Humorous and funny Heaven poems and/or funny poems about Heaven. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Heaven funny poems!
Written by
Kim Van Breda
Categories:
humor, poets, tribute,
Poetry Heaven
oh what a wonderful group we make
as we pen our poems and take a break
our traits range from weird to strange
in all probability certifiably deranged
leaving legacies of genius in our wake
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, smile
Stairway To Heaven
My husband is four foot seven
I stand at six foot eleven
everything is cool
he has a step stool
it’s called the Stairway to Heaven
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humor,
Heaven On Earth
In the dark recesses of my mind
Dwells a passion for life and all it's secrets
To experience the wonders of this amazing world
To discover its vast oceans of knowledge
To revel in the sweetness of a gentle breeze
To smell nature's lingering aroma after a summer rain
The moonlit nights that light our way home
The magic of those bright twinkling stars
How fortunate we are to be alive
To be able to experience the magic of the morning
With the sweet smell of honeysuckle in the air
As we stroll through unending fields
Of lush greenery under brilliant blue skies
Some would describe this as heaven on earth
I would describe it as, “whatcha bin smokin' dude!”
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
heaven, humor,
What If Heaven
What if Heaven….
is HELL….
The ultimate
gated
retirement community.
No “crazy” old neighbors
talking to their cats,
feeding their plastic flamingoes
styrofoam packing peanuts.
No music
unless downloaded
from a select play list,
no flags, no bumper stickers,
(unreadable wrinkled tattoos – OK).
No churches
if you’re here
you should know why.
Just forever smiling
angelic faces
aching
to drop a cannonball
into the pool.
John G. Lawless
©4/4/2019
Written by
Stacey Brown
Categories:
funny, happy, husband, marriage,
Heaven
His lovely wife is named Heaven
She scolds him seventy times seven
Yet, Big Joe just never really cared
In Heaven he lives happily, hearing impaired!
Stacey Brown 2-6-14
Dr. Ram Mehta contest
Husbands are in heaven
whose wives scold not
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
humor, religion,
If I Go To Heaven
If I go
to heaven,
then what?
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
bereavement, betrayal, drink, giggle, heaven, hyperbole
Machiavelli
Machiavelli s'been stewing
teardrops in the Soup
Stooping to new lows
for SYMPATHY
stirring chickens in the coop
Seems some folks will do anything
for what they think is fame
Swiss cheese stories for glory
Lordy! Whaddah' shame!
Reminds me of two classic movies...
"Freddie Lives" and the other is
"The Crying Game"...
but this one's very unbelievable, it ain't scary,
and it's much
MUCH more lame!~
Written by
Brenda Mcgrath
Categories:
food, fun, humorous,
Pancakes Come From Heaven
Pancakes come from heaven above,
One bite and it is culinary love!
Calories don’t count, you can eat your fill!
The Pancake world surely beats the grill!
Written by
Verlena S. Walker
Categories:
health, heaven, hilarious, hip hop, howl, humor
A Humorous Growl
I am getting hungry y’all.
I have no food in the house.
I wonder why I have to order out.
Laugh out Loud
Colloquium
I am getting hungry you all.
I have to order out.
I have no food in my house.
LOL
Acronym
I am hungry y’all.
I have ordered out.
Still no food in my house
Don’t you dare laugh out.
Corrected
_______________________|
Penned on May 01, 2014!
Written by
Huberta Van Akkeren
Categories:
humorous,
Husbands Are In Heaven Whose Wives Scold Not
‘t was on a rainy day in Camelot
A knight saw a maid he liked a lot
Before he paid heed
He remembered, indeed
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not
The maid, it seemed, had almost forgot
The words of her mother, whose name was Dot
For marital bliss
Remember just this
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not
The knight with the maid was quite besot
And after a time they tied the knot
She never did scold
He did not grow old
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not
The end of this tale may surprise a lot
Because heaven is not the place he got
Words one day you may recall
Some, but certainly not all
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny,
Heaven Help Me
Please move it on sir
you are holding up the line
Re-innn...carnate what?
Could you repeat that? Oh, yeah!
See that ‘Been-There-Done-That’ sign?
Written by
Brenda Mcgrath
Categories:
heaven, humorous, inspirational, money,
The Good Luck Penny
When I see a penny twinkle at me in the street,
It says, "Pick me up," down at my feet.
I slip it in my pocket and off I go,
With the good luck penny I could not forego.
It makes no difference if they are shiny, dirty, or black,
If I find a penny, I can’t turn my back.
They go home with me to my glass change jar,
And I save them to spend on a vacation afar.
Recently I went for a walk and found pennies galore.
There was a trail of pennies for 50 feet or more!
It was pennies, pennies, pennies- surely this was a sign…
That they had dropped from heaven, and I was on cloud nine!
6/25/16
Contest 206 Any Form, Any Topic, Max 12 Lines
Sponsor: Brian Strand
Awarded 9th Place
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
heaven, humor, religion, boy,
The Cowboy and Beelzebub
Off to the Church this Cowboy went
For Sunday to him was Heaven sent
But as he took to his pew
Suddenly into their view
Beelzebub, he, now present
Imagine the screaming now starting
To the exits they're simply departing
But this Cowboy remains
Against Beelzebub's deign
Oh the odours of the leaving farting
To the Cowboy, Beelzebub says
In a broken down language display
Are you frightened of me
Am I stronger than thee
Not really, who do you think you portray
For Satan I am, but you never have fears
No matter what I say, leaves you no tears
So simply, what can it be
That your not scared of thee
I've been married to your sister for years
.
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
fate, gender, heaven, humor, identity, language
They Speak Australian In Heaven
There I was standing at the Pearly Gates
I was so excited to learn my fate
First, they sat me down
On my head a crown
Then the question ~ What are your pronouns, mate?!
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny, girlfriend,
Heaven Sent
My girlfriend’s love never ceases
My girlfriend loves me to pieces
My girlfriend takes away my breath
My girlfriend just loves me to death
Too young to be passing so soon
(Services to be held at noon)
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
funny, humorous,
A Marriage Made In Heaven
Poor Clem was hanging off the shed rafters,
His angry outback wife strutting underneath,
" You've gotta come down some time Clem,"
Said angry Etta through grinding teeth.
"I've never heard of anything so despicable,"
Poor Clem was hanging on in dreaded fear,
"You think you know a man so well,
Then he goes and takes your beer."
Written by
Mohamed Adel
Categories:
faith, heaven, humorous, lost love,
In Heaven
I will try to be a good man
And do good deeds as long as I'm livin'
I will try to behave as I can
Shall I eventually go to heaven
For I hear there you can ask God for....
Anything you want, whatever it may be
I'll try to be good shall I go to heaven
So I can ask him to make you love me!
Written by
Seren Roberts
Categories:
humorous,
Luck and Heaven
If I am in Luck, Heaven is near
Showered and waxed,good atmosphere
Dressed to kill or should say thrill
His libido has gone downhill
Viagra worked, gave a thankful cheer
Penned May 21 2015
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
heaven, humor, humorous, inspiration, miracle, snow
Heaven Sent
a snowflake falls from heaven
lands on the tip of my nose
and points the way
Written by
Joyce Johnson
Categories:
funny
Manna From Heaven
The crocs were lined around the rim,
catching a nap after their swim,
until hearing, "Wake up guys,
supper's falling from the skies.
I'll race you for a share of him".
Inspired by Carolyn' contest 4th place
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
christian, funny, political,
Trump Versus Heaven
Saint Peter at the Golden Gate
Is a man that Trump loves to hate
After The Fall
God needs a Wall
So build one before its too late!
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
bible, fruit, heaven, humorous, irony, passion
Eden
If some fruit is forbidden in Eden,
Eden soon also will be forbidden.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Anthony O. Mitchell Jr.
Categories:
fantasy, food, heaven, humorous, memory, nature
My Huckle Berry Heaven 2k13
Many of time have
I sat upon earthy ground,
amongst Huckle Berry patches
gorging in Huckle Berry heaven
with glutton lips painted purple.
Written by
Darlene Gifford
Categories:
destiny, heaven, humor,
Hell's Inferno
you can burn in Hell
or wait, hot off the presses,
Heaven has icy pops!
Contest: How hot was it!!!
John Lawless, contest
Written by
Abiygayil Yisrael
Categories:
beautiful, cheer up, feelings, heaven, hilarious, miracle
On Ah Nice Breezy Day
On ah nice breezy day, as I lay on my bed and pray, there was no one to play with. But I often find myself feeling a lazy; and sometimes I think it's crazy to feel that way. But anyway, as I lay here, thinking all crazy, and feeling all lazy, one thing that is for certain is this, I am glad about and not sad about is this, that the Good Lord had made a way, this day for me to enjoy his sweet and wonderful breeze, without me having to show my cheese (smile) and also my cheek and to say please just to experience his beautiful and wonderful breeze.