Humorous and funny Flu poems and/or funny poems about Flu. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Flu funny poems!
Written by
Viv Wigley
Categories:
humor,
Man Flu
“Darlig, by dose is still ruddig,
ad by tubby is poorly as well,
by head is id paid
ab i'b also afraid that by throat
is dow burdig like hell “.
His wife then stopped doing the ironing
even though her left arm's in a sling,
and fed him his soup with a spoon to his mouth
and pouted to him “ you poor thing”.
As she got out the hoover to vacuum
and watched as his arms hung down limp,
she looked to the sky and said “ God, tell me why
did you marry me off to a wimp?”
Written by
Tirzah Conway
Categories:
allegory, angst, fantasy, funny, holiday, imagination,
Brown Bag Flu
I made myself sick with the brown bag flu,
From drinking too much of that “Mountain Dew”;
So here’s what I say,
NO drinking today;
I pray this never happens to you!
Written by
Curtis Moorman
Categories:
funny,
The Flu
There was a young man from Rangou
Who had a bad case of the flu
His plans were all spoiled
So he took castor oil
Now he spends lots of time in the loo
Written by
Debra Squyres
Categories:
funny,
Flu Greetings
There once was a man with the flu
Shaking hands saying "How do you do?"
When next did we meet
My reply to his greet
Was a germ-ridden, spitting "Achoooo!!"
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny, health
Swine-Flu Paranoia
I fear you are spreading a dreadful disease
You cough sounds contagious...I shrink when you sneeze!
I have one small issue
Where the HECK is your tissue?
Don't spray your infection on ME (If you please)
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
funny, health,
Iths the Cold and Flu Theason
My nothe ith sthopped up and I can't respthire
My lungths are congeshted and all afire
My eyeths are rheumy and red
Perthspiration floods my bed
Merthy Lord! I think I'm gonna exthpire
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Righths Retherved
First Place in Gwendolyn's " The Sneezing Limerick" Contest - January 2012
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
funny, health
Man Flu
The snot monster’s got me
He’s inside my head
I shouldn’t be working
But home in my bed
I’m sniffing and snuffling
And blowing my nose
I’m trying to hang on
Till the snot monster goes
The snot monster’s got me
I’m feeling so grotty
It’s hard doing work
When you’re bunged up and snotty
As I sit here and cough
And I shiver and shake
I am wondering just
How much more I can take
The aches are subsiding
The coughing has eased
I was getting quite miffed
About being teased
Remarks about man flu
Drove me round the bend
So I’m pleased to announce
I’ve infected my friend
Written by
Kim Merryman
Categories:
funny, health,
No Time For the Flu
How dare that flu bug touch me!
Doesn't it know I'm as busy as a bee?
I don't have time to be sick,
I must be up quick.
What do you mean, it's not up to me?
12/29/11 For Gwendolyn's "The Sneezing Limerick" contest.
Written by
John Smith
Categories:
funny, healthme,
I Got the Flu
My head aches and a drowsy dampness
pains my sense, and makes me
pray these germs stamp less
hard on my eyeballs’ scleriae.
You tell me how swiftly it flows;
this never ending sneezing,
this liquefaction in my nose,
These lungs that won’t stop wheezing.
My skin’s red hot and wrinkled;
zillions of germs infest my liver.
My tongue’s dried up and crinkled,
and I just shake and shiver.
You vapo rub my back.
What?...ice water enema me!
Between these germs and you, you quack,
you're my new worst enemy.
Written by
Russell Sivey
Categories:
funny, life, day,
The Flu Enveloped Me
I started the day wholly fresh and free
Allowing this flu to envelope me
I sparked a fever
Puked up a beaver
Waiting for the day I’ll heal so fully
Russell Sivey
Entrant into ~Gwendolen~'s "The Sneezing Limerick Contest"
Written by
Ibrahim Ansari
Categories:
funny,
The Flu
The Flu
You are living a happy normal life,
It catches you without a clue,
While you come out of the swimming pool,
And then you sneeze you know you have flu.
It makes you fell sneezy and chilly,
It sticks to you like solid glue,
You never expect it to strike,
It comes like a bolt from the blue.
You go under blankets and cuddle your hot water bag,
You drink out of a bottle dreaded,
And only warm soup is what you eat,
No chicken neither fried nor breaded
You learn to hate this dismal day,
You wait for the day you get up and play,
At start it feels nice with all the pampering,
But it turns to dread when you realize you can’t go scampering.
Written by
Tahnee Frtiz
Categories:
humor, humorous, sick, silly,
Here's To the Flu
Here’s to the stomach bug, virus, and cold
Oh how your symptoms and side effects get old.
I hate feeling achy, tired, and sore.
I hate feeling pukey, which sucks even more.
You made me miss a day’s worth of work.
Especially the pay, the most important perk.
I hope that tonight you’ll grant me some rest,
So I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling my best.
Written by
Paul Curtis
Categories:
funny
I Don'T Bother With Flu Jabs
Its flu jab season again
But I always give them a pass
I self medicate with alcohol
It really is first class
So just say to the doc
When he starts to tut
That a shot in your glass
Is better than one in the butt
Written by
Kathy Fretwell Gandy
Categories:
funny, health,
The Flu
Coughing
Sneezing
Runny Nose.
Am I getting sick,
do you suppose?
Tired
Achy
Watery eyes.
This bug caught me
by surprise!
Nausea
Fever
No appetite.
I have the flu,
I'd say that's right!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
humorous, silly, space,
Martian With the Flu
There once was a Martian had the flu
He tried to talk, but out came Achoo!
He went to the Doc
Who knocked on his block
After that he screamed Nanu, Nanu!
Written by
Rebecca Ann
Categories:
humor, humorous,
Catching the Flu
Catching the flu starts with a sneeze,
a tickle of the throat and a little wheeze.
Your nose will start draining an abundance of mucus.
Hacking and coughing sounds become a nuisance
Fever, chills, your body is infested
Your head and Joints ache so Tylenol is digested
You are now a pariah to the common health.
People that come in contact brace themselves.
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, sick,
Sue Has Flu
In bed
Stuffed head
Plugged nose
Can't doze
On pot
A lot
Throws up
Can't sup
Back sore
Pulse poor
Does ail
Quite pale
Can't rest
Tight chest
Throat sore
Ears roar
Temp high
Eyes dry
Weak knees
Feet freeze
Has chills
Takes pills
Did not
Take shot
Now Sue
Has flu
Written by
Alkas Poetry
Categories:
allusion, anxiety, appreciation, cute love, extended metaphor, funny, sweet love,
Mariana and Flu
Mariana
Mariana of mine,
for your flu
I offer you
solidarity
address
my esteem...
My love
my respect...
Ah! Vitamin C
and lovely bed...!