Humorous and funny Fred poems and/or funny poems about Fred. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Fred funny poems!
Written by
Gregory Richard Barden
Categories:
humor, humorous, snow, winter,
Fred
I walked by a snowman named Fred
Who stood on his twigs and his head
He hid both his stalks
With poorly-matched socks
And showed off his snowballs instead.
~ 1st Place ~ in the "Christmas Limericks (New Or Old)" Poetry Contest, Carolyn Devonshire, Judge & Sponsor.
~ 6th Place ~ in the "Your Best Single Limerick Five Lines Only" Poetry Contest, Robert Haigh, Sponsor.
~ 1st Place ~ in the "Upside-Down World - Limerick" Poetry Contest, Eve Roper, Sponsor.
Written by
Tom Cunningham
Categories:
death, humor,
Fred the Baker Rip
In this vault are a few crumbs of crusty old Fred
He got stuck in an oven and got baked with the bread
A very popular man, his friends didn't think twice
When offered a keepsake, their very own slice.
Written 14 April 2019.
Not for contest.
Written by
Christopher Bunton
Categories:
funny, new years day,
Uncle Fred
Uncle Fred always hated his weight,
So, he resolved to put less on his plate.
It was hard for him to see,
Looking down to go pee,
And he almost crushed a hot date.
For the limerick in my pocket new years resolution limerick contest.
Written by
Drjim Martin
Categories:
humorous,
Bald Fred
Bald Fred
Dr. James E. Martin
©March, 2014
They simply called him Fred.
He had not a hair on his head.
He was bald as a ball
From the bowling mall
But not quite as round it was said.
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny,
Fred Wins the Lottery
Winning millions, Fred acted insane,
Raced his new Benz and crashed in the rain.
All that money he won
Went for surgeries done
To repair both his body and brain!
For Susan Burch's
Lottery Ticket Limerick Poetry Contest
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
humorous, hyperbole, tribute,
Construction Worker Fred
Construction worker Fred, never snotty
Boastful, self-righteous, or slightly haughty
They laid him to rest
Midst tribute the best
Gold-plated, silver-edged Porta-Potty
Written by
Frederic Parker
Categories:
funny,
Fred Flintstone
Fred Flintstone drove home
On two rocks and axel of bone
With Barney his friend
From the moose lodge they attend
Written by
Vernette Hutcherson
Categories:
funny, people,
Joe & Fred
I know a poet named Joe
Where he came from, I don't know
If he keeps buggin' Fred
He may get a lump on his head
And to the hospital he'll have to go
I know a poet named Fred
Mention Joe and he sees red
But, I think we all know
He loves fighting with Joe
So, I think that's nuff said
Written by
Cecil Hickman
Categories:
fantasy, funny, imagination, satire, space
Fred the Martian
There was a Martian, whose name was Fred.
Who had a Venusian girlfriend, who said?
Fred is a ghastly lover.
He will only hover.
He has no feet or hair on his head.
Written by
Neill Mockett
Categories:
animals, children, funny,
Blackbird Fred
There is one in the garden soon fed
He is always the first from his bed
Haven’t you heard ?
It’s the early bird
Catches the worm - Blackbird Fred
Written by
Tom Cunningham
Categories:
humor,
Fred Murrey
A farmer by the name of Fred Murrey
Woke late and was now having to hurry
Wanted to manure his fields
So that he'd get better yields
But the pipe cracked and sprayed him with slurry.
Written on 2nd November 2022
A Funny Limerick - Make me Laugh Poetry Contest.
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
Checked with - How Many Syllables. Com
Syllables = 10.10.7.7.10.
Written by
Deb Wilson
Categories:
funny, people,
Foibles of Fred
There once was a man they called Fred.
who had to be tied to his bed.
When deep on the sauce
his cookies he'd toss.
Then proceed to fall on his head.
for "Short and Sweet' contest
sponrored by Brian Strand
Written by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories:
funny
Frog Named Fred
I had a little frog named Fred
To catch him I used a 2X4 across the head
With his permanent smile
He hopped around for a while
But the next day he was dead
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, humorous, lust, romance,
Fred Had No Joy 'she's' a Ladyboy
Fred’s internet date looked so hot
A woman - she surely was not
Fred’s poor brain had to grapple
‘she’s’ got an Adams’ apple
In toilets did she stand or squat?
Fred’s blind date she needed the loo
The ladies loo had a long queue
It came as no surprise
‘She’ went into the guys
And out of the front door Fred flew!
3/25/19
Written by
Larry Bradfield
Categories:
humorous,
A Pirate Named Fred
There was a one-eyed pirate named Fred
Who wanted to reform and get wed
The wench who took his measure
Had got used to the treasure
So she shivered his timbers instead
4-6-19
Contest:Pirate Themed Limerick
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
Written by
Constance La France
Categories:
funny,
Nursing Home Fred
Once there was a nursing home man called Fred,
at night he was found in an old gals bed;
with a great big happy smile,
his pajamas in a pile;
when questioned- "THIS is my dead wife" he said !
_____________________________
May 19, 2019
Added after contest judged, June 11, 2019-
Poetry/Limerick/Nursing Home Fred
Copyright Protected, ID 19-1145-321-02
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
(Syllable Count 10,10,7,7,10)
Written for the contest, Bawdy Limericks
sponsor, Tania Kitchin
First Place
Written by
Kenneth Cheney
Categories:
fun, funny,
Farmer Fred Shed's
Farmer Fred went on a diet
Nancy said, “You got to try it”
Fred began to “Feel the Noize”
Tooting like the Beastie Boys
Really it was Quiet Riot
Written by
Line Gauthier
Categories:
fish, funny, nonsense, silly, uplifting,
Good Ol' Fred
eye see you so the blind man said
as in each hand he held a fishy head
their steely eyes were icy cold and dead
his wit it seems barely hanging by a thread
in a flash he ran home, lightning-fast he fled
soon overtaken by the smell of gingerbread
he ate a hundred cookies till he was fully fed
and off he rolled and finally found his bed
AP: 2nd place 2022
Posted on June 18, 2022
Written by
Ivee Bryant
Categories:
funny,
Fred and Joe
There was a boy whose name was Fred.
He lived in a red bubble gum bed.
When he wrote, he liked to scribble,
And he had a ball he liked to dribble.
His best friend was a boy named Joe.
A feather grew from his toe.
He liked to laugh, and sing, and write.
His clothes were always solid white.
The two of them played tag one day,
And found a magic wand- hooray!
Fred fell down and broke his back.
Then Joe ran away, and never came back.
Written by
Kenneth Cheney
Categories:
farm, giggle, silly,
Fred the Milker
Farmer Fred it is said;
Is the best milker ever bred.
He can squeeze’m;
Fast as you please’m;
And it’s no tall tale;
He can fill a milk pail,
Quicker and cleaner,
Then any milk machine’r.
Written by
Tania Kitchin
Categories:
funny, humor, valentines day,
Red Fred
Fred heard his new crush loved men with red hair
And went next door to a salon called Flare
Now dyed red for his new date
Valentine's Day he couldn't wait
Until the back of his head was left bare
Written by
Robert Zimmerman
Categories:
car, humor, silly,
Fred, the Pinto
Strict 8-8-5-5-8 meter.
I once owned a Pinto named Fred.
Its color was some shade of red.
I pulled on the choke.
The steering wheel broke.
But now it is mercif'ly dead.
Written by
Tom Bell
Categories:
education, funny, on writing and words, song-me,
Willy-Fred, Willy-Fred
Willy, don't be silly...
As for Fred, check your head,
Once again, you got things
all wrong,
I wasn't writting poetry,
nor out to steal a song...
I do get the feeling,
Your disdain for me is strong,
That's okay,
I gotta say,
No loss in disbelief,
But don't question me,
Cause you don't know
If I were a lyrical thief,
What if I did write those
songs,
And held the copyright too,
And let others record them,
You think other, I might do?
So check out the copyright credits,
And wake me when you're through,
Cause as for your snide comments,
I've heard enough from you.
Written by
Kenneth Cheney
Categories:
cheer up, funny, giggle, silly,
Farmer Fred Reports
Saw Farmer Fred sitting beneath his oak tree
He was all smiles and had a face filled with glee
Now this is what he reports to me
Last week I thought myself to be in dire straits
Then Uncle Sam came through with a check
Now my chicken coop is once again fully stocked
My friend it’s like money for nothing and chicks for free
Written by
Kenneth Cheney
Categories:
fun, giggle, humor, spoken word,
Farmer Fred the Raconteur
Farmer Fred the raconteur
I’ve often said is full of manure
When spinning yarns of yesteryear
His tales grow taller beer by beer
He orates on about three little pigs
Elucidating eloquently on their building of digs
In Fred’s varied version there is not a wolf
The malefactor being a malcontented oaf