Funny Poems About Hockey or Hockey Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Hockey poems and/or funny poems about Hockey. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Hockey funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Hockey Poems.

Poem Details | by David Pekrul |
Categories: hockey, humor,

Hockey War

Imagine life without a war,
And just a hockey game to score,
When countries start to point the blame,
They take it out in a hockey game.

If someone threatens our coastline,
We face-off on the centre-line,
A slap-shot and a body-check,
By the hockey team from old Quebec.

We'd never need a military,
A hockey team is much more scary,
Instead of running all amuck,
The one who wins, controls the puck.

The winner of this hockey war,
Would best be known as "Hockey Corps",
We'd celebrate a "Hockey Hour",
With Canada, the World Power.

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: god, hockey, humor, sports,

march 17 hockey holy trinity

They're pagans on ice with wood sticks
And maximum pain each inflicts
But Saint Patrick knows
God prefers trios
Like three-leaf shamrocks and hat tricks

Poem Details | by David Fisher |
Categories: funny, hockey, humorous,

Stanley's Cup

There’s a poor hockey player named Rupp
And though ill equipped, never gave up
But while in the big game
His groin was the puck’s aim
He said, “No sweat, I’m wearing Stanley’s cup.”

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, high school, sports,

A Threat To the Hockey Team

Each child has talents and Dee always loved to skate
One night at the lake she was called up to the plate
The high school hockey team was “slip-sliding away”*
So call her a chauvinist; Dee wanted to play
But when the coach recruited her for the team
One boy offered a bottle of shaving cream
They couldn’t skate backward; Dee sure showed them how
Stealing their puck, she curtsied, and took a bow
Take it from Dee, men don’t like to be upstaged
By her free-flowing glide the boys were outraged
When it came time for the school’s holiday dance
To find a date, this skater hadn’t a chance

Poem Details | by Dorothea Smith |
Categories: children, games, hockey, humorous, men, poems, sports,


They both wear black and white,
Sport’s fans will see some tonight,
As one type skates on frozen water,
The other keeps a herd in order.

The man can get caught up in media hype,
Each has the same angle of stripe,
Only one has them down to the toes,
And tries to out run the foes.

Seeing far away is their asset,
Always watching out for a threat,
While the other kind may need to hide,
Making some calls they seem crossed-eyed.

A zebra is born looking like this,
All the while, hoping their enemy will miss,
Linesmen and refs are known to make a bad call,
In the end, it could be a team’s down fall.

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: hockey, humorous, hurt,

Aladdin Without Paddin'

There once was a boy named Aladdin
Who played hockey without any paddin'
   He forgot to duck
   And got struck by the puck
Now a cast is what Aladdin's clad in

Poem Details | by Dorian Petersen Potter |
Categories: funny, hilarious, hockey,

The Man and the Can - Moonshiner 44

Once a bald-headed man was holding a can. He tripped and went down fell on his crown. He had a massive sore but was more than sorry when he read this and didn't like the way that I wrote for you his story. Dorian Petersen Potter Aka ladydp2000 Copyright@2014 10.11.2014

Poem Details | by Mike Martin |
Categories: analogy, anti bullying, appreciation, hockey, holiday, horror, humor,


To say we wish the very best
Uncanny nor uncommon
To actually help to make that happen
Might very well be both

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: america, crazy, hockey, humor, obituary, romance,

Limerick Crochetes: Once North Koreans Joined South Cousins

Limerick crochetés: Once North Koreans joined South cousins

Once North Koreans joined South cousins
Agreed to let drop divisive sins
Formed one team ice-hockey
Won bronze not so lucky
Each side said: “Not for US, no side wins!”

Both sides appealed to prize committee
Some judges with none could agree:
“South on its own could win
Gold!” said Pence swilling gin
Kim Jong-un said: “No, Siree!”

“Next time round we’ll stage World Jamboree
South will pay for nukes in joint country!
Not cash but solid gold
Stand on launching pad bold
Remember who stood by US in ’53!”

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2018

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: hockey, humorous,

Clyde O'Toole's Bad Luck

Clyde O'Toole suffered a heap of bad luck

   He was beaned with a wayward hockey puck

      He was heard to swear

         As it creased his hair

            Unfortunately Clyde forgot to duck

Entry for Tania Kitchin's "Limerick Fun Poetry"  Contest

(PS/31 August 2020)

Won No. 3 in the contest

Poem Details | by Christopher Allen |
Categories: hockey, how i feel, humor, humorous,

My Son Asked To Read That Story With Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Pizza

My son draws images 
On a scroll-like object 
At the age of five
He is learning that time is linear
When it isn't
He loves his watch 
How it lights up
Slowly he is learning 
The phases of the moon
Get your shoes on
We're going to be late

But his little sister doesn't
For her
Everything is happening at the same time

Take me back to the 
Cretaceous Period
It must have been 
My living room

Poem Details | by R J. Elless |
Categories: cheer up, hockey, humor,

Aren'T Easy

Sensor on a relay, really?
These Brand-New cars,
aren't very easy.
It's like playin Parcheesi,
with old fartin sneezy.
Yeah, these brand-new cars,
sure, aren't very easy.

Poem Details | by Jim Healey |
Categories: hockey, humor,

David Pasternak

David Pasternak:
For scoring goals, he really has a knack.
With him, I only have one beef:
He scored the goal that sank my Maple Leafs!!!