Funny Poems About Grandchild or Grandchild Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Grandchild poems and/or funny poems about Grandchild. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Grandchild funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Grandchild Poems.

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: fun, funny, grandchild, grandmother, grandson, humor, humorous,

What Does Pulverize Mean

What does pulverize mean? The five-year-old asks me.
His face is a frown.
“No idea,” I lie. 
Having already put up with sobbing wailing 
over the Easter Bunny’s beheading
which was explained by his 11-year-old brother.
Brother who giggles and runs off.
No telling how he has used pulverize.

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: baby, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous, relationship,

She Was Born With Cat Ears

She was born with cat ears.
So cute! Everyone lied.
Some of us felt them.
They were striped, and furry.
Odd for a human head.
Gray, pink in the middle.
“Adorable!” some of us said.
“Can they be removed?” the new grandmother asked.
Making her daughter-in-law her enemy for life.

Poem Details | by David Sollis |
Categories: child, daughter, family, girl, grandchild, humorous, my child, silly,

A 4 Line Poem For H

I know a little girl named Hannah
A pretty, bashful and quiet child
But when she goes to visit Nanna
She eats too much chocolate and goes wild!

Poem Details | by Michael Ward |
Categories: confusion, fun, grandchild, grandfather, humor, humorous, teenage,

A True Storey

A true storey

My grandson paid me a visit
The other day
And I asked him do you still play
And he said that he wanted a trumpet
I thought  that I would give him a surprise
If I showed a little enterprise

So off to the shops I did go
And I bought a trumpet that
Even I could not blow
I gave my grandson the trumpet
And he said what's this grandad

It's what you wanted I said
I never said I wanted a trumpet
I said I wanted a drum kit 
I can't play the trumpet and the drums
What do you think I am going to do 
Join a band of one man bands

And if I could I would need another pair
Of hands

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: funny, grandchild, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, grandson, love hurts,

Lost the Remote In the Living Room

I lost the remote in the living room.
On Saturday.
My husband and I ran around looking and looking.
At first it was just the couch pillows, we were looking through.
An hour into it we had made what looks like a bon fire,
Tipping over couches, recliners, and such.
We broke a couple of tables.
Hey, wait, my husband reminded me.
Merlin was here today.
I called Merlin’s mommy, our daughter.
She said, "Oh, darn. We just found it. We thought it
was the one we lost a couple of weeks ago."

Merlin is our two year old grandson
Whom we apparently did not watch
As well as we should have the 
5 hours he was here.
He is going to have to
Leave his hoodie and
His diapers at home.

Poem Details | by Gary Wayne Hill |
Categories: children, grandchild, grandfather, humorous,

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Out of the mouths of babes Words of wisdom are spoken Don’t make a promise you cannot keep They’ll remind you a promise is broken Despite having little minds I have to date not met A toddler who when given a promise Will simply just forget I’ll say “I’ll play with you tomorrow” The reply “you said that yesterday, So you must come and play with me, Tomorrow is now today” “Grandad, will you play with me” I reply “sorry I haven’t the time” “It’s alright Grandad, I have. It’s almost half past nine” “Sorry Grandad really can’t. Grandad is very tired” That’s when I got my marching orders When told “Grandad, you’re boring, you’re FIRED”

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: feelings, grandchild, granddaughter, grandmother, grandparents, humorous, kid,

My Grandchildren Know Me Too

One time after an especially fun Grandma Cousin Camp Week
Where Grandpa was in hiding for 7 days, and 8 grandchildren and I did whatever
we please,
There was a bit of pouting
That it had to come to an end.
My oldest granddaughter, whom I will refer to as EM,
the wisest of the wise, because she is 4 years older
and terribly smart said,
"You know how you guys like to have a friend over?"
There was lots of nodding and yesing because we all love Em.
"Well, Grandma is having a friend over," she explained.
"It's GRANDMA!" 
They all got in the car
and waved good-bye,
Fully understanding

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: food, grandchild, grandmother, humorous,


Jeez - how much mess can a jovial toddler make! Jello is smeared on his jubilant face, and grape juice drips from the highchair! Just like his daddy, his jaded granny recalls! Checked with how many syllables J Pleiades Contest Sponsored by Kim Merryman 03~04~17

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: food, fun, funny, grandchild, grandmother,

Dunking Cookies While It Rains

Sugars and butter -
cream them together.
White and brown mix ‘round.
Flour, salt, baking powder,
vanilla…fond scent…
add chips, scoop, wait - while they bake.

choc’late chip cookie
broke in half into his cup -
splash of milk in eye

grandma and grandson munching on cookies
our laughs are grand too…splashes
occur in and outside ;)

grandma runs off…he asks:
“are you writing a poem?”
“Of course!” she winks,
as he washes the milk from his eye.


reverse epulaeryu 1/3/5/5/7/5/7
senryu 5/7/5
kimo 10/7/6
free verse

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: fear, grandchild, grandmother, humorous,

Soda Fountain

The boy gave a pass after sip.
The connection lame - lost my grip.
The fountain of suds
around my sole floods.
The humor and fear as I slip.

On pause, as I wait for a towel.
Aloof, as I cry and I howl.
Surrounded, I'm stuck
in pond like a duck.
This murderous flip's not too foul.

The youth, he's ashamed and he hides.
and knowingly, I do not chide.
I find and I hug,
I smile and I shrug.
This Gram thus takes slicks all in stride.


*All too true of a story! One sip, then an entire can of sprite
spills out of the can. A scary accident! Thankfully I'm fine
and the four year old was not hurt!

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: fun, funny, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous,

Advice Today Different Than Maybe Yesterday

So I had to tell her to BLEEP off, Grandma.
She is fourteen, as of forty-six hours ago.
I am shocked.  
I wisely decide to give her some Grandmotherly advice.
Me:  Were there witnesses?
Molly: No.
Me:  Did anyone have their I-phone out?
Molly:  One, but I chased her down and smacked it out of her hand and hit delete.
I reported this conversation to my husband who rolled his eyes
And asked, “How is your Mini-Me?"

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: fun, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, hilarious, humor, humorous,

I Will Tell Grandpa On You

My four-year-old grandson 
ran to the house to tell grandpa 
to make me stop building a fire.
His older siblings laughed.
Toasted marshmallows.

“I am calling 911 
and the Fire Department!” he
yelled from the porch.
“Come back and we can toast smores,” I said.
He stuck out his tongue.

“He came running in demanding my phone,”
my husband told me later, “so he could call 
911 and the fire department.”

“And he wanted you to tell me to stop, right?”
I asked him.
We both laughed.
Four does not understand yet who 
the boss is.

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: grandchild, humorous,

Blue Water

the storm of blue water,
a day which will live in infamy.

the fear that clung to his little bum
as he raced into the hallway,
quivering, and i ask him what’s wrong.

he points at the princely seat,
“the water’s blue...the water’s blue”

his little scientific mind
saw this as a potential calamity.

now ten, this story would certainly beat
his face red.


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: grandchild, humorous,

The World's Prettiest Baby Ever

The prettiest baby ever born.
The kindest child ever imagined.
The most adorable smile ever created.
So darling, she should be in the dictionary under the word darling.
The softest hair ever created.
The pinkest lips.
The bluest eyes.
So cute, your eyes will fall out because of her cuteness.
First grandchild?
How did you guess?

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: grandchild, grandfather, humor, time,

What Time Do You Think It Is

What time is it? The child dared to ask.
Her grandfather walked her to the enormous square.
Take a peek, he told her. It’s right there.
She had no idea what she was facing.

It is a sundial, he told her. It will tell you the time.
She spoke to the sundial, but it did not reply.
She walked around it looking for a digital display.
There was none.

She finally took out her phone and looked.
2:45 p.m. the phone said.
Her grandfather had his back turned.
What time do you think it is? He asked when he turned to face her. 
“Maybe 2:46 p.m.," she guessed.
He was astounded.

Poem Details | by John Wilmore |
Categories: child, children, giggle, grandchild, silly,

Egbert the Eggbee

Egbert is a strange young lad, he’s neither egg nor bee.
He’s also neither bee nor egg so, what could Egbert be?
He’s bee-ish in an eggy way, and he’s eggish like a bee,
When you ask him what he is, he says, “I’m Egbert. I’m just me!”

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: grandchild, humorous,

You Are My Sweetheart

Hug. Hug. Kiss. Kiss. Smooch. Smooch.
Being four, he does not want to even think about that stuff
until his grandma comes into the room.
You are my sweetheart! He yells, wanting her all to himself.
He holds her head steady, so she can only look at him.
Can I look at your sister? She asks him.
Hug. Hug. Kiss. Kiss. Smooch. Smooch.
The answer is no apparently.

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: grandchild, humorous,

Grand Pair

The kid on candy, whirlygig, hitting me
with plastic bottle. When I protest, throws
soft blanket, covers my head. And he won’t quit.
Stop it I say, and he doesn’t. 

So I try to get his attention, make him obey
with hands by his side,

but my laughter grows wider and wider
and it's my laughter I can’t control.

He sees my tremors, my tee hee teeth.
Somehow I make my point.

It’s not til later on when he tells ME to stop
and I do
and I remind him, he too
needs to stop,
when I ask him too.

We make a grand pair.


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: grandchild, granddaughter, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, grandson, humor,

Not this Time

they swarm into our home like bees
seeking daisies, lilies, roses, and such
we throw sugary treats at them
allow them to commandeer the TVs
and the computers
Their parents roll their eyes
For we were never this way with “them”
We did not have to be
We were not their grandparents

The grandchildren want to live with us
They want to move in
They think we are better than their parents
Because we can spoil them completely for a few hours
Some want to spend the night
We have to say “not this time”
Because when they leave
we are exhausted and have to take a long nap
because our energy is completely gone
which is why God gives babies to young people

Poem Details | by Judy Bausch |
Categories: baby, child, childhood, grandchild, humor,

Sitting With Winnie

Sitting with Winnie

Running from MiMi in polka dots 
Makes me giggle at haughty tots
Who don’t want to use their potty pots.
I’m now thinking of tequila shots
And other things I oughta nots.

       ~ Judy Bausch