Funny Poems About Health or Health Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Health poems and/or funny poems about Health. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Health funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Health Poems.

Poem Details | by Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories: allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: father daughter, health, humorous,

Sugar Daddy - Two Lenses

Childhood Days I’d heap spoonfuls of sugar in my tea I wouldn’t drink it without it you see That sweet syrupy drink Wasn’t poured down the sink Every single drop was supped up by me! Adulthood Dad’s diabetes made me think - Did I need to sweeten my drink So I cut sugar out And I don’t have a doubt I’m slimmer and I’m in the pink Contest: Two Lenses Sponsor Sara Kendrick 02~20~16

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: health, humorous,

Don'T Panic, Don'T Panic

For loo rolls some shoppers are vying and people are seen panic buying The shelves are now empty When once there was plenty Stockpiling - there is no denying! I panic when I need the loo - I’m hoping its wee wee not pooh Cos I’m sat on the seat and we’re down to one sheet Perhaps torn newspapers will do! 3/10/20

Poem Details | by Flippant She-Creature |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, lost love, love, mother, parody, romance, satire, sorry,

Shall I Compare Thee To Your Mother's ****

Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent

Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.

But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.

Poem Details | by Joanna Davis |
Categories: culture, encouraging, family, food, funny, happiness, health, inspirational, life, people, uplifting,

Soul Food

Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make

Chollah, chapatti, 
Cinnamon bun.
These global delights,
make eating such fun.

Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon; 
Or Danish roast ham.

Add a fresh fruit salad,
Some sparkling wine,
A candle, red roses and  
you’re ready to dine.

Joanna Davis

Poem Details | by Mark Goodson |
Categories: funny, health, life, hair,

The Wisdom of Wine and Gin

My hair has receded and my belly grown fat
There’s hair growing in my ears and I don’t like that
My joints ache all the day and I have troubles with peeing
I’m tired all the time and have glasses for seeing
Gravity has taken over putting life in a downward spin
No wonder I enjoy drinking a little wine and gin

Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: funny, happiness, health, life, loss

Slams Destroyed Her Head

Slams Destroyed Her Head

She was slammed by slam poetry, boo hoo!
Some folks wondered about the hullabaloo.
When bombarded with dread,
Sad thoughts destroyed her head.
Now, she thinks she’s a blithering cuckoo!

© July 17, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: health, humorous,

Why Medicare Is Goin' Bust

A feller went to the doctor's office 'cause he wasn't feelin' well.
The doctor said, "You ain't lookin' all that swell, this I can tell!"

He had a banana stuck in his right ear and a celery stalk in his left!
From his nose dangled a pair of carrots thus leavin' him quite bereft!

The doc without further examination relieved him from his plight,
Sayin', "You gotta change yer eatin' habits!  You're not eatin' right!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by Alex Frankel |
Categories: health, humor, humorous, weather,

Meteorological Migraine

There’s rain in my brain,
A pitter patter on the old grey matter,
Cats and dogs in the cerebral cogs,
A shower dampening my mental power.
There’s precipitation in my imagination,
A cloud collision in my vision,
A deluge in my centrifuge,
A tidal surge has overwhelmed my optimistic urge,
A tsunami is rampaging through my spiritual harmony,
A lighting strobe just struck my frontal lobe.
There’s a vortex in my cortex,
An eddy in my heady,
A blizzard in my gizzard,
Hail in my vapour trail,
Sleet on my feet,
Snow on my big toe
Making me feel low.

I’ll pop a pill and rest my head
Upon a bed of feather
And when I wake I’m hoping
For bright eyes and better weather.

Poem Details | by William Robinson |
Categories: funny, health, parody,

True Proverb

Early to drink,   
And early to smoke
Will leave a man shaking,
Coughing, and broke.

Poem Details | by Paul Curtis |
Categories: funny, health

Doctor In Motion

“Doctor I have chronic diarrhoea
And I think it’s hereditary”
“Nonsense man I can assure you
Diarrhoea is not hereditary,
And no matter how chronic it is
It’s not as bad as it seems”
“But doctor I know it’s hereditary
Because it’s in my jeans”

Poem Details | by Jim Bates |
Categories: funny, health, humorous,

Fat Bottomed Girls

Fat Bottomed Girls
I've got a bony backside And it hurts when I sit down That's why my mood it fluctuates From black to dirty brown So I try sitting at an angle And try not to make a fuss And grimace as I shuffle On my gluteus maximus So when Freddie Mercury sings his song About 'Fat Bottomed Girls' I feel the need to don a wig With tumbling, twinkling curls And pretend that I am one of them You is no joke, To be stuck inside the body Of this 'skinny bottomed bloke'.

Poem Details | by Michelo Mweetwa |
Categories: dream, drink, funny, health, imagination, introspection,

If Drinking Was

I sip and think
I slip and sink
If drinking was building, I would have owned a pyramid
I sip and pee
I sleep at three
If drinking was studying, I would have owned a Phd

Poem Details | by Tom Bell |
Categories: funny, happiness, health, life, philosophy, satire,

Sweatin' the Small Stuff

Don't sweat the small stuff, they say...
I see it, a different way....
Small problems easily become big,
Make you pull your hair out,
So you gotta' wear a wig!

Poem Details | by Gerald Dillenbeck |
Categories: culture, health, humor,

Under the Influence

why do alcohol-baptized Christians
develop addictions to oil-and-gas extractive economics?

I don't know, dear.
Perhaps the same reason that THC agnostics
sprout SierraClub cooperative political memberships?

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: age, health, humor,

Your Age Described

Your age may best be described
                              ~ by the type of pills you are prescribed

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: body, health, humorous,

Now I Can Use the Can

I’m urgently needing to wee But ordered to withhold my pee I stand with legs crossed And feel fit to 'bost' I wonder when they will call me The doc said I need a full bladder I’m bursting to go, I get madder When I’ve had my scan I dash to the can I couldn’t have been any gladder! Written after my experience on Friday when i had to have 2 scans 03/29/20

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: health, humorous,

Dental Drama

My dentist’s such a sadistic guy
No injection, I emit a cry
Open mouthed at his bill
Pain is much worse until
Quite slyly I knee him in his fly!


Poem Details | by Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories: health, humor, me,

Ice Saccades

   when the wallpaper walks
   and the floor
   pulls the wind out of you

*saccades: a rapid movement of the eye between fixation points
  (impaired, as with concussions, causes vertigo, anxiety, fatigue)

Poem Details | by Anais Vionet |
Categories: health, humor, humorous, irony, patriotic, political, teen,

Simply Gone - the Virus

Wow, it turns out Trump was right.
I saw it on “the Onion” - posted overnight.

Scientists woke up today and the virus
was simply gone - the miracle - has happened.
And they said that Trump was wrong!

The once dying - started laughing
first responders broke into song
patients shrugged off ventilators
they can go back home where they belong.

That God has been so merciful
is a story ripped from scripture
and since Trump - the antichrist - is here
we can move on to the rapture!

Poem Details | by Gerald Dillenbeck |
Categories: community, health, humor, integrity, psychological,

Predicting Assault Patterns

I've noticed,
As our economic and politically empowered
too consistently lead with their Right,
All us non-elite women
people of color
and indigenous people
predictably lean to our Left

To find a space
where we feel safer,
and a sacred place
where we might imagine
our lives actually matter.

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: health, humor,

Put In Putamen

The RN said he had to cough
In time with Rimsky-Korsakov
When God asked her why
She said, "My, oh my!
Don't you know he's Ben Joaquinov?"

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: business, car, health, humor,

Guaranteed Weight-Loss Program

   Vast sums of money
     enormous chunks of time
   All spent on losing weight ~
     usually ruined by dinnertime

   It's really quite easy
     now I know that sounds cheezy
   But here's the one thing that works, brother
     Sell your car today, and don't buy another

   You'll walk everywhere
     have little time to spare
   for banquets and luncheons
     or to lie around potato chip munchin'

   And even if this radical step doesn't work
     you have my personal guarantee
   I'll sell your car back to you for what you took from me
     ~ sure enjoyed driving it for free

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: caregiving, education, food, funny, health, imagination, inspirational, life, nature, philosophy, seasons, uplifting, visionary, work

I'M Thristy

Clouds burst
   Crops thirst

Poem Details | by Smail Poems |
Categories: age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,


Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!