Humorous and funny Duck poems and/or funny poems about Duck. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Duck funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Duck Poems.
Shut the duck up
Or is it a goose
Shut the duck up
I knew that you would get in the last word!
This is not meant to resemble
anyone or anything..
Just written for fun!
My sense of humor has returned!
I have no idea what form it could be???
Entered into Andrea's contest...
film, funny, humor,
I watched the worst movie ever made, it truly sucks.
The movie that I'm talking about is Howard the Duck.
It has scarred and cursed me for life.
Because of this movie, I lost my wife.
Seeing that movie also struck me blind.
This movie is an abomination to mankind.
Now I must take viagra because I've been cursed in another way as well.
Just because I watched Howard the Duck, my life has become a living hell.
Every copy of this movie must be destroyed.
Unless you want to be like me, this is a movie that you should avoid.
Yikes! Arrow targeting me
Cupid, please choose another
Scars from your last shot remain
Heart still bleeding red
*For Francine's "Red" Contest
Once there was a man called Uncle Duck
no silly, a scholar with wide exposure is duck
Boasts Symbol of freedom is I,
symbol of happiness and fidelity is I
bloody post modern is duck.
fun, humor, political, thanksgiving day,
Now pouts the ex-president Trumpty
his turkey-day gravy’s all lumpy
he’s down on his luck
for he’s a lame duck
his a** voters threw in the dumpty
November 26, 2020
~ Second Place ~
Contest: Out On A Lim
Sponsor: Joseph May
animals, funny, life, nature,
upon the tranquil waters:
bread, declined by ducks
fun, humor, nonsense,
Bucking Did Duck Did Chuck
Have you ever seen a bucking duck cluck?
Maybe he fell down and did not suck
Into the oats and grain for he could not duck
The bucking, clucking, duck could not fill up on muck
Could he wallop an ugly duck of Chuck’s wallop of pucks?
Of woodchuck, woodchuck then maybe he should pluck, duck.
Theresa Marie Hummingbird
There's a moose a loose with a duck on his back!
If you see them stop dead in your tracks.
Do not engage, for they will fight back.
The moose made a slingshot out of his rack.
If you are naive and turn your back;
Moose will sling duck hard and fast.
Popping your butt with a very loud crack.
Leaving you with a duck stuck in your quack.
children, funny, happiness, imagination, life, nature, uplifting,
Crack, push, wriggle, peck,
Wet duckling appears by night -
Easter breakfast runs
funny, giggle, humorous,
There was a duck in Waddlesworth
Who wore a silver hat.
And on the crown he wore a pin-
A diamond studded cat.
It's said pride comes before a fall
And he was vain, you see.
Because his beak was in the air,
One day he stepped in pee.
Now the day was just beginning.
The duck had many plans.
He'd scheduled for a manicure
Though it requires hands.
He shook off the offending wet
And strolled into the shop,
But he was chased off with a broom
Then bumped into a cop.
"Excuse me, Mr. Officer!
Pardon me!" he said.
Then he ruffled up his feathers,
And went to lunch instead.
Hic, burp, dadgumit
Weared dat cocktail napkin go
Wanted ta git 'er phone numbr
Ineabriated pen fell to da floor,
Taking da napkin, too
Ah, well, I’ll jest go over ta that fine lady
Oops! Freakin’ pen rolled neath ma feet
Crash! Yep, write on da floor I set
Oh no, she’s a-lookin’ my way
At dis humbling floor display
I wave; she smiles
But wen I git ta my feet, she’s gone
Blasted fallin’-doun-drunk pen led me on
No moore goose chases fer me
Bartender, Ill take ma Cold Duck on da floor
*For Elliot’s “Drink Drunken Pen Drink” contest
Eesa Qakker from Upper Cumbuck
Sadly lost his prize winning duck,
It wandered away
When its fence went astray,
Talk about down on your duck.
I first seen this bird
When I was seven
His name is Donald Duck
And he's got an A.K.47
Why you ask does this bird got heat
Well he's from American where there's a need
Mickey mouse carrie's a 30 ot 6
Minnie's liberal she carrie's a stick
Goofie's got a sub machine gun
That silly dog is lot's of fun
Then we have Snow White and the 7 dwarfs
Who enjoy target practice at the golf course
They like themselve's a 45
There also wanted dead or alive
Peter Pan and Tinker Bell
Both of them can rot in he**
As for Mr. Walt himself
He's a bazooka man that launches elve's
So the next time you goto disneyland
Better bring some ammo and some sand
animal, death, funny,
There was once a golden duck
Who had a golden truck
He went on a plane
Got shot in his brain
And the man said that he will pluck the duck
L MILTON HANKINS
I have never heard of a man named Donald Duck
Pity the guy with such poor luck
Somewhere I am certain this fellow exists
But His name doesn't appear on any famous people lists!
Written on December 18, 2020
For the Clerihew contest
James Edward Lee Sr.
adventure, analogy, animal, conflict, funny,
I was jogging,
I saw a quack;
I stop and pondered;
What is that?
I thought this, this is wack;
Look at my slacks;
They had gotten wet;
From water I didn't spill nor did I sweat;
And I bet, ya! wondering;
Just what's going on;
Am I hallucinating.........
while still on the trail on the track,
In my wet drench now jogging slacks;
This here unpleasant, wasn't a pheasant;
For you see he poke and peck;
Yet you still wonder and ponder;
This flat-footed wonder was a Duck!!
JUST MY LUCK THE QUACK THAT WAS WACK WAS A DUCK--
yaaaaay ouch yeaaaa help!!!!
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2019©
conflict, humorous, spoken word,
Old Pattie just cannot stop talking
Voice grates like a mallard duck squawking
Can't you just be quiet ?
For once you should try it
Her hen pecked husband left walking!
Written after we went out tonight - this woman would not shut up and in the end her hubby just walked out of the room
REFUSAL TO DUCK
Tucker sits on lawn chair sipping his pop.
Two bullet holes like flies land on backdrop.
A retired mechanism.
He’s done with tourism.
He’s a sitting duck in front of a shop.
fantasy, friend, fun, funny, humor, humorous, imagination,
Once there was a Klutzy Duck
Had problems day and night – yuck
Until he came across a young Dragon that was also out of luck
They started a conversation and found that both had incidences that suck
Dragon showed the Duck that his friends could help and do a pick-me-up
Duck also shared his experiences and remarked on the new friendship struck
They laughed and found that together they could take their moments out of the muck
We won’t mention that the Dragon and Duck were sitting on a new Chevy truck
Now the owner of the vehicle, a guy named Puck
Found muddy Dragon and Duck prints all over that had stuck
addiction, animal, bird, drink, hilarious, silly, wine,
There once was a man named Chuck
Who waddled just like a duck
When they asked, “are you fine”?
He replied, “It’s the wine”
That made him look very struck!
animal, bird, drink, fear, food, funny, horror,
There once was a man named Buck
Who ate a morsel of duck
He started to cough
Then took a huge quaff
Cause his wife forgot to pluck!
animals, food, funny, love,
(This is a fictional poem)
I slept with Daffy Duck and I'm so ashamed.
Instead of making love to a woman, I made love to game.
I was drunk when we got in the sack.
He was so sexy because he was black.
When my girlfriend found out, she forgave me even though I'm a sinner.
She then shot Daffy Duck and served him for dinner.
allegory, animals, funny, happiness,
A Duck Goes Quack
so do I
Maybe I'm a duck
Though I can't Fly
quack quack quack
now i'm sure I'm a loon
Swim swim swim
then I'll fly to the moon
animal, bird, fun, humorous, insect, word play,
Lord Love A Duck
Quacky little bird call
When you hear it coming duck!
If farmer Fudd is after you
You're running out of luck
Totin' shotgun and bird shot,
Son, he's aiming not to please
He's sneaking close behind you bird
You better hold your sneeze
Cuz your feathers are a tickler
Your bill is orange and bright
While the farmer is a stickler
He will sup on bird tonight
Lord love a duck!
Of him you mustn't run a fowl
Pain from freshly plucked feathers
Will be enough to make you howl!
A duck-billed platypus
Is bathing on the bus
She left her favorite stream
To join our swimming team
She did so well last year
Her lane was free and clear
Until the final leg
When Platy laid an egg
Don’t eat the platy pie
Because the hippo bake
Is better served with cake
The platy pie who pluck
Are eating Peking duck
Because the ducks that pry
Are dinner by and by
I knew a platypus
Who shared her duck with us
My dinner pals were thrilled
Because the duck was billed
O what a cunning creature
To don a double feature
The mammal with a plus
A duck-billed platypus.