Humorous and funny Dogs poems and/or funny poems about Dogs. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Dogs funny poems!
Written by
Charlie Knowlton
Categories:
animal, best friend, dog, funny, humor, pets, silly,
Top 10 Things My Dogs Have Never Said To Me
Top 10 things my dogs have never said to me. Ever!
Number 10…"Can we get a cat?"
Number 9…"No,…As a matter of fact I`m not happy to see you."
Number 8…"That`s ok, you eat the rest of that rib eye."
Number 7…"Sorry about your friends leg, and of course i`ll pay for the pillow."
Number 6…"Do I need a mint?"
Number 5…"And where have you been?"
Number 4…"Is there a 12 step group for butt sniffing?"
Number 3…"Please!…Do not rub my belly or scratch my ears. "
Number 2…" You threw it…You go get it."
And the number 1 answer is!
"That`s your third beer ya know."
Written by
Kim Merryman
Categories:
dog, funny,
Gone To the Dogs
DOGGIE ART
Poodle
Doodle
HAPPY LASSIES
Jolly
Collies
FAMOUS CANINES
Renowned
Greyhounds
YORKSHIRE TERRIER WITH A POODLE CUT
Dorkie
Yorkie
BY THE WAY:
How's your
Schnauzer?
3/19/17
For Jan Allison's Fabulous Fun Footle Contest
Written by
Bryan Norton
Categories:
humor, nonsense,
Cats and Dogs
Dogs eat cats, cats eat rats
Rats eat things that drop from bats
Bats eat bugs, bugs eat figs
Figs that fall on hats and wigs
Wigs on pigs and hats on hogs
Should’ve quit with cats and dogs.
Bite Size Poem No. 9 Poetry Contest
Written by
Ivor Davies
Categories:
humor, weather,
Raining Cats and Dogs
As cats and dogs fall from the sky
it isn't easy to keep dry.
Caught in the thumping, thudding pain
of the meowing, barking rain.
The pitter patter of their feet
at other times would be a treat,
but when they poke you in the eye,
it's times like these they make you cry.
The tears now streaming down your face,
the pitter patter speeds it's pace,
with pets now pouring from the sky
it's time to get inside... and dry!
Ivor G Davies
Written by
Julie Cottingham
Categories:
funny
Frogs and Dogs - (Tongue Twister Poetry)
Four fearsome frogs fought fourty dogs for fun in foggy weather
the fourty dogs and fearsome frogs alarmed poor fred the farmer
If fourty dogs fought four fearsome frogs in fog on fred's old farm
the fourty frogs and four fearsome dogs could go sleep after in the barn.
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
anxiety, humor, prayer,
Raining Cats and Dogs
This past week it was raining cats and dogs,
prayed about it to not get so annoyed,
one car totaled other in infirmary,
husband tomorrow having triple bypass surgery,
Meow, Arf, Splat go land some more in the bog.
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
adventure, animals, fantasy, children, friendship, funny, happiness, imagination, inspirational, life, people, pets, uplifting, visionarydog, dog,
Who Let the Dogs Out ? { the Doggone Dog Contest}
< tell me now Who ! Who ! ~ Let The Dogs Out ?
bet Carolyn pulling them by snouts ......
fleas ... ticks.... she started to itch /////
screaming sons of a ....... b .i...t...c....h
poor neighbor's dog now takes different route
Entry For
Andrea Dietrich's
The DogGone Dog Contest
G.L. All
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
children, funny,
Hot Dogs
I like a little yellow
Mixed in with my red,
I like my sauce and mustard
Squeezed on to my bread,
I like my bread in a roll
With a franfurt sticking out,
I really love my hot dogs
They're cuisine to rave about.
Written by
Rufus Reed
Categories:
children, funny
Cats and Dogs
It’s raining cats and dogs outside,
I’ll need some kind of hat
To offer some protection,
From falling dogs and cats.
Written by
Malik Johnson
Categories:
funny, happy, humor, humorous,
No Dogs Allowed
All ye, all ye, all come free,
hello everybody come party with me!
We're going to rock this party to the morning light.
We're gonna rock this party all day and all night!! Ooh! The fat
cat's singing on the center stage and the cats are pouncing in a furry rage.
So come on everybody let's join this crowd. Whoa! holdup the sign outside says
Outside says "No dogs allowed!" Bump, bump, bump, bump, badee, bump!.
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny,
Who Let the Dogs Out
who let the dogs out
not me, it was cold, raining, windy..
lightning flash turning
I opened the door for
Ashley and Princess
and they beat me back
to their bed..
Just for fun..
Haiku_not really
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
angst, humorous,
Barking Dogs and Screaming Kids
Barking dogs and screaming kids
Can drive a person to drink
There's nothing quite so disconcerting
Worse than loud music methinks
Hard to control a barking dog
They'll bite you and rip off your leg
Beating kiddies is wee bit extreme
But it's fun watching them beg
Go ahead whomp your child
As long as you don't leave marks
Strangling is definitely illegal though
Welts are sometimes quite dark
Betcha I'm gonna hear 'bout this
'Bout abusing li'l kids and all
Really they're only minor injuries
It's a blast to hear 'em bawl!
Just kidding!!!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Written by
NJ Tomcatx
Categories:
dog, humor, nonsense, word play,
The Dogs of Doggerel
Dogmatic deconstructionists
declaim
the Dogs of Doggerel
during the
Dog Days of Delusion
Deluded destroyers
deliver
the Dogfights of Doggerel
during the
Dog Dances of Derision
Derisive decoys
denounce
the Doghouses of Doggerel
during the
Dog Dreams of Deception
Written by
CayCay Jennings
Categories:
dog, humorous,
Two Dogs Converse
“Why are our humans staring at you and me? Don't look.”
“Will any of them, just one, stop staring? What’s to see?”
“Maybe pretending to dig-hide the bone is the key!
You keep biting and sucking away. I’ll do the bone thing, then flee
to lay by the door of glass and begin bathing my knee.”
Written by
Tirzah Conway
Categories:
funny
Dastardly Dogs
Dastardly Dogs devastating delicate Delilah’s delectable Danish donuts
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
giggle, song, time, uplifting,
Dogs Picture Prompt
Come on guys I really need to go.
My inside are about to blow,
This line is way too long,
No time to sing a song.
I am filled with messy cargo.
Written by
David Sollis
Categories:
dog, humorous, morning, pets, silly,
Dogs Best Friend
On warm sunny mornings, down by the canals,
trudge humans with canines – their supposed best pals.
I often wonder which is the smarter species.
The one that can’t read, at the front of the lead?
Or the one on-tow, clutching a small bag of faeces?
this Poem was first posted on my Blog with one of my cartoons, which can be seen here: http://wp.me/p2mUkP-hC
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, pets,
Its a Dogs Life
Cold icy winds bite me gripping my very soul
Fingers and toes are numb, I can’t remember feeling whole
Rain lashes down; the gales try to blow me over
But a dogs life must come first, because I’ve got to walk Rover!
Jan Allison
12th June 2014
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
dog, humorous,
Who Let the Dogs Out
My auntie purchased a great dane,
That mutt really drives her insane
When it does a poop,
It won’t fit the scoop,
Her husband’s now hired a crane
They also have got a Shih Tzu
It constantly poops in her shoe
She abhors the critter
Cos it’s not a quitter
Their house is just littered with pooh
My Saluki’s a naughty pet
Last Monday he peed on the vet
Who was a trainee
And very brainy
I’m sorry his trousers got wet!
08/23/21
Written by
Jim Slaughter
Categories:
best friend, dog, humor,
On Behalf of Dogs
Happy National Dog Day, PS!
Beagle, boxer, poodle, pug,
Airedale, cocker spaniel, terrier,
Shiatsu, pom, or something furrier,
Pedigreed or cur-ish mug,
Dogs make our lives ever so much merrier.
We pick up after, poof, and pamper them,
But, never like our kids,
Do we with the Ten Commandments try to hamper them.
Consider how they often make us break with number Seven,
And other blasphemies they might incur if there were Eleven.
But for all their sins they make amends
With apologetic eyes, and ingratiating grins.
We try holding out, but in the end,
A sloppy kiss, first us then them,
A wag, a hug, and we're best friends again.
Written by
Greg Halligan
Categories:
animals, funny, happiness, imagination
Dogs (Ode To)
i like dogs
but not cats you see
they get on my nerves
'cause they're just too finikee
Dogs like to play
and cats like top sleep
It's not hard to decide
which one to keep
I like to hear
the bark of a dog
not the meow of a cat
I'd rather have
chew'd up furniture
than hairballs resembling
a 3 day old dead rat!
Written by
Fonda Anne
Categories:
humorous, nonsense,
Talking To Dogs
From the other room
I can hear my guy saying...
I am tired, don’t feel good today…
(shh…He talking to the dogs’...lol..)
I feel like someone beat me with a stick,
I ask--did you say stick—?
You feel like you got beat with a stick?
“Yes” he replies,
oh that is good—
…I had to ask...
Cause it sounded like-
You said you got Beat with a ____!!!
Copyright © fonda anne….mooreofme....mamao
Written by
Emilia James
Categories:
dog, humor,
Dogs Fruit
Fruits of our labour is in this tree
This one we all use to poop and pee
They ripen with time
Grow and taste devine
Poo-pee plums, humans scrump for their tea.
Written by
Panagiota Romios
Categories:
america, humorous, political,
Hot Dogs a New York Tale
Hot Dogs A New York Tale
There once lived a Mayor named Di Blasio,
Who had steamy, hot desires for Ocasio!
In an effort to woo her and all health crackpots, too,
He pulled out his very lengthy political lance.
"Ah, Divine Maiden, I want you all for my own.
For only this for you will I do,
I am deporting all unhealthy, evil hot dogs to
France."
Maiden Ocasio in gratitude fell to her feet.
So Nathan's went out of business!
Oh how greatly, the New Yorkers wept!
Said she: "The world will indeed be Green!
You and I will be King and Queen..
No cows, no cars, no steel buildings
Divinely, so peachy-clean!"
Panagiota Romios
4/25/2019
11:58pm PST
Re-edited at 4:25pm PST
Written by
Beej Simrov
Categories:
dog, humor,
Who Says Dogs Bark
Who the hell ever said dogs say "bark"?
My pup Willy-Paul disagrees,
He says that we should disembark,
From calling his sounds the stuff of trees.
Onomatopoeia,
Words that read as sounds,
"Bark" is an idiotic idea,
To define what is said by hounds.
"Woof" is another word I wouldn't,
Choose to describe the dogs I hear,
It's like a child who really couldn't,
Say the "l" in wolf; with a lisp it disappeared.