Humorous and funny Fear poems and/or funny poems about Fear. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Fear funny poems!
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
fear, humor, inspirational,
A Fear Greater Than Death
There is just one thing people fear more than death
Speaking before an audience
Really, more than death?
Written by
Tomas Vazquez
Categories:
adventure, easter, fear, funny, nonsense, religion
Twas the Night Before Easter
He knows if you are sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if you've been bad or good.
Zombie Jesus must be staked!
So eat your crackers and wine,
And think that you'll be saved,
But that's not why he's here because
Your brains are what he craves!
He'll never stop his rampage.
Not until he's fully fed,
But nothing satisfies his hunger
Like what rattles in your head.
He's coming down the chimney.
He's underneath your bed.
You think you can outrun him,
But soon you will be dead.
So you better not whisper,
You better not cry
Cuz even a shot between his eyes
Won't stop Zombie Jesus, tonight..
Written by
CayCay Godwin
Categories:
fear, funny,
My Human Folly
We will all die
So we cry loud
And try for thought.
Wrong lane, wrong way.
Death delay, pray.
Cars stray and honk.
Oh, please, cars – clear.
Turns appear soon,
I steer, we cheer.
Written by
Lochan Chugh
Categories:
death, emotions, fear, humor, life, loneliness
Let's Die
It was a height of 250 metres,
But I wasn’t afraid;
I looked down
And there wasn’t even my shade.
The sun was already jumping
But with a low speed,
“ I can perform better,
I am not going to give the lead.”
Took a deep breath
And I was in air,
Time stopped,
And silence reached there.
The sun began moving upward,
Or I began moving downward,
I was flying,
But like a dead bird.
When from the ground,
I wasn’t really high;
Mind said,“ change in plan,
Let the sun first die”.
Written by
Paloma P
Categories:
allegory, day, deep, emotions, fear, humor
Nothing More Or Less
hid insecurities within
ambiguous humor &
convoluted whimsies,
rules consistently changing
in a game which required
hardly more than breath,
nothing less than obscurity
twisting a fallible fancy,
seizing day's intangibility
Written by
Evelyn Judy Buehler
Categories:
dark, fantasy, fear, fun, funny, hilarious
Beware
The rimpledeeduggs klacklety splatt britly floaming,
Ere flamping drakkurz snazzle at elvitty gloaming;
Yon jamweezy wudderslimps gamwracks smotly crawling,
Hoytaling pagartrimps flotlessly wrothful in bawling!
Beete stell ere yethle flagorns craithen yere eise,
Ort smoothle yourn mithredoons bakk toon codry skize;
Bodryluntz quidups moost stupuddle cudgely pierdax,
And zakkertic flibboots wraithling in yert tardly tracks!
Written by
Edward Ibeh
Categories:
adventure, emotions, fear, humor,
Gone Spelunking
I went in not feeling much excitement.
Further into the cave I did venture.
Claustrophobia robs my enjoyment
As I began my scary adventure;
Far from ideal stroll out in nature.
I vowed "I'm done being a thrill seeker!"
As I trailed other spelunkers deeper...
Into the cave afraid it might cave in!
Luckily, I didn't meet the grim reaper!
Try again? Now that's a cardinal sin!
Date written: 10/11/2020
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
fear, humor,
- Cheap Soap -
Pat lived in externality
Thanks to frugality
his life insurance ... cheap soap
blissful moment of life's hopes
2 bucks saved his mortality
* Stay healthy ... wash your hands often *
23.03.2020
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Written by
Theresa A.K.A. Reecie
Categories:
fear, funny, social,
The Sad Truth About Life
Oh the horror!
For people,
it's just fun!
~Reecie
Written by
Mark Goodson
Categories:
childhood, family, fear, children, funny, life
A Mother's Discipline
With soap in hand placed in my mouth
Head hangs over toliet tongue heads south
Dirty words no more
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny,
I Fear That Pinocchio -
Confessed to creator Geppetto
"Got a fetish, I think you should know
Often I fiddle
‘Round with my middle
Take a look-see how THAT baby grows!"
Sumitted for: Roy Jerden's contest
Written by
Kim Shaw
Categories:
assonance, fear, funny,
Spider Hyper
Picnic was peaceful
A spider crawled down her neck
screech heard round the world
Written by
Timothy Hicks
Categories:
anxiety, bereavement, courage, fear, humor, loneliness
Is Humanity That Bad
"Is humanity that bad?" pondered the lighthouse keeper, frightened with the sea
Written March 27th, 2016
For the See or Feel Contest Hosted by Poet Destroyer
Placed 2nd
Written by
Richard Lamoureux
Categories:
childhood, desire, fear, giggle, growing up,
She Is Chiclet Perfection
There is nothing better than seeing that smile!
Her crinkled nose and effortless style
Chiclet perfect and care free
The best way to be
Angelic
She
With her clique
They just walk by me
It appears I'm hard to see
Still I choose to stick around a while
There is nothing better than seeing that smile!
A school boy's nightmare, occupying the space outside the friend zone.
For Andrea's new form contest.
A name for the form: Double Triangulation.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
fear, food, graduation, humorous,
Graduation Dessert Dilemma
Reading my son’s graduation dinner menu
It filled me with consternation
Will I make a foolish choice …
I’m full of trepidation
My favourite dessert is on the list
It’s stiffie cockie pudding
Oops – there I go I meant sticky toffee pudding
If I make my spoonerism – I hope and pray it will be missed!!
My first poem posted here is called ‘Just Desserts’ and is a true story. When I read my son’s graduation dinner menu I just HAVE to order this pudding – wish me luck on the day!!!!
6th June 2016
Written by
Tammy Reams
Categories:
fear, humorous, men, pain, power,
Men and Hunting
Brave man
buckshot
rear rump
hot lead
stings red
pants drop
sees blood
Fainted!
3/30/15 contest sponsored by: Judy Konos 'Your Footle Poem'
T Reams 1st Place
Written by
Linda-Marie Sweetheart
Categories:
fear, funny,
Joe Willie Namath
"Joe Willie Namath"
Joe Willie Namath
Super Bowl famous
shaved his football legs to sell pantyhose
wore white mink coat on sidelines for camera pose.
Broadway Joe Willie
drinking booze made him silly
on ESPN ..Suzie refused to be kissed
captured on sports video fans booed and hissed.
*For P.D.'S Clerihew Contest.
Written by
J.W. Earnings
Categories:
adventure, animal, confusion, courage, fear, funny
Zookeeper
Lookin' after pests
Keepin' a CLOSE eye on 'em
"Those wild animals!"
Roamin' around zoo
Searchin' for sneaky monkey
Hidin' in a tree
Zookeeper gets mad
"Where's Marty, the smartypants!?"
"He TOOK my cage keys!"
Written by
Kim Merryman
Categories:
fear, funny,
I Don'T Like Spiders
Spiders and I have a deal,
They don't come near me and I won't squeal.
But sometimes they forget,
Then I get upset,
And I squeal cause they broke our deal!
8/2/13
Written by
Keith Dovoric
Categories:
age, fear, funeral, funny, hyperbole, irony
Prolonged Life
I wanna live to a hundred-and-three
A minor footnote in history
Oh yeah
I wanna live to a hundred-and-six
They’ll bury my bones among the sticks
Oh yeah
I wanna live to a hundred-and-nine
My blood just like fermented wine
Oh yeah
I wanna live to a hundred-and-twelve
Baby I’ll never kill myself
Oh no
I wanna live to a hundred-fifteen
Ride in some futuristic limousine
Oh yeah
I wanna live to a hundred-and-twenty
Food for flowers in the Land of Plenty
Oh yeah
I wanna live to one-twenty-five
All you gotta do is survive
Oh yeah
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
fear, humor,
Winded
Luke lived in a place prone to an earthquake.
One in the offing made him shiver and shake.
He decided to act with full speed
Throwing caution to the wind indeed.
And moved to south Florida for safety’s sake.
Written by
Jason Talbott
Categories:
fear, funny,
Pogonophobia
Fuzzily Wuzzily
Benjamin Gib-a-ney
Grew him a beard which was
Coming in fine.
Then he found out he had
Pogonophobia.
He can shave his, but he'd
Best not touch mine.
Written by
Marycile Beer
Categories:
funny, imagination, life,
Numb With Fear Part 2
I am in deep despair
I fear my name he will smear
I don’t know who he is
But I hope he uses a little sense.
I understand My Cowboys
Heard about OUR LOVE STORY
And this one guy
Says he’ll tell ALL
I don’t know what he can tell
Billy wasn’t a gossip
And neither am I
So whatever you do hear
Will surely be lies
I didn’t know how to title this poem
Head Hung is used and also Boo Hoo
And I didn’t know what to do
So I though I should at least warn you.
Please, Please I beg of you
Take it all with a grain of salt
And if you should choose
A little bit of lime is good too.
So I hear
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
animal, cat, fear, horror, humor, nursery rhyme
Kitty Katy
Kitty Katy, bigger than holsteins
Killed a St. Bernard
Pretty Kitty scratched up my blue jeans
Left my legs all scarred.
My big kitty scares the bejabbers
Out of my sorry hide
Such loud thuds of her pitter-patters
The blood-prints of her stride.
What did she kill tonight?
Who did she rend and bite?
What did she eat?
What kind of meat?
When must I stand and fight?
Kitty wrestled an anaconda
Then ate just the head
I took off on my cherry Honda
Scared I'd next be dead.
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
fantasy, fear, funny, hilarious,
Green Eyed Monster
I had some extra green paint
Oh what can I do to make her faint
So a dabbed a bit down below
When in the room she came for a blow
I yelled
Green-eyed monster is waiting to show
She fainted
Notes:
ok ok I saw so many poems with this topic, I said what the hell, why not!