Humorous and funny Green poems and/or funny poems about Green. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Green funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Green Poems.
Had my hair color treated
To surprise the wedding guests
Shock came at the rehearsal
Groom wanted to leave
His once-blonde bride had green curls
She’d been hoping for brunette
Oh, how the bridesmaids chuckled
Wig worn at wedding
Sadly, a true story.
Dorian Petersen Potter
car, friend, friendship, funny, giggle, halloween, humorous,
I have a friend by the name of Tim,
He keeps in shape when frequents the gym.
His Kelly green Mustang he drove
And smack'd it into a cove.
The witches got him and ate one of his limbs!
No, I can’t believe it happened again!
Surely folks think I stand out like Big Ben
The Jolly Old Green Giant
Snarls at me, so defiant
Green hair – and I’m not a comedian
It first occurred just before I was wed
Dyed my blonde hair brown; it turned green instead
Now the chlorine in the pool
Made me look like quite a fool
And I’ve no option but to shave my head
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
fun, funny, , cute,
Green Anaconda was the cute friend of Rhonda
Slippin’ and slidin’, so fast and strong like Honda
They went to Hotel La Boanara
Dined on caiman and capybara
And went to the Louvre to kiss La Gioconda
Time to wear your green
Leprechauns are on the way
Look for some green beer!
funny, funny love, green, humor, humorous, imagery, relationship,
"What do we have for breakfast?"
"Lettuce and cabbage juice!" she
She had forced him to change
his blue pajamas to green
pajamas, then he returns
to bed -
the bed had to have green sheets,
green bed cover, and a green
"Why do you do this to me?!" he asks.
"I was born in St. Patrick's Day!!!"
He can't wait for a green light
to escape a world where
everything he hates is green.
He's afraid he's lost her love in the greenness....
There’s coming a time of great cheer
when folks will drink lots of green beer
tell tales of wee sprites
and magical sights.
St. Patrick’s Day soon will be here.
On that day, if you don’t wear green,
just stay in your house. Don’t be seen,
or else a hard pinch
might cause you to flinch.
Some pinchers can be downright mean!
February 15, 2019, entered in Carolyn Devonshire's March Day Contest
food, funny, nonsense, science fiction,
Lurking in fuzzy leftovers is seen
A quivering, crawling hairball of green
A florescent prune
Or cheese from the moon
Gurgles gastric, plastic alien spleen
The miser squire requires gluts of caffeine
To dissect this science project's gangrene
Harpoon on a spoon
Zoom to the saloon
Lunch ladies' supreme mystery cuisine.
For Green Humor contest
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
dance, green, humorous,
There once was lad named Sean,
Who thought he was a leprechaun.
He dressed all in green,
And pinched the colleens,
Then danced a jig until dawn.
(Colleen - an Irish girl)
A green rose I send to thee
on the wings of a bird set free.
With it comes my deepest desires,
that burn in the midnight moon on radiant fires.
Your secret mole, hidden from the public eye
flashes in my memory, dancing on ambers as if suspended on wires.
My drunken leprechaun, you intoxicate me with your lies.
You only want to amuse yourself while I take a green wee.
funny, garden, sexy,
There once was a cougar named Rose
who kept the young men on their toes.
Working in her garden
they'd say "beg your pardon
I'll bet you could use a good hose!"
for Bawdy Limericks Two contest
sponsored by Roy Jerden
wonderful slick shell,
Brown and golden, the color of a shell.
That perfect shaped shell.
The shell of my turtle i know too well.
You are the greenest.
The most bravest.
And fastest (i think)
And maybe the smartest too.
You slick and slide,
And glide on by,
The water is what you love.
And you swim in the water, like a dove in the sky.
Did you ever see a cow with a green eyebrow
If you did, you'd best lay off the hooch
Hooch in moderation is acceptable
But if you see a pink elephant fly by your window
You have definitely over indulged
Another sign is when the things you say
Don't exactly match what you're thinking
Such as instead of saying, “You have nice boobs”
You actually say “bice noobs”
Has a nice ring to it as does “a great sackbide”
Hey I don't make this stuff up you know!
So getting back to that strange looking cow
If you haven't been drinking... and you see one
Run, don't walk, to the nearest shrink!
© Jack Ellison 2015
children, humorous, mum,
She stood innocently picking her nose
Wiped green slime upon mummy’s pretty clothes
When her mum saw the mess
Even she will confess
That mum and daughter almost came to blows
Apologies for the subject .... but the challenge by John Wulf was to come up with a limerick to use with his picture
8th July 2015
funny, giggle, green,
Fresh and green grass farm
Maiden walks freely at glance
Footstep in cow's dung
There once was a man named O'Dean
Who wasn't too bright or too keen
He sneezed at the bar
Filling everyone's jar
And, that's why our beer is now green
anniversary, fun, giving, green, humor, money,
My parents’ repeated refrain -
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
In my dreams, a lush tree grew
with leaves of high numbers,
nothing under a twenty.
On our 25th Anniversary,
our church threw
a surprise party.
After the pot-luck dinner,
a gaily wrapped gift box
sported a top slit, waving
a bit of green. As we pulled,
a chain of bills roped up
through the slot, coiling
ribbons of green.
I had seen “Money Trees”
as special occasion gifts,
but for the one and only
time, we experienced the gift
of “Money in a Box.”
addiction, angst, blue, green, humorous, longing, memory,
All those wee pot flakes
So carelessly whisked away...
Could use a joint now.
Old Paddy went to the pub dressed in green
The oddest sight the boys had ever seen
He wore thigh high hose
All covered in bows
Of cross dressing he was crowned this year's queen
fantasy, fear, funny, hilarious,
I had some extra green paint
Oh what can I do to make her faint
So a dabbed a bit down below
When in the room she came for a blow
Green-eyed monster is waiting to show
ok ok I saw so many poems with this topic, I said what the hell, why not!
death of a friend, funny, green, grief,
About the deceased say either good or nothing,
Therefore at the funeral of the deceased chief,
The subordinates danced in full silence,
With happy faces, but slowly with grief!
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
food, funny, green,
The green cuisine will make you lean.
Like Jeanne, Christine, or age eighteen.
Sardines, soybeans, along with greens
Will help you fit in smaller jeans.
The diet scene, you've seen umpteen!
You've worked out on the green machine.
Being lean they say is supreme.
Like if you are a strong marine.
Or when he rubs on your sunscreen.
But if you're fat and seem obscene,
Be sure to wear a hat that's green.
The color green is so serene.
And sparkles in the sunlight's sheen.
Eat: kale, spinach and collard greens
Or buy a great big hat thats green!
© March 1, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: The Colors Have It
Sponsor Russell Sivey
funny, giggle, hilarious, humor, humorous,
Me friend, Ol’ Paddy’s, a joke
He thinks he can best any bloke
“you’ll see …
None better’n me!”
(‘Tis braggadocio he spoke.)
So I, from rancid cuisine
Passed gas - ‘twas really obscene
Then I state:
“Do it, Mate:
Catch that ... paint it green!”
funny, green, nature,
Somehow you flew in and hid
Right under my toilet lid
Ouite sure you were dead
'Little pest!' I said
Pity the poor Katydid!
Saw a leg twitch, God forbid
Guess what I done-gone-and-did?
'Okay, my green lass
Go die in the grass'
Pity the poor Katydid!
*** Katydids are harmless bright green insects with large wings in the cricket-grasshopper family
clothes, humorous, mother daughter,
Val’s daughter was picking her nose
Then wiping snot on Val’s new clothes
When Val finds sticky mess
Of green slime on her dress
The distress in her quickly rose
Green bogeys all over her sleeve
So slimy they make poor Val heave
To resolve this issue
Hands daughter a tissue
But bogeys on dress will not leave!
Val’s outfit that once was pristine
Is covered with snot of bright green
To compound Val’s distress
She cannot wash this dress
Dry cleaning should get her dress clean!
each stanza 8,8,6,6,8 checked with how many syllables