Funny Poems About Garden or Garden Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Garden poems and/or funny poems about Garden. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Garden funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Garden Poems.

Poem Details | by Scott Thirtyseven |
Categories: beach, garden, humorous, nature,

Places I'Ve Peed Haiku Series

Sun glints off ripples
Play of light in sheltered cove
Scenic lavatory

Backyard full of stars
Footsteps crack on frozen grass
Moonlit lavatory

Forested mountain side
Above twisting single track
Rider’s lavatory

Over arid land
Falling rain evaporates
Hot Aussie dunny

Sandy beach stretches
Tropical coral waters
Pristine lavatory

Beneath St. Paul’s dome
Lies manicured garden
Monumental lav.

Poem Details | by Viv Wigley |
Categories: garden, humor, spring,

Gardening Time, Everybody

Now that spring has arrived on the scene
to get out in the garden I'm keen
can't let one more day pass
without cutting the grass
since the light through my window is green!

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, anti bullying, flower, funny, garden, hurt, summer,

Sting Bee

i knew a bee that could sing

it worked for a queen and king

but they preferred honey

and paid it no money

now it sings backup for sting.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: flower, garden, giggle, humorous,

Bathing Beauty

her husband made her a beautiful scented bath… pity it’s outdoors! Inspired by the above picture which was taken by my hubby when we were out walking today AWARDED POTD 3RD SEPTEMBER Please go to my poems page so you can see the accompanying picture as it doesn't show on the POTD page 09-01-17

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: garden, humorous,

A Trail of Destruction

A snail has thousands of teeth No wonder it is such a thief It gobbles my plants You should hear my rants Slug pellets will give some relief! I discovered from a quiz question that some species of snail can have over 25,000 teeth! 02~05~17

Poem Details | by Charles Messina |
Categories: humor,

Fertilizing My Garden

My cucumber needed hydrocarbon 
So, I thought to pee in my garden 
Thought my cucumber would grow 
But what did I know... 
My cucumber began to harden 

My tomatoes were as hard as a rock, true 
But I noticed they turned a dark blue 
When my pee hit their stems 
It ruined my gems 
Instead of peeing, I should have went poo- eww!

Poem Details | by Elton Camp |
Categories: humor,

Panic In the Vegetable Garden

Panic In the Vegetable Garden

By Elton Camp

The carrot turn from yellow to pale
“Danger!” it called out to the kale

The tomato gaped in great fear
“Caution broccoli, they’re here.” 

Mushroom whispered to the squash,
“Beware for they’re here to nosh.”

Pumpkin felt of his hard shell
“If they touch me, I’ll yell.”

“Oh horrors!” said the peas
“How we hate such as these.”

Why did the veggies begin to shout?
Because vegans were roving about!

Poem Details | by John Fenn |
Categories: fantasy, funny, happiness, imagination, music, nature, people,

There Are Fairies At the Bottom of My Garden

There are Fairies at the bottom of my garden
And they visit every evening, for a dance
They are lovely to behold and very welcome
I just wish they didn’t trample on my plants

Their favourite dance appears to be the Salsa
They do it with such style and aplomb
Much better than last week when they were jivin’
It appeared they’d hit the garden with a bomb

So I do believe in Fairies, ‘cos I’ve seen them
And every night I watch them, in a trance
They are graceful and delightful and enchanting
“Oi, Tinkerbell, get off my bloody plants”

©  John W Fenn  14-07-2009

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: food, funny

My Herb Garden

My  blue terraced pot is alive this year,
Growing basil, chives, oregano and sage.
It sits on my patio in the filtered sun,
Ready for creative culinary inspiration......
              Maybe after I finish this glass of wine.

Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: addiction, april, best friend, computer, confusion, courage, culture, cute love, earth, emotions, encouraging, environment, fantasy, farm, feelings, funny love, garden, happiness, happy, i love you, i miss you, inspirational, internet, irony, july, june, kiss, loneliness, love, magic, me, metaphor, nature, parody, repetition, satire, science, social, technology, tree, women, world, youth,


follow on facebook,
adore on pinterest,
fall in love on instagram,
kiss on a hunch,
all under a tree.

Poem Details | by Deb Wilson |
Categories: funny, garden, sexy,

The Cougar With the Green Thumb

There once was a cougar named Rose

who kept the young men on their toes.

Working in her garden

they'd say "beg your pardon

I'll bet you could use a good hose!"

for Bawdy Limericks Two contest
sponsored by Roy Jerden

Poem Details | by Brittney Lopez |
Categories: absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,


You send bolts through my skin 
something I was never to 
accomplish with you, when I 
saw you it's like my heart sank 
to my stomach and I was in 
shock my body still my body 
heavy felt like when I moved I 
was about to fall to my knees 
you make me want to get 
inside my brain pick you up and 
take you out pick you one by 
one like a flower because I do 
love you and love you not.

Poem Details | by Nick Bagnall |
Categories: funny, old, garden, old,

My Shed

A ball of twine, a washing line
A bag of peat, an old dust sheet
A rope
Some wire
An old flat tyre
A roller-skate, a garden gate

Some dry grass seed, a millipede
A sack of sand, one glove, left hand
A torch 
A mallet
A painters pallet
A cracked fish tank, a broken plank

A headless gnome, some dried out loam
An old bike bell,  a snail shell
A spade
A fork
A champagne cork
The dogs toy bone, a traffic cone

It's cleared away, it took all day
I find it is, quite safe to say
It used to fit, But who knows how
My garden shed is empty now

Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: funny

In Farmer Joe's Garden

In Farmer Joe’s Garden

There once was a rabbit named Rosie.
She liked to eat carrots and posies.
While in farmer Joe’s garden,
She startled the yardmen.
So, they fled like big chickens, those three!

© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
March 7, 2010
Poetic form:  Limerick
(Practice, practice, practice)

Poem Details | by Peter Dome |
Categories: animal, creation, garden, humor, insect, nature,

Red Bug

Red bug

*spotted *

on leaf.

Lady bug.

Peter Dome.copyright.2013.Dec.

Poem Details | by Judy Ball |
Categories: funny, garden, satire, seasons,

Mother's Day Flowers

All winter I patiently wait,
To see flowers outside my gate;
To have flowers in bloom,
Fill the air with perfume,
I'm sure that you all can relate.

If you put out your plants too soon,
The poor things never will bloom;
For the frost will soon kill them,
For the sun doesn't fill them,
With the warmth that they need until noon.

So I waited until Mother's Day.
There were Robins and Sparrows at play.
I put out hanging baskets,
So tired of the plastics,
I saw no more need to delay.

Last night saw a wet snow fall.
What did I expect after all.
For we live in Alberta,
I'm sure that you've heard-a,
How Summer can resemble Fall.

Happy Mother's Day Y'all

Poem Details | by Seren Roberts |
Categories: flower, garden, humorous,

Smelly Me -Song Lyric Contest

Stop buzzing round my head bee
I am not a flower
Message understood
I'll go and have a shower

I know I 'm smelling sweaty
This I must agree
Working in the garden
Has made a smelly me.

Buzz off and feed now
flowers over there
Go and fill on pollen
I'm a gardener that cares

Sing to my old man's a dustman    Wait til he starts the my old man part 

Penned 9 July 2013

Contest Song Lyric

Poem Details | by Milan Georges Burovac |
Categories: america, funny love, garden, joy, poetry, woman, world,

Emily Me

a star and always her
constantly the moon in the garden
this wide paradise to me
where I declaim Emily Dickinson
syllable by syllable
to the happiness of the destinies
an eternal love

Poem Details | by Brenda Mcgrath |
Categories: funny, garden, humorous, nature,

The Plant Graveyard

I have a place in my backyard,
That I call my plant graveyard.
These are all plants that I tended with care,
Now like a rejected lover, they sit in despair.

They go to the plant graveyard when all hope is gone,
But I still water them until they pass on.
Once in a while a miracle will transpire,
And it will return to the porch for all to admire.

Contest-Take the Dagger From My Heart Please-2 Contest
Sponsor: Broken Wings
Awarded 2nd Place

Poem Details | by Tracy Martin |
Categories: animal, butterfly, flower, kids, funny, humorous, nature,

Garden of Woes

Twinkling little elephant toes
 Prancing through the Garden Of Woes,
 Sniffing daisies
 With his long dainty nose.

 "Good morning to you", 
 says a cute butterfly.
 With cheeks glowing pink
 The mammoth creature whispers, "Hi".

 Turning from pink
 To bright crimson red,
 He bats his lashes
 And hides his head.

 As the butterfly turns
 And flutters away,
 The prancing little elephant
 Continues to play.

 I realize then
 That it's time for bed.
 Cuz, the dancing pink elephant
 Is all in my head!

Poem Details | by Christie Mills |
Categories: animals, funny

Rabbit's In the Garden

A fuzzy butt, Big buck teeth, enormous ears, and floppy clown feet.
You eat my garden. Your such a pest. 
You ate my peas, squash, and more.
I seen these little thieves from my own front door. 
You hoop around the tree and the bush. 
Your lucky your cute. You silly looking critter.
Don't look at me with those beety little eyes. 
If you keep it up, I'll give you a surprise.

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: animals, funny

Armadillo In My Garden

Armadillo ruins
Flowers that are kept with care
So ugly creature

Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: funny, nature,

Garden Reality

Chewed stalks brown corn
Skeleton dead heads of sunflowers
rotten tomatoes and watermelons

fruitless vines and weeds waist high
Purple salvia blooms shine
Orange Marigolds


blooms blown
Weeds shown

stalks bare
Full hare

scalp bare
no hair

flower power showers 
Sour pity hour
Powdered sugar icing
tower the sweet wower

Poem Details | by Jim Slaughter |
Categories: farewell, for him, humor,

Elegy For a Garden Gnome

There once was a gnome named Jerome
Who made a herb garden his home.
One day as he frolicked,
He slipped and fell on some garlic
And was instantly killed when a clove cleft his dome.

The sad news of Jerome spread as far north as Nome,
And there was weeping and wailing from gnomes 'cross the foam.
When I learned what transpired,
Re the way he expired,
It inspired me to proffer this "po'm" for Jerome:

Here lies our dear comrade Jerome
'neath his garden's herbivorous loam.
If he'd played "farmer in the dill",
He'd be up here with us still
'stead of filling a 3 x 6 hole, his new home.

Entered in Jay Narain's Humorous Poems Contest
July 5, 2023
!2th Place

Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: funny

How Does My Garden Grow?

Beats the tar out of me!!!

Plow a row, drop in seeds, water----         HOW
Many varieties                         ------       DOES
This small plot sustain?    -------------- ----YOUR
Brown spots and wilted leaves, ------------GARDEN
How can I get you to ------------------------GROW??

The weeds are prettier than my garden!!!