Any Luck.
He Tried With The Quail
But That Was a Fail.
He Asked the Pig
Who was Really Quite Big
But Even He Didn't Know How
To Moo
Like Other Cows Do.
He Asked the Horse
Who Was Brilliant, Of Course.
He Thought it Was Funny
And Said 'Go Ask the Bunny.'
He Tried and Tried
Then Was Hit By a Plow.
And Died as the Cow
That Didn't Know How
To Moo
Like Normal Cows Do.
Poem Details | by
Emile Pinet |
Categories:
humorous, imagery, satire,
There once was a chef named Lew
who swore Samuel's words were true
that Sacred cows make
a great tasting steak
and the best hamburgers too.
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Quote by Samuel Clemens (A.K.A. Mark Twain)
(1835-1910) U.S. humorist, writer, and lecturer.
Poem Details | by
Richard Breese |
Categories:
animal, farm, giggle, humor, humorous, image, silly,
once an old cow named mckuen
her cud she always was chew'n
we asked please explain
when she crossed our lane
shor beats a' stand'n 'n moo'n.
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
humorous,
Did you ever see a cow with a green eyebrow
If you did, you'd best lay off the hooch
Hooch in moderation is acceptable
But if you see a pink elephant fly by your window
You have definitely over indulged
Another sign is when the things you say
Don't exactly match what you're thinking
Such as instead of saying, “You have nice boobs”
You actually say “bice noobs”
Has a nice ring to it as does “a great sackbide”
Hey I don't make this stuff up you know!
So getting back to that strange looking cow
If you haven't been drinking... and you see one
Run, don't walk, to the nearest shrink!
© Jack Ellison 2015
Poem Details | by
Arthur Vaso |
Categories:
animal, england, hilarious, horror, humorous,
The farmer said to the cow
Be quiet you old sow
To which she replied
I am not a pig, I am a mooing cow!
He looked at her mockingly
Saying "That is yet to be determined"
She huffed and puffed as he called the butcher.
Whether she was a cow, or a pig or even a one legged chicken
She is now the silent one.
For on the table she sits
A rightful dish along with the haggis
The Fox shall enjoy his menu de la soir
Roasted and basted
Merry Christmas to one and all!
Poem Details | by
Andrea Dietrich |
Categories:
funny,
There's a cow pie in the yard.
So what do you think?
Is it bull?
(Cow pie is American slang for cow dung & "bull" is the
abbreviated form of a vulgar word meaning something foolish
or useless. Anyway, it's a play on words that I hope translates
ok for the non native English speakers here)
For Dr. Ram Mehta's Contest on Quinzaine Poems
and now for PD's "any poem under 5 lines #1" - Poetry Contest
Poem Details | by
Drjim Martin |
Categories:
funny,
Lazy Cow
Dr. James E. Martin
©May, 2013
The cow loved to chew her cud
As she lay in the cooling mud.
She was lazy you see,
As lazy as could be,
Some would even say she was a dud.
Poem Details | by
Laura Leiser |
Categories:
animal, funny,
I think my MOO MOJO has let me down
that HE bull, Morris, just grunts and frowns
he doesn't even glance around
when I pass by, I'm just another COW.
Those devilish twins, Dan and Dick
sneak out at night to play their tricks
while I try to sleep, they go COW DIP
and knock me down, they need a good WHIP.
And every morning, when Sally MILKS me
she pulls so hard, it nearly KILLS me
It's an UDDER shame, one day, you'll see
I'll KICK her good, when she ain't looking!
I'm in a baneful MOOD, I feel so alone
Just wandering along, I MOO and I MOAN
I chew my old CUD and aimlessly roam
Wish I weren't filled with these dang HORMONES!
Written on 2/19/2016
Poem Details | by
Larry Belt |
Categories:
funny
I had a cow with only one udder
She never gave milk to make my butter
Her udder was hard to pull
But I found out she's a bull
Thinking back now really makes me shudder
Poem Details | by
Tahera Mannan |
Categories:
funny
There was a young thin cow of Holland
She would love to laze around on hot sand
Eating grass was well past
She wanted to have a blast
By munching organic fruits freshly canned
Poem Details | by
Spandan Karmakar |
Categories:
funny,
No cow,no milk
no milk now,
I will go,
my mom will go
to bring our cow
from Tokyo.
Poem Details | by
Harshath Vidheya |
Categories:
farm, funny, humor, humorous, society, truth, world,
A Cow Entered Politics,
Retired as a Buffalo.
A Cow Entered Pakistan,
Ended up Cooked.
A Cow Entered America,
Her Visa Revoked.
A Cow Entered North Korea,
Kim Jong-un Drank all the Milk.
Poem Details | by
Aniruddha Pathak |
Categories:
humor,
Cow-dung cakes getting sold in a blink,
So it seems in India one may think.
Duly gift-wrapped and given,
To get with someone even,
Pretty sweet revenge proves with that stink!
___________________________________________________
Online shopping seems to have taken India by storm that would include even cow-dung cakes-- one of the most currently popular gifts ordered—often with a request to gift-wrap before delivered. And stocks run out, an eight piece package may cost up to 400 rupees. Hope, I won't get one for this ditty.
_________________________________________________________
Happenings | 08.03.2017 |
Poem Details | by
Katherine Stella |
Categories:
fantasy, funny, visionary
Write Now {4 sec}
Holy Cow
Entry For Matt Calir
Write Now Contest
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
humorous,
Here's a humorous fact about moo cows
They moo in an accent from the region they chow
Mind blowing if true
Dug it up just for you
Big guffaws this hilarious tidbit allows!
Poem Details | by
Sidney Beck |
Categories:
humorous,
THE COW NOBEL PRIZE MYSTERY
How come more cows
Don’t win Nobel prizes
And trophies of different sizes
With questions of why s and how s ?
It’s not the size of their feet
Nor their horns nor their udder
Nor the lack of an intellectual rudder
Which makes them easy to beat
No - they’re just much too lazy.
It’s far easier to cow-walk
Than to argue and cross-talk
In a meadow hot and hazy.
So, in Nobels they’re always last;
But if these cleft-foot guys wise-up
They’d soon be picking a prize up
And the size of their prize would be vast.
Poem Details | by
I Have Forgiven You But It Will Never Be The Same |
Categories:
funny
The cow goes moo
when he's taking a poo
then he says boo hoo.
cause it just sits there
and hangs.
then it slowly slides out.
For My sister Maddy.
Poem Details | by
Cheryl Hoffman |
Categories:
animal, humor,
His parents had a cow when he was born
a speech impediment made them forlorn
instead of a moo
he'd let out a boo
scaring the herd all night and morn.
10-23-17
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
hilarious,
Have you ever gone to a pet shop and asked for a cow
Being very specific, one with a green eyebrow
Seems kinda strange
Leads to a weird exchange
Said they sell goats and giraffes but cows the city won't allow
Poem Details | by
Robert Velves |
Categories:
anger, anti bullying, betrayal, career, conflict, faith, humorous,
Pray? But then, round and round and round..
Why can't it be done now,
Perhaps hum the incantation sound
And dance around the holy cow.
A lot of stars in a constellation
Perhaps one of them could bless a vow
Perhaps you could avoid damnation
If it's delegated to a holy sow.
So place the flowers and ornaments
Around the hooves of the holy cow
To be noticed of your moral torments,
Sing, dance, by compunction do bow
The least you can absolutely do:
Be polite when your sins are under review.
May the forest be rich for your office
Perhaps hang a picture of the holy cow
If luck favors the brave,then kiss the orifice,
I'm damned because I don't know how!
March 4, 2018
Poem Details | by
Elton Camp |
Categories:
humorous, car,
The Cow at the Car Wash
By Elton Camp
Tex had a longhorn he hoped to sell
But it was too dirty to do very well
It’d been lolling in the mud and dust
To get it all cleaned up was a must
So Tex pulled into the car wash bay
He put in coins and began to spray
He washed the critter nose to tail
Got it all ready for the cattle sale
But loading it back onto the truck
He got gored and was out of luck
So here’s the moral to this tale
Wash a cow and it may impale
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To see the supporting picture, copy and paste into your browser:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/125100419/The-Cow-at-the-Car-Wash
Poem Details | by
Robert Gorelick |
Categories:
humorous, satire,
The cow waltzes around
The lamp post three times
MOOOO!
Cow’s milk
Mother’s milk
The milk of human kindness
Why weren’t you kind
To me mother?
Why were you cruel
To me father?
Why did you warp my soul?
The cow tangos around
The lamp post four times
And weeps
12/22/21
Poem Details | by
Robert Gorelick |
Categories:
analogy, animal, humor,
The cow waltzes around the lamp post three times
MOOOO!
Cow’s milk
Mother’s milk
The milk of human kindness
Why did you not love me mother?
Why did you demean me father?
Why does dusk’s fading aura not bid me good night?
The cow tangos around the lamp post four times
and weeps