Funny Poems About Dog or Dog Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Dog poems and/or funny poems about Dog. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Dog funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Dog Poems.

Poem Details | by Charlie Knowlton |
Categories: animal, best friend, dog, funny, humor, pets, silly,

Top 10 Things My Dogs Have Never Said To Me

Top 10 things my dogs have never said to me.   Ever!

Number 10…"Can we get a cat?"

Number 9…"No,…As a matter of fact I`m not happy to see you."

Number 8…"That`s ok, you eat the rest of that rib eye."

Number 7…"Sorry about your friends leg, and of course i`ll pay for the pillow."

Number 6…"Do I need a mint?"

Number 5…"And where have you been?"

Number 4…"Is there a 12 step group for butt sniffing?"

Number 3…"Please!…Do not rub my belly or scratch my ears. "

Number 2…" You threw it…You go get it."

And the number 1 answer is!

"That`s your third beer ya know."

Poem Details | by David Fisher |
Categories: dog, humor, imagination,

Ding Go In Style

We buried our dog, Ding
With her favorite things,
Like our couch, plus our bed
And pillows for our head.

Our carpet she muddled
With dirt and pee puddles,
The window she stared through
To bark at who knows who.

The hedge she sniffed and chewed,
All of our leather shoes,
My truck’s passenger seat,
But not the children’s feet.

Two of our best chickens
She chased like the dickens,
Seven of my wife’s hats,
But not much more than that.

We paid a contractor
Who with a large tractor,
Dug a humongous hole
For our dear doggy’s soul.

And it did our heart good
Though we now sleep on wood;
Without a comforter,
Since we did comfort her.

Poem Details | by Jacob Cra |
Categories: childhood, education, children, funny, dog, dog,

I Didn'T Do My Math Homework

I didn’t do my math homework!
I watched T.V instead!
I better come up with an excuse... and quick!
Or else I’m surely dead!

My brother tore it!
It’s in the garbage!
Mom says it causes brain damage!

My power was out!
I had the flu!
I was having trouble excreting my poo!

You know, why even bother?
My excuses are so lame!
I know! My dog ate my homework!
Now to find a dog I can blame...

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: dog, humorous,


Some folks call me a sausage dog I think they couldn’t be meaner It’s not my fault I’m long and short And look like a misshapen wiener I’ve got four stumpy little legs So my tummy is near to the ground My owner’s take me for a drag not a walk Guess that's why they named me Cigarette! 01~16~15 Contest: Dachshunds – Rob Carmack ~awarded 9th place~ Premiere Contest #13 sponsored by SKAT

Poem Details | by Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories: dog, fun, humor,

- Haiku X 72 - Dog, Poop and Snow -

Behavior perfect
Deep cold snow how can she poop
My small dog Kissy

If my dog could talk
I try to understand her
She drown in the snow

A-L Andresen :)

Poem Details | by Rob Carmack |
Categories: animal, best friend, dog, humorous, love, pets, thanks,

Sonnet Chiweenie Boo

Your dad, a Dachshund once stuck in Chihuahua.
The best of both in you, with that expectant
Confusing carpets for the lawn enigma.
I know….the raining….getting wet….you can’t.

As coldness chills the room, a sheet for you.
The perfect tucking of in, but you moved!
I ponder, just how crazy is my Boo?
The sheet’s thread count too low to be approved?

Your dance in circles, spinning on the floor.
Rewards and treasures known upon the racks.
Induced by meals and that one pantry door.   
In such a fury, choking on the snacks.

I know what God’s book says, I’ve searched it whole.
But still, I hope you have a little soul.


Poem Details | by Peter Dome |
Categories: angst, dog, guitar, humorous, people,

Stupid Questions

It never seems to amaze me
How stupid some people are
Whenever I am out
And take along my guitar.

''Is it a guitar'' people say
''No an ironing board''
I reply with dismay.

''Can you play it?''
''No I just carry it about for fun''
Even though it's a heavy one.

''Are they your dogs''
When out in town
''No'' I reply
''their someone else's
And I'm taking them back to get the ransomed money honey.''
After a while i's an annoyance and not that funny.

Peter Dome.copyright.2015. Oct.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: dog, humorous,


There was a dog owner named Mark Whose beagle would constantly bark The neighbours would moan They’d steal Benji’s bone And toss it away in the park 18th February 2016

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: dog, humorous,

And They Call It Puppy Love - For Contest

How could I not forgive you? Just one look at your puppy dog eyes Thaws the heart of this ice maiden Contest - Micropoetry ain't that tweet – Sponsor Casarah Nance (105 characters with spaces) 07~31~15

Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: dog, humor,

Doggy Dale

We once had a doggy named Dale That loved taking hold of his tail He’d chase it all-day In circles, he’d play- When able to snatch it he’d wail! April 26, 2015 ~3rd Place~ Contest: Your Best Single Limerick - 5 lines only Sponsor: Robert Haigh Judged: 04/24/2018 ~3rd Place~ Contest: Limerick Contest Sponsor: Jan Allison Judged: 04/29/2015

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: dog, funny,

Gone To the Dogs



                     FAMOUS CANINES


          BY THE WAY:
          How's your

For Jan Allison's Fabulous Fun Footle Contest

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: dog, humorous,


My son has a new dog called Brandy By jingo that pup is so randy He caused quite a to do When he humped my left shoe No wonder his legs are so bandy! 07-07-17

Poem Details | by Dean Wood |
Categories: dog, humorous, , cute,

Litterally Absurd

A dog by the side of the road
Whelped out her cute little load
A copper who saw
Reeled off the law
Cited for littering I’m told

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: animal, dog, happy, humor, joy, love, pets,


My name is Spenser
No dog is denser
I'm not well smarted
But I'm big hearted
If you was hurted
I'd be alerted
And I'll come racing
To lick your facing.

Poem Details | by Robert Gorelick |
Categories: dog, humor,

Brix the Bullmastiff

In the bullmastiff's breast beats a heart of pure gold
A proud Saxon canine, true caring and bold
Ever steadfast, not trendy
Such an apt chum for Wendy
A real breed apart and a joy to behold

(For Wendy Horder and her hunk of love Brix)
Written 3/13/23

Poem Details | by Ralph Protsik |
Categories: animal, dog, humor,

The Dachshund

The Dachshund’s a marvel on skis
Little legs that stop short of its knees 
It can schuss like a pro
Making furrows in snow
(Though its privates are given to freeze)

Poem Details | by B. Joseph Fitzsimons |
Categories: dog, humor,

This Is How My Dog Pees

"This is mine, and this is mine, and so is this,"
Says my unfixed dog, Willy, on all he does piss.

Poem Details | by John Lawless |
Categories: boy, dog, humor,

Oh, Tell Her

Oh, tell her that she’s beautiful
lithe and fluid on the run
her oh so cunning brush of hair
a perfumed brush of coming near.

Tell her of my longing moan
of lonely howl of aching heart
lest she forget we have a date														
Tomorrow – dog park – after eight.


Realism Art Poetry Contest
Eve Roper - sponsor

Poem Details | by Ralph Protsik |
Categories: animal, dog, humor,

The Mutt

A mutt may show up with a rat
Do some terrible things to your hat
But he’s happy for sure
Just to roll in manure
And so grateful that he’s not a cat

Poem Details | by Lin Lane |
Categories: dog, humor,

Make it Quick

"Make it quick" they barked. "We all have to pee."
The **** legged one woofed right back, "Don't rush me!"
Female dogs may have fleas
But they don't wee on trees
Trans surgery gets rid of that weenie!

*Not entered in the contest but I couldn't 
stop myself from writing a limerick for that photo.

Poem Details | by Paula Goldsmith |
Categories: child, dog, food, humor, love, sleep, smile,


Quote By Poet "Puppies and kittens are what little kids dreams are made of." 

My puppy is tan and small,
she likes to sleep in mommy's shawl.
She loves to play ball,
while I play with my doll.
We like to play outside,
where she will run and hide.
I will put her in my doll buggy for a ride,
her smile becomes a mile wide.
It's time to go inside,
dinner is ready with chicken that has been fried.

Poem Details | by Robin L. Gass |
Categories: funny

Footle - a Dog Catchers Vow

If found

in pound!

Poem Details | by Jean Murray |
Categories: dog, girlfriend, humorous,

Farting Farmer

There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled.

Poem Details | by John Williams |
Categories: dog, children, funny,

Dog and His Bone

A dog and his bone was on the roam,
Where can I find this bone a home?
Will I bury it next to the tree?
No, too easy for others to see.

What about next to the garden shed?
Maybe in the middle of the garden bed,
Behind the sty where the pigs all are,
What about somewhere right away far.

I think I know what I will do,
I'll just sit down and have a chew,
Tomorrow will be another new day,
I'll find a spot then for the bone to stay.

Poem Details | by Oma Bennett |
Categories: animals, food, funny, dog, dog,

The Dog and the Rabbit

The dog seen a rabbit and how he did chase
to catch that little critter and boy what a race

But one thing that rabbit knew as he ran away
he was not going to be lunch for that dog today

Around the tree and  into the bushes he went
the dog was right after that little rabbit's scent

the dog was so busy that he never did see
that big old  hornet nest  way up in the tree

running and barking and making a sound
made all the hornets start buzzing around

They all made a dive and together they flew
when they  hit the dog he knew he was through

He made up his mind right there and then
he would never go chasing that rabbit again