Humorous and funny Halloween poems and/or funny poems about Halloween. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Halloween funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Halloween Poems.
Beware on Halloween a Witches brew
As into the night her frosty breath grew
Whispering you to her door
And played you a trick galore
You gave her your candy and off she flew
copyright protected 2019
funny, giggle, halloween, humor, humorous, october,
There once was an old witch whose pies,
Were unique in flavor and size.
She delighted her covens
When she opened her ovens,
With dozens of old crusty guys.
friendship, funny, halloween,
Sister, sister sitting there so sweet
Looking so virtuous, acting discreet.
Any male would eagerly bow at your feet
You have no idea of your allure, you're without conceit
Are you offering up a trick or a treat?
Only then will this Halloween finally be complete
Ready your answers to God when you do meet
For nuns of your stature are becoming obsolete!
For my girlfriend who dressed up as a sexy nun.
Dorian Petersen Potter
car, friend, friendship, funny, giggle, halloween, humorous,
I have a friend by the name of Tim,
He keeps in shape when frequents the gym.
His Kelly green Mustang he drove
And smack'd it into a cove.
The witches got him and ate one of his limbs!
halloween, humorous, political,
Folks held a contest to carve a pumpkin
The winner was this one of Donald Trumpkin
He claims he will make Halloween great again
When he makes a mess you know who to blame!
MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA – SHE NEEDS ALL THE HELP SHE CAN GET THIS ELECTION TIME.
Many thanks again to Mama Bear for sending me this funny picture which inspired the poem.
I hear the doorbell ring and I rush to answer it
The heavy wooden door creaks and squeaks and groans
My face is a ghostly white, you can only just see my eyes and mouth
The children scream loudly and drop their bags of sweets in fright
Terrified they flee down the path not pausing to look back
I grab their sweets and quickly slam the door
I dash to the bathroom
Twenty minutes is up and its time to wash off my face pack
Hee hee hee it works every year
5th October 2014
funny, giggle, humor, lust, passion, sexy, woman,
Jan's spouse said she's gilding the lilies
For treating herself to new frillies
All the neighbours got hot
When they saw what she bought
And that really gave Jan the willies!
autumn, fun, funny, halloween, holiday, humor, october,
There was a vampire named Vlad. 7
The Village all thought he was bad. 7
But the true story. 5
Just wasn't gory. 5
It turns out Vlad was just sad. 7
October 23. 2019
A Wookiee, the Wolfman and Jaws
Broke all of the Halloween laws
The shark got first bite
And was not contrite
His friends crawled away on their paws
*Written October 24, 2019.
For Tania’s Halloween-Inspired Limerick Contest
88558 - Howmanysyllables.com
candy, children, funny, halloween,
Face to face with the witches of Halloween
curse black jellybeans
Zombie doctors, unbeating hearts out of whack
raisins giving back
Mad scientists, green goggles, double helix
rejecting trail mix
Undead bug blasters, squishing out eight-legged lice
No to apple slice
String cheese does not bring
Face to face with the witches of Halloween...
halloween, humor, muse,
Charlie Brown got rocks
In his Halloween treat sack...
Snoopy made them friends
halloween, horror, humorous, word play,
A Crafty invitation
Cut him open, just go nuts
Reach inside and pull out his guts
Cut out his eyes, cut out his nose
Work your way down as you go
Use a little ingenuity
And cut him good for all to see
Don’t be afraid to make a mess
Join the pumpkin carving contest
halloween, humorous, parody,
On Halloween night, the walking dead clones
Shuffle around with mumbled grunts and groans
But have no fear
When they come near
They would rather die, than turn off their phones!
celebration, fantasy, halloween, holiday, humor, silly,
There once was a cool guy named Jack
Jack o’ lanterns attacked his back
Witch Cate blew straight through
She saved the famed wizard Jack Black
*The House with a Clock in Its Walls
On October 31st!
dress up is a curse
No costume to fit my chest size
However, I won a prize
My 'Elf' shirt was about to burst
adventure, funny, history, imagination, passion, halloween,
Batcave Batmobile Pole
Zapping Banging Powing Action
Happy Halloween All
Batman And Robin
Adam West Burt Ward
H aunting continues within the dilapidated old house on the hill
A long winding tree lined path may be followed to it's entrance
U ntil last season the house lay quiet and still
N ow one can see strange lights and hear faint voices coming from the manor
T omorrow is "All Hallow's Eve" and the town's children have decided to climb the hill
following the treacherous path
I nnocence and curiosity go hand and hand within the young
N o one was prepared for what waited for the children beyond the iron gates
G hostly ghouls and goblins anxious to take their place!
fantasy, children, funny, happiness, holiday, imagination, mother, nostalgia, people, seasons, upliftinghalloween,
Last Minute Halloween Costume
Toilet paper wraps;
Costs less to dress as mummy,
Mom thinks it’s funny!
When Frankenstein’s bride was created
The monster was surely elated
He asked her to dance
As he sought romance
To screams his poor ego deflated
Count Dracula surveyed the dance floor
He sought a mate sporting great pallor
“Morticia” stood out
He gave her a shout
But she brushed him off for the Centaur
Incredible Hulk had more luck though
A jolly green lady crooned, “Tango!”
Her gigantic Dad
Seemed perfectly glad
As he tossed green beans at the floor show
The evening sped by and all mated
No monster was sad or frustrated
The underworld king
Let his decree ring:
“May music play on unabated"
October 20, 2016
funny, halloween, hilarious, humor, humorous,
Count Dracula’s Love
Count Dracula’s love is blood—sweet and bright red,
And he wants to bite your neck while you’re in bed!
Seeking his next eternal bride on this All Hallows’ Eve,
His “undead” bite makes him happy and isn’t a pet peeve!
Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved,
October 25, 2015 (Clerihew)
Example for Limerick Contest
Ghosts that coast, embody their trustful host
Leave no posts, they possess the host to roast
These disembodied souls
Are angry deranged ghouls
Bode snatching demons, one’s life they engross.
Halloween’s treat where they accomplish feat
Children sweet, want only candy to eat
May we all watch our children
Having no bewildering
Safeguarding thus our Halloweens so neat!
Hello! I’m beautiful and very sweet
Please gimme your candy snickers to eat
I am an angel’s sibling
I only want a nibbling
I only want a sweet, not ghoul’s mistreat!!
autumn, children, funny, giggle, halloween, humor, urban,
Tiny goblins running 'round
Some in mother's dressing gown.
Witches cackle with delight
Was there ever such a night,
In this hallowed little town.
fantasy, funny, halloween,
Don’t try to come out
of the magic broom closet
on Halloween Night.
My costume makes me look fat
And I lost my witches hat
I can’t find my broom
It’s not in the room
Now where’s my lucky black cat
An unfortunate man named Keith
Mislaid his set of false teeth
Tried apple bobbing
His jaw was throbbing
Poor guy can’t get no relief
I love eating pumpkin pie
My tum is big its no lie
I pick up my spoon
Then I start to swoon
Feel sick and I want to die
11th October 2014
halloween, humorous, october,
When the Autumn sun warms dying stalks
Of corn with unkempt tassel locks.
The earth turns from green to brown,
Candy corn comes to town.
A cackling witch stokes the ember
Smoky spirits escape the timber.
The leaves in trees turn an amber hue,
Candy Corn, I yearn for you.
Across my path a shadow creeps,
Into day, nighttime seeps.
My dreams turn to sugary storms.
Candy corn, keep me warm.
Before I die and decompose,
Let me warm by your coals.
Orange, white, yellow form,
The wonderment of Candy corn.