Humorous and funny Dick poems and/or funny poems about Dick. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Dick funny poems!
Written by
Richard Lamoureux
Categories:
humorous,
Sliver Dick Limerick For Contest
There was a hurting fellow named Dick
He had a rather pointy small prick
He rubbed it all day
without much delay
pulling it out it looked like a stick
For Jan's limerick contest. Now I will go read the directions.
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
Thin Dick
There once was a lad named Dick
He was tremendously thin like a stick
Fell through a crack
And never came back
Probably met up with some thin chick
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Black Eyed Susan
Categories:
funny,
Dick Tracy
If I were a boy I’d wear mini skirts
I wouldn’t be manly for what it’s worth
I love girly things
Like ribbons and rings -
I’d be a sexy transvestite who flirts!
3/25/12
For Frank's "If I were a boy" contest
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
birth, body, humorous, men, people, relationship, success,
A Greedy Dick
A greedy Dick's seed
will hardly succeed.
Volodymyr Knyr
2017
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
dedication, funny
He Swore On Moby Dick
He
Didn't swear
On "Bible"...
But "Moby Dick"
No!
From the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes"
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, sexy,
Uncle Dick - Bawdy
My uncle is married to Brandie -
A nympho who’s frequently randy
If she’s in the mood
He’s no chance of food -
Their dining table comes in handy!
Limerick Fun Poetry Contest
Sponsored By Tania Kitchin
08/29/20
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, fun, funny, humorous, light,
Dentist Named Dick
There once was a dentist named Dick
He inflicted pain with a kick
A patient named Fred
Was soon seeing red,
So he jumped down and ran out quick.
Written by
Shane Solomon
Categories:
funny
"mr. Dick?...Please Stop!"
"Mr. Dick?...Please Stop!"
telling lies, saying girls spun to perfume humor
while daunting pearl lips
"Mr. Dick?...Please Stop!"
sucking boys ego!
it makes wooden virtues halt
"Mr. Dick?...Please Stop!"
laughing along with burly
turkeys that gobble in vain
"Mr. Dick?...Please Stop!"
spanking babies bottoms
and dressing with hip-huggers
"Mr. Dick?...Please Stop!"
wearing cotton/polyester ties
and spandex free underwear
"Mr. Dick?...Please Stop!"
worsening the situation
and soften to blow
then... we can be friends
again
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
funny,
Dick and Jane
Jane says that
Old Dick is dead
Along with painting
And the guitar
That technology
Has replaced them
And put them in storage,
IN museums and on digital tapes
But that when
The technology is down
She prays
That Old Dick
Will show up
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Uncle Dick Extended - Bawdy
My uncle is married to Brandie -
A nympho who’s frequently randy
If she’s in the mood
He’s no chance of food ...
Their dining table comes in handy!
My uncle he dresses so dapper
Whilst Brandie resembles a slapper
Tight tops plunge so low
Huge boobies on show
Their neighbours wife sure wants to slap her
The neighbour’s husband has now clued
That Brandie sunbathes in the nude
He’ll climbs up his stairs
And views all she bares
To 'bird watching' he is now glued!
Part 1 written for Tania's contest but i couldnt resist extending the poem
08/30/20
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
humorous, political, satire,
Ode To Tricky Dick Nixon
When they said Nixon's name, my wife would mew
"Please don't vote for him in '72." ---
I said, "Think what we'd miss."
Before telling her this ---
"Why switch Dicks in the middle of a screw?"
Written by
Jan Hansen
Categories:
absence, humor,
Dick and His Cat
Dick and his cat
I was in the deep depth of youth
sitting in a library struggling through
Dick Whittington and his cat.
Looked the fable up on Wikipedia
and was disappointed,
Dick and his cat were different
from my recollection
I had the cat and Dick walking
to London
In my fantasy world, the story was
much richer, so I will stick
to my version
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
cool, fantasy, giggle, passion,
Tricky Dick - Not Nixon, Lol
Sophisticated, debonair, dashin'
Epitome of ultra-cool passion
They called him Tricky Dick
Thought himself mighty slick
Slipped on her runway ~ came to... spent, ashen
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
hilarious, humor, humorous, husband, wife,
I Am Hal I Mean Dick
Hal is a catfisher.
He has had lots of dates this month.
He cannot believe how fast women are these days.
They practically tear your pants off.
He poses as Dick, a bachelor.
Says he is an artist and a composer.
Today’s lunch date is late.
She shows up and he is startled.
It is his wife.
She had used a different photo.
Said her name was Ivy.
You are a Dick! She says to him.
Let’s pretend we aren’t married he says.
Best conversation they have had in three years.
He hopes she will be fast like the others.
She isn’t.