Humorous and funny Girl poems and/or funny poems about Girl. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Girl funny poems!
Written by
Paul Callus
Categories:
fun, humor,
Ninja Girl
On the Isle of Man lives a Ninja girl
Daring in her act, makes your toesies curl
She has a pretty face
And sips her tea with grace
Be not taken in – she’s no fragile pearl.
----------------------------------------------
Sent with hugs by Lulu` Pascal
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny, girl,
You Can Call Me Sir But I Guess You'Re Gonna Have To Call Me -
I just KNEW I was a woman
a woman inside a man’s body
therefore I went under the knife
(My surgeon said it went well)
But when I looked in the mirror
I was appalled and yes, horrified
Even after applying makeup
and donning a push-up bra
I was just plain----Ug-LEEE
(We shan’t discuss chest-down)
Thus, I had a change of heart
I wanted to restore my manhood
and kindly asked my doctor
for a reverse operation...
Wanna know what she told me??
“GIRL, you ain’t got the BALLS”...
Written by
Bill Baker
Categories:
adventure, boy, crush, girl, humor, romantic, youth,
Harley Date
He showed up dressed in black leather
Dates aren’t meant to last forever
It wasn’t just fun
He was on the run
A hostage date was --quite clever
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
giggle, girl, grandfather,
Grandpa's Playground
At one-hundred grandpa dreams of a fling
Scoring the streets for a saucy young thing
He's mastered a line
That works every time
'Come to my playground, and learn how to swing!'
Written by
Damian Keady
Categories:
destiny, friendship, girl, girlfriend, humorous, life,
The Girl
The Girl...
The girl you met
And fell in love with
Is not the one
You will end up with
If at all!
As once her mask
Has fallen away
Her true persona
Will hold sway
And then you realise
You were fooled!
For better or worse
Richer or poorer
The girl for you
Might just live
Around the corner
And is a friend
DAMO
Written by
Zamreen Zarook
Categories:
age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,
Fake Words
Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook
God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.
Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.
Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.
Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.
Written by
Andy Morfett
Categories:
appreciation, beauty, fashion, girl, humorous, inspirational,
Girls Who Wear Glasses
Girls Who Wear Glasses
Girls who wear glasses
Are seen as geeks or a nerd,
Which is the most ridiculous thing
That I've ever heard!
Girls who wear glasses
Are actually sexy and cool
Whether they’re petite little pixies
Or long-legged and tall.
Girls who wear glasses
Look intelligent and smart;
A look that has always
Gone straight to my heart
Girls who wear glasses
Are to be praised and admired
And to be told frequently
They are loved and desired!
Written by
Mc Mc
Categories:
funny,
There Once Was a Girl Named Lilly
There once was a girl named Lilly
who often liked to be silly
she put a spoon upon her nose
then she wrote a bit o' prose
and called it mexican chilly !
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
adventure, animal, crazy, hilarious, nonsense, silly, success,
Girl From Nantucket
I once knew a girl from Nantucket
Who chased down a goose, just to pluck it
As she ran, took a spill
So he gave her a quill
And I guess we all know, where he stuck it
Just not clean enough for contests---lol
Written by
Smail Poems
Categories:
age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,
Princesses
Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!
Written by
Timothy Hicks
Categories:
allusion, crush, cute love, kids, funny love, love, school,
The Girl At School Drops Her Pencil
What's this?
Pure bliss
NOTE: Hey everyone ... so I've been pretty busy these last few days, with packing, cleaning up, setting up yard-sales etc., so I'm gonna take a short break from posting and commenting ... but in the meantime feel free to enter my very first contest, March of the Footle. Curious to see how it goes ... happy writing!
Written by
Osita Azike
Categories:
friendship, funny love, girl, girlfriend, love, love hurts,
Just Friends
Yeah I know it feels weird
But it's too beautiful to be bad
Now it's scary cos it might be a masquerade
If we happen to be more than what we are
Now that's cos we have become more than I can describe
No one understands when I sing all that jazz
It's already more than the music for mature minds
They go with the sarcastic reply "Just friends, yeah right"
And then I am lost in my definition
A new synonym is added in its oxymoron
She has become my doubted confidante
But only to the minds who refuse to see
If am gonna kick that bucket, it's definitely not your water in it
Written by
Nya Johnson
Categories:
black african american, childhood, dedication, funeral, girl, goodbye, growing up, humorous, satire, teen, thank you, tribute, happy, happy,
Rip Curfew
Thank you for being in my life,
to think you were only broken twice,
you taught me how not to be late,
and how to get my timing straight,
my mother made you and loved you too,
she stayed up at night to make sure you show true,
I'm not going to say I'm happy you're gone
but i do rue the day you were spawn
now that I'm 18, you've done your job,
I'm happy you will no longer make my heart throb,
with every minute that i am late,
made my life full of hate,
so thank you curfew, and thanks a lot,
now my own schedule will take your spot.
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
A Girl Fom Nantucket
There once was a young girl from Nantucket
Who's charms overflowed by the bucket
If you ever saw her nude
You'd try not to be rude
But you'd try to cover up your large nugget
You were expecting something else perhaps!!!
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love, desire, feelings, giggle, girl, hello, hope, humorous, lust, relationship, romance, sexy, song, sweet, together, uplifting, woman,
Please Help Me, Re-Lyric
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.
So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You;
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
Written by
Kim Merryman
Categories:
bird, girl, humorous,
Lucy's Goosey
There once was a gal named Lucy,
Who had a beloved pet goosey.
The goose learned to fly,
Which made Lucy cry,
Now there's no more Lucy's goosey.
8/24/13
For Blackeyed Susan's limerick contest
Written by
Bulinya Martins
Categories:
art, girl, giggle,
Girls Are Like Pianos In Deed and Simile
Girls are like pianos in deed and simile
When well tuned they giggle and smile
When annoyed they prop and empathize
When spoiled they demand and emphasize
He who can make a girl laugh can make her upright
Then they grow glassy and fabulously bright
They become wily strong and pretty useful
Being good they go to heaven very beautiful
The saddest thing a girl can is to dump down herself
And then be a soaked wet coat hanging on the shelf
Written by
Barbara Dickenson
Categories:
9th grade, funny, girl, growing up, high school, youth,
Ode To a Gym Teacher
Ode To A Gym Teacher
Amid brassiere and derrière
She strives to put her clothes on.
Her panties there, stockings here
The rest of it, she throws on.
At the mirror, shining bright
She struggles with her powder.
She holds her place with main and might
As others try to crowd her.
How can she dress so nimbly
In but five minutes of an hour?
The question’s answered simply:
She did not take a shower.
Barbara Dickenson
August 1966
Written by
Cecilia Macfarlane
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, body, girl,
Birds -N- Bees
Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.
Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in ****
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.
But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.
Written by
Bhavna Khemlani
Categories:
fantasy, funny, life,
The Eyeshadow Girl
The blend of colors enlightens her day when she decides to embrace them;
She loves various colors which bring alive a girl’s eyes;
Each color depicts the triumph of beauty from within that is eager to fly more than twice;
The charisma of colors vitalizes one’s surrounding being a priceless gem.
Surveying around, she picks her Jimmy Choo;
Picking up her Chanel bag she appreciates her labor of love;
Then she looks at her sister to Shoo;
She knows that materialism and spiritualism is hard work from blessing above.
Written by
Martin Kloess
Categories:
food, funny, girl, humor, sexy,
Now What Do You Want On Your Pizza
I ordered a large pizza pie
What do you want on it asked guy
His question a pearl
Set my mind awhirl
A sexy young girl answered I
Written by
Crystal Cross
Categories:
children, funny
Girl From Mars
I wrote this way back in sixth grade & I have been able to recite it since, actually the
only poem of mine that I actually have memorized, such a shame! anyways read on:
There once was a girl from mars
Who ate and ate candy bars
But then she got sick
And decided to lick
The mud of a small purple car
~we even had to illustrate it & everything, but so sorry I can't attach that one with it :)
*Thanks much for reading
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
funny, girl, humor, imagery, jobs, people, places,
Lathered To Leathered
Hey barber, give me a shoe and a shine
As he's lathered he feels just fine
Then he views the shoe shiner
Wow, what breasts, nothing finer
My hands on them I wish they were mine
Young lady, let's spend time in a motel room
Get to know each other, vroom vroom
I'm married, och, you'll be fine
I'll pay, say your working overtime
You tell him, the barbers my groom
.
Challenged to write this based on a joke!
Written by
Diane Lefebvre
Categories:
character, girl, humor, nonsense,
Hosie Rosie
There was a young lady named Rose,
who developed a run in her hose.
When her big toe stuck out;
she got zapped with the gout:
Now what Rosie does best,
is to limp all about.
Written by
D. C. Jordan
Categories:
boyfriend, feelings, humor, mother son,
Girl From Wheeling
There was a young lady from Wheeling
West Virginia, that is
Who had a peculiar feeling that
Her boyfriend Jack was cheating
She took it to his Mom
“Mom” she said, “your son Jack
Is really pissing me off.
I'm ready to hit the ceiling.”
“Ya know,” Mom said, “You crack me up.
I'm tickled he goes to your head
He irritates me the same way about you
So I tell him to stay unwed.”
So Mom was the other woman
The young lady from Wheeling suspected
So she lay on her back and considered Mom amd Jack
“I would like to see them dissected!”