Humorous and funny Home poems and/or funny poems about Home. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Home funny poems!
Written by
Terry Flood
Categories:
christmas, humorous,
Santas Home
Santa came home with a reindeer
And Mrs Claus said with a sneer
‘Did you have to bring
That horny old thing?’
Rudolph said, ‘Madam, he lives here.’
13 December 2021
For: I Need A Good Laugh: Xmas Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
Written by
Dan Keir
Categories:
adventure, dedication, freedom, home, hope, humorous
The Internet: Rtrn
A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
funny
He'D Rather Be Home Alone
Little Macaulay Culkin
Left at home, but not sulkin'
Sued his real parents for divorce
Now he's "Home Alone" with no remorse
*Clerihew for Catie's Contest
Written by
Constance La France
Categories:
funny,
Rudolph and Comet Stayed Home- For Contest
This Christmas Eve will be over soon,
Vixen and Cupid are over the moon;
Santa, Dasher and Dancer,
Ate baked beans with old Prancer,
Poor, Donner and Blitzen are in a swoon.
____________________
December 22, 2015
Limerick
For the contest, Limerick,
Sponsor, Jan Allison
First Place
Written by
Sharon Fallis
Categories:
food, funny, happiness,
Home Baked Wared
Boxes and boxes of lovely soft creams,
ready to be loaded on our ship of dreams.
Chocolate cream pies, and chocolate E'clairs,
lemon filled donuts, and Jelly cream bars.
Oodles and oodles of illicit delights,
watching my hips grow out of sight.
i shan't resist, some coconut cream pies,
bulging above my double sized thighs.
With my mouth watering I sit and stare,
at all these wonderful home baked wares.
Give me fortitude, squeezed out with a tear,
need some treats? Help yourself my dear.
When over fed, I am finding to my ilk,
groaning, I need more cookies and milk.
A situation I should not have begun,
encourages a visit to the dietitian.
Written by
Johnette Loefgren
Categories:
funny, home, home,
Something Beautiful and Strange
'neath my family tree I found
something green and blue and brown
hatching out beneath my touch
that I love so very much
can you take it home tonight?
feed it soup and hold it tight?
I can't have it ,Heaven knows,
it wants to wear my sister's clothes
and dance around in town all day
and make confections out of clay
put it in a sachel bag
make it march and wave a flag
until it learns it must conform
it's just too different from the norm
and when you make it tow the line,
I'll take it home and make it mine.
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
animal, family, giggle, home, sweet, uplifting
A Mouse Or A Mountain
Growing up,
I was the runt of the litter.
My siblings called me Cute,
because I was the youngest one.
It was very hard growing up as a little mouse,
gray with tiny white spots.
I saw myself as big as a mountain,
then felt that mountain move inside of me.
Growing and learning is what I did,
then one day I was all grown up.
I wondered,
where would the world take me?
I found myself living on top,
yes on top of a mountain.
I am no longer the runt,
I am no longer called Cute.
Living on top of this mountain,
is my home.
The mouse and the mountain,
now has become one.
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
confusion, home, humorous, husband, marriage, sexy
Quandary - a Husband's Haiku
The dishes are done,
Kids are asleep and dreaming.
Want to watch T.V.?
Privacy at last.
The kids will not disturb us.
Want to hug and smooch?
The dishes are done.
No one will disturb us, but
She's got a headache.
Whatever I did,
It must have been bad, because
She keeps saying, "No."
Written by
Tahira Parveen
Categories:
friendship, god, home, humorous, i love you, love
Bless This House
May God bless this house
Where all abide
Love and care for one another
Tolerate and accept each other
Share and share alike
Lift each other's burdens
Help each other with household chores
Smile when we see each other
And care for our animals
Lastly volunteer to put the bins out!
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
funny, home,
- Haiku X 17 - a Home -
Drenched by the rain
Golden key fits perfectly in the door lock
Home with lots of wet dog kisses
24.05.2013
A-L Andresen :)
* contest: Leonora
(4th place in the contest)
Written by
Charles Mcdauel
Categories:
funny, happiness, satire,
Home
Home is where
you hang your hat,
and also where
your *** is sat.
Written by
The Grahamburglar
Categories:
childhood, children, family, home, house, humor
Growing Pains
We were eight children
crowded in a little house;
and just one bathroom.
5/5/16
For Contest: Haiku on "My Family"
Hosted by: Marvin Celestial
Written by
John Beam
Categories:
adventure, funny, home, humorous, seasons, spoken word
A Good Winter's Cleaning
What are Cabinites all things you find when cleaning cabinet dwellers
Written by
Cona Adams
Categories:
childhood, children, granddaughter, home, humor,
Eight-Year-Old Logic
(Learning prudence at a young age.)
Granddaughter is back
for another weekend visit.
She's a voracious talker.
"Mom and Kenny,"
she says. "argue about
who gets to do the dishes.
Mom says, I will do them.
Then Kenny says, No,
It's my turn."
"That will soon be resolved,”
I say. “Your mom will decide
Kenny gets the job."
"I said that in my mind,”
she quips.
“But not out loud.”
Written by
Charlie Knowlton
Categories:
beach, funny, sea, summer,
Ride Home From the Beach
05/09/2018
a sea of salt sand
populates swimsuit waistband
the oceans wet itch
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
endurance, funny, home, myth, parody, satire
A Song Not By Paul Mccartney
NO ONE WANTS TO LIVE IN A COLD HOME
from the album "Heaters for Sale"
by Not Paul McCarney
No one wants to live in a cold home, cold home
Uncle Albert says you should go home, go home
Turn the heat up or sit by the fire
Toasty as upon a funeral pyre
Oo-hoo, because
No one wants to live in a cold home, cold home
No one takes the longest road home, road home
Put your feet up next to the blaze
Toes become candles before your gaze
Ooo-hooo!
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
devotion, funny, visionary
Future Prediction For Home Buyers
Forget about mortgage or rent.
These days with our paychecks fast spent,
In the future I see
The hot question will be. . .
How much for one BIG sturdy tent?
For Carolyn Devonshire's Contest: Economic Woes Limerick
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
business, death, funeral, funny, home, life
The Crowds
the crowds taking the subways
enter the underground
below upon waking
to rise up
to work
in the clouds above
only to go back in the evening
down through the underground
low upon leaving
to home
to family
to final rest
in the underground
or in the clouds above
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
home, house, humor, identity, image,
Horsepower Makes Us Proud
Rednecks make parts in the basement
They've mastered piston emplacement
They'll bore out a block
To be bigger than stock
Displacement has no replacement
Author's note. A really great guy in the office has a classic '67 Firebird
that will go really fast and has fun taking it to car shows in the area.
This is part of American culture. Yahoooo!
Written by
Kira Price
Categories:
animal, funny, imagery, silly, simple, social
Home Sweat Home
A triangle top
A square foundation
A picketed white fence guarded
by
two spotted dalmatians sitting on the
shaggiest rug that reads
"Home Sweat Home"
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
funny, sports,
Home Sportsman
I'm a home sportsman
And what a career I've had,
Watching sports around the globe,
I take the good with the bad.
I have to keep my fitness up
So I drink coffee by the cup,
Excuse me while I adjust my lounge chair,
Wow, my horse just got up.
But one thing's always bothered me,
It makes me cringe with fear,
If my remote control finger's injured,
It might end an illustrious sporting career.
Written by
Dominique Webb
Categories:
fantasy, home, house, humor, imagination, science
The Life Form, the Living Door
Their once was a living door called Able,
That did curve and bend, very capable,
When I approached to go through,
Facilitating and friendly just like you,
And I so often wished that Able was datable.
Written by
Scribbler Of Verses
Categories:
home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection
Unashamed Self-Promotion
:-)
Greetings, good and kind fellow Soup-ers!
'Tis wonderful, I say,
to be a Soup-er, so if I may,
I humbly request you to lay down your pen dipped in fine ink,
and visit my blog which can be found at the following link:
http://afzalmoolla.wordpress.com/
Now if this blatant self-promoting of mine seems rude,
I ask for your generous forgiveness, dear fellow Soup-er,
And wish you a day, that is peaceful, kind, and just plain super!
So cheers from the scribbler for now,
and as I take leave, my fellow Soup-ers,
I, in courtesy, to you all, do bow!
:-)
Written by
Peter Dome
Categories:
desire, hilarious, howl, humor, women,
Good Home Wanted
Are there any nice ladies out there
Who'll take on a nice guy like me
I'm fully trained good with children
And flea free.
Loves dining walks in the park
And although I can be a handful
I do not bark.
I have been vetted
And love being petted
Everyone says awe when I enter a room
And poo! when I make a mess
Well I'm just a man
I confess.
I'm so loving and affectionate
And in need of a loving home
I'm so faithful
And will never roam.
I need a woman.open to offers. must be nice and have a yacht.please send picture of yacht.
Peter Dome.Copyright.2015.May.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
animal, humorous,
Bringing Home the Bacon
A piglet broke free from her pen
She’s pursued by three angry men
Caught by her curly tail
Oh how piggy did wail
Guess he saved the bacon again!
22nd May 2016