Humorous and funny Cowboy poems and/or funny poems about Cowboy. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Cowboy funny poems!
Written by
Terry Flood
Categories:
humorous,
Cowboy Hat
Why does my new girlfriend always wear a cowboy hat
She lives in the big city in a high rise council flat
I gazed up at the window of her flat up in the sky
And when I did a bloody pigeon did one in my eye
So as I walked away I’m wiping poop to clear my sight
But droppings kept on plopping on my shoulders left and right
All I could do was duck and dive and try to dodge the splats
I looked around and everyone was wearing cowboy hats
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
adventure, cowboy-western, education, children, funny, happiness
Trader Joe
< once there was a man named trader Joe
could do nothing with hair so let grow
under big coonskin hat
fleas tick and his pet rat
mercantile's just say Oh Hell No
once there was saloon name lucky spur
where traders brought in their hunted furs
in walks old trader Joe
miss Molly said let's go
now both itch scratch from leftover burrs
Written by
Mark Toney
Categories:
fun, horse, humorous, poetry, word play,
Hipster Cowgirl and Cowboy
Woman
Whoa, man!
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
cowboy-western, funny, old, old,
Cowpoke Meyers
There was once an old cowpoke named Meyers
For decades he'd rode an old hoss named Squires
He'd roped steers and fixed fences
Enjoyed beer and square dances
And was bowlegged as a pair of pliers
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Written by
Glen Enloe
Categories:
cowboy-western, funny, social,
Cowboys Don'T Wear Crocs
Although there be some debatin’
‘Bout if ol’ cowboys wear socks—
I can tell you fer a dern fact,
That true cowboys don’t wear Crocs.
They just don’t fit a stirrup right,
And bright colors scare the stock—
I’ll sure nuff shoot the first cowboy
I see wearin’ a new Croc!
Oh, we talk of Old West legends
Like our Jesses’ and Hickoks—
But I hope I never do see
Cowboys herdin’ in their Crocs!
And when that great cattle Master
Lays me low beneath the rocks—
Just make sure I’m wearin’ my boots
And not a pair of them Crocs!
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
adventure, caregiving, cowboy-western, education, fantasy, funny
The Naked Truth
< our top story tonight is Lawyers
a pain in the *** and real spoilers
with fancy cars homes suits
fifteen hundred kaboot
rather hire cowboy wearing just spurs
Entry For Carolyn Devonshire's
Lawyer Limerick's Contest
GL All
Written by
Clifford Villalon
Categories:
animal, farm, funny,
Donkey Of Your Eye
Donkey in the farm, strong hoofs romping
Wonky when you charm, long spoofs hooting
Donkey standing as you stare, shy when you dare
Teeth grinning as you glare, dry when you blare
Sweet and gentle that sire, donkey of your eye
Lifeguard under fire, wise and clean with your lye
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
heaven, humor, religion, boy,
The Cowboy and Beelzebub
Off to the Church this Cowboy went
For Sunday to him was Heaven sent
But as he took to his pew
Suddenly into their view
Beelzebub, he, now present
Imagine the screaming now starting
To the exits they're simply departing
But this Cowboy remains
Against Beelzebub's deign
Oh the odours of the leaving farting
To the Cowboy, Beelzebub says
In a broken down language display
Are you frightened of me
Am I stronger than thee
Not really, who do you think you portray
For Satan I am, but you never have fears
No matter what I say, leaves you no tears
So simply, what can it be
That your not scared of thee
I've been married to your sister for years
.
Written by
Glen Enloe
Categories:
cowboy-western, food, funny, social,
Cowboy Toe-Foo
I think that I shall never see
A cowboy that eats toe-foo—
Sech a dern thang jest could not be
In this ol’ bunkhouse crew!
Real men eats beef an’ pork an’ beans—
And all thangs within their reach—
Us real cowpokes drink coffee black—
Turn noses up at quiche!
Veggies should stay in ranch gardens—
These lips will taste no yogurt!
Good stew and biscuits make amends—
Seaweed makes bellies hurt!
Give us jerky or give us death—
Give us beans till we’re all blue—
But with all your strength and your breath—
Don’ serve us no toe-foo!
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
adventure, cowboy-western, fantasy, funny, history, imagination
Let's Duke It Out
< Once came along an man named John Wayne
Winchester by his side causes more pain
Dusty trails ballroom brawls
Battlefield's muddy crawls
The duke of western inflicting gains
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
adventure, animals, cowboy-western, funny, imagination, inspirational
Slow Poke
not even herdsmen
can gather all the pokee's
at the dinner bell
Written by
Drjim Martin
Categories:
funny, boy,
Cowboy
Cowboy
Dr. James E. Martin
©April, 2014
College educated – all are not.
Outdoors they are – quite a lot.
Wintry weather slows them never,
Built they are for inclement weather.
Overtly driven by a style that’s unique,
Youngsters this lifestyle often seek!
Written by
Thaomi Pham
Categories:
fun, future, giggle, soulmate,
Country Boy Come This Way
I'm a city girl,
looking for a cow boy.
He'd teach me how to twirl
to the folk dance near the bay.
I'll listen to him yodel
and watch him feed cute horses hay.
There won't be a note he can't handle
cause he sings and plays the guitar everyday.
He'd take me around the world
with his big old truck while he screams, "Make way!"
I'll want my life to be simple:
raise children, make sure the crops are okay, etc.
On the porch swing, we'll cuddle.
Moon lights and shooting stars flash away.
...here's a bucket for you to hurl,
but I'll marry a country boy one day!
Written by
Tom Higgins
Categories:
cowboy-western, funny, write, write,
On Clint Eastwood's Birthday
For a fistful of dollars,
I'd write a new 'happy birthday.'
For a few dollars more.
I'd even write the score.
To avoid dirty Harry,
the good, the bad, and the ugly, I'd marry.
And for the man with no name,
I'd most likely, do the same!
Tom Higgins
Written by
Larry Bradfield
Categories:
humor,
The Best There's Ever Been
The day that boy was born, God showed his Texas side
Gave a Divine chuckle. said, "That boy oughta ride!"
At one hour old God put a twinkle in his eye
"The makins of a cowboy that'll make gals sigh."
He bowed the little legs just enough for swagger
Fixed his feet for cowboy boots so's he won't stagger
God trimmed his hips and waist so he'd fit the saddle
Straightened his toes and knees so they didn't spraddle
The years passed by as he won all there was to win
He grew old and was called "The best there's ever been."
When he died they found on his back a small tattoo
"My son, you were born to rodeo! - See that you do !!"
September 30, 2016
Written by
Jimmy Anderson
Categories:
dedication, funny,
A Cowboy Is
Acrostic:
A Cowboy Is
Alert
Courageous
Objective
Wise
Brave
Overworked
Youthful
Important
Scholar
Limerick:
There once was a cowboy name Joe.
Who took his girlfriend to a show.
The lights were turned low.
Her lips he did blow.
It just goes to show Joe did go!!!!
*For Tirzah Conway's "A Cowboy Is" contest
Written by
Larry Bradfield
Categories:
humorous,
A Young Cowboy Named Homer
There was a young cowboy named Homer
Who broke bronchos and was a roamer
The girl that he called hon
Said,"When all's said and done,
Those bronchos are breakin' your gomer."
3-10-18
Written by
Christopher Lampton
Categories:
funny love, humor, lust, boy,
Dirtbag Cowboy
it smells like sex in here he said as
he walked into the bedroom
it's time to put some clothes on
we have a busy day
she only has one request
before she can get up
a jack daniels on ice
that's what she needs
to start this thing out right
here are your panties and bra
and what was your name again?
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
humorous,
Cowboy Alan
One day to a big ranch rode Alan
a wearin’ his hat, a ten-gallon.
With his horse and his rope
he had plenty of hope
he’d excel in the job of corralin’.
May 5, 2022
Trying this in A Brian Strand Premiere Choice Poetry Contest
Unfortunately RhymeZone will not take unusual ways of rhyming the -ing form the way Americans often pronounce it.
Written by
Glen Enloe
Categories:
cowboy-western, funny, nature,
Cowboy Haiku
He done stepped in
And it weren’t nothin’ too good,
Just a small road kill.
Written by
David Wallace
Categories:
adventure, cowboy-western, funny
The Masked Lawman
The masked stranger
Tenderly the ranger stood
With kitty in his arms
The saloon fight had rendered her
Enraptured by his charms
His easy strength and gentle face
Though hidden by his mask
Left saloon Kitty faint of heart
Almost afraid to ask
‘Say masked stranger
Are you the law?’
She mewed in melting tones
‘I am,’ the stranger answered
‘This racoon rides alone.’
And so the legend started
Of a masked and lone lawman
Though others have
in other times
Adapted his lone stand.
Written by
Regina Mcintosh
Categories:
funny, hilarious, horse, humor, humorous,
Cowboy Up
Appaloosa, Mustang or Paint
Breeds to ride and love, breeds who ain’t
Broken by pain or heartbreak
But show them a rattlesnake
That horse won’t have much self-restraint
Put Your Best (ONE) Limerick Forward (be like Rico Leffanta)
Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich
February 21, 2023
Written by
Thomas Wells
Categories:
crazy, fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous
Nevada Cowboy
There once was a cowboy from Nevada.
He wore a barf bag as a bandana.
When he rode on his horse,
his sickness grew worse,
and his intestines flared with melena.
Written by
K River
Categories:
humor, humorous,
Ole Bones Charley
here lies ole bones charley
he pleyd dem bones smartly
rekin now he be apleyin hsself
Authors Note:
Please leave a comment good or bad let me know what you think.
The spelling,grammar errors are done intentionally.
It is my attempt to keep within the 1800's era writing style.
A writer in that time period was lucky to be able to write their own name.
Written by
George Aul
Categories:
cowboy-western, funny, satire
A Cowboy Is
"I should have been a cowboy"
Toby Keith sings in his song;
I should have been a cowboy
breaking horses all too strong...
I could have been a cowboy
sitting high up in the saddle,
but my job wouldn't be easy
since I have to tend to cattle...
I would have been a cowboy
if I was just one foot taller,
but those jeans aren't made
for someone fatter and smaller...
I might have been a cowboy
if I had lived out in the dust,
but I was born in the East
and stayed to watch it rust...
Alas, I never became a cowboy -
not sitting high, not very strong;
but I do wear my cowboy boots
whenever I sing with Toby's song.
For "A Cowboy Is" contest sponsored by Tirzah Conway.