Humorous and funny Family poems and/or funny poems about Family. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Family funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Family Poems.
family, food, funny,
There was a fruit seller named Schaber
And she was a peculiar neighbor
With kids named Cherry
Apple and Blueberry
Who were all the fruits of her labor
Well sometimes she would drop by
And have a weird look in her eye
But that made us wary
With kids named berry
When she offered us homemade pie
Then one day moved in butcher Pete
Who named his kids after meat
Like T-bone and Chuck
Porky and Buck
So at picnics no one would eat
angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,
Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '
'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust!
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.
'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much,
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'!
Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.
12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,
When I grow up, will I still be princess?
Of course, says glowing daddy.
A roll of the queen’s eyes.
daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, mother, nature, nostalgia, peace, people, seasons
God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…
who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again
children, family, humor, husband, imagery, stress,
Monday Morning Madness
Just because the morning starts
like the morning straight from hell,
and the little one is screaming
and you need a magic spell,
just because you burned the pancakes
and the bacon, well it’s crisp,
do not rant and rave and stutter
or you’ll acquire a nasty lisp!
If your husband’s little habits
drive you batty, do not fret,
but don’t fill his cup with poison;
well, perhaps at least not yet!
If the dog destroyed your curtains
and your mother-in-law is back,
and you hurt your precious pinky
when you tried to nail a tack,
do not turn suicidal
and do not give up, no way!
After all it’s just the morning!
You still have the whole damn day!
family, funny, imagination
Two riding on a single
Man! How fast that bike will go
Down the hill around the curve
Blow wind blow
At the very bottom piled up
In a culvert drain
In great agony and pain
Crumpled metal, torn clothes
Bleeding and blood stains
Harsh words from parents
Tears as soap and water cleaned
All the cuts and bruises
And clothes that had to be changed
What an ending to Christmas
The joy of Santa's gift
Lying dented and scuffed bent
Beside the porch needing to be fixed
child, childhood, family, humorous, sympathy, teacher, child, school, child, school,
Why does a child have to go to school?
Why do we have to spend so much time working?
This seems simply cruel.
Isn't it just irking?
Some people say school is important for learning
Couldn't a child learn on their own?
It would cause much less yearning,
After all, we can learn from our phones.
I can somewhat see a parents point in sending their child to school.
But why would you choose what we wear?
It just allows us to look like fools,
We may as well come to school bear.
As you can see school is not fair,
So please don’t force us to go if you care.
family, funny, Grandson,
I know a scamp who chortles frabjously
as in the springtime galumphing he goes.
And just to show how wacky he can be,
he makes his tongue point up to touch his nose!
He has no wicked claws or eyes with flame
to match those of the manxome Jabberwock.
But just beware his jaws. Although he’s tame,
he can’t be stopped once he begins to talk!
I vouch that he can jabber endlessly
and have me at the end of my short rope.
My ears just might fall off one day, for he
gyres gibberish just like a gyroscope.
I dub my beamish grandson “Jabberwack”
for how he acts and how he loves to yak!
For Debbie Guzzi's "Go Ask Alice" Contest
Carol Sunshine Brown
family, funny, history, life,
All the nuts fell to the ground
The sane ones on branches hang
Long line from many countries
My family tree
family, funny, mother
There once was a woman named Linda
Who would keep a clean hacienda
Till four children she bore
And then bore she one more...
She now has a different agenda!
Timothy I. Brumley
family, funny, happiness, passion, people, sports, car,
My dream car is known to be one of muscle,
which can quickly get up and hustle.
The year would have to be nineteen hundred and Sixty nine,
best year of Camaro to come off the production line.
Orange in color with white racing stripes that line the hood,
along with new aluminum rims would be good.
Its engine would be a three twenty seven,
bearing a Holley Carb would be heaven.
To take it out on the road for a test,
assuredly it would be the best.
I would wash and wax it night and day,
in the garage is where it would stay.
Oh how that would be the car for me,
unfortunately one I’ll never see.
culture, encouraging, family, food, funny, happiness, health, inspirational, life, people, uplifting,
Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make
These global delights,
make eating such fun.
Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon;
Or Danish roast ham.
Add a fresh fruit salad,
Some sparkling wine,
A candle, red roses and
you’re ready to dine.
In flagranti with an unknown lover
Sprang apart from underneath the cover
How his wife she did shout
Now his secret was out -
His hidden lover was her own mother!
4th March 2015
family, children, funny, happiness, inspirational, love
Why are you so grumpy?
Pray, what made you so?
What gave rise to those dark eyes,
and snivel on your nose?
Why are you so grumpy?
-Don't give me the charade!
I see through that bright red nose,
upon that white clown face!
Why are you so grumpy?
Oh, come now, don't hold back.
I know you know that I know well,
the way you always act.
You cover and hide,
and hurry your stride,
you act as though I'm clueless.
Pout and weep,
mumble and freep,
I know that's no word, BUT YOU DO IT!
So if you're feelin' grumpy,
don't let that raincloud set.
The day that comes after this one,
could be your greatest yet!
No,you hold the chicken
you hold the duck
you hold the baby;
I'll drive the truck!
You bring the corn bread
I'll bring the wine
we'll go to Mamas'
and have a good time
You wake up Grandad
I'll feed the cow
get us some slop
and start sloppin the sow
Get Jr.'s overalls
off of the line
Let's go to Mamas'
and have us a time!
Go get my banjo
and Grand Daddy's fiddle
yor juice harp's out back
on the porch where I whittle
We'll have us a ho down
a shindig devine
Let's go to Mamas'
and have us a time!
She'll spread out the grunions
under the pines
Let's all go to Mamas'
and have a good time!
Joseph Spence Sr
adventure, family, fantasy, funny, happiness, holiday, music,
World of Walt Disney
The day after Thanksgiving
Shoulder to shoulder
© Joseph 11/23/07
© All Rights Reserved
Author’s Comments: The Japanese Senryu format has three lines as follows:
the first has five syllables, the second seven syllables, and the third five
syllables. The pattern is 5/7/5 for a total of seventeen syllables. The Senryu is
about an emotional expression, human nature, and things in the human realms
which maybe satiric or humorous.
family, fun, humorous, life, wisdom,
Aunt Ruthie used to sing and dance
a jolly way to find romance
she said one thing that you should know
“The legs are last to go”
“The legs are last to go”
She’d sing her praises right out loud
and wear her stockings high and proud
she still had much that she could show
The legs are last to go
The years roll by and beauty fades
and yet her gams, she still parades
she’s 83 and don’t cha know
her legs were last to go
Her legs were last to go
family, food, horse, humorous,
There is my sweet Aunt Mabel
sitting across the table
ever since her divorce
she eats like a horse
so we put her up in a stable
family, fate, funny,
The dog's at the door
Leash, collar, mask, rubber paw pads
The cat's doing three to five for
Shredding the toilet paper
The FBI fingerprint lab
Has ceased operation
Arrests are down
Everyone's wearing rubber gloves
And a mask
The Care Bears......DON'T
Virtual kisses smudge the screen
Virtual bar rooms
Together....but drinking alone
I caught the children watching
The Great Escape
My grandson now sleeps
With his baseball glove
My granddaughter stole
A spoon at supper
So how's your sanity holding up??
Ronald D Thompson
children, color, family, humorous, silly,
Through your eyes
Is the sky blue and the grass green?
It has to be because I’ve seen.
But your green might be my blue,
I’m sorry that just wouldn’t do.
If the sky you see is my red,
I think I’d lie down in my bed.
What if your grass is my pink?
I’d have to say that would stink!
Pink grass and red sky,
Dear oh dear, I’d surely die!
I’m glad my blue is my blue,
As far as I’m concerned that will do.
And I like my grass the green I see,
For how else could it ever be?
Don’t want to see through your eyes,
Just might scare me with surprise!
Cheryl Ann Ross
family, funny, life,
I’ve come to believe that dirty laundry
Just when you’re down to one batch, you turn
around and there are five.
And I also believe that laundry runs around
at night by itself.
“Cause “no one” gets it dirty, or takes it down
from the shelf.
“I don’t know where it all came from” is
what I always hear.
All those towels have a mind of their own, is
now what I fear.
There’s four kids, three adults and seven days in
How that can turn into twenty batches,..to this
question, the answer I seek.
If I’d just invested in Proctor and Gamble when
they first went on the market,
Today I’d have a Rolls Royce, along with a
driver to park it.
L Milton Hankins
art, family, fantasy, humor, poetry,
For some reason, I feel especially vindicated
Learning recently that I won’t be syndicated,
I know many of my dear family are titillated
Since they are of my readers most dedicated.
In my writings, over the years, I’ve indicated
That with superb honors I’ve been inundated,
Still, I’ve made every effort to be insulated,
Although lately I’ve been rather stimulated
And, for the most part, yes, entirely pixilated;
That is, when I am not totally inebriated!
written December 20, 2021
David De La Croes
family, giggle, granddaughter, grandfather,
I wish I could look at a flower through your eyes
and discover why you are so fascinated by it.
I wonder why your eyes glisten
when you look at the stars,
and why you smile at the moon.
I wish I could find out what triggers you
to jump and skip, or giggle with glee
and I strain my ears to hear the silent melody
which causes you to break out in song.
I wish I could embrace someone so firmly
as you do when you jump up to greet me.
I wish I were like you when I was a child.
childhood, daughter, dedication, devotion, education, family, children, funny, happiness, health, imagination, inspirational, life, love, people, philosophy, thank you, uplifting, visionary
quit running !!!!
Hija De La Luna
bereavement, death, family, funeral, humor,
They hate his drinking -
But they put his ashes in …
A wine bottle urn.