Humorous and funny Farm poems and/or funny poems about Farm. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Farm funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
farm, humorous, sexy,
Mary In the Dairy
A curvaceous lady named Mary
Just loved having sex in the dairy
When smothered with whipped cream
Her beau would lick her clean…
His Calorie intake was scary!!!
14th June 2016
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
animal, farm, funny,
Rear View Air
As soon as we got to the county fair
The country odor got through my nose hair
Coz above some milk pails
We encountered cow tails
Which filled our senses with their dairy-air
Written by
Bill Baker
Categories:
farm, funny, humor, life, poetry, scary, work,
Scary to Larry
There once was a farmer named Larry
With a hundred cows at his dairy
Larry did his best
Hired help for the rest
Milking that many cows was scary
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
animal, bird, farm, funny, music, silly, song,
Chicken Singing Turkey In the Straw
Buck buck buh-buck-buck
Buck buck buh-buck
Buck buck, buck buck, buck buck buck
Bucka buck bucka bucka buck
A'buck buck buck.
Buh-KAW k'buck buck
Buh-KAW k'buck
Buh-KAW k'buck buck
Buh-KAW k'buck
Buck buck buck buck
Buck buck buck
Bucka buck bucka bucka buck
A'buck buck buck.
Written by
Carol Sunshine Brown
Categories:
funny, nature, uplifting,
Funny Farm
cluck,oink,meow,quack,maa
****-a-doodle-do,moo,baa
tis my wild kingdom
written 2009
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
addiction, april, best friend, computer, confusion, courage, culture, cute love, earth, emotions, encouraging, environment, fantasy, farm, feelings, funny love, garden, happiness, happy, i love you, i miss you, inspirational, internet, irony, july, june, kiss, loneliness, love, magic, me, metaphor, nature, parody, repetition, satire, science, social, technology, tree, women, world, youth,
Tree
follow on facebook,
adore on pinterest,
fall in love on instagram,
kiss on a hunch,
all under a tree.
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
animal, farm, giggle, humor, humorous, image, silly,
a cow named mckuen
once an old cow named mckuen
her cud she always was chew'n
we asked please explain
when she crossed our lane
shor beats a' stand'n 'n moo'n.
Written by
Jack Horne
Categories:
fantasy,
Kids' Funny Farm
I live on a farm in the sky;
we milk all the pigs as they fly;
at harvest we reap
the eggs from the sheep,
and shear woolly cows in a sty.
Written by
Donna Jones
Categories:
farm, funny,
Poor Foghorn
My big ol' rooster,
thought he was **** of the walk...
Until....Red, my hen
ended it all today with
a flogging and loud squawk!..
©Donna Jones
11-11-2013
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
farm, funny, time,
A Farmer Named Brock
There once was a farmer named Brock
Who was proud of his timely ****.
‘Cept it rose too early
Surprising his Shirley
On the day we turned back the clock.
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
abuse, anti bullying, farm, giggle, humor, humorous, silly,
shorter farmer
a hungover farmer went one day
to a blacksmith shop to buy some hay
please dont think this funny
for he had no money
and so went home less vertebrae.
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
farm, humor,
The Delicate Matter of 'service'
When I was just a wee farm lad growin' up in Hoosier land,
There were many things about farm life I didn't quite understand!
One day I saw a neighbor leadin' a big bull down the gravel road.
I asked my dear old Pa about that and this is what I was told.
"Son, he's takin' that mean old bull to "service" a neighbor's cow."
The implications of that went over my tousled head then, but now,
I associate it with the "service" we git when dealin' with the IRS!
(Don't you think I handled a very delicate matter with a modicum of finesse!)
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Written by
Richard Karr
Categories:
funny, brother, brother, farm,
If I Beat You To the Barn
Farm boys, farm boys, go and do your chores
Better take your hat for it’s sunny out-of-doors
Farm boys, farm boys, gotta milk those cows
Milk-em twice a day and feed the hungry sows
Make your mother butter in the butter churn
Argue with your brother when you think it’s not your turn
Measure off the distance you both will have to run
Where it is you’ll need to go to get the milking done
Toe the mark to challenge your brother at the gate
Divvy up the pails to balance out the weight
Farm boys being farm boys down there on the farm
And you’ll milk the cows if I beat you to the barn
Written by
Diane Lefebvre
Categories:
bird, farm, grief, humorous, thanksgiving,
A Tale of Two Turkeys
Poor Thomas Turkey,
Alone in his pen.
Sits solemn and scared,
For they 'did in' his hen.
They took her off Sunday,
Then snuffed out her life.
And now he's alone,
Cause they've eaten his wife.
Thanksgiving now over,
He preens with relief.
He can muster a gobble,
Along with his grief.
He pecks round his pen,
For some 'scratch' sprinkled there.
Grows quite happy again,
Not remotely aware . .
That Christmas is coming
For family and friend,
And for Christmas, at dinner;
They'll eat turkey again.
© 2015 Diane Lefebvre
Written by
Brenda Meier-Hans
Categories:
animal, farm, funny, humor, humorous, nature, nonsense,
Farm Walk
Looking out the barn door in our back yard
I watched a deer run through our cow field,
acting like cow pies were mine fields.
He appeared not to like cows
and seemed to plug his nose
by lifting fat lips
to block nostrils
from smelling
to much
of
what
seemed too
unpleasant
for this fine beast.
He kept on running
lips flapping in the air
making funny bubbly sounds,
purposely or not, I'm not sure
But one thing I do know for certain.
This was the strangest deer I've ever seen.
Written by Brenda Meier-Hans
09.09.2014
For Shadow Hamilton's Contest
Double Reverse Etheree
1st
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
cheer up, earth, farm, flying, giggle, humor, humorous,
ufo
ufos fly lake erie
and blow air force theory
for each tows signs
flashing these lines
we stole a cow from oleary.
Written by
Diet Water
Categories:
bridal shower, farm, humor,
Clock and Hoes
I'm a farmer
and i like clocks and hoes
get your mind out of the gutter
i'm not talking about those
i use my hoes to get what a need
whether it's a new car or a fancy tv
i was short on money
so i put my hoes out for rent
but then i had to stop when a
couple came back bent
stop bending my hoes i said
then he threw a rock
so i went out there and i beat him with a clock
then he asked me what time is it
then i said it's time to leave
and when he got up he got stung by a bee
and then he flipped out and ran into a tree
then i grabbed one of my hoes and said
i'm glad it ain't me.
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
animal, dog, farm, funny, giggle, humor, pets,
farm dog
once an old dog named percy
licked a farmer quite slurply
then a homeless cow
with mimicked bowwow
licked them both without mercy.
Written by
Vera Duggan
Categories:
bird, environment, farm, funny, scary,
Funny Little Fellow
Funny little scarecrow
Stands there in a field of corn
This funny little fellow
He looks oh so forlorn
As he looks up to the sky
Raising his funny straw filled hat
He never gets a glimpse of crows
No crow from him has ever fled
He thought the crows they could not see him
For he was only two foot tall
Perhaps a bigger hat he needed
Maybe this would scare them all
So now he has a brand new hat
He scares those crows now all the time
When they try to eat the corn
Soon they're fleeing from their crime
Written by
Clifford Villalon
Categories:
animal, farm, funny,
Donkey of Your Eye
Donkey in the farm, strong hoofs romping
Wonky when you charm, long spoofs hooting
Donkey standing as you stare, shy when you dare
Teeth grinning as you glare, dry when you blare
Sweet and gentle that sire, donkey of your eye
Lifeguard under fire, wise and clean with your lye
Written by
Lee Leon
Categories:
allegory, animal, blue, farm, funny, recovery from, sick,
Poor Ewe
When you're a sheep and feel unwell, it's also often true
When dipped into your medicine, you come up feeling blue
Blue from your woolly noggin-lid, down to your woolly socks
And inside from your woolly brain, down to your woolly hocks
So when you are a poorly sheep, and feel in poorly form
You're gonna feel off-colour, 'cos off-colour is the norm
And both insides and outsides are tinged with shades of blue
There's only one thing left to say, and that will be, "Poor Ewe!"
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
animal, children, funny,
The New Farm Animal
Camelia Rose blew her nose,
The noise was quite gigantic,
Elouise goose flapped her wings,
Other animals were acting frantic.
Betsy dog ducked in her kennel
As the din echoed round the farm,
It sounded like a foghorn
And was causing such alarm.
Neddy horse hid in his stall,
Clara cow inside the milking shed,
The pigs no longer at their trough
Waiting to be fed.
When the sound finally disappeared
Camelia Rose spoke in a voice so calm,
"I'm just a llama with a cold,
No one will come to harm."
Written by
Daniel Turner
Categories:
animal, farm, funny,
Back To the Barnyard
When strangers see me they laugh
Thinking I have no class
But I tell the farmer they're here
Cause I'm smart and I have no fear
I'm the guardian most preferred
Over cattle, goat and sheep herds
I always announce all strangers
And alert of immediate danger
I'm loyal, gentle and kind
Jump higher than any equine
Stronger than many men put together
A nanny or surrogate, whatever?
Here comes my owner now
I'll pretend I'm as dumb as a cow
He serves breakfast but no demi tasse
"Good morning, you old jackass"
Then I grin and loudly bray
Cause hee haw, hee haw, hee halways talks to me that way
Feb 18 2016 by Daniel Turner
Written by
Just James
Categories:
crazy,
Funny Farm
I fly through the smoky air
then I poke a big brown bear
I balance on a tight rope
and I slide down a steep slope
I eat a ball of fire
and I do things to admire
I clown around and juggle
but with sharp knives I struggle
the things around me do break
but only when I’m awake!
my audience stops to stare
at the straight jacket I wear
bars in my window number
I count till pills bring slumber
Written by
Romeo Naces
Categories:
funny, happiness, on work and working, farm,
Chiropractor's Tractor
I get paid driving a farm tractor
with sideline job as chiropractor;
I massage, soothe muscular pains,
move circulation through your veins;
though never trained in orthopedics,
I've got some real skills like the medics;
strained tendons or twisted ligaments,
come, just suit yourselves, my compliments;
I rub and press, and even squeeze
your bodies, limbs, extremities;
be yours the size of whales or eels,
your aches, your ills this masseur heals;
the contours of your anatomy
are easy topographies for me;
I've learned skills of a land surveyor
from years of driving a farm tractor.