Humorous and funny Heaven poems and/or funny poems about Heaven. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Heaven funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Heaven Poems.
Poem Details | by
Kim Van Breda |
Categories:
humor, poets, tribute,
oh what a wonderful group we make
as we pen our poems and take a break
our traits range from weird to strange
in all probability certifiably deranged
leaving legacies of genius in our wake
Poem Details | by
Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories:
fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, smile,
My husband is four foot seven
I stand at six foot eleven
everything is cool
he has a step stool
it’s called the Stairway to Heaven
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
humor,
In the dark recesses of my mind
Dwells a passion for life and all it's secrets
To experience the wonders of this amazing world
To discover its vast oceans of knowledge
To revel in the sweetness of a gentle breeze
To smell nature's lingering aroma after a summer rain
The moonlit nights that light our way home
The magic of those bright twinkling stars
How fortunate we are to be alive
To be able to experience the magic of the morning
With the sweet smell of honeysuckle in the air
As we stroll through unending fields
Of lush greenery under brilliant blue skies
Some would describe this as heaven on earth
I would describe it as, “whatcha bin smokin' dude!”
Poem Details | by
John Lawless |
Categories:
heaven, humor,
What if Heaven….
is HELL….
The ultimate
gated
retirement community.
No “crazy” old neighbors
talking to their cats,
feeding their plastic flamingoes
styrofoam packing peanuts.
No music
unless downloaded
from a select play list,
no flags, no bumper stickers,
(unreadable wrinkled tattoos – OK).
No churches
if you’re here
you should know why.
Just forever smiling
angelic faces
aching
to drop a cannonball
into the pool.
John G. Lawless
©4/4/2019
Poem Details | by
Dan Keir |
Categories:
allah, angel, angst, confusion, dream, education, faith, freedom, god, happiness, health, heaven, history, holocaust, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, miracle, nature, on writing and words, pain, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religious, sad, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?
Poem Details | by
Dan Keir |
Categories:
allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?
Poem Details | by
Stacey Brown |
Categories:
funny, happy, husband, marriage,
His lovely wife is named Heaven
She scolds him seventy times seven
Yet, Big Joe just never really cared
In Heaven he lives happily, hearing impaired!
Stacey Brown 2-6-14
Dr. Ram Mehta contest
Husbands are in heaven
whose wives scold not
Poem Details | by
Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories:
humor, religion,
If I go
to heaven,
then what?
Poem Details | by
Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories:
bereavement, betrayal, drink, giggle, heaven, hyperbole, obituary,
Machiavelli s'been stewing
teardrops in the Soup
Stooping to new lows
for SYMPATHY
stirring chickens in the coop
Seems some folks will do anything
for what they think is fame
Swiss cheese stories for glory
Lordy! Whaddah' shame!
Reminds me of two classic movies...
"Freddie Lives" and the other is
"The Crying Game"...
but this one's very unbelievable, it ain't scary,
and it's much
MUCH more lame!~
Poem Details | by
Anthony Scandrick Ii |
Categories:
angel, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, daughter, death, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, faith, fear, forgiveness, freedom, friendship, girlfriend, grief, happiness, hate, heaven, hope, humorous, imagination, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, passion, peace, relationship, romance, romantic, sorrow, sorry, stress, sympathy, uplifting, heart, hate, hate, heart,
When you're hurt inside,
And there's no where to hide,
And there's no one on your side,
And it's killing your pride,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,
When your heart is chocking,
The heavy words never spoken,
The things that hurt you inside,
When love has died,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,
When your heart is gone,
From being alone,
And it beats a solemn tone,
When you're cold inside,
It's only a short ride,
Never take hate outside
Poem Details | by
Brenda Mcgrath |
Categories:
food, fun, humorous,
Pancakes come from heaven above,
One bite and it is culinary love!
Calories don’t count, you can eat your fill!
The Pancake world surely beats the grill!
Poem Details | by
Verlena S. Walker |
Categories:
health, heaven, hilarious, hip hop, howl, humor, humorous,
I am getting hungry y’all.
I have no food in the house.
I wonder why I have to order out.
Laugh out Loud
Colloquium
I am getting hungry you all.
I have to order out.
I have no food in my house.
LOL
Acronym
I am hungry y’all.
I have ordered out.
Still no food in my house
Don’t you dare laugh out.
Corrected
_______________________|
Penned on May 01, 2014!
Poem Details | by
Huberta Van Akkeren |
Categories:
humorous,
‘t was on a rainy day in Camelot
A knight saw a maid he liked a lot
Before he paid heed
He remembered, indeed
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not
The maid, it seemed, had almost forgot
The words of her mother, whose name was Dot
For marital bliss
Remember just this
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not
The knight with the maid was quite besot
And after a time they tied the knot
She never did scold
He did not grow old
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not
The end of this tale may surprise a lot
Because heaven is not the place he got
Words one day you may recall
Some, but certainly not all
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not
Poem Details | by
Brenda Mcgrath |
Categories:
heaven, humorous, inspirational, money,
When I see a penny twinkle at me in the street,
It says, "Pick me up," down at my feet.
I slip it in my pocket and off I go,
With the good luck penny I could not forego.
It makes no difference if they are shiny, dirty, or black,
If I find a penny, I can’t turn my back.
They go home with me to my glass change jar,
And I save them to spend on a vacation afar.
Recently I went for a walk and found pennies galore.
There was a trail of pennies for 50 feet or more!
It was pennies, pennies, pennies- surely this was a sign…
That they had dropped from heaven, and I was on cloud nine!
6/25/16
Contest 206 Any Form, Any Topic, Max 12 Lines
Sponsor: Brian Strand
Awarded 9th Place
Poem Details | by
Tim Ryerson |
Categories:
funny,
Please move it on sir
you are holding up the line
Re-innn...carnate what?
Could you repeat that? Oh, yeah!
See that ‘Been-There-Done-That’ sign?
Poem Details | by
Deborah Finneran |
Categories:
beautiful, change, character, chocolate, food, fun, growing up, happy, heaven, humorous, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, introspection, joy, life, light, love, metaphor, philosophy, self, simple, strength, success, thank you, thanks, thanksgiving, time, today, truth, uplifting, visionary, wisdom, words,
Cookies -
Why can’t I have the chocolate one
I want more
She took my cookie
Hers is bigger than mine
I want to trade
That’s not fair
Cookies +
Thank you for the cookie
I love you
Thanks for all you do for me
I am satisfied
This is good
I am loved
Written By Deborah Finneran :) 2013
Poem Details | by
Jaquay Atkins |
Categories:
addiction, anniversary, anxiety, art, baby, beautiful, beauty, blessing, boyfriend, class, confidence, conflict, desire, destiny, devotion, education, environment, faith, fantasy, fate, feelings, for her, fun, funny love, future, giggle, girlfriend, happiness, heart, heaven, life, light, loneliness, lonely, lost, lust, magic, strength, stress, sweet love, symbolism,
Often, I have uttered these words to myself
Your feminity has entranced my manhood
My vision is focused on your subject matter
A quick study of a woman's psychology
I feel you with my mind, and touch you with my eyes
Senses are heightened in your very presence
Soon, I will utter the ultimate words of encouragement
Constant admiration for your hidden strengths
Instant chemistry between us has changed our biology
Soon, I will hold you tight and recite the following;
Baby, I love you
Poem Details | by
James Fraser |
Categories:
heaven, humor, religion, boy,
Off to the Church this Cowboy went
For Sunday to him was Heaven sent
But as he took to his pew
Suddenly into their view
Beelzebub, he, now present
Imagine the screaming now starting
To the exits they're simply departing
But this Cowboy remains
Against Beelzebub's deign
Oh the odours of the leaving farting
To the Cowboy, Beelzebub says
In a broken down language display
Are you frightened of me
Am I stronger than thee
Not really, who do you think you portray
For Satan I am, but you never have fears
No matter what I say, leaves you no tears
So simply, what can it be
That your not scared of thee
I've been married to your sister for years
.
Poem Details | by
Jerica Sanchez |
Categories:
boyfriend, care, dedication, devotion, faith, first love, for her, for him, gender, girlfriend, happiness, happy, heart, heaven, home, house, how i feel, humor, husband, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, kiss, longing, love, marriage, miss you, missing, poems, poetry, romance, romantic, together, words,
When I hear your name
My heart beats faster than usual
It's not that I am ashame
But It's just your name is too special..
Can't control the feelings
When I am with you
Can't stop smiling
When you hold me like you do
When you hug me then
I feel like I'm in heaven
You are a blessing from above
And you are the reason why I loved
I'll promise to love you FOREVERMORE..
And I will cherish you until the end of my borrowed life
And I will keep our precious memories as long as
we see each other in our next life..
Poem Details | by
Tim Ryerson |
Categories:
funny, girlfriend,
My girlfriend’s love never ceases
My girlfriend loves me to pieces
My girlfriend takes away my breath
My girlfriend just loves me to death
Too young to be passing so soon
(Services to be held at noon)
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
fate, gender, heaven, humor, identity, language,
There I was standing at the Pearly Gates
I was so excited to learn my fate
First, they sat me down
On my head a crown
Then the question ~ What are your pronouns, mate?!
Poem Details | by
John Williams |
Categories:
funny, humorous,
Poor Clem was hanging off the shed rafters,
His angry outback wife strutting underneath,
" You've gotta come down some time Clem,"
Said angry Etta through grinding teeth.
"I've never heard of anything so despicable,"
Poor Clem was hanging on in dreaded fear,
"You think you know a man so well,
Then he goes and takes your beer."
Poem Details | by
Mohamed Adel |
Categories:
faith, heaven, humorous, lost love,
I will try to be a good man
And do good deeds as long as I'm livin'
I will try to behave as I can
Shall I eventually go to heaven
For I hear there you can ask God for....
Anything you want, whatever it may be
I'll try to be good shall I go to heaven
So I can ask him to make you love me!
Poem Details | by
Seren Roberts |
Categories:
humorous,
If I am in Luck, Heaven is near
Showered and waxed,good atmosphere
Dressed to kill or should say thrill
His libido has gone downhill
Viagra worked, gave a thankful cheer
Penned May 21 2015
Poem Details | by
Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories:
heaven, humor, humorous, inspiration, miracle, snow,
a snowflake falls from heaven
lands on the tip of my nose
and points the way