Humorous and funny Funeral poems and/or funny poems about Funeral. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Funeral funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Funeral Poems.
Judith Angell Meyer
funny, imagination, song-
That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."
funeral, humorous, money, satire,
They crawl out of the woodwork
Shedding lots of crocodile tears
Grieving for an ancient relative
They’ve not visited for many years
‘Auntie Annie’ is barely warm
But now you see the relations swarm
Waiting for the will to be read
They rub their hands with glee
Hoping they will be left
Lots of lovely money
‘Grieving relatives’ is rubbish!! Some are taking the mick ….
These mercenary vultures simply make me sick!
28th January 2017
funeral, humor, sad,
4th March 2015
Written before dad’s funeral - I'll take my cushion to sit on lol
* not proper footle but I had to add it!
funeral, funny, sports,
While a man was golfing in Fife
a funeral cortege was arife,
his head bowed in prayer
at this somber affair
to pay last respects to his wife!
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
death, dedication, depression, funeral, funny, inspirational, introspection, life, loss, parody
They tried to make you go to Rehab...
Shoulda' packed your bags ta' Rehab...
death, funeral, funny,
Here lies Bea At a hundred and three
In the place she vowed She’d never be
She always swore She’d never die
Till all who bugged her
In the grave would lie
She hung on tight To the very end
No foe was left For flowers to send
Let’s raise a glass And shed a tear
She sure raised hell while she was here!
Copyright©2004 Beatrice Boyle
(All rights reserved
adventure, angel, beautiful, business, childhood, death, education, fantasy, farewell, freedom, friendship, funeral, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, health, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, nostalgia, on writing and words, parody, passion, patriotic, peace, people, philosophy, slam, social, song, sorrow, sorry, spiritual, time, woman,
Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
hija de la luna
bereavement, death, family, funeral, humor,
They hate his drinking -
But they put his ashes in …
A wine bottle urn.
There was an old lady from Ireland
Who was frightened to death by a brass band
We watched with dismay
As without delay
They buried her corpse in the band stand
Contest : Slapstick Limerick Contest
angst, childhood, confusion, dedication, devotion, faith, family, fear, funeral, funny, hope, imagination, life, mother, nature, on writing and words, parody, people,
I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…
black african american, childhood, dedication, funeral, girl, goodbye, growing up, humorous, satire, teen, thank you, tribute, happy, happy,
Thank you for being in my life,
to think you were only broken twice,
you taught me how not to be late,
and how to get my timing straight,
my mother made you and loved you too,
she stayed up at night to make sure you show true,
I'm not going to say I'm happy you're gone
but i do rue the day you were spawn
now that I'm 18, you've done your job,
I'm happy you will no longer make my heart throb,
with every minute that i am late,
made my life full of hate,
so thank you curfew, and thanks a lot,
now my own schedule will take your spot.
celebration, death, fun, funeral, humorous, light, night,
Viking, Viking burning bright,
on a pyre in the night,
though the wind howls and bites,
this funeral is out-of-sight!
Through the cold and falling snow,
on the lake your fire glows,
the ships combusts, and now I know
this here is how I want to go.
*-Obviously patterned off William Blake's famous poem 'The Tyger.'
There was an old man from Fontaine
Who walked with aid of a cane
One night he was mugged
By a wannabe thug
In the graveyard, the thug was lain
11 April 2018
For the contest sponsored by Viv Wigley
death, death of a friend, funeral, funny, grave, hilarious, loss,
DEATH ANNOUNCEMENT:BY TSHEPO MBHELE
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR DEATH ANNOUNCED?
A POOL PARTY WITH A BALL THAT WAS BOUNCED
OR TO GO TO THE BAR
ON YOUR BRAND NEW CAR
WHEN YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO DIE
I WONT EVEN PASS BY
IT DOESN’T REALLY BOTHER ME
BECAUSE WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE I LET YOU BE
YOUR NEW HOME
WILL DEFINETLY NOT BE ROME
OR EVEN A SMALL PALACE
JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE CARELESS
SOME WILL DANCE AND SOME WILL CRY
SOME WILL COME JUST TO SAY GOOD BYE
EVEN IF IT IS A DARE
I DON’T CARE
age, fear, funeral, funny, hyperbole, irony, motivation,
I wanna live to a hundred-and-three
A minor footnote in history
I wanna live to a hundred-and-six
They’ll bury my bones among the sticks
I wanna live to a hundred-and-nine
My blood just like fermented wine
I wanna live to a hundred-and-twelve
Baby I’ll never kill myself
I wanna live to a hundred-fifteen
Ride in some futuristic limousine
I wanna live to a hundred-and-twenty
Food for flowers in the Land of Plenty
I wanna live to one-twenty-five
All you gotta do is survive
business, death, funeral, funny, home, life, work,
the crowds taking the subways
enter the underground
below upon waking
to rise up
in the clouds above
only to go back in the evening
down through the underground
low upon leaving
to final rest
in the underground
or in the clouds above
death of a friend, funeral, funny, humor, humorous,
Here Lays May
Who was on her way
To a little old bar,
She was hit by a car.
animals, funeral, funny,
Henrietta just a pet chicken
Loves attention and holding
torments the jealous dog by tapping on the door
Plays dead like a duck once tooo often
Doggie thinks KFC....yum
Henrietta taking a dirt nap under a pine tree.
tears and sorrow!!
1908-1934 Not taken soon enough! Not only the good die young.
For Epigram Contest
By: Richard Lamoureux
funeral, funny, satire,
At odds about the undertakers fees, Mark Twain jeered:
“There is a system of extortion going on here!”
What horrific prices to pay for just a box and hole
When it's not the body we care about, but the soul!
This clerihew is derrived from reading Mark Twains views on burying the dead. His only quotation is the second line. ( Mark Twain and the Carson City Undertaker) - February 1864
Sandra Hudson, 1/18/2012
allusion, death, funeral, funny, humorous, satire,
Post scriptum Written upon a lawyer's grave Oh! Now they tell me I must pay
funeral, funny, life, loss, nature, seasons,
One frown is lost
At what cost now
Jack Frost has died
His funeral was today;
That elder man of mans;
He had done everything
The world demands.
There was a mixed crowd
Of ages and worth;
The preacher spoke long;
With anecdotes and mirth.
Lifeless he lay, taking it all in,
Strains of Amazing Grace;
Never wore many formal suits;
Is that a grin on his face?
After all was said and done;
His kudos listed ad infinitem;
Tears were dropped along the pews,
But folks pretty well forgot em.
He was president of this;
On the board of that;
Loved his grandchildren;
But after all of that,
This beloved soul had written;
His own epitaph;
His tombstone would read;
“He knew how to laugh!”
funeral, funny, holiday, people, people,
People planters find it hard to tear
at the loss of your near and dear
At two hundred percent profits
Devastation gives them fat pockets
Diggers open up the ground
Where people sprouts can be found....
Sprouts or people dust....it is hard to know!?
Are you wearing black?
Yes it’s a funeral I know
But underneath the garb
Is that all black also?
No, it’s not irreverent
Picturing you in lacy black
There was no bigger letch
Than your dead uncle Jack