Humorous and funny December poems and/or funny poems about December. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious December funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other December Poems.
business, funny, holiday, philosophy, time,
The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend
autumn, december, february, funny, summer, weather, winter,
I hate the cold weather, whether to say the least,
the cold weather hates me, i slipped and fell last week,
plus the warm weather's better, i'd rather sweat than freeze,
put the ice in my drinks not in my socks and sleeves,
the reason i feel this way, stems from two things,
maybe i'm a fall guy, with wants to see some leaves,
or i just miss the summer days with vitamin ray beams,
either reason or way my thoughts remain oblique,
because i hate the cold weather and cold weather hates me.
children, funny, nature, seasons,
I woke up this morning to a white glow
Outside it has dropped a white blanket of snow
I want to make a snowman named Joe
He shall have a red hat on, he becomes easy to know
It's cold and it's starting to blow
I rush into my house, it's cold on my toe
A-L Andresen :)
He carried June right to his bed
With promise that they would be wed
But her sweet honey pot
Was much hotter than hot
He came out missing his "head"
He looked straight down at his member
It's head burnt off by her ember
She was so hot and bold
He much preferred the cold
It might grow back in December!
A Lamleen production
Created with my friend Eileen Manassian.
funny, introspection, life, december,
The scales are balanced, great joys ,vast heartache, deep rooted love.
Age withered appetite ,no food, nor travel desired, memories rekindle want ,but not drive.
A weekend with Hugh Jackman can surely re whet my palate, oh wolverine on high!
Brenda Atry December , 2012
december, dream, humor, silly,
Staring up at the ceiling floor
As the big hand on the clock
Races past one
Hearing the mouse rouse out of his
To gather tidbits and play
While the pussycat full belly and all
Lounges blissfully counting mice
Feeling a drop of sweat on my brow
As the fan turns upside down
Not day dreaming at night silly
Just dreaming today
A sunny Beautiful day
Hewwo and Mewwy Cwistmas dearwest Bugsy!
Season's gweetings to you Daffy D!
So gwad you fwew out this way
Bwess my bones, if it ain't Wosemite Sam!
(Pweeze weave your shotgun in the guest womb)
Good gwacious, it's my owed fwiend Porky!
Petunia! You wook absowootly wavishing
Come in and rewax; take a woad off your...
Anyway, the hog is woasting on the wotisser...
I mean the boid is bwowning in the ov...
Wabbit stew is simmerwing on the sto...
Uh, Bugs, Dere's cwunchy cawwots in the pantwee
Daffy, I beweave there's fwesh fwog in the fwidge
Porky, I frew out some weft-overs wast week
Wet me wun out back and check...
And Sammy, twy not to shoot out the wights...
car, december, destiny, drink, giggle, humor, silly,
once an old cabbie named fred
had a nose that glowed bright red
then a call from a bar
put an elf in his car
and since has lead santas sled.
best friend, december, funny, future, girl, green, student,
don’t ask! don’t tell!
Daddies in the well.
Its ok you wont go to hell,
don’t ask ,don’t tell !
Never kiss and tell,
don’t tell lies ,go into your shell,
I asked ,I told ,
Now am in a hole.
Living like a hermit,
Washing off the scabs of shame,
Believing I’ am to blame.
don’t ask! don’t tell I’ am drowning in the well.
Sinking into the depths of hell,
Floating all alone.
Minister Jenna Williams
To Mrs. Emma
Oh the weather
outside's not frightful
So the fire is
But as long as
U love Chuck so...
Pray for snow,
Pray for snow,
Pray for snow.
Minister Jenna Williams
I'm living in a wet Christmas
Just like the ones I've never known
Where the treetops drip-drop
And houses plip-plop
From all the rain that has fallen
I'm dreaming of a dry Christmas
Just like it won't b for this year
May your days b merry and bright!
And may the clouds reveal some sunlight.
christmas, color, creation, cute, december, fun, funny,
Jingle bells my sleigh ride’s broke
Gaudy gifts for “ice cool” folk
Diamond pay card season blind
Misspent flurry on mankind!
Date posted : 18 th December 2020
Contest : Christmas Chastushka Rules Revised
Sponsor : Andrea Dietrich
If You Think the World Will
End on December 21st
By Elton Camp
You have good reason for panic and fright
After all, the Mayas very well may be right
Money & jewels will be valueless on that day
So it’s sensible for you to give them all away
If you do, then you will be able to travel light
And to find a way to survive, you just might
Although your riches will be a hindrance to me
Send them along and I’ll accept them for free
Anyone out there who’s a believer true
There’s good reason that this you’ll do
So if you hope to survive the coming mess
Please contact me for the mailing address
Since this world so soon will be no more
Make sure they arrive here the day before
december, humor, sky, stars, weather, winter,
and wondering clouds,
makes it hard to see the stars.
But don't forget
they're always there,
even when the night seems harsh.
slowly creeping in,
makes you want to sleep.
But don't forget
there isn't snow,
without the lack of heat!
anxiety, celebration, christian, christmas, december, humorous, snow,
Oh god.Bad news from the North Pole.
The pandemic has taken it's toll.
Santa is in quarantine.
Tested positive for Covid19.
Do not worry for there's somebody
Who's tested positive for Covid antibodies.
Had the disease and now is immune.
Santa's duties she will assume.
She's the one who'll save the day.
Misses Claus will drive the sleigh.
She'll dress up just like her hubby.
She just won't be quite as chubby!
Finally, it is that time of the year
Lights, eggnog, with all the Christmas cheer
Father was singing noels
Then hearing jingle bells
Mother said, “It’s only the rain, dear”
christmas, horror, humor,
HO HO HO - Santa is on his way
OH OH OH - There goes my pay
Indiana Shaw . . . : (
animal, bird, cat, december, food, funny,
Dinner's singing in a cage.
A feast for me this Christmas Day.
Ouch!! My neck!!
cheer up, december, funny,
The oat is my hatred;
but The Quakers are my beloved.
Two crackers that are well-known;
the one that is eaten and the one that will be blown.
One fact that all can see;
there is no 'C' in the mid of the sea.
Real tips about daddy are true;
One for the baby and one for you.
chanukah, christmas, december, giggle,
O Chanukah, dear
my problem is clear
You arrived way, way
too early this year
What's a fellow to do
your candles all through
Potato latkes all eaten
dreidels spun, weather-beaten
Still no snow on the ground
yet to come Christmas sounds
While holiday gifts they are wrapping
Chanukah's tucked away, napping
Alas and alack, please make up your mind
never again to fall so far behind
12/25, Chanukah! next year, do you hear
if you expect me to be of holiday cheer
christmas, december, funny, hilarious, holiday, humor, humorous,
She opened her gifts on Christmas morn
Beneath the paper, a gift she’d scorn
Lacey Panties unflawed
She thought, "what a tightwad!"
Panties in a wad since they’d been worn!
A Funny Christmas or December Holiday Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
November 27, 2022
december, endurance, funny, humor, humorous, irony, mountains,
December in the central California mountains
Pine scented air tickles my cheek
Hinting at the peace to be found here
We incautiously wish for the sound of rain
Missing the calm lullaby of Mother Earth
Song became a roar
Our poor tent could not withstand
Ill-timed wish granting
Moments Of Reflections - Haibun Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Malabika Ray Choudhury
christmas, december, fun, humor,
Prancer gave Dasher a poke
It was so hard that he had to soak
His ribs were still sore
As he heads to the door
He pranced to the song, backstroke
december, humor, winter,
She found scant solace in the solstice
Holy Stockings! ~ Frozen feet now toeless
december, humor, time,
November arrived...barely spoke, got a
to-go plate...is now leaving,
backing out of driveway