Humorous and funny For Her poems and/or funny poems about For Her. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious For Her funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other For Her Poems.
for her, humorous,
She went into the closet one day
But what a high price she did pay
Her hubby he wanted a cuddle
But this act soon burst their bubble
The door of the closet shut fast
His ardour was a thing of the past
Their claustrophobia was getting worse
So Andrea checked in her old purse
She found an old credit card
Joe picked the lock, which was hard
After 20 minutes they were free
The relief on their face plain to see
Take heed - next time you are after a ‘screw’
Make sure the door doesn’t close on you!
Written after reading her blog and posted with permission from Andrea Dietrich
20th February 2015
John Henry Galas
beauty, body, cute love, for her, funny, i love you, princess,
I don't care if you are inaccurate.
I don't care if you're a tomboy.
I don't care if you're an oval or a circle.
I don't care where you come from or what you were.
I don't even care if you have a coconut cream pie-in-the-face.
You are good.
You are perfect.
You are a princess.
And I will always love you.
Like you should love yourself.
for her, humorous, nature,
When a Norwegian cow passes gas
They want to tax the gas from its ‘***’
A cow passes 4 tonnes of methane each year
Just imagine the stink from its rear!!!!
Thanks for the inspiration Anne Lise ***
31st March 2016
car, for her, humorous,
Andrea was late - drove at the speed of light
Traffic cops chased her - she got such a fright
The cop got out his book
Gave her a stern look
She’s off to traffic school so she now gets it right
Posted with full permission of Andrea (speedy) Dietrich
2nd April 2015
fantasy, for her, fun, humorous, poetry, , cute,
Oh PD Linda’s a wily sly fox
She wants us to think outside the box
But I should be in bed
Rest my poor aching head
I have joined the school of hard knocks
I can’t think of a pesky line to write
For Linda’s entertainment and delight
But my muse has now flown
My poor brain's turned to stone
Will someone help me with my plight?
Oh what on earth am I going to do -
I wish that we had a new local zoo
I’d see a cute unicorn
That was recently born
Linda - I’ll think of a poem for you!
Any poem #38 sponsored by PD
desire, first love, for her, friendship, friendship love, funny love, meaningful,
I am vaporizing in your eyes slowly
Noiselessly, clearly, and helplessly
Am I willing to be absorbed as steam?
No! my feeling is no but wordlessly
I am vaporizing in your eyes helplessly
As immediate as I saw you saw me
You turned me into steam softly
What should I do immediately?
Seeping into your soul completely?
Or hiding into the cloud urgently?
food, for her, humorous,
Sweet Caren’s an ace masticator
and opens her mouth like a gator
Breakfast dinner and tea
She will chew thoroughly
Her husband just acts as her waiter!
Inspired by this poem written by Caren Krutsinger
Posted with full permission of Caren
age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Just like you!
beautiful, change, cheer up, confidence, cool, courage, cute love, deep, destiny, emotions, environment, fantasy, fear, feelings, first love, for her, funny love, happiness, happy, how i feel, humanity, hyperbole, i am, i love you, inspiration, journey, joy, life, lost love, love, love hurts, miss you, missing, missing you, ocean, paradise, philosophy, pride, romance, romantic, senses, smile, spring, sunshine, travel, uplifting, wind,
imagine the rainbow being
the dark tunnel
you've been stuck in for years
the lighthouse on the horizon,
that gets brighter as it nears
get soaked in the rain,
feel the sun in your heart,
let go of all your fears.
fishing, for her, funny, romance,
Are your feet tired? You've been running through my mind all night.
appreciation, for her, funny, humor, life, sexy, work,
I'm retired but do I still have a life
Yes, sexual adviser I am to my wife
But if I say try this
It'll be totally bliss
If I desire I'll ask for your advice
Challenged to write on the back of a Joke!
Peter Lewis Holmes
emotions, for her, gender, humor, woman,
A woman is fire, love, adventure;
A cigar is only a smoke.
absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,
You send bolts through my skin
something I was never to
accomplish with you, when I
saw you it's like my heart sank
to my stomach and I was in
shock my body still my body
heavy felt like when I moved I
was about to fall to my knees
you make me want to get
inside my brain pick you up and
take you out pick you one by
one like a flower because I do
love you and love you not.
cute love, for her, for him, funny love, humorous, marriage, smile,
Hello Honey, are you feeling sunny
or another day of crummy?
Are you going to be grumpy
because your a little lumpy?
Your still my little hunky
because your always spunky.
I love you my sweet Honey
because your never a dummy!
For my sweet hubby T Reams
age, body, for her, humorous,
Sue’s bedclothes are soaking wet
She lies in a pool of hot sweat
Now what could be the cause …
Is it the menopause?
Her body won’t let her forget!
Sue's face gets bright red and flushed
She pretends it’s because she’s rushed
Her body is changing
She knows she is ageing -
But this subject mustn’t be discussed!
Written for a friend who is having these symptoms - Sue is not her real name!
5th October 2016
beauty, for her, for him, humor, love, people, sexy,
That look in her Scotsman's eyes
When his darling opened her thighs
Such a welcoming sight
He entered his night
As loving groans mellowed to sighs
for her, for him, funny,
If you see
a man opens
the car door
for a woman ....
He certainly has
a brand new car ...
or a very young
and beautiful mistress
His pride ...
a conquest ...
the gleaming varnish
reminds him of
sensual red woman lips
in his eyes -
you will always
be his number two
A-L Andresen :))
feelings, for her, funny, kiss, lust, work,
I can tell you want to talk, but don’t know what to say
I better think of something quick, before you go away
I wonder if you think about me, when I’m out of sight
I think about you all the time and can’t get sleep at night
I want to kiss you as you stand there looking at the floor
I want to draw my office shades and have you ask for more
I could be wrong that you like me, a fate much worse than death
So I’ll just talk about the weather, until I’m out of breath
addiction, anniversary, anxiety, art, baby, beautiful, beauty, blessing, boyfriend, class, confidence, conflict, desire, destiny, devotion, education, environment, faith, fantasy, fate, feelings, for her, fun, funny love, future, giggle, girlfriend, happiness, heart, heaven, life, light, loneliness, lonely, lost, lust, magic, strength, stress, sweet love, symbolism,
Often, I have uttered these words to myself
Your feminity has entranced my manhood
My vision is focused on your subject matter
A quick study of a woman's psychology
I feel you with my mind, and touch you with my eyes
Senses are heightened in your very presence
Soon, I will utter the ultimate words of encouragement
Constant admiration for your hidden strengths
Instant chemistry between us has changed our biology
Soon, I will hold you tight and recite the following;
Baby, I love you
allusion, crush, flower, for her, giving, humorous,
@ @ @
@ W @
@ h o u @
@ y @
@ @ @
t n c
m e f l o w e r s ?
birthday, emotions, for her, friendship, funny love,
In no fewer words can I explain
the aura of lithe this lady contain
from witty banter to affectionate touch
her gracious presence only missing a blush
True, it's been a while since we were ourselves
but at least it gave me time to reflect on you
in anxious times when you calmed our nerves
and the nightly chats, those I treasure too
Though it seems I tender not a hearty soul
and times I keep much more than I show
within these words I wish you will find
how highly a friend I esteem you in mind
Till I find others so true
all my nights shall be dreams of you ,
body, for her, for him, hair, humorous, mother son,
Phil’s caveman look is very weird
He really should shave off his beard
His mother is right
He looks a strange sight
The Neanderthal look’s to be feared!
Since December Phil’s been hirsute
He needs to give his beard a boot
He’ll cut it off in the sink
But his mum won’t cause a stink
Cos without it he looks real cute!
Poem Posted with Kind permission of Phillip Garcia
To understand the poem please read my comments on Phillip's poem
boyfriend, care, dedication, devotion, faith, first love, for her, for him, gender, girlfriend, happiness, happy, heart, heaven, home, house, how i feel, humor, husband, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, kiss, longing, love, marriage, miss you, missing, poems, poetry, romance, romantic, together, words,
When I hear your name
My heart beats faster than usual
It's not that I am ashame
But It's just your name is too special..
Can't control the feelings
When I am with you
Can't stop smiling
When you hold me like you do
When you hug me then
I feel like I'm in heaven
You are a blessing from above
And you are the reason why I loved
I'll promise to love you FOREVERMORE..
And I will cherish you until the end of my borrowed life
And I will keep our precious memories as long as
we see each other in our next life..
for her, for him, funny,
“He glides into my parlour with his shades a tad too low
Saying can you clip my moustache, I like whisk ‘n’ show.
So I take out my old blade and nip and oops I think I missed
Now he’s suing me for having nicked his upper lip, he’s pissed.”
“She says I tried to kiss her in the most sensual way
Full of Scotch whisky drunk just because I wouldn’t pay.
I saw the old blade heading for my throat thinking a joke
But this old queen pissed her off because I thought her a bloke.”
© Harry J Horsman & Mystic Rose
for her, friendship, funny, joy, life, self, technology,
Dear OLD BOYS -
I wanted to make smart boy toys
but instead made several smart joy toys
and tried them out
in different colors and sizes
for me and my friends
and gave them a brain
they can also be warmed up in a warm box
or cooled in an ice cold box
kept one for myself
and gave some to my girlfriends
we don’t need old boys
to find joy or jobs
or the meaning of life
since we now have and self control
THE SMART OLD BOY JOY TOY
called mine iTOYBOY for year-round iJOY and iJOBS
still COMES in different colors and sizes
A MERRY XMAS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY
ALL IN ONE!