Humorous and funny December poems and/or funny poems about December. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious December funny poems!
Written by
Key V.
Categories:
autumn, december, february, funny, summer, weather, winter,
Weather
I hate the cold weather, whether to say the least,
the cold weather hates me, i slipped and fell last week,
plus the warm weather's better, i'd rather sweat than freeze,
put the ice in my drinks not in my socks and sleeves,
the reason i feel this way, stems from two things,
maybe i'm a fall guy, with wants to see some leaves,
or i just miss the summer days with vitamin ray beams,
either reason or way my thoughts remain oblique,
because i hate the cold weather and cold weather hates me.
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
business, funny, holiday, philosophy, time,
December 21, 2012
The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
children, funny, nature, seasons,
- First Day In December -
I woke up this morning to a white glow
Outside it has dropped a white blanket of snow
I want to make a snowman named Joe
He shall have a red hat on, he becomes easy to know
It's cold and it's starting to blow
I rush into my house, it's cold on my toe
01.12.2012
A-L Andresen :)
Written by
Brenda Atry
Categories:
funny, introspection, life, december,
Oh Wolverine
December 12.2012
The scales are balanced, great joys ,vast heartache, deep rooted love.
Age withered appetite ,no food, nor travel desired, memories rekindle want ,but not drive.
A weekend with Hugh Jackman can surely re whet my palate, oh wolverine on high!
Brenda Atry December , 2012
Written by
Richard Lamoureux
Categories:
humorous,
June Or December
He carried June right to his bed
With promise that they would be wed
But her sweet honey pot
Was much hotter than hot
He came out missing his "head"
He looked straight down at his member
It's head burnt off by her ember
She was so hot and bold
He much preferred the cold
It might grow back in December!
A Lamleen production
Created with my friend Eileen Manassian.
Written by
Tonytocaa Camacho
Categories:
december, dream, humor, silly,
Dreams and Things
Staring up at the ceiling floor
As the big hand on the clock
Races past one
Hearing the mouse rouse out of his
Long sleep
To gather tidbits and play
While the pussycat full belly and all
Lounges blissfully counting mice
Feeling a drop of sweat on my brow
As the fan turns upside down
Not day dreaming at night silly
Just dreaming today
A sunny Beautiful day
In...December
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny, holiday,
December - Cwistmas Dinner At the Fudds
Hewwo and Mewwy Cwistmas dearwest Bugsy!
Season's gweetings to you Daffy D!
So gwad you fwew out this way
Bwess my bones, if it ain't Wosemite Sam!
(Pweeze weave your shotgun in the guest womb)
Good gwacious, it's my owed fwiend Porky!
Petunia! You wook absowootly wavishing
Come in and rewax; take a woad off your...
Anyway, the hog is woasting on the wotisser...
I mean the boid is bwowning in the ov...
Wabbit stew is simmerwing on the sto...
Uh, Bugs, Dere's cwunchy cawwots in the pantwee
Daffy, I beweave there's fwesh fwog in the fwidge
Porky, I frew out some weft-overs wast week
Wet me wun out back and check...
And Sammy, twy not to shoot out the wights...
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
car, december, destiny, drink, giggle, humor, silly,
the first rudolph
once an old cabbie named fred
had a nose that glowed bright red
when a call from a bar
put an elf in his car
and now he leads santas sled.
Written by
Girisha Suneja
Categories:
best friend, december, funny, future, girl, green, student,
Dont Tell
don’t ask! don’t tell!
Daddies in the well.
Its ok you wont go to hell,
don’t ask ,don’t tell !
Never kiss and tell,
don’t tell lies ,go into your shell,
I asked ,I told ,
Now am in a hole.
Living like a hermit,
Washing off the scabs of shame,
Believing I’ am to blame.
don’t ask! don’t tell I’ am drowning in the well.
Sinking into the depths of hell,
Floating all alone.
Written by
Minister Jenna Williams
Categories:
humor,
December 21, 2015
To Mrs. Emma
Oh the weather
outside's not frightful
So the fire is
Not delightful
But as long as
U love Chuck so...
Pray for snow,
Pray for snow,
Pray for snow.
Written by
Minister Jenna Williams
Categories:
christmas, humor,
December 22, 2015
I'm living in a wet Christmas
Just like the ones I've never known
Where the treetops drip-drop
And houses plip-plop
From all the rain that has fallen
I'm dreaming of a dry Christmas
Just like it won't b for this year
May your days b merry and bright!
And may the clouds reveal some sunlight.
Written by
Howard Kerr
Categories:
christmas, color, creation, cute, december, fun, funny,
Debit Card Folly
Jingle bells my sleigh ride’s broke
Gaudy gifts for “ice cool” folk
Diamond pay card season blind
Misspent flurry on mankind!
Date posted : 18 th December 2020
Contest : Christmas Chastushka Rules Revised
Sponsor : Andrea Dietrich
Written by
G. Jay
Categories:
christmas, funny,
From the North On December 24
Finally, it is that time of the year
Lights, eggnog, with all the Christmas cheer
Father was singing noels
Then hearing jingle bells
Mother said, “It’s only the rain, dear”
Written by
Alyssa Burgin
Categories:
december, humor, sky, stars, weather, winter,
Don'T Forget
Midnight skies
and wondering clouds,
makes it hard to see the stars.
But don't forget
they're always there,
even when the night seems harsh.
The coldness
slowly creeping in,
makes you want to sleep.
But don't forget
there isn't snow,
without the lack of heat!
Written by
Joe Sandler
Categories:
anxiety, celebration, christian, christmas, december, humorous, snow,
Santa's Covid Crisis
Oh god.Bad news from the North Pole.
The pandemic has taken it's toll.
Santa is in quarantine.
Tested positive for Covid19.
Do not worry for there's somebody
Who's tested positive for Covid antibodies.
Had the disease and now is immune.
Santa's duties she will assume.
She's the one who'll save the day.
Misses Claus will drive the sleigh.
She'll dress up just like her hubby.
She just won't be quite as chubby!
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
funny, world,
If You Think the World Will End December 21st
If You Think the World Will
End on December 21st
By Elton Camp
You have good reason for panic and fright
After all, the Mayas very well may be right
Money & jewels will be valueless on that day
So it’s sensible for you to give them all away
If you do, then you will be able to travel light
And to find a way to survive, you just might
Although your riches will be a hindrance to me
Send them along and I’ll accept them for free
Anyone out there who’s a believer true
There’s good reason that this you’ll do
So if you hope to survive the coming mess
Please contact me for the mailing address
Since this world so soon will be no more
Make sure they arrive here the day before
Written by
Jean Bush
Categories:
animal, bird, cat, december, food, funny,
Catfucious 7
Dinner's singing in a cage.
A feast for me this Christmas Day.
Ouch!! My neck!!
Written by
Regina Mcintosh
Categories:
christmas, december, funny, hilarious, holiday, humor, humorous,
The Christmas Gift
She opened her gifts on Christmas morn
Beneath the paper, a gift she’d scorn
Lacey Panties unflawed
She thought, "what a tightwad!"
Panties in a wad since they’d been worn!
A Funny Christmas or December Holiday Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
November 27, 2022
Written by
Luqman Samin
Categories:
cheer up, december, funny,
Dua-Liners-1
The oat is my hatred;
but The Quakers are my beloved.
Two crackers that are well-known;
the one that is eaten and the one that will be blown.
One fact that all can see;
there is no 'C' in the mid of the sea.
Real tips about daddy are true;
One for the baby and one for you.
Written by
Heather Crismond
Categories:
december, endurance, funny, humor, humorous, irony, mountains,
December Rain
December in the central California mountains
Pine scented air tickles my cheek
Hinting at the peace to be found here
We incautiously wish for the sound of rain
Missing the calm lullaby of Mother Earth
Song became a roar
Our poor tent could not withstand
Ill-timed wish granting
03/27/21
Moments Of Reflections - Haibun Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Malabika Ray Choudhury
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
chanukah, christmas, december, giggle,
O Chanukah, Dear
O Chanukah, dear
my problem is clear
You arrived way, way
too early this year
What's a fellow to do
your candles all through
Potato latkes all eaten
dreidels spun, weather-beaten
Still no snow on the ground
yet to come Christmas sounds
While holiday gifts they are wrapping
Chanukah's tucked away, napping
Alas and alack, please make up your mind
never again to fall so far behind
12/25, Chanukah! next year, do you hear
if you expect me to be of holiday cheer
Written by
Daisy Ward
Categories:
christmas, december, fun, humor,
Prancer Poke
Prancer gave Dasher a poke
It was so hard that he had to soak
His ribs were still sore
As he heads to the door
He pranced to the song, backstroke
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
december, humor, winter,
Scant Solace In the Solstice
She found scant solace in the solstice
Holy Stockings! ~ Frozen feet now toeless
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
celebration, christmas, december, funny, kiss, nature, silly,
Mistletoe
mistletoe season ~
time to pucker up and kiss
the dung on a stick
Written by
Jane David
Categories:
candy, chocolate, christmas, december, funny, night, snow,
Holiday Fun
Santa sang as he approached the streets.
Couldn't wait to give out some treats.
From the window, he looked East.
He saw there was a feast.
Rode back and had all the sweets.
Frosty got so bored inside on a Monday.
He came out and walked along the way.
He had put on new glasses.
Stood beside a campfire outside the classes.
He cried and watched himself melt away.
Rudolph took Elf on a walk at night.
It was quite dark, his nose shone bright.
Loud Christmas bells made elf's ear slack.
Laughing at elf's ear, nose turned black.
Rudolph couldn't help but run out of sight.