Humorous and funny Girlfriend poems and/or funny poems about Girlfriend. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Girlfriend funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Girlfriend Poems.
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,
There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,
Don't rush to wash off the sea salt
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.
adventure, brother, fantasy, funny, funny love, giggle, girlfriend,
There once was a monkey named Frank
Who loved to walk the plank
He said too many jokes
Pulled too many hoaxe-s
Ha! Ha! Ha! Then he got a good spank
Who's that monkey in front of me
I dare to hang with you on a tree
Oh! What I do? Will you do?
Together we are like glue
Is that my flea or your flea?
~ Skat ~
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love, parody, passion, teen,
My darling enigma, my dove
You’re the epitome of my love
Your smile shines at me pearly white
Pale skin shines and glints in the light
Silken locks, obsidian flow
Eyes just like ice, crystalline glow
Peals of laughter ring like a bell
Enchant me; I’m under your spell
You walk with a musical flow
Tiptoeing with softness through snow
But, alas, you open your mouth
Utter tripe spilling out
If only you’d keep your mouth shut.
(Love from Anonymous)
beauty, cute love, grave, humor, obituary,
Took me the breath of all my life
A soul mate who could consume my heart wither a smile
I found that Gothic girl after dark
A little to late to consummate
I lie in waiting with a dead round smile
Empty eyes and a lot of guile
I found a girlfriend even if late
We lie together
Frigid is our state
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, lost love, love, mother, parody, romance, satire, sorry,
Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent
Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.
But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.
boyfriend, funny love, girlfriend, psychological, relationship,
How is he?"
"Quite terrible, Miss.
He will not survive the night,
Probably not even the hour."
"What does he have?
It is worse then all of those.
Can I see him?
"I imagine you can, Miss.
But that's the problem.
I'm afraid I can't treat him
Since I can't--"
"Doctor! Please tell me.
I love him.
He's my boyfriend.
We have no secrets."
"Then you may wanna sit down.
Miss, I am sorry to inform you,
Your boyfriend is ailed with
A severe case of nonexistence."
Mom looks through windows
A watched pot will never boil
A daughter's courtship
Contest; "Redneck Psalms, Improve Human Foible"
Sponsored by: John Freeman
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
angst, confusion, depression, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, introspection, life, love, passion, people, philosophy, romance, social, sorry
not sure how she got here
only know she needs to leave
underneath the stranger
my arm numb; asleep,
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry
princess of night
exposed by light.
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess.
along with my will.
I swore never again;
the lie is half the thrill.
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love, passion, romance,
Kiss saves and kills
Drop by drop KISS increases
To form an ocean of EMOTION
EMOTION in love billows
Around many pillows
With PASSION it is POWERED
You lose control over your EMOTION
Your EMOTION now sets you in MOTION
To the journey of no return.
You may ask, What is bad in it?
The bad IN it is at the END of it!
Ph.d Volo Von Wolfenstein
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, lovelove,
Romance is calamitous,
I woo and charm,
And raise some alarm,
When I try to arouse,
... By flexing my arm!
Some days its almost ridiculous,
Whatever I do,
So I dress to impress,
But I'm always despairing,
When I walk through the door,
I hear: "What are you wearing?"
They told me love was fabulous,
If you want the truth:
When I try to hit,
I always miss,
That hug I got,
...Should've been a kiss!
But if all is fair in love and war,
I should keep trying until I score,
And maybe one day I will cease to fuss,
If only I wasn't...
heartbreak, humor, jealousy,
Charles Bukowski ate my girlfriend
He started with her head
Fiddled with her like finger food
Putty in his hands
Charles Bukowski took my girlfriend
Slapped her hard upside the face
Now she likes it dirty
So this poets been replaced
I'd like to say so long Charlie
As far as I'm concerned
You can hit the literary highway
Never to return
Charles Bukowski took my girlfriend
And showed her a good time
As I'm watching from the shallow end
Of my kiddie pool of simple rhyme
Charles Bukowski ate my girlfriend
Chewed her up then spit her out
Now that good for nothing Charlie
Is all she talks about
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, dance, dance,
I got up at six this morning
Feeling kind of weak
I had a shave and showered
As I walked my bones would creak
I have very bad arthritis
But I can kill the pain
I just have to take Viagra
Then go back to bed again
My girl is exasperated
Found out six months ago
A Viagra in the morning
Will keep me on the go
I cuddled next to her
":Lets dance they're playing our song"
Sleepy eyed she lay there
Snoring all along
Next morning I woke up
A note said she was gone
"Next time you hear your music
You must dance it all alone"
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, loveme,
I wanted something bubbly
Coke with ice cream trick
That fridge, again, empty
So I made my trip to Kwik
Swerving around this town in my horses
Parking up by the front door
No training could have prepared me for
What waited inside the store
Standing with her 2-liter of Diet 7-Up
If I just died, keep me here on heaven
I asked above not be taken so abruptly
Feeling luckier than sevens or elevens
Now she says that this place
Is wherever we stand here
Desiring her within my space
Needing her crystal clear
That gentleness of her touch
As we let go while giving in
When love has got its clutch
In times we are skin to skin
destiny, friendship, girl, girlfriend, humorous, life,
The girl you met
And fell in love with
Is not the one
You will end up with
If at all!
As once her mask
Has fallen away
Her true persona
Will hold sway
And then you realise
You were fooled!
For better or worse
Richer or poorer
The girl for you
Might just live
Around the corner
And is a friend
emotions, fun, funny, girlfriend, hilarious, humor, humorous,
Apricot baby's bottom
In my world I always think
Of a pricey apricot dress
My husband's pal paid way too much for it
Wanting to impress a girl who modeled it at a table for us.
Wanting to show off that he had three hundred dollars,
He gave them three hundred dollars for that dress
To surprise his girlfriend, Kathy.
Kathy was surprised.
She would have never chosen this dress.
It was so expensive, he pouted until she wore it to
Every dinner, supper, lunch, and finally to play racquetball in.
Apricot always reminds me of poor Kathy and her irritation.
fun, funny, girlfriend, wife,
Do you take this strife
No not without a wife
Do you take this wife
No not if she gives me strife
Do you take this life
Only with my own wife
To give to me all the strife
To maybe live a better life
But first of all I need a wife
age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,
Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook
God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.
Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.
Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.
Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.
age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Just like you!
dog, girlfriend, humorous,
There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled.
Poet Destroyer A
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love,
BED BUGS BITES
It's time to fix the mattress
fluffy pillows and blankets,
enough room for just one more.
BITE ME' if you can!
Swat after, swat, after swat!
Red itchy skin, what the h3ll!
The open breeze feels real good,
crawling too bite NATE!
NOTE~ I've never been bitten by these insects,
I just love the way my mother would always say...
"Don't let the bed bugs bite!"
Contest: "Bite me!"
**I bite Nathan, who'll probably will love it ;-)**...LOL...
childhood, education, family, fantasy, children, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, imagination, inspirational, life, love, people, teen, uplifting, visionary
braces interlocked - told him no kissing
friendship, funny love, girl, girlfriend, love, love hurts,
Yeah I know it feels weird
But it's too beautiful to be bad
Now it's scary cos it might be a masquerade
If we happen to be more than what we are
Now that's cos we have become more than I can describe
No one understands when I sing all that jazz
It's already more than the music for mature minds
They go with the sarcastic reply "Just friends, yeah right"
And then I am lost in my definition
A new synonym is added in its oxymoron
She has become my doubted confidante
But only to the minds who refuse to see
If am gonna kick that bucket, it's definitely not your water in it
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, romance, sad, song-sympathy, teen
funny, giggle, girlfriend, humor, humorous,
If you want my ex girlfriend, she's up for grabs.
But if you sleep with her, you will get the Crabs.
It's possible that you may get Herpes too.
Sleeping with her is a stupid thing to do.
I caught her in bed with my cousin and I thumped her.
She sleeps with a lot of men, that's why I dumped her.
I'm giving you valuable advice so you'd better listen to me.
If you seduce my ex girlfriend, you are sure to get an STD.
(This is a fictional poem)