Humorous and funny Hate poems and/or funny poems about Hate. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Hate funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, love,
I Love To Hate You
Just one look at you
Tempting me, teasing me, tormenting me
I hate the feelings you evoke
Greed
Desire
Lust
Just want to hold you, devour you
I don’t want to see you go
But I can never resist the last chocolate in the box!
9th March 2015
Contest – Love or Hate – Pick a subject - Shadow Hamilton
I chose Love as my theme
~awarded 1st place~
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
hate, humor, love, relationship, today, together
Today
Today,
I love you.
Today,
I hate you.
This week,
I love you,
This week,
I hate you.
Can this go on,
it has for years.
This love hate relationship,
is now over.
I am kicking you to the curb,
to the trash can you must go.
Did you figure me out,
I am your bathroom scale.
Hooray~you are gone.
Written by
Karam Misra
Categories:
confusion, funny, introspection, life, hate, hate
No Choice!
I hate it when I'm
told to do
This damn thing
or that.
And I hate it
When I don't do it
And am made to
feel a rat!
So what is it that
I hate much more
To do or not to do?
The former is within myself
The latter within me, too!
Written by
Dan Keir
Categories:
adventure, courage, freedom, funny, hate, history
Alien-Nation
One more alien... an extra terrestrial. Bloody foreigners.
Written by
Julia Romano
Categories:
funny, hate,
You Smell Like a Dirty Vag
I hate you so much
You smell like a dirty vag,
Day old fish and all
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
animal, food, hate, humor, humorous, hyperbole
Brussels Sprouts
Me, the contrarian,
hardcore vegetarian,
Would rather eat wombat snouts
than brussels sprouts.
Written by
Robert A. Dufresne
Categories:
funny, me, hate, me,
Things That Bug Me About You
My goodness, how rude can one get?
I haven’t even finished speaking yet.
Your uncaring interruption,
has ruined my thought construction.
Now I have to put my thoughts on the shelf.
Couldn’t you see I was talking to myself ?!
And when I ask you to look for my keys,
Don’t make me beg on my knees.
I hate it when you laugh to beat the band,
Just because you see them in my hand!
And last week when I asked you to find my phone,
Your unkind remark cut me to the bone.
You said “you are losing your mind I fear.,
What’s that thing on your ear?”
It just isn’t nice, no matter how true it rings,
Accusing me of always losing things!
I just hate that quirk about you!!
Hey,.. you seen my other shoe?
Written by
Jackson Labaugh
Categories:
beautiful, hate, humor, metaphor, political, sweet
Haiku For Alphabet Soup
My alphabet soup,
it is getting very cold,
my microwave broke.
Written by
Iris E. Sankey- Lewis
Categories:
appreciation, art, beauty, culture, discrimination, humorous
They Hate the Color Black
They, the blind
Heavy laden with mystery of denial
Empty of eclectic views
Yearns for Island of blinding white light.
They hate the color black
Every woman's sexy black dress
Every man's spotless black tuxedo
Every child's mem'ry of a clean blackboard.
They hate the color black
Black American history, mighty as Montenegro
Bleach cannot blot out its strength.
They hate the color black
Face the Sun!
Hold a conversation on equatorial black
Black rain clouds cleansing, hydrating, renewing.
They hate the color black
Black, the night, showing starlight
Black ink on sheets of white
Black the beginning and end of life -
They hate the color black.
*
Written by
Monty Newman
Categories:
funny
I Hate Shopping
I hate shopping
but when I go shopping
I know what I’m looking for
I go to the right store
I go to the right floor
I grab it
they bag it
and I am out the door
Shopping is an awful chore
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, school,
Teachers Hate Cheaters
An English teacher named Rosie
Thought one of her pupils was dozy
He’d cribbed off the web
From a man in Zagreb
The language he’d used was too prosy!
In false glory he’d tried to bask
So Rosie she took him to task
She said it’s not neat
if you try and cheat -
when needing some help you should ask!
NB cheaters is an anagram of teachers!
Sadly this is based (with some poetic licence about Zagreb) on a true event in the school I worked at. The english teacher was fully aware of the capabilities of the student and it was blatantly obvious the work was not his and it was merely copied and printed off the internet ... he failed to get a mark
2/2/18
Written by
Deborah Burch
Categories:
funny, hate,
Ode To Cats
Come 'ere kitty eyes so green
Tell me why you're so dang mean
Climbin' curtins and the walls
Midnight rampage through the halls
Chasin' air but never rats
You should know I hate cats!
9/24/2005~db©deborah burch
*just a note: i dont hate cats...(as long as they realize and behave as dogs)...any i have been owned by realize this and quickly learn to fetch, come, sit, no, and master the english language...as such....this kitten(now a cat) is my son's: Oliver, appropriatly named, who is the real-life version of "Garfield" in every possible way...and dearly loved :)
big hugs~deb
*update: 4.4.2021...Oliver left for the rainbow bridge...
??
Written by
Ananya Acharya
Categories:
books, class, conflict, hate, humor, math
My Dear Subjects
Omg! What to write
Science, math wanna fight
You are world to many
But in you I am fazy
Science was favorite
"Was" not "is"
I don't know why
Science, math wanna fight
Welcome math
Trap of formulas
Can't remember even one
Omg! I wrote so much
Sorry my dear subjects
We cannot live together
The day will come
When I'll be in 11
We'll leave each other
I'll remember 2018
Our break-up year.
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny,
After Taxes - Pet Hate
After taxes, our money's all spent.
We can't save for our own retirement.
I've got a big axe
to grind! Income tax
isn't paid by our own president!
Written by
Eric Boddie
Categories:
anger, betrayal, corruption, funny, hate, horror
Lessons Learnt In Life
"Lessons Learnt in Life"
5. Never trust anyone
She
Saw me
Asked for fee
Oh no, baby
I get it for free
But lust gives new degrees
Oh yes, she was so sexy
She said, "With no hands, it's messy"
That turned me on, so I guess you see
The tempting dilemma it came to be
I told her her river would become sea
She winked, walked away, that's fantasy
No latex held, seduced by three
In the morning, destiny
Now dictates burning pee
Then I had to flee
So urgently
Now agree
Boldly
Gee
I had to try this but please don't think this is true....knock on wood....lol
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
conflict, corruption, evil, feelings, hate, humor
Shy
I'm not shy
I just think
Most people
Simply stink.
Written by
Litan Dey
Categories:
fun, funny, girl, hate, pollution,
Boring Joke
I was trying to tell you something
For a long time
The word that will bore you
Maybe you got mad at me
Embarrassment
Sweating
Smiling lips
Your true and innocent heart stops me
The word is bothering me
I can not sleep
Today I must say this
Please! do not mind
I am saying this from my core feelings
Today it is very cold!
Do not go outside!
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
hate, humor, irony, nursery rhyme, sick, silly
Sports
Sports, sports,
I love sports
About as much
As venereal warts.
Written by
Eve Roper
Categories:
games, humor,
Hate Thunder
Oh My,
Rain, lightning and thunder
It just made me wonder
Whose winning the game that thunders
I hide in my room in blunder because of the thunder
Wondering when it’s going to stop thundering
I am a coward of the thunder
So I hunger for the thunder to slumber
I do so hate thunder
By: Eve Roper
9-23-2014
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
funny,
What I Hate Most About Wal-Mart
What I hate Most About Wal-Mart
By Elton Camp
Wal-Mart has a severely limited selection
Its cleanliness doesn’t meet my expectation
The shopping carts are almost always unclean
If you shop there, you will know what I mean
Its restroom are filthy a big part of the time
And the pharmacy hours are nearly a crime
The garden shop plants tend to be all dried out
Auto repair doesn’t know what tires are about
The stock of ordinary items is very often depleted
And they don’t carry many things that are needed
But what I so detest because there is simply no excuse
With many employees, only two checkouts are in use
Written by
Declan Molloy
Categories:
funny, writing,
I Hate Poetry
I Hate Poetry
I really dislike poetry
certainly and honestly do
deliberate obscurantism
damn words, don't you know
whinging exultations
agonising extremes
low language of life
love and loss themes
free verse especially
a cop out I'd suspect
debility of mind
the dearth of intellect
why even bother
you depressive waste of time
we have all loved or lost
so cease your spurious crying
speak thee in happy note
flowers and flutter bys
warming sun on warming limbs
smiles and morning skies
Written by
Nicholas Webb
Categories:
funny, happiness, me, hate, me,
Contradictions, the Bane of My Existence
I want fame and humility
I want war and I want peace
I want God and I want freedom
I want freedom and enslavment
I want to settle down, and keep moving
I sprint home and crawl to work
I'll eat my fill and then I'll starve
I will kill and I will resurrect
Give me extravagance and give me banality
entertain me and bore me
LOVE ME AND HATE ME
LOVE ME AND HATE ME
so I will show you my lithe desires, absurdly ensuring I will NEVER be at peace
open your mouth and laugh with me
laugh
Written by
Anoucheka Gangabissoon
Categories:
funny, hate, life, love,
Blatant Irony
She exists for a man only
He achieved what a man can
That of trying a trick abstractly
She easily got henned in hand!
Decisions are tough, exclaimed she aloud
Life in love is not easy
He, a rose in hand, proud
Rose up to a plane above
She, a tender one with exalt
Thought of love as sincere admiration
Found out the abrupt truth, abomination!
Her only precious asset his inspiration
Her own body, as sexy asphalt!
Written by
Michelle Born
Categories:
care, hate, humor, irony, jealousy, success
The Reality
Tread lightly and always be aware
That there will always be jealousy out there,
Their whole world evolves around what they want and need
By criticizing others for their likes and not just greed,
To many haters are jealous of others success
So they are not happy and then get depressed,
Because they are lazy and don't want to work
They are to blame so they acted like jerks.
Written By: Unique Poetry 2015
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
anger, dog, humorous,
My Genuine 'Pet Hate'
A pet hate that sure makes me heave -
dog faeces some pet owners leave
I could write a thesis
on smelly dog faeces ...
it’s easy enough to retrieve!
When Fido’s tail begins to wag
please carry a poop scoop or bag
You need to bend down
to pick up its ‘brown’ ...
clean pavements, I don’t need to nag!
It really gets me going Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw
5/2/19