Funny Poems About Halloween or Halloween Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Halloween poems and/or funny poems about Halloween. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Halloween funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Halloween Poems.

Poem Details | by Jeanne McGee |
Categories: funny, halloween,

Beware



            Beware     on Halloween             a Witches brew
        As into the night her frosty breath               grew
            Whispering you to her door
         And played you a trick galore
                 You gave her your candy and off                      she flew






10-17-2019
copyright protected 2019 
Jeanne McGee


Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: funny, giggle, halloween, humor, humorous, october,

Witch Bakery

There once was an old witch whose pies,
Were unique in flavor and size.
She delighted her covens
When she opened her ovens,
With dozens of old crusty guys.

Poem Details | by Cecilia Macfarlane |
Categories: friendship, funny, halloween,

Sexy Nun

Sister, sister sitting there so sweet
Looking so virtuous, acting discreet.
Any male would eagerly bow at your feet
You have no idea of your allure, you're without conceit
Are you offering up a trick or a treat?
Only then will this Halloween finally be complete
Ready your answers to God when you do meet
For nuns of your stature are becoming obsolete!


For my girlfriend who dressed up as a sexy nun.

Poem Details | by Dorian Petersen Potter |
Categories: car, friend, friendship, funny, giggle, halloween, humorous,

Tim And His Kelly Green Mustang


I have a friend by the name of Tim, He keeps in shape when frequents the gym. His Kelly green Mustang he drove And smack'd it into a cove. The witches got him and ate one of his limbs! Dorian Petersen aka ladydp2000 copyright@2014 October,5,2014


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: halloween, humorous, political,

TRUMPKIN PUMPKIN

Folks held a contest to carve a pumpkin The winner was this one of Donald Trumpkin He claims he will make Halloween great again When he makes a mess you know who to blame! MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA – SHE NEEDS ALL THE HELP SHE CAN GET THIS ELECTION TIME. Many thanks again to Mama Bear for sending me this funny picture which inspired the poem. 10~22~16

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: halloween, humorous,

OH HOW I LOVE HALLOWEEN - FOR GHOST CONTEST

I hear the doorbell ring and I rush to answer it The heavy wooden door creaks and squeaks and groans My face is a ghostly white, you can only just see my eyes and mouth The children scream loudly and drop their bags of sweets in fright Terrified they flee down the path not pausing to look back I grab their sweets and quickly slam the door I dash to the bathroom Twenty minutes is up and its time to wash off my face pack Hee hee hee it works every year 5th October 2014

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: funny, giggle, humor, lust, passion, sexy, woman,

Jan's Halloween Dream

Jan's spouse said she's gilding the lilies
For treating herself to new frillies
All the neighbours got hot
When they saw what she bought
And that really gave Jan the willies!

Poem Details | by Paige Kostyniuk |
Categories: autumn, fun, funny, halloween, holiday, humor, october,

Vlad the Vampire

There was a vampire named Vlad. 7
The Village all thought he was bad. 7
But the true story. 5
Just wasn't gory. 5
It turns out Vlad was just sad. 7

October 23. 2019



Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: humor,

Halloween Law

A Wookiee, the Wolfman and Jaws
Broke all of the Halloween laws
The shark got first bite
And was not contrite
His friends crawled away on their paws




*Written October 24, 2019.
For Tania’s Halloween-Inspired Limerick Contest
88558 - Howmanysyllables.com

Poem Details | by Michelle Faulkner |
Categories: candy, children, funny, halloween,

The Witches of Halloween

Face to face with the witches of Halloween
curse black jellybeans

Zombie doctors, unbeating hearts out of whack
raisins giving back

Mad scientists, green goggles, double helix
rejecting trail mix

Undead bug blasters, squishing out eight-legged lice
No to apple slice

String cheese does not bring
Candy's following
Face to face with the witches of Halloween...

10/30/18


Poem Details | by Quoth TheRaven |
Categories: halloween, humor, muse,

Charlie Brown's luck

Charlie Brown got rocks
In his Halloween treat sack...
Snoopy made them friends

Poem Details | by Edward Schmitz |
Categories: halloween, horror, humorous, word play,

A crafty invitation

A Crafty invitation Cut him open, just go nuts Reach inside and pull out his guts Cut out his eyes, cut out his nose Work your way down as you go Use a little ingenuity And cut him good for all to see Don’t be afraid to make a mess Join the pumpkin carving contest

Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: halloween, humorous, parody,

Walking Dead On Halloween

On Halloween night, the walking dead clones
Shuffle around with mumbled grunts and groans
But have no fear
When they come near
They would rather die, than turn off their phones!

Poem Details | by Linda Fowler |
Categories: celebration, fantasy, halloween, holiday, humor, silly,

Now You Know Jack

There once was a cool guy named Jack
Jack o’ lanterns attacked his back 
	Witch Cate blew straight through
	Umbrella askew
She saved the famed wizard Jack Black

*The House with a Clock in Its Walls

Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: funny,

HALLOWEEN 'ELF'

HALLOWEEN 'ELF'

On October 31st!
dress up is a curse
No costume to fit my chest size
However,  I won a prize
My 'Elf' shirt was about to burst

       ~SKAT~


Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: adventure, funny, history, imagination, passion, halloween,

Na Na Na Na Na Na Batman { Cinquain }

                                                     Batman
                                              Cape crusader
                                         Batcave Batmobile Pole
                                  Zapping Banging Powing Action
                                                 BruceWayne











Happy Halloween All
Boooooooo       LOL




         Tribute To
Batman And  Robin
  Adam West  Burt Ward

Poem Details | by Sharon Ruebel |
Categories: giggle, halloween,

Boo


    H aunting continues within the dilapidated old house on the hill

    A  long winding tree lined path may be followed to it's entrance

    U ntil last season the house lay quiet and still

    N ow one can see strange lights and hear faint voices coming from the manor

    T omorrow is "All Hallow's Eve" and the town's children have decided to climb the hill
       following the treacherous path

    I  nnocence and curiosity go hand and hand within the young

    N o one was prepared for what waited for the children beyond the iron gates

    G hostly ghouls and goblins anxious to take their place!



    Boo

Poem Details | by Marie Harrison |
Categories: fantasy, children, funny, happiness, holiday, imagination, mother, nostalgia, people, seasons, upliftinghalloween,

Last Minute Halloween Costume

Last Minute Halloween Costume
Toilet paper wraps;
Costs less to dress as mummy,
Mom thinks it’s funny!

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: halloween, humorous,

Monster Mash

When Frankenstein’s bride was created
The monster was surely elated
He asked her to dance
As he sought romance
To screams his poor ego deflated

Count Dracula surveyed the dance floor
He sought a mate sporting great pallor
“Morticia” stood out
He gave her a shout
But she brushed him off for the Centaur

Incredible Hulk had more luck though
A jolly green lady crooned, “Tango!”
Her gigantic Dad 
Seemed perfectly glad
As he tossed green beans at the floor show

The evening sped by and all mated
No monster was sad or frustrated
The underworld king
Let his decree ring:
“May music play on unabated"



October 20, 2016

Poem Details | by Gary Bateman |
Categories: funny, halloween, hilarious, humor, humorous,

Count Dracula's Love

Count Dracula’s Love

Count Dracula’s love is blood—sweet and bright red, 
And he wants to bite your neck while you’re in bed!
Seeking his next eternal bride on this All Hallows’ Eve,
His “undead” bite makes him happy and isn’t a pet peeve!

Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved,
October 25, 2015 (Clerihew)

Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: funny, lovecandy,

"My Triple Halloween Limerick"

Example for Limerick Contest 

Ghosts that coast, embody their trustful host
Leave no posts,  they possess the host to roast
   These disembodied souls
   Are angry deranged ghouls 
Bode snatching demons, one’s life they engross.

Halloween’s treat where they accomplish feat
Children sweet, want only candy to eat
   May we all watch our children 
   Having no bewildering
Safeguarding thus our Halloweens so neat!

Hello! I’m beautiful and very sweet
Please gimme your candy snickers to eat
   I am an angel’s sibling 
   I only want a nibbling 
I only want a sweet, not ghoul’s mistreat!!

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: autumn, children, funny, giggle, halloween, humor, urban,

Halloween

Tiny goblins running 'round
Some in mother's dressing gown.
Witches cackle with delight
Was there ever such a night,
In this hallowed little town.

Poem Details | by Brittany Reynolds |
Categories: fantasy, funny, halloween,

The Secret Witch

Don’t try to come out 
of the magic broom closet 
on Halloween Night.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: halloween, humorous,

HALLOWEEN HOWLERS

My costume makes me look fat And I lost my witches hat I can’t find my broom It’s not in the room Now where’s my lucky black cat An unfortunate man named Keith Mislaid his set of false teeth Tried apple bobbing His jaw was throbbing Poor guy can’t get no relief I love eating pumpkin pie My tum is big its no lie I pick up my spoon Then I start to swoon Feel sick and I want to die Jan Allison 11th October 2014

Poem Details | by Thaddeus Tarpey |
Categories: halloween, humorous, october,

Candy Corn

When the Autumn sun warms dying stalks
Of corn with unkempt tassel locks.
The earth turns from green to brown,
Candy corn comes to town.

A cackling witch stokes the ember
Smoky spirits escape the timber.
The leaves in trees turn an amber hue,
Candy Corn, I yearn for you.

Across my path a shadow creeps,
Into day, nighttime seeps.
My dreams turn to sugary storms.
Candy corn, keep me warm.

Before I die and decompose,
Let me warm by your coals.
Orange, white, yellow form,
The wonderment of Candy corn.