Funny Poems About Grandparents or Grandparents Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Grandparents poems and/or funny poems about Grandparents. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Grandparents funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Grandparents Poems.

Poem Details | by Line Gauthier |
Categories: funny, grandparents, longing, lust, night, nostalgia, silly,

IMPURE THOUGHTS



On her nightdress candlelight flickers
While underneath she wears blue knickers
Grandpa recalls Kentucky
The last time he got lucky
Grandma just rolls her eyes and snickers



May 19, 2019
9-9-7-7-9
for Tania Kitchin's Bawdy Limericks Contest


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: baby, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous, relationship,

She was Born with Cat Ears

She was born with cat ears.
So cute! Everyone lied.
Some of us felt them.
They were striped, and furry.
Odd for a human head.
Gray, pink in the middle.
“Adorable!” some of us said.
“Can they be removed?” the new grandmother asked.
Making her daughter-in-law her enemy for life.


Poem Details | by Smail Poems |
Categories: age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!

Poem Details | by Janice Canerdy |
Categories: age, grandparents, humor,

Grandma and Grandpa Did WHAT


 

There was an old geezer from Pippin
who wanted to go skinny dippin'.
He gave his wife whisky;
they got bare and and frisky.
Then into the pond both went slippin'.



April 9, 2018, entered in Viv Wigley's Traditional Limerick Contest


Poem Details | by Michael Campbell |
Categories: children, dad, grandparents, growing up, humorous, love, simple,

Boys

Running
Leaping
Spinning 
Crashing
Running, leaping, wild,
Like a blur, my spinning, crashing, child.

Poem Details | by Patricia Lawton |
Categories: grandparents, growing up, humor, nostalgia,

grandparents

Grandparents.

Many, many years ago
when grannies were little girls.
They had very long hair with polka-dot ribbons
entwined around their curls.
And granddads played with catapults and different
wooden toys.
They were full of mischief and curious little boys.
They learn to climb the tallest trees
and tease the little girls.
And pull their polka-dot ribbons out
and mess up all their curls.
Then they grew up and fell in-love
that's when their lives began to change.
They'd act daft with lovey stuff
which some girls found very strange.
Lives tapestry exchanges their struggles
to survive.
The best memories are those of my grandparents 
and the changes in their lives.

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: funny, grandchild, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, grandson, love hurts,

Lost the Remote in the Living Room

I lost the remote in the living room.
On Saturday.
My husband and I ran around looking and looking.
At first it was just the couch pillows, we were looking through.
An hour into it we had made what looks like a bon fire,
Tipping over couches, recliners, and such.
We broke a couple of tables.
Hey, wait, my husband reminded me.
Merlin was here today.
I called Merlin’s mommy, our daughter.
She said, "Oh, darn. We just found it. We thought it
was the one we lost a couple of weeks ago."

Merlin is our two year old grandson
Whom we apparently did not watch
As well as we should have the 
5 hours he was here.
He is going to have to
Leave his hoodie and
His diapers at home.


Poem Details | by John lawless |
Categories: age, grandparents, humorous, life,

They're out there

They’re out there in their walkers timeless stalkers shuffling along uncharted seas, smiling at the commonplace, frowning at the wind. Grey clouds of drifting age content to meet old shadows holding court on park bench seat, practicing the principles of peace. gazing at a future now in reach. Do a little shuffle dance, kick a stone, blow a kiss to memory and walk alone, know the joy of aging’s antics because it’s either this or ceramics. John G. Lawless 11/17/2015

Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: grandparents, humorous, sexy,

A Threesome

After sex she asked,"Should we try a threesome"
He answered, "It's not that the idea is bad,"
"But, I weigh two eighty, you one ninety"
"So I think a threesome is what we just had!"

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: feelings, grandchild, granddaughter, grandmother, grandparents, humorous, kid,

My Grandchildren Know Me Too

One time after an especially fun Grandma Cousin Camp Week
Where Grandpa was in hiding for 7 days, and 8 grandchildren and I did whatever
we please,
There was a bit of pouting
That it had to come to an end.
My oldest granddaughter, whom I will refer to as EM,
the wisest of the wise, because she is 4 years older
and terribly smart said,
"You know how you guys like to have a friend over?"
There was lots of nodding and yesing because we all love Em.
"Well, Grandma is having a friend over," she explained.
"It's GRANDMA!" 
They all got in the car
and waved good-bye,
Fully understanding
now.


Poem Details | by Terry Flood |
Categories: car, funny, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, humorous,

Smash n Gran - for Succinct contest

Strange things happened that last time my Grandpa drove to town
He scrapped a nine eleven and mowed a phone booth down
Folkies in the future will very likely sing
The man trashed a McDonald’s but spared a Burger King

It barely made the papers, just local news in some
Someone should have told them that there was worse to come
Spielberg’s gonna make a movie, if the rumour’s sound
Of the total devastation when Grandma drove to town

19 December 2018
For Succinct contest
Sponsor Michelle Faulkner

Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: funny, grandparents,

The Golden Years

Old men in the home got Viagra
An experiment is what was said
They stated it was about safety
To keep them from rolling out of bed!

Since it takes a while to wear off
Breakfast can get a little loud
Turning around and knocking off plates
But at least they all look really proud!

It also cheers up the old ladies
They smile when they look up and down
Wanting to try an start a spark
Is easier with wood all around!

Poem Details | by Judy Valko |
Categories: grandparents, humor, kid,

Grandpa's Nose



Grandpa’s Nose

Grandpa’s nose is rather big
it’s shaped just like a horn
It doesn’t bother Grandpa,
he says that’s how he was born

I’m glad it’s not a ‘pick’ a lo
or a snooty flute 
but when people hear him ‘toot’ his nose
they stand up and salute

Poem Details | by Howard Kerr |
Categories: crazy, family, fun, funny, giving, grandparents, smart,

Oh That Will - TB

Our big happy 
family, since 
granny left will!

NB Wills can be divisive in a wry humorous way.

Date created and submitted : 30 November 2020

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: fun, funny, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous,

Advice Today Different Than Maybe Yesterday

So I had to tell her to BLEEP off, Grandma.
She is fourteen, as of forty-six hours ago.
I am shocked.  
I wisely decide to give her some Grandmotherly advice.
Me:  Were there witnesses?
Molly: No.
Me:  Did anyone have their I-phone out?
Molly:  One, but I chased her down and smacked it out of her hand and hit delete.
I reported this conversation to my husband who rolled his eyes
And asked, “How is your Mini-Me?"

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: fun, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, hilarious, humor, humorous,

I Will Tell Grandpa on You

My four-year-old grandson 
ran to the house to tell grandpa 
to make me stop building a fire.
His older siblings laughed.
Toasted marshmallows.

“I am calling 911 
and the Fire Department!” he
yelled from the porch.
“Come back and we can toast smores,” I said.
He stuck out his tongue.

“He came running in demanding my phone,”
my husband told me later, “so he could call 
911 and the fire department.”

“And he wanted you to tell me to stop, right?”
I asked him.
We both laughed.
Four does not understand yet who 
the boss is.

Poem Details | by Indiana Shaw |
Categories: grandparents, humorous, metaphor,

Disgusting Grandparents

DISGUSTING GRANDPARENTS
"pensioners are revolting, they refuse to pay their TV licence"
Indiana Shaw . . . : /

Poem Details | by Gerald Dillenbeck |
Categories: age, birthday, grandparents, health, humor, senses, sexy,

Sappy Birthday 69

I remember, do you,
age appropriate for two
grandparents like you,
when sixty-nine
was a thing that you do
when you're hot twenty-and-a-few
too many.

I remember, do you,
grandmother's party at the zoo,
Happy SixtyNine on her cake
smelled and spelled like "Mistake",
Happy BodyDay to you two,
each doing who,
sweet memories
too.