Humorous and funny Hockey poems and/or funny poems about Hockey. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Hockey funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Hockey Poems.
Imagine life without a war,
And just a hockey game to score,
When countries start to point the blame,
They take it out in a hockey game.
If someone threatens our coastline,
We face-off on the centre-line,
A slap-shot and a body-check,
By the hockey team from old Quebec.
We'd never need a military,
A hockey team is much more scary,
Instead of running all amuck,
The one who wins, controls the puck.
The winner of this hockey war,
Would best be known as "Hockey Corps",
We'd celebrate a "Hockey Hour",
With Canada, the World Power.
funny, hockey, humorous,
There’s a poor hockey player named Rupp
And though ill equipped, never gave up
But while in the big game
His groin was the puck’s aim
He said, “No sweat, I’m wearing Stanley’s cup.”
funny, high school, sports,
Each child has talents and Dee always loved to skate
One night at the lake she was called up to the plate
The high school hockey team was “slip-sliding away”*
So call her a chauvinist; Dee wanted to play
But when the coach recruited her for the team
One boy offered a bottle of shaving cream
They couldn’t skate backward; Dee sure showed them how
Stealing their puck, she curtsied, and took a bow
Take it from Dee, men don’t like to be upstaged
By her free-flowing glide the boys were outraged
When it came time for the school’s holiday dance
To find a date, this skater hadn’t a chance
children, games, hockey, humorous, men, poems, sports,
They both wear black and white,
Sport’s fans will see some tonight,
As one type skates on frozen water,
The other keeps a herd in order.
The man can get caught up in media hype,
Each has the same angle of stripe,
Only one has them down to the toes,
And tries to out run the foes.
Seeing far away is their asset,
Always watching out for a threat,
While the other kind may need to hide,
Making some calls they seem crossed-eyed.
A zebra is born looking like this,
All the while, hoping their enemy will miss,
Linesmen and refs are known to make a bad call,
In the end, it could be a team’s down fall.
hockey, humorous, hurt,
There once was a boy named Aladdin
Who played hockey without any paddin'
He forgot to duck
And got struck by the puck
Now a cast is what Aladdin's clad in
Dorian Petersen Potter
funny, hilarious, hockey,
Once a bald-headed man
was holding a can.
He tripped and went down
fell on his crown.
He had a massive sore
but was more than sorry
when he read this and
didn't like the way
that I wrote for you
Dorian Petersen Potter
analogy, anti bullying, appreciation, hockey, holiday, horror, humor,
To say we wish the very best
Uncanny nor uncommon
To actually help to make that happen
Might very well be both
america, crazy, hockey, humor, obituary, romance,
Limerick crochetés: Once North Koreans joined South cousins
Once North Koreans joined South cousins
Agreed to let drop divisive sins
Formed one team ice-hockey
Won bronze not so lucky
Each side said: “Not for US, no side wins!”
Both sides appealed to prize committee
Some judges with none could agree:
“South on its own could win
Gold!” said Pence swilling gin
Kim Jong-un said: “No, Siree!”
“Next time round we’ll stage World Jamboree
South will pay for nukes in joint country!
Not cash but solid gold
Stand on launching pad bold
Remember who stood by US in ’53!”
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2018
Robert L. Hinshaw
Clyde O'Toole suffered a heap of bad luck
He was beaned with a wayward hockey puck
He was heard to swear
As it creased his hair
Unfortunately Clyde forgot to duck
Entry for Tania Kitchin's "Limerick Fun Poetry" Contest
(PS/31 August 2020)
Won No. 3 in the contest