Humorous and funny Father Daughter poems and/or funny poems about Father Daughter. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Father Daughter funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Father Daughter Poems.
father daughter, health, humorous,
I’d heap spoonfuls of sugar in my tea
I wouldn’t drink it without it you see
That sweet syrupy drink
Wasn’t poured down the sink
Every single drop was supped up by me!
Dad’s diabetes made me think -
Did I need to sweeten my drink
So I cut sugar out
And I don’t have a doubt
I’m slimmer and I’m in the pink
Contest: Two Lenses
Sponsor Sara Kendrick
12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,
When I grow up, will I still be princess?
Of course, says glowing daddy.
A roll of the queen’s eyes.
age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Just like you!
dad, family, father daughter, humorous, sister,
Daddy had a mantel clock on that shelf above the fire.
I remember how it sometimes seemed to call my Sis a liar.
Sis would be out on a date and the wheels of time would turn
My dad, it seemed would always be awake when she returned.
Now Daddy was quite strict on Sis – at nine she must be in.
And she was in real trouble if it was as late as ten.
“Darlin’, what’s the time?” he’d yell as she slipped in..
“Daddy, it’s about nine,” she’d shout, as that old clock struck ten.
Written By John Posey
child, christmas, conflict, father daughter, humorous, parody,
Pa threw all my new toys away
Now my friends won’t want to come and play
Cos I was naughty yesterday
All the gifts disappeared from ‘neath the tree
Now the carpet’s bare for all to see
Pa snapped at me so suddenly
Why I had to drown our old cat
I cannot say
She fell in the loo so I flushed
the cat awayyyyyyyyyyy
Pa threw all my new toys away
Santa delivered them on his red sleigh
But when Pa is mad, there’s no leeway
Purely Fictional write inspired by hearing Yesterday on the radio
birth, father, father daughter, humorous, universe,
I gave birth to a thought today
A shiny little supposition
It wept about all the possibilities
Like protons racing around an atom blaster
My thoughts began to multiply
It was the Big Bang of my Universe
Then I heard the voice of an angel
Say, “Daddy, this is my science project.”
And now the birth of a thought
Gave birth to a Black Hole
angst, father, father daughter, father son, funny, integrity, silly,
"Knock-Knock!" - Who's there?
"Diaphragms!" - Diaphragms who?
"Diaphragms...Don't always seem to work...
...I don't know how else to tell you this...
...So I am just gonna say it
as politically correct
and incorrectly apolitical
as I've been reprogrammed to speak
by The Disney Company:
"Luke, I am your sperm donor!"
- I sure hope I don't disappoint you as much
as George Lucas disappoints God and such..."
father daughter, humor,
Young Deborah's text to her dad
revealed that her skills are quite bad.
She meant, "Just got paid,"
but said, "Just got laid."
Her dad was astonished and MAD!
When Deb realized what she'd said,
her face turned a bright, glowing red.
What did she do next?
She sent a new text:
"I ment PADE, firgiv me!" she pled.
July 25, 2016
written for Royal Ninja's Crimson Poetry Contest
anxiety, beautiful, education, father daughter, growing up, horror, humor,
I have two daughters beautiful and smart,
I knew that from the start.
Equality with men
I know is important to them.
I just hope they are not in a hurry
As I don't know many men who can be
Right 50 percent of the time like me.
And if they by chance marry some swine,
Will they have to share their jail time.
daughter, father, father daughter, funny, girl, humor, humorous,
I used to watch those Girls Gone Wild videos but I stopped.
The last one that I saw was so shocking that my jaw dropped.
At first everything was fine but then I suddenly screamed "No, not her!"
The reason why I suddenly screamed was because I saw my daughter.
Seeing her on that video nearly gave me a heart attack, I was in a bad shape.
I called the Girls Gone Wild phone number and I ordered all of those tapes.
I burned every one of those tapes after I doused them with gas.
Then I told my daughter that if she ever removes her top again, I'll kick her ***.
I made a firm decision right there and then.
I swore never to watch Girls Gone Wild again.
(This is a fictional poem)
christmas, father daughter, humorous,
Her father gave her a burial blot
(Not jewellery or clothes or a yacht!)
When Debbie’s interred low
Will they add a gift bow
Still for now it’s a gift she’ll boycott!
I read this article on-line from the ‘Mirror’ newspaper and I couldn’t resist writing a limerick about it.
I would have loved to see her face when she was told what she had been given!
character, confusion, father daughter, funny, giggle, humor, humorous,
GOOD MORNING MISTER WALKA
Good morning Mister WALKA
I come to see your DAUGHTA,
I hope it's not ah BOTHA,
Cause all I really wanted was a cold glass of WATA
And so, if it is not such ah BOTHA, Mister WALKA
I'd love to give her a QUARTA,
If she would give me a cold glass of WATA.
So, what do you say Mister WALKA? can I see your DAUGHTA, right away
Before LATA, if you may. And if it is not such ah BOTHA.
By the way, are you sure, you are her FATHA, and not her BROTHA? For you sure act like her MOTHA. Oh shoot! MR. WALKA, why did I even BOTHA with you,
When I could have gone to AH-NOTHA.
animal, dark, father daughter, humor, psychological,
dusk’s love-locked braces —
dad resounds shooting antler
off bucks to detach
Senryu - Humorous, Satirical or Dark Poetry
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
father daughter, humorous,
Digger from Oyster Bay
There once was a digger from old Oyster Bay
Who did the right thing on a very wrong day
While taking a hike down a long winding trail
Saw his daughter and mailman delivering mail
Surprisingly on take your daughter to work day
adventure, angst, animal, anxiety, daughter, father daughter, giggle,
My wife needed a wig for the ball
For hers you see wouldn't do at all.
For she colored and cropped
And then finally chopped,
Till it now fits our daughter's toy doll.
daughter, father daughter, father son, humor, humorous, men, son,
I’ve been called an inequity spotter
(although some will just call me a “rotter”).
Names are biased for sons:
yours and mine — everyone’s.
I propose to make JohnSON — JohnDAUGHTER.
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
city, family, father, father daughter, father son, hero, humor,
An old gent was tellin' me about how his dad wrote "a dry book" on a given topic, and argued the issue before the Supreme Court. Pretty important dad! And mine? "My dad rescued two hookers during a boxer riot in Kowloon."
Manon Boudreau STAR CHILD NEBULA
blessing, father daughter, fathers day, funny, god, inspirational love, mentor,
Who was granted his wish
A Happy Father's Day
I honor you and pray
Time to notice all you have done
To makes us as one
Life has been enjoyed
Filled my heart with so much joy
We still got silly you and me
Built such precious memories
Clearly sent from above
Has always been our love
Love you Daddy
You are my harvest tree that is kept within me
Watch as I have grown
Through every lesson you have shown
Proud to call you Dad
For you are the best I could of had