Humorous and funny Dog poems and/or funny poems about Dog. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Dog funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Dog Poems.
animal, best friend, dog, funny, humor, pets, silly,
Top 10 things my dogs have never said to me. Ever!
Number 10…"Can we get a cat?"
Number 9…"No,…As a matter of fact I`m not happy to see you."
Number 8…"That`s ok, you eat the rest of that rib eye."
Number 7…"Sorry about your friends leg, and of course i`ll pay for the pillow."
Number 6…"Do I need a mint?"
Number 5…"And where have you been?"
Number 4…"Is there a 12 step group for butt sniffing?"
Number 3…"Please!…Do not rub my belly or scratch my ears. "
Number 2…" You threw it…You go get it."
And the number 1 answer is!
"That`s your third beer ya know."
dog, humor, imagination,
We buried our dog, Ding
With her favorite things,
Like our couch, plus our bed
And pillows for our head.
Our carpet she muddled
With dirt and pee puddles,
The window she stared through
To bark at who knows who.
The hedge she sniffed and chewed,
All of our leather shoes,
My truck’s passenger seat,
But not the children’s feet.
Two of our best chickens
She chased like the dickens,
Seven of my wife’s hats,
But not much more than that.
We paid a contractor
Who with a large tractor,
Dug a humongous hole
For our dear doggy’s soul.
And it did our heart good
Though we now sleep on wood;
Without a comforter,
Since we did comfort her.
childhood, education, children, funny, dog, dog,
I didn’t do my math homework!
I watched T.V instead!
I better come up with an excuse... and quick!
Or else I’m surely dead!
My brother tore it!
It’s in the garbage!
Mom says it causes brain damage!
My power was out!
I had the flu!
I was having trouble excreting my poo!
You know, why even bother?
My excuses are so lame!
I know! My dog ate my homework!
Now to find a dog I can blame...
Some folks call me a sausage dog
I think they couldn’t be meaner
It’s not my fault I’m long and short
And look like a misshapen wiener
I’ve got four stumpy little legs
So my tummy is near to the ground
My owner’s take me for a drag not a walk
Guess that's why they named me Cigarette!
Contest: Dachshunds – Rob Carmack
~awarded 9th place~
Premiere Contest #13 sponsored by SKAT
dog, fun, humor,
Deep cold snow how can she poop
My small dog Kissy
If my dog could talk
I try to understand her
She drown in the snow
A-L Andresen :)
animal, best friend, dog, humorous, love, pets, thanks,
Your dad, a Dachshund once stuck in Chihuahua.
The best of both in you, with that expectant
Confusing carpets for the lawn enigma.
I know….the raining….getting wet….you can’t.
As coldness chills the room, a sheet for you.
The perfect tucking of in, but you moved!
I ponder, just how crazy is my Boo?
The sheet’s thread count too low to be approved?
Your dance in circles, spinning on the floor.
Rewards and treasures known upon the racks.
Induced by meals and that one pantry door.
In such a fury, choking on the snacks.
I know what God’s book says, I’ve searched it whole.
But still, I hope you have a little soul.
angst, dog, guitar, humorous, people,
It never seems to amaze me
How stupid some people are
Whenever I am out
And take along my guitar.
''Is it a guitar'' people say
''No an ironing board''
I reply with dismay.
''Can you play it?''
''No I just carry it about for fun''
Even though it's a heavy one.
''Are they your dogs''
When out in town
''No'' I reply
''their someone else's
And I'm taking them back to get the ransomed money honey.''
After a while i's an annoyance and not that funny.
Peter Dome.copyright.2015. Oct.
There was a dog owner named Mark
Whose beagle would constantly bark
The neighbours would moan
They’d steal Benji’s bone
And toss it away in the park
18th February 2016
How could I not forgive you?
Just one look at your puppy dog eyes
Thaws the heart of this ice maiden
Contest - Micropoetry ain't that tweet – Sponsor Casarah Nance
(105 characters with spaces)
We once had a doggy named Dale
That loved taking hold of his tail
He’d chase it all-day
In circles, he’d play-
When able to snatch it he’d wail!
April 26, 2015
Contest: Your Best Single Limerick - 5 lines only
Sponsor: Robert Haigh
Contest: Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Jan Allison
YORKSHIRE TERRIER WITH A POODLE CUT
BY THE WAY:
For Jan Allison's Fabulous Fun Footle Contest
My son has a new dog called Brandy
By jingo that pup is so randy
He caused quite a to do
When he humped my left shoe
No wonder his legs are so bandy!
dog, humorous, , cute,
A dog by the side of the road
Whelped out her cute little load
A copper who saw
Reeled off the law
Cited for littering I’m told
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
animal, dog, happy, humor, joy, love, pets,
My name is Spenser
No dog is denser
I'm not well smarted
But I'm big hearted
If you was hurted
I'd be alerted
And I'll come racing
To lick your facing.
B. Joseph Fitzsimons
"This is mine, and this is mine, and so is this,"
Says my unfixed dog, Willy, on all he does piss.
In the bullmastiff's breast beats a heart of pure gold
A proud Saxon canine, true caring and bold
Ever steadfast, not trendy
Such an apt chum for Wendy
A real breed apart and a joy to behold
POEM OF THE DAY
(For Wendy Horder and her hunk of love Brix)
animal, dog, humor,
The Dachshund’s a marvel on skis
Little legs that stop short of its knees
It can schuss like a pro
Making furrows in snow
(Though its privates are given to freeze)
boy, dog, humor,
Oh, tell her that she’s beautiful
lithe and fluid on the run
her oh so cunning brush of hair
a perfumed brush of coming near.
Tell her of my longing moan
of lonely howl of aching heart
lest she forget we have a date
Tomorrow – dog park – after eight.
Realism Art Poetry Contest
Eve Roper - sponsor
animal, dog, humor,
A mutt may show up with a rat
Do some terrible things to your hat
But he’s happy for sure
Just to roll in manure
And so grateful that he’s not a cat
child, dog, food, humor, love, sleep, smile,
Quote By Poet "Puppies and kittens are what little kids dreams are made of."
My puppy is tan and small,
she likes to sleep in mommy's shawl.
She loves to play ball,
while I play with my doll.
We like to play outside,
where she will run and hide.
I will put her in my doll buggy for a ride,
her smile becomes a mile wide.
It's time to go inside,
dinner is ready with chicken that has been fried.
Robin L. Gass
dog, girlfriend, humorous,
There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled.
dog, children, funny,
A dog and his bone was on the roam,
Where can I find this bone a home?
Will I bury it next to the tree?
No, too easy for others to see.
What about next to the garden shed?
Maybe in the middle of the garden bed,
Behind the sty where the pigs all are,
What about somewhere right away far.
I think I know what I will do,
I'll just sit down and have a chew,
Tomorrow will be another new day,
I'll find a spot then for the bone to stay.
animals, food, funny, dog, dog,
The dog seen a rabbit and how he did chase
to catch that little critter and boy what a race
But one thing that rabbit knew as he ran away
he was not going to be lunch for that dog today
Around the tree and into the bushes he went
the dog was right after that little rabbit's scent
the dog was so busy that he never did see
that big old hornet nest way up in the tree
running and barking and making a sound
made all the hornets start buzzing around
They all made a dive and together they flew
when they hit the dog he knew he was through
He made up his mind right there and then
he would never go chasing that rabbit again
character, child, childhood, children, dog, fantasy, film, children, giggle, happiness, humorous, imagination, nature, nostalgia, remember, smile, storm, uplifting, visionary, weather,
Once was a gal who felt so alone
Tornato came up rooted farms home
Landed on wicked witch
Munchkins came out of ditch
Gave dog lollypops instead of bone