Funny Poems About Hate or Hate Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Hate poems and/or funny poems about Hate. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Hate funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Hate Poems.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, love,

I Love To Hate You

Just one look at you Tempting me, teasing me, tormenting me I hate the feelings you evoke Greed Desire Lust Just want to hold you, devour you I don’t want to see you go But I can never resist the last chocolate in the box! 9th March 2015 Contest – Love or Hate – Pick a subject - Shadow Hamilton I chose Love as my theme ~awarded 1st place~

Poem Details | by Paula Goldsmith |
Categories: hate, humor, love, relationship, today, together, uplifting,


I love you.
I hate you.
This week,
I love you,
This week,
I hate you.
Can this go on,
it has for years.
This love hate relationship,
is now over.
I am kicking you to the curb,
to the trash can you must go.
Did you figure me out,
I am your bathroom scale.
Hooray~you are gone.

Poem Details | by Karam Misra |
Categories: confusion, funny, introspection, life, hate, hate,

No Choice!

I hate it when I'm
       told to do
This damn thing
       or that.

And I hate it
When I don't do it
And am made to
      feel a rat!

So what is it that
      I hate much more
To do or not to do?

The former is within myself
      The latter within me, too!

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, courage, freedom, funny, hate, history, home, hope, humorous, journey, life, lonely, lost, patriotic, peace, people, places, political, space, travel, visionary,


One more alien... an extra terrestrial. Bloody foreigners.

Poem Details | by Julia Romano |
Categories: funny, hate,

You Smell Like a Dirty Vag

I hate you so much
You smell like a dirty vag, 
Day old fish and all

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angst, autumn, business, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, fear, grief, growing up, happiness, happy, hate, health, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, love, on work and working, pain, parody, people, relationship, retirement, sad, satire, school, social, stress, success, sympathy, time, work,

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: animal, food, hate, humor, humorous, hyperbole, satire,

Brussels Sprouts

Me, the contrarian, 
	hardcore vegetarian,
Would rather eat wombat snouts
	than brussels sprouts.

Poem Details | by Anthony Scandrick Ii |
Categories: angel, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, daughter, death, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, faith, fear, forgiveness, freedom, friendship, girlfriend, grief, happiness, hate, heaven, hope, humorous, imagination, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, passion, peace, relationship, romance, romantic, sorrow, sorry, stress, sympathy, uplifting, heart, hate, hate, heart,

Never Take Hate Outside

When you're hurt inside,
And there's no where to hide,
And there's no one on your side,
And it's killing your pride,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is chocking,
The heavy words never spoken,
The things that hurt you inside,
When love has died,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is gone,
From being alone,
And it beats a solemn tone,

When you're cold inside,
It's only a short ride,
Never take hate outside

Poem Details | by Robert A. Dufresne |
Categories: funny, me, hate, me,

Things That Bug Me About You

My goodness, how rude can one get?
I haven’t even finished speaking yet.
Your uncaring interruption,
has ruined my thought construction.
Now I have to put my thoughts on the shelf.
Couldn’t you see I was talking to myself ?!

And when I ask you to look for my keys,
Don’t make me beg on my knees.
I hate it when you laugh to beat the band,
Just because you see them in my hand!

And last week when I asked you to find my phone,
Your unkind remark cut me to the bone.
You said “you are losing your mind I fear.,
What’s that thing on your ear?”

It just isn’t nice, no matter how true it rings,
Accusing me of always losing things!
I just hate that quirk about you!!
Hey,.. you seen my other shoe?

Poem Details | by Jackson Labaugh |
Categories: beautiful, hate, humor, metaphor, political, sweet, world war i,

Haiku For Alphabet Soup

My alphabet soup,
it is getting very cold,
my microwave broke.

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, allegory, angst, animal, child, childhood, confusion, courage, death, dream, fear, funny, grief, hate, hope, humorous, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, memory, metaphor, mystery, nature, nostalgia, parody, passion, people, pets, philosophy, recovery from..., sad, satire, sorrow, spiritual, stress, success,

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”

Poem Details | by Iris E. S-Lewis |
Categories: appreciation, art, beauty, culture, discrimination, humorous, life,

They Hate the Color Black

They, the blind
Heavy laden with mystery of denial
Empty of eclectic views
Yearns for Island of blinding white light.

They hate the color black
Every woman's sexy black dress
Every man's spotless black tuxedo
Every child's mem'ry of a clean blackboard. 

They hate the color black
Black American history, mighty as Montenegro 
Bleach cannot blot out its strength.

They hate the color black
Face the Sun!
Hold a conversation on equatorial black
Black rain clouds cleansing, hydrating, renewing.

They hate the color black
Black, the night, showing starlight
Black ink on sheets of white
Black the beginning and end of life -
They hate the color black.


Poem Details | by Monty Newman |
Categories: funny

I Hate Shopping

I hate shopping 
but when I go shopping
I know what I’m looking for
I go to the right store
I go to the right floor
I grab it 
they bag it
and I am out the door
Shopping is an awful chore

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, school,

Teachers Hate Cheaters

An English teacher named Rosie Thought one of her pupils was dozy He’d cribbed off the web From a man in Zagreb The language he’d used was too prosy! In false glory he’d tried to bask So Rosie she took him to task She said it’s not neat if you try and cheat - when needing some help you should ask! NB cheaters is an anagram of teachers! Sadly this is based (with some poetic licence about Zagreb) on a true event in the school I worked at. The english teacher was fully aware of the capabilities of the student and it was blatantly obvious the work was not his and it was merely copied and printed off the internet ... he failed to get a mark 2/2/18

Poem Details | by Deborah Burch |
Categories: funny, hate,

Ode To Cats

Come 'ere kitty eyes so green
Tell me why you're so dang mean
Climbin' curtins and the walls
Midnight rampage through the halls
Chasin' air but never rats
You should know I hate cats!

9/24/2005~db©deborah burch

*just a note: i dont hate cats...(as long as they realize and behave as dogs)...any i have been owned by realize this and quickly learn to fetch, come, sit, no, and master the english such....this kitten(now a cat) is my son's: Oliver, appropriatly named, who is the real-life version of "Garfield" in every possible way...and dearly loved :)
big hugs~deb
*update: 4.4.2021...Oliver left for the rainbow bridge...

Poem Details | by Ananya Acharya |
Categories: books, class, conflict, hate, humor, math, science,

My Dear Subjects

Omg! What to write
Science, math wanna fight
You are world to many
But in you I am fazy
Science was favorite
"Was" not "is"
I don't know why
Science, math wanna fight
Welcome math
Trap of formulas
Can't remember even one
Omg! I wrote so much
Sorry my dear subjects
We cannot live together
The day will come
When I'll be in 11
We'll leave each other
I'll remember 2018
Our break-up year.

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

After Taxes - Pet Hate

After taxes, our money's all spent.
We can't save for our own retirement.
I've got a big axe
to grind! Income tax
isn't paid by our own president!

Poem Details | by Eric Boddie |
Categories: anger, betrayal, corruption, funny, hate, horror, lust,

Lessons Learnt In Life

"Lessons Learnt in Life"
5.  Never trust anyone

Saw me
Asked for fee
Oh no, baby
I get it for free
But lust gives new degrees
Oh yes, she was so sexy
She said, "With no hands, it's messy"
That turned me on, so I guess you see
The tempting dilemma it came to be
I told her her river would become sea
She winked, walked away, that's fantasy
No latex held, seduced by three
In the morning, destiny
Now dictates burning pee
Then I had to flee
So urgently
Now agree

I had to try this but please don't think this is true....knock on

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: conflict, corruption, evil, feelings, hate, humor, rude,


I'm not shy
I just think
Most people
Simply stink.

Poem Details | by Litan Dey |
Categories: fun, funny, girl, hate, pollution,

Boring Joke

I was trying to tell you something
For a long time
The word that will bore you
Maybe you got mad at me
Smiling lips
Your true and innocent heart stops me
The word is bothering me
I can not sleep
Today I must say this
Please! do not mind
I am saying this from my core feelings 
Today it is very cold!
Do not go outside!

Poem Details | by Eve Roper |
Categories: games, humor,

Hate Thunder

Oh My,
Rain, lightning and thunder
 It just made me wonder 
Whose winning the game that thunders
I hide in my room in blunder because of the thunder
Wondering when it’s going to stop thundering
I am a coward of the thunder 
So I hunger for the thunder to slumber
I do so hate thunder

 By: Eve Roper

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: hate, humor, irony, nursery rhyme, sick, silly, sports,


Sports, sports, 
I love sports
About as much
As venereal warts.

Poem Details | by Declan Molloy |
Categories: funny, writing,

I Hate Poetry

I Hate Poetry

I really dislike poetry
certainly and honestly do
deliberate obscurantism
damn words, don't you know 

whinging exultations
agonising extremes
low language of life
love and loss themes

free verse especially
a cop out I'd suspect
debility of mind
the dearth of intellect

why even bother
you depressive waste of time
we have all loved or lost
so cease your spurious crying

speak thee in happy note
flowers and flutter bys
warming sun on warming limbs
smiles and morning skies

Poem Details | by Elton Camp |
Categories: funny,

What I Hate Most About Wal-Mart

What I hate Most About Wal-Mart

By Elton Camp

Wal-Mart has a severely limited selection
Its cleanliness doesn’t meet my expectation

The shopping carts are almost always unclean
If you shop there, you will know what I mean

Its restroom are filthy a big part of the time
And the pharmacy hours are nearly a crime

The garden shop plants tend to be all dried out
Auto repair doesn’t know what tires are about

The stock of ordinary items is very often depleted
And they don’t carry many things that are needed

But what I so detest because there is simply no excuse
With many employees, only two checkouts are in use

Poem Details | by Nicholas Webb |
Categories: funny, happiness, me, hate, me,

Contradictions, the Bane of My Existence

I want fame and humility I want war and I want peace I want God and I want freedom I want freedom and enslavment I want to settle down, and keep moving I sprint home and crawl to work I'll eat my fill and then I'll starve I will kill and I will resurrect Give me extravagance and give me banality entertain me and bore me LOVE ME AND HATE ME LOVE ME AND HATE ME so I will show you my lithe desires, absurdly ensuring I will NEVER be at peace open your mouth and laugh with me laugh