Humorous and funny Driver poems and/or funny poems about Driver. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Driver funny poems!
Written by
Gwendolen Song
Categories:
character, crazy, culture, fear, how i feel, humor,
The Taxi Cab Driver From Hell
Flying around the corner on two wheels!
Look at him go!
His name is Fazik and he drove me from the airport to the hotel.
Riding in the car with him was like watching a magic show.
You should have been along for the ride!
Whizzing around the most dangerous streets in the city.
Streets even too narrow for a donkey!
I don’t remember praying as hard as I did on that 45 minute commute to the hotel.
Fazik, the taxi cab driver from hell.
Gwendolen Rix
4-26-15
Written by
Marylouise Goguen
Categories:
adventure, funny, imagination, places, me,
Backseat Driver
Providence
That’s where we were going
Just to get a tattoo
At the zenith of daybreak
We drove down early to
Get there when they opened
Easy, right?
Ho-No!
Your directions made me
Dazed and confused
I could comprehend nuclear physics
Better than your map
And when I took a wrong turn
You should have just put me on
Trial than subject me to the verbal
Barrage you spewed
You’d think Mercury was careening
Into Earth ready to make ghosts
Of us all
Could we foster a truce
Just so we could find our way
Back home again?
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny,
Sleeping Driver
.
There is a man who goes to sleep driving
His family has a plot conniving
They would buy him a tank
That is so dark and dank
He could sleep while others were surviving
Sponsor: Heather Ober
Contest: Make Me Laugh
Written this seventh day of July 2013
Written by
Mark Goodson
Categories:
funny,
Secrets of a Limo Driver
I tell you now
For in the telling
It is good for my soul
That this be my confession
Forgive me
But did you know
I am your limo driver
I do forewarn you now
When the petition is up
With you and party comfortably stowed
I hear everything
Every word or groan
Every laughter or sigh
When you and another are secretly embraced
My limo rocks and bounces
The limo fight’s the road to stay straight
I know what you’re doing
You believe with in this luxury carriage
The world is unable to notice
But be ye warned
And tip me well
That I don’t tell
For besides God who is all knowing
I the limo driver know what you’re doing
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
Was Once a School Bus Driver
My wife was once a school bus driver
Brave lady she's still in therapy, a survivor
It's quite a sad tale
At times gets derailed
Aims at kiddies with words I can't decipher
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, people, sports,
Nascar Driver
(This is a fictional poem)
I'm a Nascar driver and I'm one of the best.
I always win and the losers are depressed.
I always come in first on racing day.
The other racers eat dust as I blow them away.
Last week a driver cussed me out because he came in last.
He's jealous of my car because it's really fast.
I challenged him to a fight but he won.
He put bruises on all of my body parts, even on my balls and my buns.
He was hitting, kicking, clawing and even biting.
I'm excellent at racing cars but I suck ### at fighting.
Written by
Daisy Ward
Categories:
car, humorous,
The Race Car Driver
The race car driver drove to fast
He crashed hard but didn't last
His funeral was sad
It made others mad
When his car showed up wearing a mask
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, on work and working, people, me,
Taxi Driver
(This is a fictional poem)
Last week I gave a ride to a member of the Crips..
He shot me in the wiener when I asked for a tip.
I'll never give a gang member a ride again.
I'm really sick of getting these bullets within..
Yesterday I thought I'd be safe when I gave a ride to a nun.
But when I asked for a tip, the damn lady pulled out a gun.
She shot me in the crotch and blew off one of my balls.
The pain is so great that to reach my taxi, I have to crawl.
The people have no morals and they show no pity.
Please don't ever be a taxi driver in this damn City.
Written by
Ronald D Thompson
Categories:
humorous, silly,
Back Seat Driver
‘Do not go too fast’ she said ‘but do not go too slow’
‘And do not start the car until it's safe for you to go’.
‘Can you see that dog?’ she said ‘and watch out for that cat,
And you’re leaning back too far’ she said ‘I don’t like how you’re sat’
‘And I think it’s going to rain’ she said ‘so I hope the tread is good
And the brakes are working perfectly. I hope that’s understood?’
‘Stop’ she said ‘did you not see, that pigeon over there?’
And if we get a flat’ she said ‘I hope you’ve got a spare?’
‘Look out! Can you stop?’ she said ‘I’d like to stay alive!’
‘Oh can you just be quiet’ I said ‘and let me pull out o’ the drive!’
Written by
Sotto Poet
Categories:
car, humor,
The Sled Driver
once an aged cab driver named fred
whose snout shined very dainty red
got a call from a bar
placing an elf in car
making him escort santa's sled
Used HMS.COM / 8-8-6-6-8
and RZ.COM
Written: November 27, 2022
A Funny Christmas or December
Holiday Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
family, funny, life,
Best Driver
best driver his claim
went to sleep singing_voice rang
as he crossed the center line
I am glad that I was there to awake him
and also that we were not meeting any
cars or 18 wheelers....
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
humor,
did you get a good look at the driver
A black sportscar driven by a new driver
Mistakes a two-lane road for a three-lane road
The driver of the car zooms in between two other cars
They both pull off, shaken
One of the drivers is an off-duty police officer.
He goes to the other driver to see if he is okay.
The men discuss what happened.
Did you get a good look at the driver?
Neither of them can describe him
Maybe he was young?
I think he had a red cap.
Before the police officer leaves
The fifteen-year-old girl asks, “Did you want his license plate number?”
Until this moment she had been excluded from the manly conversation.
Written by
Lamech Obare
Categories:
humorous,
Test Driver
A car dealer needed a driver,
So Ray decided to take over,
When Ray took the wheel,
Car parts began to reel,
Ray asked, “was it not a teetotaler?”