Humorous and funny Honey poems and/or funny poems about Honey. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Honey funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Honey Poems.
Honey Bee Honey Bee bring
by your charm. Your sweet
warmth from your swarm.
Makes us some honey as
sweet as a flower. Pile the
hive full in your golden tower.
Pancakes and muffins, and
French toast. A million ways to
eat it, I think I love your sweet
honey, the most.
Honey Bee Honey Bee I hope
you will always want to be here.
I will wait for you with my plate
and fork and a smile full of cheer.
I'll guard and protect you as you
weave and I hope you never ever
want to leave.
JAN writes her poems
With humor and care
She brings out laughter every where
Her humor is beyond compare
Her sounds are as sweet as honey
She makes me laugh in my tummy
She lives on an isle with men
No wonder her humor
Is so Funny
funny, happiness, health
There was once a man from Thomaston
He called his wife honey bun
His knee joint went out
In pain he did shout
Viagra's no longer number one
Robert L. Hinshaw
Cheerios Honey Nuts will grace my bowl
Their scrumptious flavor I shall e'er extol
No bacon and eggs for moi
They are so humdrum and blah
Honey Nuts set my day on cruise control
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 8 in PD's "(LIMERICK) Your Favorite Cereal Contest" - October 2011
adventure, funny, introspection, science, uplifting,
Coffee is coffee,
Honey surprise cinnamon,
Delightful at best.
fun, funny, humor, money,
When I have some money
I'll take you to the movies, honey,
We'll wine, dine and dance
To have fun, not miss a chance.
When I have some money
I'll take you on a cruise, honey,
We'll swim and sunbathe aboard
And ride a Ferrari on the road.
But until I have some money
We'll eat at McDonald's, honey,
With small soda, fries on the side,
And get home via a bus ride!
~A Brian Strand contest
"Let's have some fun" contest by Casarah Nance
death, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, introspection, life, love, nature,
Relax Honey... The Worms Will Play!
Oh honey one day,
We will both part;
To rot in graves,
And waste away:
Playing with worms,
And dancing with maggots,
As they climb all around.
Relax love all is well!
Soon we'll be down bellow,
Cavorting with the others, under the ground.
Honey, I’m Home
Dr. James E. Martin
Honey, I’ve finally come back home,
Thought I was massive but really a gnome.
I’ve wandered far and travelled much,
I’ve now lost all but this dirty comb.
I know you have lots of doubt,
Wondering what this is all about.
I know, I know, you told me so!
I’m now experiencing quite a drought.
If you could find it in your heart
To give me another brand new start
I’m sure this time you will find
I won’t be again so ready to depart.
This was a poetry challenge - a twisted valentine
Dandelions and sweetbreads
are paltry proof
when all year long
he acts aloof.
He hunts all day
this clumsy brute
and barrels home
his horn a toot
around his shoulders,
he bludgeoned it with a
In this black cave
I’m stuck all day
while beasts outside
devour their prey.
With my cro-magnon
cupid’s in trouble,
no match for us,
go shoot another couple.
Happy St. Valentine’s Day
©Kathryn McLoughlin Collins
January 25, 2012
funny, happiness, husband, wedding
my honey do's should be my don'ts
but for some reason I can't say I won't
"yes honey I'll change your oil"
"ok I'll bring them shrimp to a boil"
listining to your mom oh what a bore
"yes honey I'll get smokes from the store"
"ok I'll get the kids from school"
"yes I'll bring you a towl to the pool"
"no honey I won't go to the bar"
"ok I'll fix the brakes on your mom's car"
"yes I sent your mother's birthday card"
"oh god I guess I'll rake your mom's yard"
I wish I could get a little bit of proof
while I'm putting shingles on your mom's roof
"jeeze now I'm doing her plumbing in pex"
when all I want is a little bit of SEX!
by Capt. Mike!
adventure, allegory, fantasy, funny, happiness, passion, people
Hey, Horsepower’s Runnin’
Got Your Motor Hummin’
V-8 Saying Somethin’
Icy-Roads, Don Mean Nuthin’
Got Your Winterized – Protection
… A Little Fuel – Injection
Flowing Your Direction
You Big-Rig Diesel – Action !
Valvoline – Clean …
Spark – Plugs, Packing Zing !
Let’s Get That Gas Pumpin’
So, Don’t Just Set There Idlin’
Let’s Watch These Miles Go Flyin’
‘Cause You’re Way Past Stallin’
Hydraulic – Honey, Got You Haulin’
funny, nature, seasons
on my back,
dawn to late at night
such nectar my five yes
here and there-
to show I care,
tasty produce with you
you take your ease,
whilst I'm nearly upon
my knees !
he saw his cards on the felt
smitten again, his heart melt
same ole story
no rising glory
he moaned at her chastity belt
funny love, humorous, love,
For my loves kisses are like honey~
So smooth, sweet and delicious~
For I'm like a little honey Bear~
Forever feeding upon them~
animal, holiday, humor,
HONEY MOON TRIP
Two pairs of shoes bought by Baa-Baa Black Sheep
to wander, to run, to jump and to leap.
New Bride startles, stares,
demanding for two pairs.
Happy couple planned for Honey Moon Trip.
Two Pairs of Shoes Contest by John Lawless
he called me honey
sticky drips of sweet romance
— this bee stirs me up
animal, flower, humor, insect, uplifting,
I've never seen a Bumblebee
Lose a fight with a Snapdragon
No, not ever!
Each time they meet
That painted prince of prowess
Pries open the dragon's jaws
And deftly crawls inside
To win the blooming battle
To steal the coveted prize.
In fact, no brazen bromide
Can subdue that cheery bumbler
That fuzzy buzzing, dragon busting
Blossom bobbing, flower trusting
Petal popping, nectar bringing
Black and yellow, striped stinging
Pollinating, sugar sipping
Salivating, skinny dipping
Honey, be merry, be free
Much December joy, enjoy.
Drop me money honey bee
Yum, yum, yum, FEED me!
Dalila Agtani 12/17/11
Entered in a contest
Sponsor nikko palmario
Contest Name H-E-A-D-S OR T-A-I-L-S!
That was a honey of a ham dinner
All that salt won’t make you thinner
Smear on the raisin sauce
Don’t forget the salad that you toss.
Cut and boil up some string beans
Never bake them by any means
Boston bake beans goes in a crock pot
but you’ll be tooting quite a lot.
The ham needs some clove for added taste
But don’t add salt, it’s not good for our waist
Your wife cooked this meal and added a lamb
Never tell her she’s a honey of a ham
my "honey-do" list is growing
there is a lot here to be done
some trim needs to repainted
my palm tree needs to be trimmed
the weeds are out of control
the pool is quite a mess
this paper isn't long enough
and I don't have a honey to do it
the garage lights have burned out
my shower could use some new grout
the bathroom toilet is running
and my car could use a tune
what is a girl to do
with all of these needs to meet
I guess I'll have to hire someone
cause I don't have a honey to do it
cute, fantasy, humor,
Chile honey bees are buzzing
Up Across the U.S. nation
They had to stop only one time
At a local BP station
All the way up to Niagra
The falls are nice this time of year
Adding USB's to their force
They all seemed to be of good cheer
They stopped again for a concert
Sting and the BeeGees, in open air
All the way back down to Chile
Where the Honeybees hubbies were there!
humorous, insect, nature,
Honey is a magical elixir,
Helping heal many a 'sick sir.'
It helps when we have a cold,
Puffy eyes, or runny nose.
It even helps with pain in the knee,
When mixed with cinnamon and a spot of tea.
Just think: All this help
From a buzzing bee!
books, child, funny, giggle, hilarious, humor, kindergarten,
If you have never read funny Stories, you are in for a treat
Read one at home or on a Giraffe in the Street
Reading funny stories are good for your Head and your Heart
You'll Laugh and Cry
Feel all your problems leave your body, Fly!
Your brain is a sponge, It soaks up words that you read
Like oxygen that makes you breathe
Really funny words in stories jump into your head
You'll remember them when you're in or out of bed
You'll giggle cause funny words stick in your mind
Fantastic for your teeth not to grind
Words so funny
Better than Honey!
confusion, food, humorous, word play,
Our list now has Naked Wild Honey
Now I'm getting that look from my wife
I'm not sure why she was so surprised
It's been on my list most of my life!
nor’easter skies, contemplate,
but my honey plans
to catch a flight
almost forgets his meeting
thinking about his airplane seating
traffic not in the Bostonian plan
speeds things up all he can
he’s made his gate...ready to load
sign changes to delay in bold
another call to his spouse’s cell
after another delay...ain’t that swell
he finally arrives after midnight hour
perhaps she’s waiting with only a flower
are you kidding me, folks,
i’m quite tired...stumble off to bed,
after leaning in with a kiss.
this is wedded bliss ;)