Humorous and funny Heart poems and/or funny poems about Heart. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Heart funny poems!
Written by
Deb M
Categories:
heart, humor, me, trust,
LESSON LEARNT -POTD
Gullible I am
Gullible I will always be
Been burnt many a time
Lesson learnt….No Siree!
Soft hearted, trusting
Is who I am
Will I ever change
Lesson learnt…No Ma’am!
Written by
Mark Pringle
Categories:
allegory, funny, lost love, heart, heart,
Once Upon a Happenstance
Once upon a happenstance
I gazed, a look, and paused in trance
To dream upon a crystal palace
Her heart aglee and form to chalice
With towers true and field in view
I set a course to give tongue to
I crossed the field - anxiety smote
And walked upon this palace mote
Yet, as I firmed, my heart to pour
She drew the bridge and bolted door
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, i miss you,
To the Poet Who Broke My Heart Dw
We were ‘married’ on poetry soup
I kept my hubby right in the loop
I still rue the day
That you went away
I need to dry my tears and regroup
Loved your humour right from the start
I miss you with all of my heart
Want you to come back
Get you in the sack*
Then they’ll never tear us apart!
* In case you are wondering … Darren and I are simply amazing friends and this is a cheeky line from one of the last mails he sent me in October.
I miss you my lovely friend
2nd February 2015
Contest: A Valentine Limerick SKAT A
Written by
Donal Mahoney
Categories:
heart, sick,
Funny As a Heart Attack
A group of older men gather
once a week to talk about life
after a heart attack.
Old Len chews tobacco still
and tells jokes in a voice so low
no one can hear the punch line.
Another man asks Len
to talk louder so they all
can hear the punch line.
That’s when they discover
Len's been telling the same joke
at every meeting, over and over.
The joke’s about a loan officer
who lends a man $10,000 for a
face lift that turns out so good
the lender can’t find him.
With heart attacks in common,
the men yell “Tell it, again, Len!”
Donal Mahoney
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, lovebody,
The Heart Carved On the Tree
There was a lady that I once knew
She met her love she felt was true
He carved their initials into a tree
As she leaned closely on his knee
Trouble in paradise soon they learned
When her initials he wanted to burn
Her middle name he did not know
Until on the tree he wanted to show
Her initials spelled a body part you see
For her name was Linda Elaine Greene
When he burned it into the tree
He was concerned exactly what would be
When also carved his name into the tree
His name spelled a body also you see
For his name was Armond Raymond Moran
Now what was seen Leg Loves Arm so he ran
Written by
Gail Foster
Categories:
bird, heart, humor, irony, love, myth
The Gift of Eros
The Gift of Eros
Aloft flies Eros; mischief fluttered wings
With silent rustle whisper overhead
By arrows pierced; the hearts of knaves and kings
The chilly grave, the restless lover’s bed
Blue London air, red Piccadilly light
Above the shifting crowd and constant noise
In summer heat, in neon and the night
He aims his slender bow with perfect poise
Aloft flies Eros; underneath his feet
As shadows of the Circus slowly shift
I contemplate my own love, bitter, sweet
The wound that Eros wrought in me, the gift
And as I turn my tears up to the sky
A pigeon drops an arrow in my eye
by Gail
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
heartbroken, humorous, poetry,
You Broke My Heart
I wrote the perfect poem, and I double-checked each line
The imagery was stunning, the picture painted was divine
My face broke into a smile with the glowing comments I received
But when I saw the ‘winner’s list’ I found my eyes were deceived
There was a massive void where my name should have been
How could the premiere contest sponsor be so bloody mean!
Contest You Broke my Heart
Sponsored by Nicola Byrne
02~11~17
Written by
Joe Flach
Categories:
funny, heart, heart,
What a Way To Go
Of course it would involve making love
If I had to choose the way that I would die
Fornicating until my heart gives out
Is something I might like to try
The mortician might have a job to do
In trying to fix the smile stuck on my face
And the cause of death on the certificate
Might result in a little disgrace
But alas, my heart seems to last much longer
Than the other required part for this act
But I am willing to keep on giving it a try
And on that you can bet as a fact
Written for the "Die A Fun Death" contest.
Written by
Regina Mcintosh
Categories:
heart, hope, humor,
Hope Remains
Hearts alive, thriving, surviving
In shadows they heal from their pain
Hearts arrive, striving, reviving
Hidden by the hopes which remain
YOUR BEST FOUR-LINE LIGHT VERSE, NO. 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: L MILTON HANKINS
August 24, 2021
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
god, heart, humor, technology,
A World Obsessed with Technology
A world obsessed with technology
leads mankind to dismiss teleology
God has not been found by telescopes ~
I’d suggest they try a stethoscope
Written by
Jimmi Canada
Categories:
graduation, growing up, heart, history, humor, marriage
Walk
A bulging extremity,
a feminist integrity,
a swaggering centipede,
the cops arresting me,
my dick the right size,
the bang coming out of your eye's,
the sensitivity upon demise,
the dew and dripping from the sky's,
the eagerness of eloping,
the magnitude of doping,
the honesty of groping,
scattering scorpions glowing and scoping.
Written by
Emma Anonymous
Categories:
funny, love,
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Absence makes
the heart grow fonder
to those closer
not those yonder
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
break up, future, hope, humorous, relationship,
Vacancy To Fill One Lonely Heart - For Contest
My Ex Husband:-
Lied to me
Was often drunk and violent
Belittled me
Spent all my money
Ran off with my best friend ...
HE’S FIRED!
Position is now vacant
the new applicant needs to be:-
Honest
Teetotal and gentle as a lamb
Stand by me through thick and thin and not put me down
Solvent enough to buy me the odd bunch of flowers or an orchid
Loyal – (the only real friends I have left are male!)
If you think you can fill this position ...
YOU’RE HIRED!
Contest: The Interview – Judy Konos
7th June 2015
Jan Allison
Written by
Richard Lamoureux
Categories:
heart, humor, lonely,
A Penny For Your Thoughts
I searched for a Penny
So I could hear her thoughts
Sadly there weren't any
My heart was left in knots
Perhaps a wooden Nickle
Or maybe a thin dime
Would help me in a pickle
So this girl could be mine
I was determined to pass Buck
For he seemed to have her ear
He possessed that Irish luck
So I cried in my green beer
This girl I wanted to hold
Was enamored with his gold
"Penny for your thoughts"
"Don't accept any wooden Nickles."
"All he had was one thin dime"
"The Buck stops here"
"Luck of the Irish"
"The one who has the Gold gets the girl!"
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
car, eulogy, humor,
''sicilia'' Your Breaking My Heart Or His Final ''Hit''
Filled plate of grilled tortellini
Killed the great James Gandolfini
This star's carcass heavy
A Ford or a Chevy
Should have been a Lamborghini
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
family, funny
Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
very nice to me
lived far across the country
the perfect distance
Barbara Gorelick
for Dr Ram's "in-laws" contest
Written by
Cindi Rockwell
Categories:
adventure, funny, heart,
Never, Always, Sometimes
I never ate a dinosaur,
Though I have always felt the call.
Sometimes I crave that giant beast
Like some wild Neanderthal.
I never yet have had false teeth.
I should be more thankful, I'm sure,
But sometimes at my granny's house
Denture humor make us all roar!
I never jumped from an airplane.
I always found jumpers quite mad!
The plane's not falling, pilot good,
Sometimes for small blessings be glad!
I never told my mom good-bye.
I'll always regret that mistake.
Won't meet again til some time's passed
A future for bygones to make.
Written by
Michelle Born
Categories:
change, emo, gothic, heart, hilarious, mirror
Miserable
There are times some mat be some what miserable
To me my life isn't bad enough to say it is terrible,
I am happy and blessed with my whole world
Those whom are not happy always live in turmoil,
Misery loves company they always say
yes it is sad that others do feel this way,
My heart goes out to those but, they have to be the ones wanting to change
The negativity they have in their souls needs to be rearranged.
Written By: Unique Poetry 2015
Written by
Clifford Villalon
Categories:
funny love,
Smile In Your Heart
Pinched on my side
Grabbed you by my side
Pushed going to the bedside
Pulled out of my shortside.
Wherever you go, I carry your smile
Smile in your heart, memory in my stile.
Whenever you fall,
catching you with my loving arms
Beating in my chest,
smoking drum that warms.
With your heart, I smile
In your heart, I pile.
A smile in your heart
grows a thousand smile.
Miles of a loving start
blows a million smart.
Written by
Poesy Relish
Categories:
humor, poetess, valentines day,
Skat a Broke My Heart :D
SKAT A broke my poor delicate heart
with a topic i cant take part
On valentine i must craft
not by design did she draft
she a poet so dear and smart
© Nadiya (2 Feb '15)
Place 2nd in the contest 'a valentine limerick to the poet who broke my heart' by Skat A on 27 May 2015.
Written by
Paul Curtis
Categories:
funny
Young At Heart
Young at heart
Well that’s a start
You’re only as old as you feel
Isn’t that the deal?
Well in my heart I feel young
But when all said and done
Being young at heart, let’s face it
Still means you’re older in other places
Written by
Faye Gibson
Categories:
heart, humorous,
Lemon Pie
He stole her heart and her handbag;
she cooked his goose and lemon pie.
He planned the purse theft as a gag;
he stole her heart and her handbag.
Her heart also his, watch him brag,
but not so fast--she will deny
he stole her heart and her handbag;
she cooked his goose and lemon pie.
Copyright, August 27, 2014
Faye Lanham Gibson
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
art, fun, funny, heart, hilarious, humorous
Bawdy, Limericks and Humor Too
For mature audiences only
Written by
William Herzog
Categories:
adventure, art, bible, desire, faith, funny love
Keep In Your Heart
Keep love in your heart and do not fall apart
Keep wisdom in your heart and ask Bart
Keep power in your heart and go to K-mart
Keep spirit in your heart and go and get the merit
Written by
Mike Martin
Categories:
heart, heartbreak, heartbroken, horse, humor, i love you
Who's That At My Fire
McMar of the South
Rode out into the meadow
To hide his shadow
It was taller there
Than McMar had ever been
It was darker there
McMar rode faster
Trying hard to outrun it
Riding until dark
I think it's gone now
I hope it doesn't come back
Who's that at my fire?
Who's eating my beans?
Who's helping me stoke my coals?
Who's lying beside me?
Copyright © Mike Martin 2015