Humorous and funny Home poems and/or funny poems about Home. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Home funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Home Poems.
Santa came home with a reindeer
And Mrs Claus said with a sneer
‘Did you have to bring
That horny old thing?’
Rudolph said, ‘Madam, he lives here.’
13 December 2021
For: I Need A Good Laugh: Xmas Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
adventure, dedication, freedom, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, metaphor, mystery, nature, nostalgia, people, political, sad, satire, social, sorrow, spiritual, success, time, travel, uplifting, urban, visionary, war, write,
A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Little Macaulay Culkin
Left at home, but not sulkin'
Sued his real parents for divorce
Now he's "Home Alone" with no remorse
*Clerihew for Catie's Contest
food, funny, happiness,
Boxes and boxes of lovely soft creams,
ready to be loaded on our ship of dreams.
Chocolate cream pies, and chocolate E'clairs,
lemon filled donuts, and Jelly cream bars.
Oodles and oodles of illicit delights,
watching my hips grow out of sight.
i shan't resist, some coconut cream pies,
bulging above my double sized thighs.
With my mouth watering I sit and stare,
at all these wonderful home baked wares.
Give me fortitude, squeezed out with a tear,
need some treats? Help yourself my dear.
When over fed, I am finding to my ilk,
groaning, I need more cookies and milk.
A situation I should not have begun,
encourages a visit to the dietitian.
funny, home, home,
'neath my family tree I found
something green and blue and brown
hatching out beneath my touch
that I love so very much
can you take it home tonight?
feed it soup and hold it tight?
I can't have it ,Heaven knows,
it wants to wear my sister's clothes
and dance around in town all day
and make confections out of clay
put it in a sachel bag
make it march and wave a flag
until it learns it must conform
it's just too different from the norm
and when you make it tow the line,
I'll take it home and make it mine.
adventure, angel, beautiful, business, childhood, death, education, fantasy, farewell, freedom, friendship, funeral, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, health, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, nostalgia, on writing and words, parody, passion, patriotic, peace, people, philosophy, slam, social, song, sorrow, sorry, spiritual, time, woman,
Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
adventure, courage, freedom, funny, hate, history, home, hope, humorous, journey, life, lonely, lost, patriotic, peace, people, places, political, space, travel, visionary,
One more alien... an extra terrestrial. Bloody foreigners.
character, child, childhood, children, dog, fantasy, film, children, giggle, happiness, humorous, imagination, nature, nostalgia, remember, smile, storm, uplifting, visionary, weather,
Once was a gal who felt so alone
Tornato came up rooted farms home
Landed on wicked witch
Munchkins came out of ditch
Gave dog lollypops instead of bone
angst, change, childhood, confusion, depression, fear, feelings, children, kids, funny, growing up, home, homework, humor, inspiration, lonely, me, miss you, moving on, nature, pain, poetry, school, self, sorrow, stress, teen, time, writing, youth,
Like sick allergies,
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE
Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!
Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination !
confusion, home, humorous, husband, marriage, sexy, wife,
The dishes are done,
Kids are asleep and dreaming.
Want to watch T.V.?
Privacy at last.
The kids will not disturb us.
Want to hug and smooch?
The dishes are done.
No one will disturb us, but
She's got a headache.
Whatever I did,
It must have been bad, because
She keeps saying, "No."
adventure, angst, autumn, business, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, fear, grief, growing up, happiness, happy, hate, health, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, love, on work and working, pain, parody, people, relationship, retirement, sad, satire, school, social, stress, success, sympathy, time, work,
P aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
Drenched by the rain
Golden key fits perfectly in the door lock
Home with lots of wet dog kisses
A-L Andresen :)
* contest: Leonora
(4th place in the contest)
friendship, god, home, humorous, i love you, love, motivation,
May God bless this house
Where all abide
Love and care for one another
Tolerate and accept each other
Share and share alike
Lift each other's burdens
Help each other with household chores
Smile when we see each other
And care for our animals
Lastly volunteer to put the bins out!
childhood, children, family, home, house, humor, life,
We were eight children
crowded in a little house;
and just one bathroom.
For Contest: Haiku on "My Family"
Hosted by: Marvin Celestial
childhood, children, granddaughter, home, humor,
(Learning prudence at a young age.)
Granddaughter is back
for another weekend visit.
She's a voracious talker.
"Mom and Kenny,"
she says. "argue about
who gets to do the dishes.
Mom says, I will do them.
Then Kenny says, No,
It's my turn."
"That will soon be resolved,”
I say. “Your mom will decide
Kenny gets the job."
"I said that in my mind,”
“But not out loud.”
Constance La France
This Christmas Eve will be over soon,
Vixen and Cupid are over the moon;
Santa, Dasher and Dancer,
Ate baked beans with old Prancer,
Poor, Donner and Blitzen are in a swoon.
December 22, 2015
For the contest, Limerick,
Sponsor, Jan Allison
anniversary, caregiving, christmas, devotion, family, freedom, girlfriend, growing up, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, journey, life, love, marriage, people, relationship, romantic, satire, song, song-thanksgiving, uplifting,
On the 12th day of kiss-mass my true love sent to me
12 dirty undies
11 socks a stinking
10 shoes a humming
9 shirts for pressing
7 days of take-out boxes
6 flagons of beer
5 D V D's
4 mischievous children
3 dozen wine bottles
2 ex partners
and an engagement ring under the tree
business, death, funeral, funny, home, life, work,
the crowds taking the subways
enter the underground
below upon waking
to rise up
in the clouds above
only to go back in the evening
down through the underground
low upon leaving
to final rest
in the underground
or in the clouds above
adventure, funny, home, humorous, seasons, spoken word, winter,
What are Cabinites all things you find when cleaning cabinet dwellers
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
endurance, funny, home, myth, parody, satire, song,
NO ONE WANTS TO LIVE IN A COLD HOME
from the album "Heaters for Sale"
by Not Paul McCarney
No one wants to live in a cold home, cold home
Uncle Albert says you should go home, go home
Turn the heat up or sit by the fire
Toasty as upon a funeral pyre
No one wants to live in a cold home, cold home
No one takes the longest road home, road home
Put your feet up next to the blaze
Toes become candles before your gaze
beach, funny, sea, summer,
a sea of salt sand
populates swimsuit waistband
the oceans wet itch
adventure, freedom, history, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, journey, life, love, metaphor, natural disasters, nature, nostalgia, passion, philosophy, recovery from..., space, stress, travel,
The English weather:
Rainclouds follow us from home
There is no escape.
boyfriend, care, dedication, devotion, faith, first love, for her, for him, gender, girlfriend, happiness, happy, heart, heaven, home, house, how i feel, humor, husband, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, kiss, longing, love, marriage, miss you, missing, poems, poetry, romance, romantic, together, words,
When I hear your name
My heart beats faster than usual
It's not that I am ashame
But It's just your name is too special..
Can't control the feelings
When I am with you
Can't stop smiling
When you hold me like you do
When you hug me then
I feel like I'm in heaven
You are a blessing from above
And you are the reason why I loved
I'll promise to love you FOREVERMORE..
And I will cherish you until the end of my borrowed life
And I will keep our precious memories as long as
we see each other in our next life..
I'm a home sportsman
And what a career I've had,
Watching sports around the globe,
I take the good with the bad.
I have to keep my fitness up
So I drink coffee by the cup,
Excuse me while I adjust my lounge chair,
Wow, my horse just got up.
But one thing's always bothered me,
It makes me cringe with fear,
If my remote control finger's injured,
It might end an illustrious sporting career.
home, house, humor, identity, image,
Rednecks make parts in the basement
They've mastered piston emplacement
They'll bore out a block
To be bigger than stock
Displacement has no replacement
Author's note. A really great guy in the office has a classic '67 Firebird
that will go really fast and has fun taking it to car shows in the area.
This is part of American culture. Yahoooo!