Humorous and funny Diet poems and/or funny poems about Diet. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Diet funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Diet Poems.
Poem Details | by
Johnette Loefgren |
Categories:
funny, life,
sugar substitute
low fat carbohydrate free
feed it to the cat
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
food, humorous,
I’m trying a new ‘see food’ diet
I’d recommend that you all try it
Any food will do
Nothing’s bad for you ...
It's no wonder my trousers don’t fit!
Written 18th February
Posted on 23rd February
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous,
Sweet tooth
In youth
On scales
She WAILS!
Hot date
Lose weight
Diet?
Try it
Big eyes
Large thighs
Fat tum
Huge bum
Gobbles…
Wobbles
In mood
For food
Crunchies
Munchies
Wants choc -
Whole block!
Adore
Fridge door
Keeps shut
With butt
Risk it ...
Biscuit
Crispbread?
Drop dead!
Think thin
As pin
Eats less ...
New dress
Now slim
And trim
Look great
For date
04~05~15
Contest Judy Konos - Your Footle Poem
~awarded 1st place~
Poem Details | by
Deb M |
Categories:
fun, humor,
No longer will l sin
Treat my temple like a bin
Shoving all and sundry in
So l will bear and grin
Take it on the chin
To be happy in my skin
Be healthy within
No more biscuits from the tin
Against the bulge l will win
Today l will begin
To do and feel better!
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
christmas, food, humor,
On his annual flight about the earth,
Santa continues to expand his girth!
'Tis due to cookies and milk,
And other treats of that ilk,
That he samples from Botswana to Perth!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
chocolate, humorous,
I must stop eating Snickers
I can’t fit in my knickers
Have less food on my plate
Won’t moan about my weight
08~23~14
Written for Chastuska Me Contest
Sponsored by Dr Ram Mehta
Rhyme scheme AABB
~awarded 5th place ~
Poem Details | by
Chaim Wilson |
Categories:
cheer up, confusion, humorous, men, pride, work,
My failures are rough but teach.
My errors, windows to truth.
Before discovery, I don’t hear the Greek,
“Eureka!” but “Huh…?” How uncouth!
Meeting a contradiction, I reach,
What the Author intended to auth,
Does this mean this world has a mean streak?
No, I think after hard work must ensueth,
Humility, for man needs help to be meek.
Poem Details | by
John Williams |
Categories:
funny,
Paddy the Irishman was looking grim,
Put on his wife's diet to make him slim,
However Paddy kept sneaking out to the pub
To down some whisky and eat some grub,
I'm afraid Paddy won't be getting too trim.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, humorous,
Some people moan that they are overweight
Attempt dieting but can’t shift it at any rate
I could have an underactive thyroid they may squawk…
But in reality
They suffer from an overactive knife and fork!
Poem based on a quote I heard on the radio and have since found on the web by Donald Kiddick
13th April 2016
Poem Details | by
Barbara Gorelick |
Categories:
humorous, imagery,
Pants tight
Not right
Eat less
I guess
No pie?
I sigh
Goodbye
French fry
To gym
That’s grim
Oh hell
Don't tell
I ate
Whole plate
To store
Once more
I strut
Big butt
New pants
Lets dance!!
Poem Details | by
David Fisher |
Categories:
food, humorous,
There’s a plump man they call The Blimp
Who recently started to limp
Though each day without fail
He’d eat a whole whale
So I proposed that he switch to shrimp
Poem Details | by
Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories:
food, humor,
The Tex-Mex festival was bountiful
But it scratched my innards, much like steel wool
When the cramps began
Oh, how fast I ran
My impersonation of Old Faithful
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
health, humor, satire, society,
You're not doing well,
Ya gotta lose weight;
Keep track of every particle
Of food on your plate.
Count calories obsessively,
Go on diets galore;
Don't even eat jello,
'Cuz "there's always room for more."
Drink water constantly
Eight bottles a day;
That'll surely take
Your appetite away.
Yet at the end of the day,
When all's said and done;
You lost one whole ounce,
Was that any fun?
Poem Details | by
Terezia Kontova |
Categories:
funny,
Today I am eating spinach
Tomorrow I am eating spinach and your smile
On Monday I am eating spinach or your smile....
This is how I reduce my kilograms.
Anyhow, if you are too fatty,
Please, look at me,
And I will reduce your kilograms too
By kissing you
By hugging you
By loving you
This the Diet I worked out on my own
How many dollars will you offer me to perform?
Poem Details | by
Bernard F. Asuncion |
Categories:
humor,
I am on a seafood diet,
Each time I see food, I eat it.
Poem Details | by
Andrea Dietrich |
Categories:
humorous,
Marguerite -
how she'd cheat!
She would eat
something sweet
for a treat.
All for that,
got MORE fat.
Oops! She sat
on her cat.
It went splat!
Jan. 10, 2022
for Joseph May's What's New Poetry Contest
(adjusted to NEW theme)
Poem Details | by
Sidney Beck |
Categories:
food, funny,
DIET OF POETRY
A Limerick man who ate jam with his ham
And his oats soaked in Irish goat’s milk,
Who had cream with his bream
And drank ale with his quail,
Went vegan, with beans and greens of that ilk.
Poem Details | by
Russell Sivey |
Categories:
funny, life,
I sit, wishing to lose a pound
My diet is failing, I frown
I eat all day
Putting it away
I’m having trouble getting around
Russell Sivey
Poem Details | by
James Horn |
Categories:
allegory, humorous,
Buy It, Try It, A Diet
About crash diet;
Always be sure you try it;
Don't keep it quiet.
Presume it will pay to advertise,
So diet why should you despise;
Go ahead and further analyze.
Jim Horn
Jim Horn
Poem Details | by
Cheryl Hoffman |
Categories:
food, humor,
Want to lose weight the natural way,
keeping the sweet cereal at bay,
tastes rather bland,
but looser waist band,
thats why I'm eating little bales of hay.
12-17-16
Poem Details | by
Alex Klugman |
Categories:
funny,
The Chinese diet, always on top picks,
Two grams of rice, which boiled in bucket water,
It should be eaten only by chopsticks.
But be a modest, eat this no more, than quarter!
Poem Details | by
Joseph Spence Sr |
Categories:
family, food, funny, imagination, people, social, uplifting,
My sister sips diet coke
Gets her day going that’s no joke.
It even helps her dream of the Baroque;
Dazzling her eyes while frying her egg yoke.
And folks this is no smoke
It makes her strong as an oak,
While floating like a butterfly stroke
Whenever she drinks her chilled diet coke.
Poem Details | by
Bill Lindsay |
Categories:
food, funny,
and
as for the
people who told
me that having bananas
every day was good for my colon;
you didn’t mention that I had to eat them
Poem Details | by
Lindsay Laurie |
Categories:
humor,
There’s a query that I need to conclude,
about my cat who with mice does collude.
Now I’d pay the price
to get rid of these mice -
Where can I buy mouse-flavored cat food?
Poem Details | by
Panagiota Romios |
Categories:
boy, fun, holiday, humor,
SOUTH PARK HOLIDAY DIET
There once was a boy, named Eric Cartman.
A roly-poly little brat, sorely in need of a diet!
His friend Kenny had the just the answer:
"Just date a belly dancer, eat lots of candy canes,
And soon you'll be thin and svelte as Santa's reindeer, Prancer."
December 24, 2019
Note: Based on the television USA adult, animated comedy series,
"South Park."
{Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone.}