Humorous and funny Daughter poems and/or funny poems about Daughter. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Daughter funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
father daughter, health, humorous,
Sugar Daddy - Two Lenses
Childhood Days
I’d heap spoonfuls of sugar in my tea
I wouldn’t drink it without it you see
That sweet syrupy drink
Wasn’t poured down the sink
Every single drop was supped up by me!
Adulthood
Dad’s diabetes made me think -
Did I need to sweeten my drink
So I cut sugar out
And I don’t have a doubt
I’m slimmer and I’m in the pink
Contest: Two Lenses
Sponsor Sara Kendrick
02~20~16
Written by
Mary Nagy
Categories:
angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life
Princess Needs a New Car
Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '
'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust!
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.
'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much,
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'!
Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter
My Princess
When I grow up, will I still be princess?
Of course, says glowing daddy.
A roll of the queen’s eyes.
Written by
Moonbee Canady
Categories:
daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love
Its Raining...
Its Raining…
God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…
who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again
Amen
Written by
David Bose
Categories:
humor,
Farmer Brown's Daughter
When Farmer Brown’s daughter grew busty,
The men pulling turnips grew lusty.
Brown then had to choose
Which shotgun to use
If one of those hands proved untrusty.
Written by
Jessica Wheeler
Categories:
creation, daughter, fun, funny, humor, mother
Poop- There It Is
No pushing or breaking of water
It was a c-section that brought her
But this is about
What wouldn’t come out
A poop just as big as my daughter!
Perhaps it was pain medication
To clog up and cause constipation
Nurse said I must show
They won’t let me go
Till poop- there it is- defecation!
Determined, I pulled an all-nighter.
That turd was a hell of a fighter.
And then with my tush,
Turns out I did push!
And poof! I was seven pounds lighter!
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
daughter, funny, wife
Cockney
A cockney from over the water
Had a wife and a tasty young daughter
They would lead him a dance
And he stood not a chance
Cos they both never did what they oughta
Written by
Eve Peterson
Categories:
child, daughter, funny, son,
Rubber Duckie
Rubber duckie you're the one
You're the reason I'm the one
Rubber duckie
You're the one for me
Written by
Cindi Rockwell
Categories:
crazy, daughter, funny, mother, mother daughter,
Momma Knows Best -- For Contest
Momma always told me,
"Children should be seen but not heard."
'Til I streaked through her Garden Party
And muttered not a word.
Momma always told me,
"The best birth control is an aspirin held tight between your knees."
But my boyfriends ALL had headaches!
Glad I put their heads at ease!
Momma always told me,
"They won't buy the cow if they get the milk for free,"
So I never served my best beaus milk,
Just liquor, wine and me!
Poor momma had another saying,
"You'll be the death of me!"
Momma, you were always right!
There was arsenic in that tea.
7/1/15
Written by
John Posey
Categories:
dad, family, father daughter, humorous, sister,
Daddy's Mantel Clock
Daddy had a mantel clock on that shelf above the fire.
I remember how it sometimes seemed to call my Sis a liar.
Sis would be out on a date and the wheels of time would turn
My dad, it seemed would always be awake when she returned.
Now Daddy was quite strict on Sis – at nine she must be in.
And she was in real trouble if it was as late as ten.
“Darlin’, what’s the time?” he’d yell as she slipped in..
“Daddy, it’s about nine,” she’d shout, as that old clock struck ten.
Written By John Posey
12/25/12
Written by
William Masonis
Categories:
daughter, funny, life,
The Bulldog's Car Wars
She and vehicles,
Adversaries forever,
No quarter given
None asked on either side.
The metal beasts smell money,
Wound themselves to devour it.
It doesn't matter
How she tries to hide her cash -
Spitefully they sniff it out
Dying gleefully,
Knowing she must resurrect
Their thankless, thieving thick hides.
O you willful ones,
You steelclad dromedaries,
Do you think you can defeat
The Mighty Bulldog?
She never wants Will - just Ways.
Once found - you're dispensible.
Written by
David Sollis
Categories:
child, daughter, family, girl, grandchild, humorous
A 4 Line Poem For H
I know a little girl named Hannah
A pretty, bashful and quiet child
But when she goes to visit Nanna
She eats too much chocolate and goes wild!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
child, christmas, conflict, father daughter, humorous, parody
Parody of the Beatles Song - Yesterday
Christmas Day
Pa threw all my new toys away
Now my friends won’t want to come and play
Cos I was naughty yesterday
Suddenly
All the gifts disappeared from ‘neath the tree
Now the carpet’s bare for all to see
Pa snapped at me so suddenly
Why I had to drown our old cat
I cannot say
She fell in the loo so I flushed
the cat awayyyyyyyyyyy
Christmas Day
Pa threw all my new toys away
Santa delivered them on his red sleigh
But when Pa is mad, there’s no leeway
Purely Fictional write inspired by hearing Yesterday on the radio
09-11-17
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
clothes, humorous, mother daughter,
Green Sleeves - Bawdy Limerick Edited
Val’s daughter was picking her nose
Then wiping snot on Val’s new clothes
When Val finds sticky mess
Of green slime on her dress
The distress in her quickly rose
Green bogeys all over her sleeve
So slimy they make poor Val heave
To resolve this issue
Hands daughter a tissue
But bogeys on dress will not leave!
Val’s outfit that once was pristine
Is covered with snot of bright green
To compound Val’s distress
She cannot wash this dress
Dry cleaning should get her dress clean!
each stanza 8,8,6,6,8 checked with how many syllables
3/14/19
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
child, children, daughter, dedication, fantasy, funny
Lefty Louie
Once was a man named lefty Louie
Tried robbing corner store Oh phooey
Little did he come know
Ten sensei's Ready go
Here there nothing felt but Ka Pooey's
Tribute To
Marshall Arts
Written by
Martin Kloess
Categories:
car, daughter, father, funny, humor, student
People Help Survivors After Storm Drives Through a Town
The people who were still alive
Helped other survivors revive
All this didn’t bother
An excellent father
Who just taught his daughter to drive
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
anger, humorous, mother daughter, teenage,
Spoilt Brat Footles
‘Princess’
in mess
Flicks hair -
Beware
Bad mood
Is rude
She whines
At times
She pouts
And shouts
Mummy …
DUMMY!!!!!!!!!!
Stamps feet
Retreat!
Can clout –
Watch out!
Prissy
Missy
Spoilt brat –
Hate that!
5th June 2015
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
daughter, family, children, funny, mother, work
The Worlds Greatest Invention
I’ve got a great invention
I use it all the time
It does the things that I should do
It always works just fine
It cleans my room it tidies up
And puts my stuff away
Does chores I don’t have time to do
So I can go and play
I never have to worry
If I run a little late
I find my meals are cooked for me
And ready on a plate
It doesn’t need much maintenance
To make it sweetly hum
Just a little oiling,
With the words “I love you mum”
© John W Fenn 14-02-2009
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
humor,
Limerick: Once Step-Father Gave Daughter Away
Limerick: Once step-Father gave daughter away
Once step-Father gave daughter away
But first exercised his rights of sway
Droit de cuissage decree*
Gave to Wife repartee:
Doubled their joy now in every way!
* In European feudal societies during the Middle Ages and thereafter
in succeeding centuries, it is thought that
the Lord of the Manor or Seigneur of the Serfdom arrogated for himself
the Droit de cuissage, i.e. the right to sleep with the bride of a serf on
the wedding night.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2014
Written by
Dialectic Crisis
Categories:
angst, father, father daughter, father son, funny, integrity
Existentially Deconstructing the Knock-Knock Joke Into the Perfect Moral Tale
"Knock-Knock!" - Who's there?
"Diaphragms!" - Diaphragms who?
"Diaphragms...Don't always seem to work...
...I don't know how else to tell you this...
...So I am just gonna say it
as politically correct
and incorrectly apolitical
as I've been reprogrammed to speak
by The Disney Company:
"Luke, I am your sperm donor!"
- I sure hope I don't disappoint you as much
as George Lucas disappoints God and such..."
Written by
John Trainer
Categories:
birth, father, father daughter, humorous, universe,
The Birth of a Thought
I gave birth to a thought today
A shiny little supposition
It wept about all the possibilities
Endless creativity
Directionless refractivity
Like protons racing around an atom blaster
My thoughts began to multiply
It was the Big Bang of my Universe
Then I heard the voice of an angel
Say, “Daddy, this is my science project.”
And now the birth of a thought
Gave birth to a Black Hole
Written by
Mike Toole
Categories:
birth, celebration, child, funny, teacher,
Grand Daughter Arrival, Praise the Lord
Your teacher always said in math,
You wasn't very bright,
As when you did your adding up,
You never got it right.
And though it appears so very sad,
Twas teacher didn't know how to add,
After all these years, to your delight,
It's evident you are quite bright,
You see your math was always right,
For it happens just to be,
That if you combine a loverly Lisa,
With one fine looking fella,
The product is an angel,
A precious gift called Ella,
So the moral of this story,
And it was always meant to be,
Is that teacher was so very wrong,
As one and one makes three.
Written by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories:
funny
Mutated Daughter
There was an old man named Lawter
He mutated an onion, a donkey and his daughter
The experiment went well
As you can tell
She now has an *** that make your eyes water
© 2000
Written by
Anna Hopper
Categories:
daughter, fantasy, giggle, imagination, my child, simple
Molly
A twinkle of light in the midnight sky
Giggles, cuddles and a sweet lullaby
She sweeps through the house with her barefoot toes
Leaving a trail of glitter everywhere she goes
Written by
Melissa Gregg
Categories:
daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, mother
Graduation Day
Her eyes dancing with excitement
The joy cannot be contained
Today is graduation day
My sanity regained!
Her red gown pressed so neatly
Cap perfectly on her head
Tears are coming to my eyes
No matter what I said!
Call her name, Come on let’s go!
Across that stage so brave
One hand open, One hand up
Tell me she’s not going to wave!
The crowd goes wild for my little girl
She blows kisses to us all
Hands are waving in the air
Please look out for the wall!
As she disappears from my sight
Her big debut’s been made
I can’t believe it’s finally over
Here we come 1st grade!