Humorous and funny God poems and/or funny poems about God. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious God funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other God Poems.
“O commercialized corporate franchise”
Thou that holds illusions in selling lies
Max out your credit cards
Lenders be holder’s lords
Forfeiting all bank notes as owner cries
“O commercialized corporate franchise”
My babies wonder about Christmas guys
My babies’ futures be scared
Must obey corporate lords
“O thou commercialized corporate lies”
Just commercialized greedy Xmas rush
Souls like zombies of the corporate thrust
The X of the Christ
O Love’s sacrifice
“In commercialized corporate we trust”
For Commercialized Humor contest
Sponsored by: Carolyn Devonshire
god, humor, religion,
OH MY GOD!!!
Assemble all the gods we’ve built,
stand them in a line, then walk along
the corridor and ponder which is yours,
which is mine? Dragons, stoics, satyrs,
saints, all stony faced with colored paints.
Some in regal pompous robes others missing
all their clothes. Fierce and sullen, sour faced
one look to put you in your place, kind and
gentle, bended knee promising to set you free.
Ogre sneers on giant cats, fat and sassy spoiled brats.
These are the gods we have created.
Thank God they never met - and mated.
John G. Lawless
analogy, animal, future, god, humorous, life, men,
Before there was a thing called "Man"
The Maker had a better plan.
He filled he sea with little fish
Of every kind that He might wish.
Then He made the dinosaur
To rule the land from shore to shore.
Next came the monks, orang-otan.
Gorillas, and an ape called "Man".
Man is half God, and beast one half.
He writes his own grim epitaph.
The Maker thinks, "Next time the plants?
Not yet, until I've tried the ants".
90 nations provide their citizens with a better education than the USA*
96 nations provide their citizens with better healthcare than the USA*
99 nations provide their citizens with less discrimination than the USA*
41% of American voters insist, "We can't handle the truth! Tell us
COVID-19 is an HOAX and Climate Change is FAKE NEWS for four more years!"
* SPI=Social Progress Index
funny, god, love, religious,
Some attend church to be seen, and wear their new clothes,
While others sit on their pew and silently doze.
During the service a few will check their cell phone,
With messages they just can’t seem to postpone.
Some men darken the church door out of fear,
Because if they don’t their spouse won’t let them near.
There are those that go to church because it is fun,
They like to see their friends, and talk to everyone.
Music lovers go to church because they love to sing,
And others wait for the sermon the preacher will bring.
Whatever your reason, God is watching from above.
He knows your true heart, and is full of love.
allah, angel, angst, confusion, dream, education, faith, freedom, god, happiness, health, heaven, history, holocaust, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, miracle, nature, on writing and words, pain, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religious, sad, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?
allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?
angel, angst, art, bible, boyfriend, eve, god, humor, language, nature, nice, retirement, science, senses, silly, snow,
RIPAE BENI DEAU VER
In modus fasciculumque Brady pus.
Rogationes, confractum egemus.
Ripa nostra, sus amica,
Sic superbum precum, pape beatus.
The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand moves in mysterious ways. Just ignore him.
food, kids, funny, god, philosophy, religion, science,
Had a fig Newton
Dropped it on the floor
God said, Let Newton be!
And all was right.
Until the Ants
Loch David Crane
funny, god, irony, religious, spiritual, , atheist,
Three Atheist limericks
for April Fools' Day 2006
Dear Mrs. Schiavo: Goodbye.
Dear Mrs. Schiavo: Goodbye.
Fifteen years was a long time to die.
Your husband was brave
To withstand the wave
Of inedible pie in the sky.
Why San Diegans remove Crosses from public Land
The SD City Council must hold strong:
Those mountaintop Christians are wrong.
Crucifixion's the sign
Of insensitive minds
Not the Native Americans' song.
Dear Judeo-Christian God:
Your behavior's exceedingly odd.
You let Hitler misbehave
Then killed thousands with waves
And can't keep your priests' hands off kids' bods!
baseball, funny, god,
upside down from a rafter
giving my cherished name
to short splintered sticks
that hits long balls
out of sight
both day and night and
did I mention the difficulty that I have
in going while hanging upside down
God made it so that
I must move to move
and stand upright
desire, god, humor, sorry, sweet,
From the top of my head
to the tip of my toes
there's nothing about me,
that God does not know.
He knows I am weak,
but in Him I am strong.
And what ever I do,
He sees my rights
and He sees my wrongs.
God, You know I'm not perfect,
and this cookie I eat,
tastes so delicious,
fresh baked and sweet.
Help me, God, to control
my diabetes today.
And give me a love
for more veggies, I pray.
(P.S., God, Can you make them taste sweet?
Like the cookies so tempting that I love to eat.)
friendship, god, home, humorous, i love you, love, motivation,
May God bless this house
Where all abide
Love and care for one another
Tolerate and accept each other
Share and share alike
Lift each other's burdens
Help each other with household chores
Smile when we see each other
And care for our animals
Lastly volunteer to put the bins out!
Once there was a dame called Anne “the bane”
Her trick “God-promise .My words are true & sane”
“Sam and Bern are prophets.God-promise!”
“my comprehension is the truth.God-promise!”
Bloody are we in “stone age” or “iron age” dame?
faith, funny, humorous, religion,
"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill
And need to own more than just one
A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack
baptism, beauty, city, eve, first love, funny, gender, god, history, independence day, mystery, mythology, night, obituary, raven, sea, silly, summer, sweet, teacher, world, yellow,
Lauren Hill slow songs thrill,
they pop like a fast moving pill,
I am flopped on top of a junk food bill,
and running with a skunk who tells me to take in my fill-
like leading um' on into my dream,
I create a festering lean,
I rank every thought in order of how I like it,
and prep for a long time that's gonna break all the cycles.
Striding with my shrine,
as I shock a spine,
revitalize and prime-
as I preen and primp and chimp-
as I act like a pimp,
I black out and gimp,
skimp out on my dying moment because death is no shrimp!
beauty, cute love, funny, girl, god, humorous, sexy, silly, uplifting,
pairs of perky little round things
He wouldn’t have designed implants
But provided angels
only with wings
addiction, allusion, angel, anger, art, celebration, confusion, crazy, depression, desire, earth, emotions, fantasy, fear, feelings, freedom, god, grief, health, humanity, humorous, image, imagination, life, loneliness, love, magic, music, nonsense, peace, planet, political, poverty, power, pride, psychological, sound, space, spiritual, stars, stress, suicide, sympathy, teen, usa, wisdom, world,
Take the pill
on the hill
and don't be shrill
when you see the rainbow
when you are low.
Just go with the flow
and eat the purple snow.
Chase the rabbits
through the green field
but use my shield
to end all of your habits.
fantasy, funny, humor, humorous, imagination,
faith, funny, life, philosophy, religion,
MEN OF GOD
Kenya is a Godly nation
Check on any TV station
Starts at dawn and goes all day
Teaching people how to pray
Then at night it's shilling serious
With the watchers drunk –delirious-
If you want the chance to pray
First you get the chance to pay
“Men of God,” my colleague swilled--
“Deserve a special God-rate bill.
When I do a job for them
Charge them twenty not just ten.”
Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
12/01/12 Juja, Kenya Africa
beauty, birth, celebration, creation, culture, fish, future, god, history, humor, image, imagination, immigration, inspirational, life, magic, miracle, mystery, mythology, natural disasters, nature, night, nostalgia, ocean, old, science, sea, technology, voyage,
Science in all fascination has discovered a species aquatic
Theorizing this new yet old species remained hidden as Merman
only to live in secret at the oceans floor the mermaid a tribe indigenous
once said to be myth yet all proof and technology film does not lie
Tsunamis has given the ocean a true glance of the man with webbed hands
The species communes with dolphins will be under a microscope to analyze ?
" The World is not ready to see what I have " Jacques Cousteau ~
to be entered in The Science contest ~
Pharaoh divine, Amenhotep the fourth,
Could explain very own Sphinx head of course,
Having anchored in Mars,
His head stares at the stars,
Made only Mars, no divinity source!
They say proof is always in the pudding,
Or to tell you this story I wouldn’t,
One day in precept’s cars,
We’ll drive around on Mars,
Viewing the Sphinx, the god head that couldn't!
For Contest, ”Sphinx Head on Mars
In Honor Of: Carolyn Devonshire
christian, faith, funny, god, happy, humorous, life, song, song-uplifting, work,
Quit my job, smashed my car
My back does throb, need to learn guitar
So I can make, a silly song
And I can sing, it all day long
About how, my God is strong
So that even now, nothing’s wrong
Even though, I quit my job
smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I’ve got God
So I won’t let any thought
Any worry or fear
Convince me you’re not near
Even when, I quit my job,
Smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I won’t sob
I need to learn guitar
beauty, betrayal, death of a friend, devotion, forgiveness, future, god, goodbye, horror, humorous, image, inspiration,
i have crafted and shafted and then re positioned
divulged and indulged to precise disposition
yet frankly my points are most blunt at the end and my walls tend to fall at the slightest of bends
be it not such a bridge but a try at amends, with a friend who is quite hard of hearing
come step in my cauldron both women and children, these are the crimes i admit to both willinging and wildered
For i am the poet of pilgrims ,
what was left has been pillaged and raped, and only i who had managed escape
have been left to rebuild from the timbers
funny, god, silly,
Why did you make mosquitos?
They bite my nose.
I hate them!
Why did you make the ocean salty?
Could you make it malty?
I could use a beer.
Why so many seasons?
I see no reason.
Couldn't you make up your mind?
Why do we age
and have PMS rage?
I wish I was a boy.
Why did you make men?
But then again.....
He ! He! He!
Why did you make me curious?
I know it makes you furious
when I ask you stupid questions.