Humorous and funny Green poems and/or funny poems about Green. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Green funny poems!
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
funny, wedding,
Green, But No Envy
Had my hair color treated
To surprise the wedding guests
Shock came at the rehearsal
Groom wanted to leave
His once-blonde bride had green curls
She’d been hoping for brunette
Oh, how the bridesmaids chuckled
Wig worn at wedding
Sadly, a true story.
Written by
Dorian Petersen Potter
Categories:
car, friend, friendship, funny, giggle, halloween, humorous,
Tim and His Kelly Green Mustang
I have a friend by the name of Tim,
He keeps in shape when frequents the gym.
His Kelly green Mustang he drove
And smack'd it into a cove.
The witches got him and ate one of his limbs!
Dorian Petersen
aka ladydp2000
copyright@2014
October,5,2014
Written by
Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
Categories:
fun, funny, , cute,
Green Anaconda
Green Anaconda was the cute friend of Rhonda
Slippin’ and slidin’, so fast and strong like Honda
They went to Hotel La Boanara
Dined on caiman and capybara
And went to the Louvre to kiss La Gioconda
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
funny,
Going Green Again
No, I can’t believe it happened again!
Surely folks think I stand out like Big Ben
The Jolly Old Green Giant
Snarls at me, so defiant
Green hair – and I’m not a comedian
It first occurred just before I was wed
Dyed my blonde hair brown; it turned green instead
Now the chlorine in the pool
Made me look like quite a fool
And I’ve no option but to shave my head
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
funny,
Wear Your Green
Time to wear your green
Leprechauns are on the way
Look for some green beer!
Written by
Michelle Faulkner
Categories:
food, funny, nonsense, science fiction,
Green Cuisine
Lurking in fuzzy leftovers is seen
A quivering, crawling hairball of green
A florescent prune
Or cheese from the moon
Gurgles gastric, plastic alien spleen
The miser squire requires gluts of caffeine
To dissect this science project's gangrene
Harpoon on a spoon
Zoom to the saloon
Lunch ladies' supreme mystery cuisine.
3/15/19
For Green Humor contest
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
Written by
Teddy Kimathi
Categories:
funny, funny love, green, humor, humorous, imagery, relationship,
Theory of Greenness
"What do we have for breakfast?"
"Lettuce and cabbage juice!" she
replies excitedly.
She had forced him to change
his blue pajamas to green
pajamas, then he returns
to bed -
the bed had to have green sheets,
green bed cover, and a green
pillow.
"Why do you do this to me?!" he asks.
"I was born in St. Patrick's Day!!!"
she replies.
He can't wait for a green light
to escape a world where
everything he hates is green.
He's afraid he's lost her love in the greenness....
Written by
Janice Canerdy
Categories:
humor,
Wear Green--Or Else
There’s coming a time of great cheer
when folks will drink gallons of beer
tell tales of wee sprites
and magical sights.
St. Patrick’s Day soon will be here.
On that day, if you don’t wear green,
just stay in your house. Don’t be seen,
or else a hard pinch
might cause you to flinch.
Some pinchers can be downright mean!
Written by
Kim Merryman
Categories:
dance, green, humorous,
Misguided Sean
There once was lad named Sean,
Who thought he was a leprechaun.
He dressed all in green,
And pinched the colleens,
Then danced a jig until dawn.
9/18/18
(Colleen - an Irish girl)
Written by
Martin Braun
Categories:
humor,
A Green Rose I Send To Thee
A green rose I send to thee
on the wings of a bird set free.
With it comes my deepest desires,
that burn in the midnight moon on radiant fires.
Your secret mole, hidden from the public eye
flashes in my memory, dancing on ambers as if suspended on wires.
My drunken leprechaun, you intoxicate me with your lies.
You only want to amuse yourself while I take a green wee.
by
Martin Braun
3/16/2020
Written by
Rajagopal Kaimal
Categories:
crazy, earth, environment, food, green, humorous, pain,
Coconuts
Coconut kernel is
good to eat;
healthy, too.
But a coconut
falling on
one's head isn't
healthy!
Written by
Deb Wilson
Categories:
funny, garden, sexy,
The Cougar With the Green Thumb
There once was a cougar named Rose
who kept the young men on their toes.
Working in her garden
they'd say "beg your pardon
I'll bet you could use a good hose!"
for Bawdy Limericks Two contest
sponsored by Roy Jerden
Written by
Danielle Deason
Categories:
humor,
My Green Sea Turtle
wonderful slick shell,
Brown and golden, the color of a shell.
That perfect shaped shell.
The shell of my turtle i know too well.
You are the greenest.
The most bravest.
And fastest (i think)
And maybe the smartest too.
You slick and slide,
And glide on by,
The water is what you love.
And you swim in the water, like a dove in the sky.
May 29,2013
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
A Cow With a Green Eyebrow
Did you ever see a cow with a green eyebrow
If you did, you'd best lay off the hooch
Hooch in moderation is acceptable
But if you see a pink elephant fly by your window
You have definitely over indulged
Another sign is when the things you say
Don't exactly match what you're thinking
Such as instead of saying, “You have nice boobs”
You actually say “bice noobs”
Has a nice ring to it as does “a great sackbide”
Hey I don't make this stuff up you know!
So getting back to that strange looking cow
If you haven't been drinking... and you see one
Run, don't walk, to the nearest shrink!
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Roger Horsch
Categories:
fun, funny,
Why Our Beer Is Now Green
There once was a man named O'Dean
Who wasn't too bright or too keen
He sneezed at the bar
Filling everyone's jar
And, that's why our beer is now green
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
children, humorous, mum,
Green Meany
She stood innocently picking her nose
Wiped green slime upon mummy’s pretty clothes
When her mum saw the mess
Even she will confess
That mum and daughter almost came to blows
Apologies for the subject .... but the challenge by John Wulf was to come up with a limerick to use with his picture
8th July 2015
Written by
Aiyah Torres
Categories:
funny, giggle, green,
Into the Grass
Fresh and green grass farm
Maiden walks freely at glance
Footstep in cow's dung
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
green, humor,
- Pickle Tickle -
The pickle is not exactly a vitamin bomb
Using modern equipment,
... is no longer needed
- comes in many forms
(Duracell batteries AA X 4)
... pink is popular
- I definitely think you can get it in green
16-02-2020
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Written by
Cona Adams
Categories:
anniversary, fun, giving, green, humor, money,
Money Chain
My parents’ repeated refrain -
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
In my dreams, a lush tree grew
with leaves of high numbers,
nothing under a twenty.
On our 25th Anniversary,
our church threw
a surprise party.
After the pot-luck dinner,
a gaily wrapped gift box
sported a top slit, waving
a bit of green. As we pulled,
a chain of bills roped up
through the slot, coiling
ribbons of green.
I had seen “Money Trees”
as special occasion gifts,
but for the one and only
time, we experienced the gift
of “Money in a Box.”
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
addiction, angst, blue, green, humorous, longing, memory,
Stoner's Lament
All those wee pot flakes
So carelessly whisked away...
Could use a joint now.
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
clothes, humor,
Dressed In Green
Old Paddy went to the pub dressed in green
The oddest sight the boys had ever seen
He wore thigh high hose
All covered in bows
Of cross dressing he was crowned this year's queen
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
clothes, humorous, mother daughter,
Green Sleeves - Bawdy Limerick Edited
Val’s daughter was picking her nose
Then wiping snot on Val’s new clothes
When Val finds sticky mess
Of green slime on her dress
The distress in her quickly rose
Green bogeys all over her sleeve
So slimy they make poor Val heave
To resolve this issue
Hands daughter a tissue
But bogeys on dress will not leave!
Val’s outfit that once was pristine
Is covered with snot of bright green
To compound Val’s distress
She cannot wash this dress
Dry cleaning should get her dress clean!
each stanza 8,8,6,6,8 checked with how many syllables
3/14/19
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
fantasy, fear, funny, hilarious,
Green Eyed Monster
I had some extra green paint
Oh what can I do to make her faint
So a dabbed a bit down below
When in the room she came for a blow
I yelled
Green-eyed monster is waiting to show
She fainted
Notes:
ok ok I saw so many poems with this topic, I said what the hell, why not!
Written by
Tom Quigley
Categories:
humor, ireland,
Galway Green
There once was a laddie from Galway
Lassies asked if he wore green, he said, “No way,”
I’m not trying to be smart,
It’s tattooed o'er my heart
But feel free to give me a pinch anyway!
3/27/16
For the “It’s All About Wearing the Green—The Limerick” Contest
Sponsor: Skat A
Written by
Alex Klugman
Categories:
death of a friend, funny, green, grief,
About the Deceased Say Either Good Or Nothing
About the deceased say either good or nothing,
Therefore at the funeral of the deceased chief,
The subordinates danced in full silence,
With happy faces, but slowly with grief!