Humorous and funny Farm poems and/or funny poems about Farm. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Farm funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Farm Poems.
farm, humorous, sexy,
A curvaceous lady named Mary
Just loved having sex in the dairy
When smothered with whipped cream
Her beau would lick her clean…
His Calorie intake was scary!!!
14th June 2016
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
animal, bird, farm, funny, music, silly, song,
Buck buck buh-buck-buck
Buck buck buh-buck
Buck buck, buck buck, buck buck buck
Bucka buck bucka bucka buck
A'buck buck buck.
Buh-KAW k'buck buck
Buh-KAW k'buck buck
Buck buck buck buck
Buck buck buck
Bucka buck bucka bucka buck
A'buck buck buck.
Carol Sunshine Brown
funny, nature, uplifting,
tis my wild kingdom
addiction, april, best friend, computer, confusion, courage, culture, cute love, earth, emotions, encouraging, environment, fantasy, farm, feelings, funny love, garden, happiness, happy, i love you, i miss you, inspirational, internet, irony, july, june, kiss, loneliness, love, magic, me, metaphor, nature, parody, repetition, satire, science, social, technology, tree, women, world, youth,
follow on facebook,
adore on pinterest,
fall in love on instagram,
kiss on a hunch,
all under a tree.
My big ol' rooster,
thought he was **** of the walk...
Until....Red, my hen
ended it all today with
a flogging and loud squawk!..
animal, farm, giggle, humor, humorous, image, silly,
Once a cow named McKuen
Her cud she was a'chew'n.
Walking to our lane
She'd briefly explain,
Shor beats stand'n 'n moo'n.
farm, funny, time,
There once was a farmer named Brock
Who was proud of his timely ****.
‘Cept it rose too early
Surprising his Shirley
On the day we turned back the clock.
I live on a farm in the sky;
we milk all the pigs as they fly;
at harvest we reap
the eggs from the sheep,
and shear woolly cows in a sty.
abuse, anti bullying, farm, giggle, humor, humorous, silly,
A hungover farmer went one day
To a blacksmith's shop to buy some hay.
Reader don't think this funny
You see he had no money,
And so went home less vertebrae.
animal, farm, funny, humor, humorous, nature, nonsense,
Looking out the barn door in our back yard
I watched a deer run through our cow field,
acting like cow pies were mine fields.
He appeared not to like cows
and seemed to plug his nose
by lifting fat lips
to block nostrils
for this fine beast.
He kept on running
lips flapping in the air
making funny bubbly sounds,
purposely or not, I'm not sure
But one thing I do know for certain.
This was the strangest deer I've ever seen.
Written by Brenda Meier-Hans
For Shadow Hamilton's Contest
Double Reverse Etheree
Robert L. Hinshaw
When I was just a wee farm lad growin' up in Hoosier land,
There were many things about farm life I didn't quite understand!
One day I saw a neighbor leadin' a big bull down the gravel road.
I asked my dear old Pa about that and this is what I was told.
"Son, he's takin' that mean old bull to "service" a neighbor's cow."
The implications of that went over my tousled head then, but now,
I associate it with the "service" we git when dealin' with the IRS!
(Don't you think I handled a very delicate matter with a modicum of finesse!)
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
cheer up, earth, farm, flying, giggle, humor, humorous,
UFOs buzzed Lake Erie
And blew Air Force theory.
For they towed a sign
That flashed this here line,
We borrowed cows from O'Leary.
funny, brother, brother, farm,
Farm boys, farm boys, go and do your chores
Better take your hat for it’s sunny out-of-doors
Farm boys, farm boys, gotta milk those cows
Milk-em twice a day and feed the hungry sows
Make your mother butter in the butter churn
Argue with your brother when you think it’s not your turn
Measure off the distance you both will have to run
Where it is you’ll need to go to get the milking done
Toe the mark to challenge your brother at the gate
Divvy up the pails to balance out the weight
Farm boys being farm boys down there on the farm
And you’ll milk the cows if I beat you to the barn
bird, farm, grief, humorous, thanksgiving,
Poor Thomas Turkey,
Alone in his pen.
Sits solemn and scared,
For they 'did in' his hen.
They took her off Sunday,
Then snuffed out her life.
And now he's alone,
Cause they've eaten his wife.
Thanksgiving now over,
He preens with relief.
He can muster a gobble,
Along with his grief.
He pecks round his pen,
For some 'scratch' sprinkled there.
Grows quite happy again,
Not remotely aware . .
That Christmas is coming
For family and friend,
And for Christmas, at dinner;
They'll eat turkey again.
© 2015 Diane Lefebvre
animal, dog, farm, funny, giggle, humor, pets,
Once a sheep dog named Percy
Licked a farmer quite slurply.
Then a homeless cow
With mimicked bowwow,
Licked them both without mercy.
animal, children, funny,
Camelia Rose blew her nose,
The noise was quite gigantic,
Elouise goose flapped her wings,
Other animals were acting frantic.
Betsy dog ducked in her kennel
As the din echoed round the farm,
It sounded like a foghorn
And was causing such alarm.
Neddy horse hid in his stall,
Clara cow inside the milking shed,
The pigs no longer at their trough
Waiting to be fed.
When the sound finally disappeared
Camelia Rose spoke in a voice so calm,
"I'm just a llama with a cold,
No one will come to harm."
I fly through the smoky air
then I poke a big brown bear
I balance on a tight rope
and I slide down a steep slope
I eat a ball of fire
and I do things to admire
I clown around and juggle
but with sharp knives I struggle
the things around me do break
but only when I’m awake!
my audience stops to stare
at the straight jacket I wear
bars in my window number
I count till pills bring slumber
animal, farm, funny,
When strangers see me they laugh
Thinking I have no class
But I tell the farmer they're here
Cause I'm smart and I have no fear
I'm the guardian most preferred
Over cattle, goat and sheep herds
I always announce all strangers
And alert of immediate danger
I'm loyal, gentle and kind
Jump higher than any equine
Stronger than many men put together
A nanny or surrogate, whatever?
Here comes my owner now
I'll pretend I'm as dumb as a cow
He serves breakfast but no demi tasse
"Good morning, you old jackass"
Then I grin and loudly bray
Cause hee haw, hee haw, hee halways talks to me that way
Feb 18 2016 by Daniel Turner
bridal shower, farm, humor,
I'm a farmer
and i like clocks and hoes
get your mind out of the gutter
i'm not talking about those
i use my hoes to get what a need
whether it's a new car or a fancy tv
i was short on money
so i put my hoes out for rent
but then i had to stop when a
couple came back bent
stop bending my hoes i said
then he threw a rock
so i went out there and i beat him with a clock
then he asked me what time is it
then i said it's time to leave
and when he got up he got stung by a bee
and then he flipped out and ran into a tree
then i grabbed one of my hoes and said
i'm glad it ain't me.
allegory, animal, blue, farm, funny, recovery from, sick,
When you're a sheep and feel unwell, it's also often true
When dipped into your medicine, you come up feeling blue
Blue from your woolly noggin-lid, down to your woolly socks
And inside from your woolly brain, down to your woolly hocks
So when you are a poorly sheep, and feel in poorly form
You're gonna feel off-colour, 'cos off-colour is the norm
And both insides and outsides are tinged with shades of blue
There's only one thing left to say, and that will be, "Poor Ewe!"
bird, environment, farm, funny, scary,
Funny little scarecrow
Stands there in a field of corn
This funny little fellow
He looks oh so forlorn
As he looks up to the sky
Raising his funny straw filled hat
He never gets a glimpse of crows
No crow from him has ever fled
He thought the crows they could not see him
For he was only two foot tall
Perhaps a bigger hat he needed
Maybe this would scare them all
So now he has a brand new hat
He scares those crows now all the time
When they try to eat the corn
Soon they're fleeing from their crime
funny, happiness, on work and working, farm,
I get paid driving a farm tractor
with sideline job as chiropractor;
I massage, soothe muscular pains,
move circulation through your veins;
though never trained in orthopedics,
I've got some real skills like the medics;
strained tendons or twisted ligaments,
come, just suit yourselves, my compliments;
I rub and press, and even squeeze
your bodies, limbs, extremities;
be yours the size of whales or eels,
your aches, your ills this masseur heals;
the contours of your anatomy
are easy topographies for me;
I've learned skills of a land surveyor
from years of driving a farm tractor.
animals, death, funny, imagination, life, nature
Down south on the small alligator farm
Alligators grown to size to alarm
All the workers there too scared
Of young gators as they aired
Parachuted food to keep them from harm
(Inspired by Carolyn's picture but not entry.)
Trump On A Funny Farm
Trump's lips do look like Donald Duck
Sad imitating palsied person when he does cluck
Like a cruddy chicken carries on and on
Sure hope pretty soon he will be gone.
Down people he will cut and criticize
Has short stubby hands and sleazy eyes
Then he really tries to put you to the test
When he starts a head-butting contest.
To keep up with Trump we simply refuse
Way people does mishandle and will misuse
Thought of him as President surely alarms
He belongs on either an animal or funny farm.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
I'm really an adult though my lims don't show it
Why should I grow up, it's more fun to emit
Say ga ga and goo goo
Or poopy and doo doo
Run when the funny farm wants you to commit